AOB: CD of the (mid)week

¡Forward Russia! - Life Processes

I IMAGINE that Give me a Wall, the first album by ¡Forward Russia!, must have been a reviewers nightmare.

The band eschewed the convention of actually giving the tracks names, instead choosing to assign them different numbers.

I’m therefore relieved to report that for the follow up, Life Processes, they have caved into tradition and named all eleven songs.

And pretty decent songs they are too. Guitars swirl, drums crash, and singer Tom Woodhead wails like a supercharged banshee with a migraine.

We are Grey Matter and Gravity and Heat both exemplify the albums grandiose nature, while the slow burning final track Spanish Triangles is a more serene experience.

There are echoes of Muse and Radiohead throughout the album, and if ¡Forward Russia! continue to produce work of such quality, they may well go on to emulate the success of these two bands. 4/5.

Top Tune: Gravity and Heat

U's Blog Rating: 4/5

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What's in a name?

So the Abbey is no longer officially called the Abbey. Judging by the reaction on the official website messageboard, I am apparently in the minority in thinking that this isn’t a big deal.

Everybody knows the football club loses a lot of money every year. To recoup some of this for what is, metaphorically speaking, old rope, would seem to be good business, and precisely the sort of step the club should be taking if it is to stand on its own two feet. As well, blatantly everyone will still call it the Abbey, even if the club refer to it differently in their PR. I’m not expecting to hear “There was a great atmosphere down at the Trade Recruitment last night” on the lips of supporters anytime soon.

Football fans are a funny bunch. There would be plenty of people moaning if, instead of renaming the ground, the collection buckets were to come out for the umpteenth time. One accusation which has been levelled at the directors is that they have “sold the clubs soul.” However, I would say if the soul of the club is a stadium we don’t own then we are in trouble anyway.

But, while I think this is a positive step in theory, there are still obvious questions raised by the deal, most pertinently, how much are we getting? If, as Norman Gauntry said at the AGM, the sum is 50k – 100k, then all is well and good, but leaving it undisclosed just encourages speculation and rumour mongering. Even a ball park figure would be nice.

Similarly, the fact that it is George Roll’s company doing the sponsoring begs the question how hard did they look to find other interested parties? These are questions to which I suspect we won’t get answers, unless our good old local family newspaper indulges in some proper journalism for a change. I won’t hold my breath on that front.

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Vics:0 U's:2

For possibly the first time in my life, and certainly the first time in recent years, I queued to get a ticket for a Cambridge United game yesterday. Here it is:

What a nice ticket it is too, and one which I'm pleased will admit me to a match against Burton not Exeter, after a topsy turvy final day which saw United's opponents change more often than Stevenage change managers, hehe.

My pleasure is largely selfish, as there's no way I could have got the time off work to trek all the way to Devon. But, having seen the Grecians a few times on TV, I also think they would represent a marginally tougher nut to crack. Of course, if we get through we may well have to crack them in the final, but that's a long way off and stuff.

Anyway, it was good to end the season on a high note, unlike the other three teams who didn't manage a win between them. I notice that we're top of the form table as well, which can only stand us in good stead.

Congrats, too, must go to our leader on the birth of his new baby, even though the concept of Alexander Quinn being conceived repulses me somewhat; it's a bit like thinking about your mum and dad doing it isn't it, yuk yuk yuk. I hope thoughts of late nights and dirty nappies won't be distracting the Quinnster as he prepares the players for the two biggest matches of our season so far.

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AOB: When is a journalist not a journalist?

There was an interesting article in yesterdays Guardian by Roy Greenslade on Coleen McLoughlin. For those of you too lazy to click the link, the future Mrs Rooney listed her occupation as journalist when they signed their wedding banns the other day.

To be fair on Greenslade, the article is pretty well balanced, but it’s clear from his sarcastic tone that he doesn’t believe that Coleen’s contribution to the world of the media – a (presumably ghosted) column in Closer magazine – entitles her to membership of the NUJ.

As one of the fourth estate myself, I find this to be a bit unfair. Not that I am a big fan of Coleen or anything, nor indeed would I want to read about her latest handbag, or whatever.

But journalism, as Greenslade himself points out, is changing, and in fact the term ‘journalist’ itself can encompass so many different people. With the internet changing the way we receive information, any idiot can post on a blog (insert obvious joke here) or messageboard and call themselves a journalist, it’s pretty much a catch all term these days. My dad manages a warehouse, and Jimmy Quinn manages a football team, so they’re both managers, but obviously they don’t do the same job, if you see what I mean.

So, while Coleen and I are both journalists, I would consider myself to be a reporter, as I report the news, something which I assume doesn’t interest her especially. Anyway, I’m waffling now, and I’m not sure entirely what my point is. But it’s probably; Greenslade, don’t be a snob.

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U's:2 Gulls:0

I’ve been a very bad blogger this week, I must apologise. Work has got on top of me somewhat and I haven’t made time to keep this up to date.

So I’m pleased to be back with a happy report of us cementing our place in the play offs. It’s a shame it had to come at the expense of Stevenage, who I was hoping would sneak in despite their post-Christmas lacklustreness. Exeter and Burton are probably the teams I feared most of the other four, so it’s a bit annoying that we’ll definitely be up against one of those two. However, our record is so good against the top teams that they should be a bit worried about us as well. Should make for a couple of intriguing contests whoever we face.

Thanks to the ongoing Torquay/Setanta love in, I feel I know Paul Buckle’s men pretty well and, as Shania Twain might say, they’ve never impressed me much. There’s no doubt they have some of the most talented players in division, particularly going forward. But they always strike me as a group of decent individuals rather than a team, albeit individuals so decent that they can bludgeon their way past most of the other outfits at this level.

To be fair, they started last nights game really well, with Chris Zebroski, Lee Phillips, and Tim Sills linking up to good effect. Zebroski almost created an early goal with a run that took him past three half hearted challenges. His cross found Phillips lurking with intent at the back post, but his goal bound header was cleared by Danny Brown.

The Gulls continued to pour forward, and it seemed that United were showing their opponents far too much respect. Midfield were very deep, meaning Torquay saw a lot of possession, and gained plenty of throw ins and free kicks, all of which were wasted by deadball ‘specialist’ Kevin Nicholson, who spent the match traipsing back and forth across the pitch to take them like an Grid iron quarter back.

And when plan A failed to break through United’s typically watertight back line, the visitors didn’t seem to know what to do, and the U’s finally began to play a bit. Boylan persistence saw him get a lucky ricochet and run clear on goal, but he chose to take the shot early and saw it dip over the bar. Pitt slalomed past a couple of challenges before firing narrowly wide, before Albrighton came closest with a header that was cleared off the line.

After a tentative start out of position in midfield, Dan Gleeson grew in confidence as the match went on, and it was a superb run from him that created the opening goal. Leaving Zebroski in his wake, he drew a defender towards him before sending an excellent pass through for the ever-willing Beesley to chase. It didn’t look like the little striker was even going to reach the ball before it went out, but he did, and arrowed a shot across goal that almost defied the laws of physics as it found the opposite corner of the net. 1-0.

In a trice it was 2-0. Again Gleeson was the provider, with a low cross which goalkeeper Rayner should really have dealt with comfortably. But his attempt to collect was half hearted at best, and Boylan barrelled through, knocking the ball from his grasp and allowing Beesley to nip in and sweep a shot high into net.

The second half was always going to struggle to live up to the first, with United seemingly content to sit on their two goal advantage. Potter saved well twice from Sills, and there were a few other hairy moments but, as they have throughout the season, United defended in numbers and with no little skill. Purlitzer prize nominee Danny Brown was particularly outstanding, clearing the danger on a number of occasions.

There were a couple highlights during the second period: Evil replaced Boylan for his first run out since that injury, and although he looked knackered after about 20 minutes, as long as he doesn’t pick up another knock he should be in prime condition for the play offs. Welcome back big man! The other was Danny Potter urging one of the ball boys to slow things down, only for the little lad to take things literally (as one tends to do when you’re young) and boot the ball in the opposite direction. We all love Pottsy’s wind up antics, but perhaps our newly crowned Player of the Year takes things a bit far sometimes.

Man of the Match: Danny Brown – A captain’s performance from a player who is beginning to look quite at home at left back.

“If looks could kill…” hard stare of the match: A Gulls fan must have said something to Browny as he lined up to take a throw during the second half. I wouldn’t have liked to be on the end of the glare he got in return.

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AOB: CD of the Week

Blood Red Shoes - Box of Secrets


AS a boy/girl duo with no bassist, it’s inevitable that Blood Red Shoes will draw comparisons with the White Stripes.

And much like their monochrome counterparts, the Brighton-based rockers appear to have a lot of anger to vent.

It’s not especially clear what they’re angry about, but the result of their displeasure, debut album Box of Secrets, is a passionate and engaging affair.

The only problem is that, with just drums and guitar to accompany the full-blooded vocals, there isn’t much in the way of variation, and many of songs tend to blend into one another.

The high point of Box of Secrets is probably It’s getting boring by the Sea, a relentless, pulsating, attack on the monotony of small town life. Other notable tracks include Say Something, Say Anything and the aptly titled ADHD.


Top Tune: It's getting boring by the sea


U's Blog Rating: 3/5

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CUFC on TV

As usual the Apprentice is proving to be one of my televisual highlights of the year so far.

Even though this latest crop of candidates (the wonderfully posh Raef aside) are a thoroughly unlikeable bunch, the format of the show, together with the steller performances of Sir Alan Sugar and his sidekicks, Nick and Margaret, ensure that it's compelling viewing.

And I surely cannot have been the only United fan to notice the resemblence between contestant Kevin Shaw and former midfield sulker, I mean schemer, Luke Guttridge? With matching sullen features, annoying accents, and self-centred personalties, the pair could almost be twins:

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AOB: I'm angry

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m not an especially angry person. However, a few things have made me cross this week so I’m going to spew forth here and get it off my chest.

Rio Ferdinand:
Is there anyone who personifies everything that is wrong with top flight football in this country more than this buffoon? Well apart from Ashley Cole that is. In the wake of Sunday’s Man Utd – Arsenal game, Match of the Day interviewed Rio and asked him if, on a human level, he had a bit of sympathy for Arsenal following their recent dip in form? A good opportunity to appear magnanimous in victory, and endear yourself to the public at large you might think, but instead Rio sniffed “I doubt they’d feel sorry for us if the roles were reversed.” He probably thinks this makes him appear ultra professional and committed to the United cause, but I think it makes him look like an arrogant dick. And indeed, perhaps a better way to display his commitment to his club would be to not forget to attend drug tests, or stall contract negotiations every time he wants to manufacture a pay rise of a few thousand quid.

Chelsea:
So you have to play Monday and Thursday, big deal. Is it really any different to playing Wednesday then Saturday? No it’s not. Are you going to give Sky their money back? No you’re not. Would you be whinging so much if you were top of the table? No you wouldn’t, so shut up.

Inane columnists:
I like the BBC website a lot, it’s usually got plenty of informative and interesting stuff to read. But you have to wonder what inspired them to appoint Mihir Bose as their sports editor, and furthermore whose great idea it was to let him write a regular column? He seems to think that saying the most obvious stuff, keeping the details vague, and prefacing it with “my sources tell me” actually makes for an interesting read. Then there’s Alan Hansen: “Benitez will find it hard to manage in an uncertain climate" he tells us this week, referring to the troubles at Anfield, before adding later: “In my opinion, the championship race is over after Chelsea's draw with Wigan”. Well really Alan, lucky you're around to give us the benefit of your expert knowledge. You would expect to find this kind of basic stuff in, say, Ian Wright’s Sun column, but not on a proper website. Sort it out BBC.

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U's:1 Steve Bull's Stafford Rangers:2

A few days ago I had a dream that I was playing for United. I’m not sure what the occasion was, or who the opposition were, but Mark Beesley put me clear on goal in a similar position to that which Kayodi Odejayi found himself in during last weeks FA Cup semi final. Unfortunately, like Odejayi, I tried to beat the keeper at his near post, and only succeeded in striking the upright, thereby missing my chance to become a hero. Oh well, footballing stardom will have to wait for another week.

I’d like to say that Saturday’s capitulation at the hands of Stafford was a dream as well, but unfortunately it appears to have actually happened (unless I am typing this in an extremely lucid dream, which would be cool if a little scary). Certainly there were a few players who sleep-walked their way through what was a lifeless and frustrating performance.

It started well enough, as United controlled the opening minutes, with Farrell and the returning Gleeson linking up well on the right. The former gave United the lead with his second goal in three games, taking a Carden pass in his stride and arrowing an excellent shot into the bottom corner.

Against a Stafford team who had lost their last eight games, this really should have been a platform for a comfortable victory, and there was certainly an air of complacency in the stands and (crucially) on the pitch. As chants of “bounce bounce” echoed around the Abbey, Damien Jarrett seized on a loose ball, and slid a pass through to Ross Draper, who had all the time in the world to roll the ball across to the unmarked Neil Grayson, who tapped in his third goal against United this season.

That certainly wasn’t in the script, and although United continued to create chances their general play was as scruffy as Amy Winehouse after a night on the tiles. Boylan failed to connect with a Pitt cross, and sent a diving header wide, while the Pittster himself went close with a delicate chip which drifted just wide. Morro and Beesley also headed over before the break, and with Potter remaining untroubled you felt that so long as United upped their game a bit for part two they would still go on and get three points against hard working but limited opposition.

Unfortunately the required upping didn’t occur, and while the ball was still spending the majority of the time in and around the Stafford box, most of our moves forward lacked a convincing final pass or shot. Pitt almost connected with a Farrell cross, but that was about as good as it got, and moments later the visitors showed us how it should be done. A long pass was flicked on by Ishmael Welsh into the path of Nathan Smith, who ran clear of the defence and beat Potter with a confident finish high into the net.

JQ’s response was to substitute Boylan and Farrell, and replace them with Vieira and Reed, while Jack Jeffery also joined the fray before the end, but it made little difference and United continued to lumber around without displaying any cutting edge. Grayson went close to an amusing own goal with a diving that went just wide, and young JJ headed a glorious chance wide when he should have at least worked the keeper. Then right at the death, Beesley picked up a loose ball on the edge of the box, and sent in a low shot which beat the keeper but struck the base of the post.

We should still make the play-offs, and it’s very possible that just three more points will do it. However, the margin for error is getting smaller and smaller, and we certainly can’t afford any more dopey performances like this.

Man of the Match: Ben Farrell – The ginger genius looked a bit tired in the second half, but for an hour he was the driving force behind most of United’s good work.





Moaners of the Match: All the whinging Scummers on Radio Cambs after the match. You lost ONE game you nouveau-riche buffoons, you’re quite obviously still going to get promoted, get over it.

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AOB: CD of the Week

The Courteeners - St Jude

AFTER a week of trying to think of nice things to say about this album, the best I’ve come up with so far is that it has cool artwork.

Sadly, the cover is about the only thing that is original on the Courteeners debut record, St Jude.

Singer Liam Fray is obviously very aware of his roots in the Manchester music scene, and appears to be trying to fuse the more melodic tunes of the Stone Roses with the snarling aggression of Liam Gallagher.

It is a peculiar mix that doesn’t really work, and although the resulting songs are not especially offensive, so derivative is the Courteeners’ style that you feel like you’ve heard it all before. Several times.

In What Took you so Long? Fray refers to himself as “Morrissey with some strings”, but St Jude is unlikely to cause panic on the streets of London, or anywhere else for that matter.

Top Tune: er...

U's Blog Verdict: 1/5

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Diamonds:1 U's:2

I reached new levels of distractedness at work today.

At the best of times it doesn’t take much to divert my attention from the joys of Post Offices closing and new village halls being built, but all day my mind has been wandering forward to Wembley on May 18th, and Danny Brown lifting the Conference play-off trophy to the delight of 25,000 delirious Cambridge fans packed into Wembley stadium.

I know, long way to go and all that, but I do feel more a lot more confident about our chances after last nights win. Beating Droylsden isn’t really something to shout about, but Rushden have some good players and as such were a hurdle we could have easily stumbled over given our recent form.

Since their financial backing was withdrawn, a lot of Diamonds fans seem to have departed for the bright lights(!) of Northampton/MK/Kettering. As a result U’s supporters numbered almost half of 2300 crowd. Apparently they were expecting 350 or more to turn up from United, and had decided it was only necessary to employ a handful of stewards. You have to wonder if clubs in this poxy division have ever thought about communicating with one another.

Anyway, we made a decent enough start, and came close to opening the scoring when home keeper Roberts flapped at a Pitt cross, and Hatswell’s goalbound shot appeared to be blocked by one of his own players. But Rushden gradually took control, and we reverted to hitting long balls up to the front two, a tactic which was about as successful as a Courtney Pitt penalty attempt (sorry Courtney).

Anyone who watched the Setanta shield final will know that Rushden’s Michael Ricketts-alike centre forward Michael Rankine is a spectacularly inept footballer. Bizarrely for a striker, he possesses a massive throw, and I feel Diamonds lack of success this season is probably in part down to their eagerness for him to take every throw in vaguely near the penalty area. Several times they won throw ins around the box, but waited until Rankine lolloped (often with no great urgency) across to take them, thus giving us time to get men behind the ball. Best chances of the half fell to Jon Challinor, who saw one effort turned round the post by Potter, and had a header caught with ease by the United custodian.

Paul Carden sustained a cut to the head just before half time, and briefly returned to the field sporting the biggest bandage I’ve ever seen. It was so mahousive it practically covered the whole of his head, making him look like a small scouse mummy. He wasn’t fit enough to come out the second half, so Reedy came on in his place. Strangely, the substitution happened a couple of minutes into the half, so United were briefly down to ten men. Oh well, I’m sure JQ had his reasons.

United were much better side after the break, with Pitt and Farrell lively on the flanks and Boylan and Beesley looking like they may have finally found each others wavelengths. Boylan glanced a header inches wide, while Farrell and Hats both had efforts saved.

You could feel a goal was coming, and when it arrived what a delicious goal it was. Pitt seized upon a loose ball inside his own half and dashed forward. As he reached the edge of the Rushden box, he ferried the ball on to Boylan, who in turn found Wolly. The midfielders first time pass was superbly cushioned into Beesley’s path, and the ex-Forest Green man took one touch before sending a perfectly weighted shot over the keeper and into the opposite corner of the net. That’s the Mark Beesley we want to see more often. 1-0.

Lee Tomlin had a goal ruled out for offside, before it got better for the delighted U's contingent. Again Pitt was the instigator, beating his man and getting to the byline. Although it looked like he had few options in the centre, his low cross to the near post found Beesley, who had lost his marker with aplomb and sidefooted past the keeper.

Alas our two goal cushion didn't last long. As Rushden poured forward the Pittster attempted a sliding tackle, but only succeeded in clattering Wolly. As both players lay prone on the ground, the busy Tomlin picked up possession, nutmegged Farrell and drove the ball across the six yard box to present Rankine with a chance that even he was unable to miss. 2-1.

Of course at 2-1 you're always nervous, and it didn't help when Danny Brown had to be substituted with yet another injury. Having said that, United looked the more likely scorers as the clock ticked down, with Beesley twice going close to completing his hatrick. First his shot from outside the box was juggled wide by Roberts, then he found space at the back post and fizzed a shot across the goal and just over, when a pass to the unmarked Boylan would have probably been the better option.

Still, lets not get greedy. We were comfortable winners in the end and, as Jimmy said in his post-match quotes, if we can repeat that kind of performance we should cause now-relegated Stafford a problems or two.

Man of the Match: Wayne Hatswell - There were a string of worthy candidates to choose from, but the human cockatoo was immense in both boxes against his former employers.









Quote of the Match: Courtney Pitt - "The vocal support can't help but spur you on. It was like being in a proper football match." You love it in the Conference really Courtney.

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Bloods:0 U's:2

What a good day it was on Saturday. United won, most of the other play-off hopefuls lost, and I backed the winner in the national, hurrah. I think the players must have been missing me. It can’t be a coincidence that I’ve returned and we’re back to winning ways.

I suspect it's even less of a coincidence that we were playing Droylsden, a side who, despite some decent results of late, are probably still the complete and utter shambles they were when we horsed them at the Abbey in January.

But as I said then, you can only beat what’s in front of you, and by all accounts we dominated the game which can’t have done the players confidence any harm at all. Nice to see Beesley back on the scoresheet as well, and I think it’s important that JQ sticks with him and Boylan up front for the next couple of games, regardless of whether they get goals or not. Since Evil’s injury there’s been no continuity up front (or in fact in the team in general), and we can hardly expect the strikers to get used to working together if they have different partners all the time.

And, while I don’t want to get too carried away after a victory against the worst team in the league, I reckon we should be more than capable of winning our next two games and cementing a play off spot. Fingers crossed the players can do the business, it would be nice if we went about things the easy way for once.

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Bonjour

Hello everyone. Normal service will now be resumed on this blog as I have returned from my mid-season break to Paris, ready for the culmination of our (hopefully) triumphant promotion campaign.

You may remember that Jimmy took the players on a similar excursion prior to the Farsley game, and we all know what's happened since then. So any day now I'll expect to start feeling lifeless, and devoid of any kind of motivation or confidence. Come to think of it, that just sounds like a typical working week...

Our form appears to have been pretty poor in my absence, though even allowing for this we should still make the play offs given our run in. Good to see that Evil is expected back if we get through, although he doesn't strike me as a naturally fit kinda guy, so I hope U's fans don't pin all our hopes on Lee - it's bound to take a couple of games for him to get up to speed, as it did at the start of his loan spell.

Even without the big man, I'd hope we have enough about us to beat Droylsden on Saturday. If we can't get three points against a side whose players cry off citing Jury service, we really don't deserve promotion at all.

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