Pilgrims:2 U's:3

I miss our regular trips to Boston.

There’s something very other-worldly about the journey to deepest darkest Lincolnshire, where you pass through places you would otherwise never see: Tyde Gote, Lutton Garnsgate, and Whaplode Drove were particular favourites of mine, although sadly we didn’t get to sample the delights of Quadring Eaudyke. Next perhaps.

York Street is not a bad ground either and, like United did for many years, the Pilgrims give their best stand to away supporters. The view from the Town End puts most of the Blue Square Premier grounds to shame, and the whole thing wobbles when you jump up and down, which is cool if slightly disconcerting.

Boston of course have sustained multiple relegations over the last couple of years, a hangover from the days when Steve Evans and his cronies were in charge. Crawley fans beware, this could be your future. Having dispensed with one unlikeable manager in Evans, the Pilgrims decided to appoint another in the form of Tommy Turncoat Taylor, who of course famously ditched United to go to Orient, declaring that he would “walk down the M11” to join the O’s. Shame he didn’t try that during rush hour if you ask me, ahem.

Anyway, United started really well, and Challinor had already forced a good save from the Boston keeper by the time we took an eighth minute lead. Robbie Willmott worked a short corner with Beesley, and sent in a delicious curling cross to the near post, which found the net via the slightest of slight touches from Danny Crow’s outstretched boot. In fact I’m not sure it even touched him at all, but he did that OTT, orgasm-face, celebration again so no-one is going to try and take it off him I’m sure.

At this stage it looked like it was going to be a walk in the park for the U’s, with Jardim in particular menacing the Boston backline. But to give Turncoat Tommy some credit, he made an early change, bringing on Kieron Leabon, and the pacy winger got the equaliser, finding space between Hatswell and Bolland to head in a rightwing free kick.

Boston had the better of things from then up until half time, with United struggling to regain their early lustre. Although Challinor had the ball in the net, he was (correctly) ruled offside, and we were lucky to survive what looked like a blatant penalty when the ball spun up and struck Anthony Tonkin on the arm.

Speaking of Tonkin, I was astounded to see the Brabinator meting out praise in his direction after the game. I thought he had a stinker of Titus Bramble proportions, and in fact Boston could’ve scored directly from one of his cock ups. He gave the ball away and was stranded high up the field as the home side broke, with Leabon eventually squared the ball to Ollie Ryan, who somehow shot high over the bar with the goal gaping.

By now, United were in front thanks to Robbie Willmott’s first senior goal. He made a good run forward and fired in a shot from distance that probably wasn’t troubling the keeper until it took a massive deflection and ended up in the opposite corner to that which it was originally heading towards.

Ryan received a bit of, ahem, light-hearted banter from the United fans following his miss, so it wasn’t a surprise that he appeared to enjoy his goal when it did come. Crow gave possession away needlessly when he could’ve just walloped the ball clear, and Talbot picked up possession and slung in a cross to the back stick where Froggatt headed down for Ryan to slam the ball into the roof of the net from close range.

Danny Potter made a smart stop to foil Ryan again as Boston went in search of the winner, but the fifth and final goal came it was at the other end. Willmott was again the instigator, cutting in from the right this time and curling in a cross which ex-U Matt Bloomer flicked over his own keeper and into the net. To be honest it was about time he made a positive contribution to our cause.

It was an enjoyable, open, game, with plenty of chances. Neither side defended very well, and it’s quite strange that United’s backline have gone from being tighter than a ducks proverbial to looking like they could concede at any minute. If we can get the attack and defence working at the same time we’ll be an awesome prospect, but then I guess that’s the key to football, isn’t it?

Man of the Match: Robbie Willmott – Pace, direct running, assists, and a goal to boot. And I’m fairly sure there’s still a fair bit to come from the young winger.

Strange fashion statement of the Match: On the way into the ground we spied two different sets of teenagers wearing one leg-warmer of a pair each. Is this some kind of trend amongst the youth of today that has passed me by? Or is Boston just a bit odd?

Read more...

Kidderminster? KIDDERMINSTER?

When compared to our recent history, last season was a happy anomaly for a number of reasons, one of which was that we got some favourable draws in the FA Cup.

After years of being handed tricky away trips to teams with formidable home records, we couldn't have really asked for a much better passage to the third round than three games against teams in our division - two at home and one a trip to the atrocious Stafford Rangers.

This year normal service has been resumed, and after (just) negotiating their way past Boston yesterday, Gary Brabin's men will go to bogey team Kidderminster in round one. This is what happens when the draw gets into the hands of ITV and buffoons like Rosenthal and Keown preside over it. You just can't trust them to do anything right.

Aggborough is a place where we usually lose in spectacular fashion, but hopefully we can grind out a draw, or something, and bring Kiddy back to the now-hoodooless Abbey Stadium.

A match report from the Boston game will follow, probably featuring my utter consternation at
the Brabinator's comments about Robbie Willmott "just pipping Anthony Tonkin" for man of the match.

Read more...

AOB: Joey Barton - shut it

When I was a nipper, my role model was the great Sir Steve Butler.

SSB always seemed like the kind of guy I'd like to be when I grew up, minus the slightly dodgy hair cut of course; He was unruffled, affable, scored goals for fun, and generally seemed like a cool dude. Then he upped sticks to Gillingham, citing the travelling time to and from his Kent home as the reason, and later in his career compounded this insult by joining P*sh. I felt used and let down.

The moral of this sad story kids is that footballers generally aren't very useful role models. The good players, like my Steve, will move onto other things, and the bad ones will malinger on until they have de-generated so much that you can't remember why you liked them in the first place. Like Andy Duncan. Either way, you get left with a bit of a bad taste in your mouth.

This is why I raise a big cynical eyebrow in the direction of Joey Barton, after he stated today, ahead of his return from a seven match ban, that he'd like to become a role model for children.

Barton, whose litany of offences both on and off the pitch is well documented elsewhere, told the BBC: "When I speak from experience about the things I've done wrong in my life and how I've tried to change them, I think they respect that. Hopefully I'll be able to reach them people who, maybe before, were a little unreachable."

Admiriable sentiments, but of course we've heard it all before from the Newcastle midfielder. Only last year he did an in-depth interview with the Inside Sport programme, telling us how he knew he was his own-worst enemy, and that he'd changed, and that he'd got a raw deal etc etc. Unfortunately there's been little evidence of this so far.

Unlike some, I have no problem with giving Barton as many chances as he needs to get his life in order, be that two, five, or 500. However, I do think that before he starts talking about what he can do for other people, he would be well advised to get his head down, do less talking in the media, and make sure he is doing as much as he can to help himself, otherwise this could turn out to be another false dawn where he's concerned.

Read more...

FGR:2 U's:2

So now I, and other viewers of last nights game at Forest Green, know what you learn when you embark on the UEFA “A” coaching licence course.

If the Brabinator is anything to go by, you are taught to draw a big circle on a white board, and write HIGHER TEMPO in the middle of it. Lucky we can call on such advanced coaching techniques, I’m sure it really gives us the edge over other teams.

As well I had to laugh when Steve Bower described the game as being a “match with a lot of quality about it.” It was entertaining game, but only, as with a lot of Conference matches, because the ineptitude of both teams meant there were chances aplenty. United’s consistent failure to maintain possession was our downfall, with the Carden-shaped hole in our midfield particularly noticeable. Meanwhile the homes sides backline looked porous throughout

The one real moment of quality in the first half saw FGR take the lead. Andy Mangan turned neatly away from Tonker, and put in an inviting cross which was flicked past Danny Potter by the inrushing Michael Symons. Rovers had the better of the first half, and Potter had to be alert to make two good saves from Simon Clist, while Ben Farrell cleared a shot off the line.

But once United got going it was clear why Forest Green have plummeted down the league of late. They looked susceptible to any ball into the box, with keeper Ryan Robinson possessing the bizarre knack of being able to jump seemingly lower than he stands. LFW (bless him) used to suffer from the same problem.

The equaliser came after Challinor was brought down on the right near the corner flag. Willmott whipped in a tempting centre which found Hatswell arriving late to head in a goal against his old club. Not quite as spectacular as the last one, but they all count. 1-1.

Beesley had already seen a shot well saved by Robinson, and before half time Bolland saw a header tipped round the post.

It was a taste of what was to come after the break, with United taking control of the match. To give Brabs his due, he seemed to change the shape slightly, from 4-3-3 to 4-4-2, with Willmott wide left and Farrell moving to the right wing. We looked a lot more solid after this, and Bees missed two glorious chances to give us the lead, shooting wide then playing a one-two with Danny Crow but shooting straight at the keeper before seeing the rebound blocked on the line by Darren Jones.

Our second arose from a great run from Willmott, who picked the ball up in his own half and just ran and ran. For once his final ball was good as well, bypassing the keeper and allowing Danny Crow to nod into the empty net. I always knew he had it in him, ahem.

Sadly we conceded an equaliser almost immediately. A long free kick into the box wasn’t dealt with convincingly, and after a spell of pinball Mark Preece rammed home from close range.

A draw was probably a fair result on the balance of play, but I having gone 2-1 up I suspect last years team would’ve held the lead. I’m yet to be convinced that the 08/09 class have the same mental toughness, but we shall see.

Man of the Match: Robbie Willmott – A constant menace who finally displayed some decent end product. Keep it up Robbie.













Mong of the Match: Paul Parker – Good old Parks. The highlight of another bizarre display of anti-Cambridge bile came in the build up to our first goal. “That was never a foul for me”, he opined, as the replay showed a Forest Greener kicking Challinor in the shin. Perhaps he needs to be re-acquainted with a footballing rule book.

Read more...

FGR

OF all the places to spend a Thursday afternoon, Stevenage wouldn’t be top of my (or indeed I suspect anyone’s) list.

But here I am, staring out the window at a picture not dissimilar to a scene from 28 Days Later, only with less attractive looking zombies. In the distance the spindly floodlights of Broadhall Way loom unimpressively amid squalid tower blocks and scaffolding, it’s great.

And as I’m here I obviously can’t be on my way to Forest Green, and will instead be watching tonight’s match from the comfort of my sofa.

“I'm a bit of a perfectionist,” the Brabinator tells todays CEN. "It means we're still coming away from games, where we've drawn or even won 1-0, and we're disappointed with ourselves and that shows the high expectations we have."

Personally I’m not sure if wishing to beat truly terrible teams like Grays and Lewes by a margin of more than one goal really constitutes having high expectations, but there we go. Hopefully we will give FGR a tonking.

In Evil’s absence I’d love to see GB plump for a lightning quick front pair of Wilmott and Holroyd, but if I was a betting man I’d put money on him taking the fatter option and restoring Danny Crow to the starting line up. After all, he did so well last time we were on TV didn’t he…

Read more...

U's:1 Terras:0

Man flu is a particularly nasty business: sore throats, runny noses, and mouth ulcers big enough to park the proverbial bus in are common place at this time of year, and last week I must confess that I was struck down with a particularly nasty combination of all three.

But despite missing several training sessions, I passed my pre-match fitness test and was able to take my place at the Abbey on Saturday afternoon. Danny Potter also clambered off his sick bed to put in an appearance, and it was a good thing that he did as his last minute heroics secured a third 1-0 success in four games.

Browny and Tonker are clearly softer than me (although I wouldn't tell the former that to his face), and both wimped out with lurgy, meaning a first start since the 06/07 season for Jordan Collins. I'd almost forgotten that young Jordan played for us, but he took his chance well, putting in a solid performance, although some of his distribution left a bit to be desired.

Another change saw Farrell return in place of Jardim, as United switch to 4-3-3, with Willmott joining Evil up front with Bees taking a slightly withdrawn role. And it was the ex-Forest Green man who should've created the opening goal inside five minutes. Breaking clear down the right, he advanced into the area, but with Evil and Willmott screaming for a pull back, he tried to beat Richard Barnard at his near post and saw the keeper turn his shot behind.

But it wasn't long before United did hit the front. Gleeson arced in a long throw, Willmott and Evil helped onto Jon Challinor, who turned his marker and slid a left-footed shot towards the corner. Barnard initially seemed to think it was going wide, and his dive came too late to stop the ball nestling into the bottom corner.

John Hollins' sides are usually prepared to have a go at you, and Weymouth are no exception. In Stuart Beavon and Pierre Joseph-Dubois they have two willing runners up front, and much like ourselves last year they have the ability to knock the ball around for a while and then go a bit direct. They received plenty of help from hopeless referee Long, who gave possibly the most one-sided display of officialdom I've ever seen at the Abbey. Every Weymouth tumble brought a free kick, including the triple roll from Stephen Reed (boooooooo) that earned Collins a caution. When he finally did give us a decision, it was when ex-CRC man Sam Cutler flattened Chally with a two-footed lunge which he deemed worthy of just a yellow card.

Anyway, Willmott enjoyed probably his most effective outing of the season, playing on the shoulder of the last man and using his pace. Twice he set up Beesley for shots at the keeper before running onto Farrell's pass and lobbing the ball narrowly over. Weymouth's best chance fell to skipper Anton Robinson, who volleyed wide when well placed.

Part two began with what looked like a good penalty shout for United, when Bees appeared to be bundled to the ground as he was about to shoot. Nothing doing said the ref. After this, the half went quiet, with United content to let Weymouth have the ball and do little of note with it. Hatswell thought he'd doubled our lead just after the hour, but his header was ruled out for pushing, a decision which would've probably gone our way on another day. Poor old Hats didn't hear the whistle, and executed a full on air-punching celebration before realising that his goal had been chalked off.

Despite the introduction of top-scorer Michael Malcolm, Weymouth weren't looking likely to break the deadlock until the dismissal of Evil. He charged clear of the backline onto a long ball from Carden, but was caught by three chasing defenders. After losing possession he lunged into two tackles before catching Reed with a third. His foot was off the ground but it wasn't a particularly malicious challenge, so it was a bit of a shock to see Mr Long produce a straight red card, especially as Cutler had got away with a similar challenge in the first half.

Weymouth immediately set up camp on the edge of our box: A Sandwith free kick hit the wall, Malcolm headed against the bar, and Farrell was forced to hook a shot off the line. Then Potter intervened with two marvellous saves, fingertipping Malcolm's curler over and palming Scott Does' goalbound header away for a corner. But despite this nailbiting finish, United clung on for a deserved win.

We definately need to be more decisive in front goal, and this game should've been in the bag long before Evil's misdemeanour. It's good that we're still picking up the results during this little barren spell, but you have to think a better team will make us pay for all those missed chances.

Man of the Match: Paul Carden - Kept things ticking over in midfield and put in some crucial challenges.

Mong of the Match: Referee Long - I don't usually agree with Brabin's constant whinging about not getting decisions, but this guy gave us absolutely nothing. Hopefully we won't get him again for a while.

Read more...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

I had much better things to do than go to York last Saturday, and by the sounds of it I had a lucky escape.

Having viewed the excellent video highlights produced by the Minstermen, I deduced that United did little other than give the ball to York and watch them smash it high/wide/straight at Pottsy. Still, you can't argue with a clean sheet away from home, so long as we follow it up with a couple of home wins that is.

I'm getting a bit worried about the Brabinator and his persistance with this 4-3-3 formation. I wasn't at the now legendary Wrexham game either, but even if we were as brilliant as everyone says, it surely doesn't merit sticking with the three-man attack for so long when it clearly isn't working. Hopefully we will return to 4-4-2 tonight. If he does stick to 4-3-3, then why not bring Felino in up front instead of Danny Crow. I'm quite happy to accept that Crow will prove to be a good buy in the long run, but for reasons of fitness of whatever he's not doing it, and it surprises me that he is being persisted with when other players are getting rested.

It appears Bees is back in the mix for tonights game with Lewes, and if he is included in the starting line up I suppose you could make a vaguely convincing argument for keeping 4-3-3. Decisions decisions, lets hope the manager makes the right one.

Read more...