U's:1 Steve Bull's Stafford Rangers:2

A few days ago I had a dream that I was playing for United. I’m not sure what the occasion was, or who the opposition were, but Mark Beesley put me clear on goal in a similar position to that which Kayodi Odejayi found himself in during last weeks FA Cup semi final. Unfortunately, like Odejayi, I tried to beat the keeper at his near post, and only succeeded in striking the upright, thereby missing my chance to become a hero. Oh well, footballing stardom will have to wait for another week.

I’d like to say that Saturday’s capitulation at the hands of Stafford was a dream as well, but unfortunately it appears to have actually happened (unless I am typing this in an extremely lucid dream, which would be cool if a little scary). Certainly there were a few players who sleep-walked their way through what was a lifeless and frustrating performance.

It started well enough, as United controlled the opening minutes, with Farrell and the returning Gleeson linking up well on the right. The former gave United the lead with his second goal in three games, taking a Carden pass in his stride and arrowing an excellent shot into the bottom corner.

Against a Stafford team who had lost their last eight games, this really should have been a platform for a comfortable victory, and there was certainly an air of complacency in the stands and (crucially) on the pitch. As chants of “bounce bounce” echoed around the Abbey, Damien Jarrett seized on a loose ball, and slid a pass through to Ross Draper, who had all the time in the world to roll the ball across to the unmarked Neil Grayson, who tapped in his third goal against United this season.

That certainly wasn’t in the script, and although United continued to create chances their general play was as scruffy as Amy Winehouse after a night on the tiles. Boylan failed to connect with a Pitt cross, and sent a diving header wide, while the Pittster himself went close with a delicate chip which drifted just wide. Morro and Beesley also headed over before the break, and with Potter remaining untroubled you felt that so long as United upped their game a bit for part two they would still go on and get three points against hard working but limited opposition.

Unfortunately the required upping didn’t occur, and while the ball was still spending the majority of the time in and around the Stafford box, most of our moves forward lacked a convincing final pass or shot. Pitt almost connected with a Farrell cross, but that was about as good as it got, and moments later the visitors showed us how it should be done. A long pass was flicked on by Ishmael Welsh into the path of Nathan Smith, who ran clear of the defence and beat Potter with a confident finish high into the net.

JQ’s response was to substitute Boylan and Farrell, and replace them with Vieira and Reed, while Jack Jeffery also joined the fray before the end, but it made little difference and United continued to lumber around without displaying any cutting edge. Grayson went close to an amusing own goal with a diving that went just wide, and young JJ headed a glorious chance wide when he should have at least worked the keeper. Then right at the death, Beesley picked up a loose ball on the edge of the box, and sent in a low shot which beat the keeper but struck the base of the post.

We should still make the play-offs, and it’s very possible that just three more points will do it. However, the margin for error is getting smaller and smaller, and we certainly can’t afford any more dopey performances like this.

Man of the Match: Ben Farrell – The ginger genius looked a bit tired in the second half, but for an hour he was the driving force behind most of United’s good work.





Moaners of the Match: All the whinging Scummers on Radio Cambs after the match. You lost ONE game you nouveau-riche buffoons, you’re quite obviously still going to get promoted, get over it.