AOB: Paris St Germain 3 - 1 Bordeaux

Erding nets PSG's second goal (photo (c) www.psgmag.net)

Even though it doesn't have the best reputation, I've always had a soft spot for the French league.

Alright, so the quality isn't really comparable with that of the English Premiership, and the propensity of managers to play 4-5-1 away from home means the goals don't always flow freely. But since Lyon's powers began to wane a couple of years ago, it has become one of Europe's most open divisions.

This season six teams are still in a shot of the title, including reigning champions Bordeaux, who I was lucky enough to see in action last Saturday night at Paris St Germain.

I half-heartedly follow the fortunes of serial-underachievers PSG, who are, as usual, bumbling along in mid-table. This represents a disappointing first season in charge for coach Antoine Kombouare, whose squad includes experienced campaigners such as Claude Makalele and Ludovic Guily.

The atmosphere inside PSG's Parc-des-Princes ground pre-match was akin to that of a funeral. Not because it was quiet you understand, but because the supporters in the Bolougne end of the ground unveiled a massive grey and black flag featuring a mysterious figure known only as Yann. As kick off approached many songs were sung mourning Yann's passing, while several white roses were also chucked onto his banner in tribute.

Mrs U's Blog and I assumed that he was some kind of sinister cult leader, until a fan in an adjacent seat informed us that he was in fact a prominent member of a hooligan groupe anglais casuale who was killed in a confrontation between the Bolougne Boys and PSG supporters from the rival Tribune Auteuil, who stand at the other end of the ground. Astonishing stuff, and something I doubt you'd see in English football these days.

Apart from the concept of supporters fighting amongst themselves, the other major difference between the English and French football experience I noticed was the amount of marijuana use within the stadium. But the game that was visible through the smokey haze was a good one; Bordeaux had the better of the early stage, passing it about neatly without really hurting PSG. But the complexion of the contest changed in the 31st minute when Girondins keeper Ulrich Rame hurtled out of the area and handled the ball under pressure from PSG striker Melvut Erding.

The stopper was shown a red card, and replacement keeper Keita's first job was to pick the ball out of the net, with Sylvan Armand's free kick taking a slight deflection and zipping over the outstretched arm of the guardien.

Guily hit the bar just before half time with an explosive volley, but after the break the ten men had the better of it, with Ligue Une's outstanding player of last season, Yohan Gourcuff, pulling the strings in midfield.

But the reigning champions still couldn't break through the home defence, and then pressed the self destruct button again in the 74th minute. Keita scuffed a clearance straight to Guillame Hoarau, who quickly laid it off to Erding. The Turk, who spent much of the match buzzing around ineffectively like a bee trapped in a jam jar, took the ball into the box before crashing a shot into the net via the underside of the bar for his 12th league goal of the season.

Bordeaux were briefly back in contention when Sane flicked in an 80th minute header from a free kick, but an almost identical goal from Hoarau in the 85th wrapped up the points of the home side. "We drink a beer for Paris, we drink a beer for Yann" sang the Bolougne Boys as the match drew to a close, though perhaps the joy was tempered by the fact that their victory handed the initiative in the title race to their bitter rivals Marseille. It should be an interesting last few weeks in Ligue Une.

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20-word match reports - U's 2 - 0 Tamworth

I'm running a bit behind this week, sincerest apologies. But here are a couple of 20-word match reports from last Wednesday's slaying of Tamworth;

Through the rain a Crow appeared - the Lambs scattered. Ref rubbish, Lingy waved, Partridge can't cross, got soaked. Didn't mind.
- @RounderBrighton

My first flaskless match of the year was not a memorable one. Josh Coulson was excellent again - MOM for me
- Face

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Grays match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match reports - Salisbury and Wrexham

I've had one 20-word match report for each of the last two games, so thought I would combine them into one post.

On our 3-1 win over Salisbury:

Another great result - so I've emailed Wembley about how many bags of yellow pages we are allowed to take in.
- Face (presumably typed while wearing a foam hand)

And on the 2-2 draw at Wrexham on Saturday

Point, another point, but
It felt so much better when
That lovely Marriott fired in.
Those are the best moments.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match report - U's 2 - 1 Villagers

Yet another home game tonight, good times. Hopefully we can pick up another win and push on up the table towards the dizzy heights of the top half.

Cardy is talking up Salisbury in his pre-match interview, but the team he's describing bear little resemblance to cynical, defensive, diving bunch that usually arrive from Sarum. Whatever, any side which is "boosted" by the return of Danny Webb should be beatable if we pull our finger out.

Looking back for a moment, here are three 20-word match reports on the Histon triumph:

Phew!
I'd forgotten what a home win was like.
The chaps came back nicely
To win, almost like JQ's days.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

I thought Histon were poor,
and I was so pleased to finally win at home,
that I forgot my flask
- Face

Deciduous village people felled by green shoots of U's young saplings.I still pine for my free burrito (thanks Danny!)
- A truly pun-tastic effort from @RounderBrighton

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match reports - Kettering 0 - 1 U's

If you weren't at Rockingham Road on Tuesday night, here is fottage of Danny Crow's sexy winning goal, courtesy of MatBro51;



Also, below are a couple of 20-word match reports on what was our second successive victory;

Another great win,
Now just need to play better,
Coulson was awesome
- Ling's Awkward Smile

Felt like the away 'terrace' was tarmaced by the Histon arborists... Great result though. The future is bright.
- @stevelee23

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Kettering 0 - 1 U's

What's that I see on the horizon? It must be the glorious glow of mid-table mediocrity beckoning United forward; good bye Grays, hello Hayes and Yeading. Farewell Forest Green, ahoy Altrincham. The race for 12th is back on.

Excuse the heady optimism, but I think I'm still in shock at having seen United win a match. It wasn't the prettiest of victories, and indeed we were under the cosh for much of the first half. But we showed good resolve to match a very physical Kettering side, and had a few chances to win the match in the second period before Carlos Crow finally found the net.

The victory at least went some way to justifying the £16 admission price at Rockingham Road, if indeed anything can truly justify paying that amount of money to stand on a piece of sloping concrete and watch two terrible football teams scrap it out for 90 minutes. Kettering are hopeless, and the fact that they are still in contention for the play-offs says more about the lack of quality in the Blue Square Premier than it does about Lee Harper's managerial skills.

To be fair the Poppies weren't so hopeless that they couldn't dominate the first half, as United ceded possession to their hosts time and time again. Simon Brown had to be at his best to parry away an Elliot Charles effort which took a slight deflection en route to goal, before leaping to touch a Jordan Hadfield shot over the bar. Hadfield did beat the U's keeper with a curling effort from 25 yards, but this flew just wide of the post.

United had their chances on the break, with full debutant Callum Willock putting in an impressive stint of line-leading. If he continues this kind of form Big Phill's days could be numbered. Scott Neilson wasn't so impressive, doing little of note until his lofted through ball found Danny Crow all alone just inside the area, but he dragged an angled shot across goal and wide when he really should have tested Zema's bro, Nathan Abbey, in the Kettering goal.

It was a different story in the second half, with Willock and the previously quiet Simon Russell instigating a good number of promising attacks. Kettering were still a threat, especially from set pieces, and Aiden Palmer had to clear one header from roly-poly defender Ian Roper off the line after a well worked set piece.

But it was United who claimed the only goal of the game, seconds after Abbey had made a tremendous double to stop a header from Crow, then smuggle Neilson's follow up behind for a corner. The initial flag kick from Russell was cleared back to the on-loan York man, whose centre came off a gaggle of defenders and was picked up by Crow, who controlled the ball before firing high into the net. 1-0.

Kettering put together a bit of an on-slaught in the closing stages, but Brown wasn't really troubled unduly. The only scare came, naturally enough, following a corner, which one of their substitutes blasted high over the bar from close range. Three minutes of injury time were successfully negotiated with the help of the U's travelling faithful, who provoked a foul-mouthed tirade from Poppies captain John Dempster when they kept the ball after it had gone over the advertising hoardings.

Lingy would be justified in feeling particularly smug after our recent upturn in form. Our unbeaten run has coincided with him fielding a line up predominantly made up of his own players, and we now look (mostly) solid at the back and offer a sporadic but significant threat in attack. If we continue to apply ourselves in such a fashion any lingering relegation fears will soon be vanquished.

Man of the Match: Simon Brown - Two or three excellent saves from the big stopper, who also displayed sound handling when dealing with Kettering's numerous set pieces.




*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Kettering match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match reports - Barrow 0 - 1 U's

A couple of 20-word match reports for you on our win at Barrow. I've also added an additional one to the Oxford list which I hadn't spotted before (sorry Face!).

What an awful match
Pretty, ugly, whatever
A win is a win
- Ling's Awkward Smile

Pleased to see a win
It was unremarkable, which matters not.
The journey was long
That's by the by, eh.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*To submit your 20-word match reports on tonight's match at Kettering, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match reports - U's 1 - 1 Oxford

Highlights of our draw with Oxford are on the BBC website now - you can't quite see the true sexiness of Danny Crow's nearly-goal, but none-the-less it's nice to see some proper video footage of one of our games.

And here for your perusal are a couple of 20-word match reports, courtesy of two of our tweeters:

Could of won, could of lost, would of taken a point at the start but feel a lil gutted that we didnt beat a very good Oxford.
- @jordan_worland

All about further - If Crow fell a yard further, if his shot went a yard further, a point further. Promising.
- @RounderBrighton

And a late addition;

Tonkin you legend
If only Coulson could score
Should've been a win
- Ling's Awkward Smile

And an even later addition;
U's one U's one.
I had tea in my flask rather than my normal coffee.
Is that twenty words yet?
- Face

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U's:1 Blues:0

On Tuesday night someone on the messageboard started a thread about the best games United have been involved in over the last decade.

Suffice to say that our 1-0 win over Chester will not be joining the list, but it would fit easily into the top ten worst football matches United have played, be it in the last ten years or in the history of the world. In fact, it would probably be up there in the top ten worst ways to spend two hours of your life, just above going for a drive with Tiger Woods or taking a leisurely boat trip into Iranian territorial waters.

I'd like to say I'm exagerating for comedic effect, but anyone who was there will confirm that I'm not. Suitable adjectives do not exist to describe how dreadful it was - 22 supposedly professional footballers lumping the ball back and fourth to one another with little quality or imagination on display.

In fairness both teams were depleted, Chester because of their well documented financial problems, and United due to a spate of injuries and suspensions which robbed them of the services of Gleeson, Tonkin, and Hatswell. Their CRC-bred replacements, McAuley, Coulson, and Coakley, all performed pretty well, though the full backs gave little support to the wide players when we were on the attack, meaning that Chester's five man midfield nullified the threat of Pitt and Willmott fairly comfortably.

Returning midfield duo Carden and Reason were fairly annoymous, and we looked much better when Ives joined the fray in place of the injured McAuley. I usually stick up for Reason but on this occasion I can offer no excuses for the terrible nature of his performance. I struggle to see how Lingy could justify starting him in the next game.

Meanwhile Crow and Holroyd toiled away up front with no great success, although this partly due to the paucity of the "service" being provided by their team mates. Chester had the best chances of the first half, with Owens rolling a tame shot into the arms of Potter and Chadwick doing likewise from an even better position.

United could have had a free kick in the box in first couple of minutes of part two, when Danby picked up what appeared to be a back pass under pressure from Holroyd. But after a lengthy discussion with his assistant, the ref strangely gave Chester a free kick, presumably for Super Chris's challenge on the visiting number one.

Nothing much else happened until Phillips and Marriott came on to liven things up. Despite looking a bit like a less grumpy version of Andy Murray, Maz appears to be a real prospect, and once again displayed the kind of instinctive eye for goal that has brought him so much success in the Ridgeons League. He almost netted the winner when he picked the ball up just outside the area, and sent a delicious chip over the keeper but also just over the bar.

He was eventually involved in the winner, being brought down on the left for a free kick, which Willmott took and delivered onto the head of Crowy, who beat Danby to the ball and flicked it into the net. The decision to come out for the ball looked to be a poor one from the keeper, and it was certainly a costly mistake for his team and their band of 43 travelling fans.

So yeah, we'll take the points and move swiftly on I think, there's no way we can be that bad again. Lingy's selection for Saturday will be an interesting one - if I was Ives I'd be thoroughly downhearted if I were benched again in favour of Reason, although continuing injury problems at right back may mean both are pressed into service, with Cardy on defensive duty. And with Hatswell available again too, will the boss disrupt the central defensive partnership which kept our first clean sheet in five games? Going on his previous choices, my guess is he probably will.

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U's:2 Diamonds:2

The Pogues are on the radio, Iceland are flogging frozen meat products of dubious origins, and the X-Factor is chugging predictably towards a hysterical climax; it must be nearly Christmas.

So I think I'm justified in dusting off the trusty festive cliches, despite the fact it's still November. Rushden must have thought Christmas had come early when United giftwrapped them a couple of goals in a truly awful first half. But they showed good presents (sorry) of mind to pull it together in an encouraging second period.

Despite the massively variant nature of our recent performances, I'm growing in confidence that the Linguist is indeed a wise man. I liked his comments at the end of last night's game, particularly when he spoke about wanting his charges to show a bit of bravery in their play. I find it incredibly frustrating when players treat the ball like a hot potato and look to offload it at the first opportunity. If he can build a team of good characters who aren't scared of a bit of responsibility, I reckon we'll do alright.

Until that time, our participation in the race for the play-offs must be in serious doubt. It would help if we stopped giving teams above us in the table a two-goal start, and to be honest it could have been more in a first half totally dominated by the visitors. Lee Tomlin, who was the best player on the pitch by a distance, gave them the lead with a 30 yard free kick which beat the badly positioned Potter at his near post.

At this point United, the excellent Courtney Pitt aside, weren't at the races as an attacking force, but they could have equalised when the Pittster released Parky with a super through ball, but the winger blasted his shot over the bar when a square pass to the unmarked Holroyd would have left Super Chris with a tap in. I feel slightly embarrassed rubbishing Parky again, but he was absolutely woeful during his time on the pitch, contributing nothing in the final third and giving Gleese no cover when Tomlin and his full back Kurt Robinson roamed forward menacingly.

It was 2-0 just before half time thanks to Jefferson Louis, who as usual against United did little of note except score a goal. Some swift passes across the edge of the box released Mark Byrne, and he crossed for Louis to sidefoot home with the defence appealing in vain for offside.

We didn't even really look like scoring at the start of the second half, as referee Barrett began interupt the flow of the match with seemingly random blasts of his whistle. It took a moment of inspiration from the hitherto anonymous Carden to bring us back into the game. Sliding in to win a challenge in midfield, he brought the ball away from two players and lamped a 35 yard effort over the stranded Nathan Abbey. Wind assisted perhaps, but spectacular none the less, 1-2.

And four minutes later it was all square, after Crowy was brought down on the right corner of the box by Stuart. Pitt delivered the free kick, and unlike our usual set pieces it was a good one, fired into the six yard box with pace and curl, allowing Brian Saah to escape his marker and head in from close range. Comeback-tastic, 2-2.

United were in the ascendency now, but couldn't capitalise, and by the end the visitors had recovered their poise and looked the more likely scorers. But there wasn't really any other goalmouth action of note, and the match ended all square.

If they can hang on to Tomlin, Rushden look a good bet for the play-offs, so a point against them isn't a bad result, but we need to start turning draws into wins. If we are going to make the top five, I don't think we can afford to be more than six points off the pace at the turn of the year, and with a difficult looking festive programme, the results of our next two league games, against struggling Chester and Eastbourne, could shape the rest of our season.

Man of the Match: Courtney Pitt - The only player to emerge with any credit from that awful first half, he was a constant menace to the Rushden defence.

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U's:4 Eurostar:0

One day our team will learn to play decent football for 90 minutes. And when that day arrives, we may have a realistic chance of promotion.

In our current state we will continue to get results against terrible teams like Ebbsfleet, and even (I'll whisper it quietly) mediocre ones like the Villagers. But you have to think that anyone half decent is going to beat us fairly comfortably, and the sluggishness which, once again, afflicted our play in the first period of Saturday's match needs to be eradicated, and fast.

And lets not make any bones about it, Ebbsfleet were terrible. It amazes me that you still hear people saying things like "the Conference is a really competitive league" and "the standard in this league is higher than ever", when it clearly isn't. There may some relatively big teams at the top of the table, but there is certainly a lot more dross at the bottom than there was a couple of years ago.

Before the game we were serenaded by a samba band, presumably brought in to welcome Fleet's absent striker, and former United loanee, Mango Vieira. It didn't inspire any of the players to do anything vaguely Brazilian in a first half lower on quality than the latest U2 album. Fleet probably had the better of things, and striker Luis Cumbers had a shot blocked by Danny Potter, while tricky winger Ismael Welsh blazed over after a typically mazy dribble. Potter was also forced into one brilliant save, clawing away a dipping shot from Scott Shulton that looked goalbound.

United had threatened sporadically from set pieces, but it came as something of a surprise when we took the lead just before half time. Jai Reason, who put in a much improved performance compared to some of his recent displays, threaded a pass through for Chris Holroyd, who reached the ball ahead of Lance Cronin, skipped past the stranded keeper, and delived a cross to the far post, where the Pittster made a predigious leap to head the ball into the unguarded net.

Judging by Courtney's bonce-rubbing celebration, he hadn't scored a header for a while, but it was just reward for his performances since returning from transfer-listed exile. The winger was at his unplayable best in the second half, displaying his full array of dribbles, tricks, and flicks. In the 53rd minute he was much too quick for Paul McCarthy, turning and being brought down by the Fleet player/coach. Super Chris, whose penalties are beginning to assume the metronomic quality of Scott Rendell's, slotted away the spot kick high to Cronin's left. 2-0.

Shortly afterwards another Pitt run and cross set up a chance for Tonks, who swept his shot over the bar from just inside the box, and after that the game descended into a lull until the final ten minutes, when United put some, perhaps undeserved, gloss on the scoreline. First Pitt was at it again, releasing Willmott with a superb defence splitting pass. Young Robbie kept his cool, held off a defender, and slotted past the keeper via the inside of the post. But the best goal was certainly the last, which stemmed from some good play from subs Sam Ives and Lee Phillips. Picking up an Ives pass, big Phil juggled the ball on the edge of the area, before unleashing a tremendous half volley which rattled the underside of the bar. The ball rebounded to Crowy on the opposite corner of the box, and he took his time and lined up a curling shot which dipped over Cronin and into the far corner. Superb strike. 4-0.

As I say, I think the final score was slightly flattering, but on their second half performance there's no doubt United were worthy winners. We can only hope this result will herald some improved consistency from Lingy's charges.

Man of the Match: Courtney Pitt - Scored one and made two to cap a sparkling performance.





Slightly homo-erotic ritual of the match: Fleet giants Leon Crooks and Darius Charles were indulging in a bout of shadow boxing just prior to kick off. It was very cute.

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Villagers:1 U's:1

Some things in life are inevitable.

Every year politicians make things up, chocolate bars get smaller (and more expensive), and the X-Factor winner produces the Christmas number one single, and there’s very little anyone can do about it. As a Cambridge United fan, another sure thing to add to the list is that Histon will always score a late goal.

Said goal is likely to be a scrappy affair stemming from a set piece of some description. Predictably enough, it happened again yesterday; they got an injury-time corner, the ball was headed on by one of their giant players, bobbled around, hit another giant player (Matt Langston) in the face, and ended up in the net.

It was disappointing to concede yet another late goal, but United were far from their best for two-thirds of the game, so a draw was probably a fair result. Histon dominated proceedings in a low-quality first half, played out in an atmosphere more akin to a pre-season friendly than a local derby. If you read the local press or listen to Radio Cambs you may get the impression that the Stutes are now a slick passing team akin to Brazil 1970 or Arsenal circa 2004. And while it's true to say that, in the absence of the gardening John Beck, they are a little bit less direct, the only time they really looked like scoring was from set pieces. Plus ca change.

It took vital blocks from Anthony Tonkin and Brian Saah to stop Josh Simpson and Nat Knight-Percival, while Danny Wright spurned a glorious chance, robbing Paul Carden and sprinting clear on goal, only to drag his shot wide when it looked easier to score.

Apparently Lingy gave the players a deserved roasting at half time, and they came out for part two looking much more purposeful. Nevertheless, it was still the home side who created the better chances, and a big up and under from John Kennedy set up a chance for Simpson, who was denied by a stretching save from Potter. From the resulting corner, Pottsy also had to be at his best, leaping high to palm away a header from convicted racist Craig Pope.

Simpson hit another shot straight at the U's keeper before United took control. The Pittster was in inspired form, tormenting the Histon back line with some superb dribbles which had Pope and co tied in knots. A couple of runs resulted in shots which drew great saves from Danny Naisbett, while Danny Crow had a diving header blocked, and a angled cross-cum-shot from Hatswell almost looped in at the far post.

When the breakthrough came, it was inevitably Courtney who was the provider, picking up a short corner and driving a low cross into the six yard area where the predatory Holroyd turned in his 12th goal of the season. 1-0.

It couldn't last though, despite the best efforts of Potter, who made a superb save to keep out Billy Crooks' curling free kick. From the resulting corner, Langston climbed highest to win the initial knockdown, and, well, you know the rest.

We were atrocious in the first half, but much better in the second, and hopefully we can take the latter form into our next two, winnable looking, matches.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - Made up for last seasons error at the Glassworld with a fine performance.




Debate of the Match: An argument between two of our more, er, special supporters (I won't name them, but I'm sure you can guess who they are) about the merits of Danny Crow. Needless to say it was a highly intellectual exchange.

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U's:3 Hatters:4

I removed a post from Sunday as it had garnered a lot of abuse from some touchy Luton fans. I hope this report doesn't offend the poor petals.

Well, where do you start with Saturday? With all that was going on off the pitch, it was a bit hard to concentrate on the action, but what was clear is that even by our low standards, the capitulation at the hands of ten-man Luton was spectacular and disappointing.

The Hatters are certainly the best team we've faced this season, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that, having established a two-goal first half lead, we should have been able to comfortably close out the match. The team seemed gripped by a collective feeling of nervousness and/or complacency, and this is something Lingy will have to eradicate sharp-ish.

Despite being second best for much of the first half, United somehow established a two-goal lead. While looking good on the ball, Luton appeared succeptible to pace on the counter attack, and a quick break from Bees saw him set up the Pittster, who drifted inside a challenge and cut a shot back across ex-scummer Mark Tyler and into the corner. Then 13 minutes later, Claude Gnapka's crude challenge on Tonkin led to a penalty, which Chrissy Holroyd converted despite the best efforts of Tyler, who got a hand to it but couldn't prevent the ball hitting the net.

The penalty looked a bit harsh to be honest, and Luton's irritation with the ref increased moments later when he sent off Liam Hatch, who picked up a second booking for a lunging tackle on Paul Carden.

Hatch had been Luton's most potent threat in the first period, bossing the off-colour Wayne Hatswell and winning practically every aerial duel. But in his absence his team mates really stepped up to the plate in the second half, passing the ball around crisply and hassling United into mistakes. Kevin Gallen halved the arrears with a close range finish, and Rossi Jarvis hit a spectacular equaliser, curling the ball home from the edge of the box. Then Hats sold Danny Potter short with a weak back header and let Gallen in. Although Pottsy parried his shot, the ball ran loose and Howells netted the rebound.

United rallied briefly, and Super Chris netted his 11th of the season from close range to make it 3-3 after Tyler had parried Hatswell's header. But it proved to be a perfect storm, and following more Luton pressure, Brian Saah was adjudged to have pushed Alan White in the box, and Gallen tucked away the resulting penalty. The U's huffed and puffed in the closing stages, but couldn't find a way past Tyler.

All in all it was a very disappointing performance, especially in the second half, when we failed to retain the ball for any period of time. The excellent Cardy aside, our midfield were conspicuous by their absence, and they will need to be a lot better if we are to get back to winning ways at Grays tonight.

A word on the ref too, who had an absolute shocker. Both penalties looked a bit dubious, and although the sending off of Hatch was probably correct, Gnapka should have followed him off the pitch in the second period when he cynically tripped Holroyd, an offence which would surely have met with a yellow card from the official had the Luton right back not already been booked in the first half. It was a blatent bottle job from the man in black, why can't these muppets ever show a bit of consistency?

Man of the Match: Paul Carden - Kept his head while those around him were losing theirs.

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U's:2 Red Dragons:0

If you talked to a Man City fan today, they'd probably argue that, after Michael Owen's winning goal in yesterday's Manchester derby, six minutes is a long time in football.

But personally I think they and manager Mark Hughes shouldn't be so ungrateful. So what if the referee's watch was being controlled by Lord Ferguson, at least they got to see their team score three goals in one match. Try going over six hours without a goal, then you've got a reason to complain. These pampered Premiership types don't even know they're born, hmph.

Anyway, yeah, United got back to winning ways on Saturday with a supremely comfortable victory over a woeful Wrexham outfit. Dragons boss Dean Saunders doesn't seem to be the brightest button, having replaced last season's underperforming bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports with, er, another bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports. Big name managers eh, they never learn.

I didn't have to wait long for Wayne Hatswell to end my goal drought. Nine minutes had elapsed when Mani, who has grown a lot since he was in The Stone Roses, chopped down Holroyd just outside the box. Hats took responsibility for the resulting free kick, driving a gently but accurate daisy cutter under the wall and into the corner. Perhaps the Chris Maxwell in the Wrexham goal should've done better, but let's not pick holes, a goal's a goal. 1-0.

Wrexham had already wasted what turned out to be their best chance of the half, with Nathan Fairhurst guiding a diving header over the bar, and other than that it was all United. Willmott drew a superb save from Maxwell with a curling free kick, while Holroyd should have tucked away a low Tonkin cross, but instead guided his shot into the grateful keeper's arms. Referee Kinesley showed himself to be a fairly competent official, but missed an off the ball kick by Mani on Willmott which could have resulted in the big defenders dismissal. Just before half time it could have been 2-0 when Brian Saah climbed to meet a corner from the left, but put his free header just wide.

The visitors were employing a 3-5-2 formation which I always think can be an effective way to play at this level. Their extra midfield man led to them having plenty of second half possession, as United retreated further and further back, with Reason and Carden joining the defenders to form what was virtually a back six. Although this led to a few heart-in-mouth moments, the sheer mass of bodies between Wrexham and Danny Potter's goal meant that Saunders men were reduced to wild efforts from distance. Eventually they switched to a 4-4-2 set up, but this just seemed to play into United's hands, with more and more space becoming available for the likes of Willmott and Holroyd to roam into.

And it was the winger who settled the game with ten minutes to go, picking up a pass from Danny Crow, and cutting in from the left flank to beat Maxwell inside his near post with a low shot. Again Robbie was a peripheral figure for much of the game, and you have to hope that the (hopefully) imminent return of Pitt will see return to the right flank where he is at his most dangerous. Beesley could have added a third at the death, but saw his shot blocked by Neil Taylor.

And so ended a game in which United were never overly stretched, but conversely never looked totally convincing. The defence is solid as ever, but in the second period we spent a lot of time on the back foot, and if we play a similar game against the better teams in the division I think we may run into problems.

Man of the Match: Brian Saah – What a signing, immaculate at the back in tandem with Hatswell.

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U's:0 Robins:0

"Now I'm back, we can only hope the players don't return to their old shot-shy ways in tonight's match against Altrincham." - Me. Yesterday.

Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut eh, because this is getting beyond a joke now. The last player I saw hit the net for United in a proper match was Scott Rendell against Stevenage in last years play offs, 360 goalless minutes ago. What possessed me to book tickets for Wimbledon on Saturday I have no idea.

It's not that we played especially badly last night, but I struggle to believe that we are capable of scoring more than one goal against anyone, let alone three, four, or seven. Forest Green, Gateshead, et al must be really, really, bad.

Alty have been waiting almost as long as me to see a U's goal, given that we haven't scored against them in our last three encounters. They returned to Abbey employing the same innovative 8-0-2 formation which successfully nulified us in the final game of last season, but could have taken the lead in the first minute, when Dale Johnson's flick found Chris Senior, who was denied by the legs of Danny Potter.

Johnson's willingness to collapse when in the vicinity of a United player won him plenty of free kicks from the penickity referee Jerden, but mostly United were on top, with early balls into the channels for Holroyd and Crow causing problems for the visiting defenders. At times last season I don't think we were direct enough, and it's good that Ling seems to be addressing this. Unfortunately in the second half the accurate distribution of the first period lapsed into high hopeful balls which were easily dealt with by Greg Young and Robbie Williams. Perhaps if the manager hadn't been absent due to illness we would have stayed on task for the whole 90 minutes.

Anyway, Crowy put in a good stint up front with some intelligent running, but missed the two best opportunities of the first period. Both came from Holroyd crosses, with the first being blocked by a defender and the second looping over the bar.

The second half followed an all-too familiar pattern, with United attacks getting more and more frantic as time progressed. We did have the ball into the net twice, but both goals were disallowed. First Parkinson strayed offside during a move which culminated in Willmott scoring from close range, then Dan Gleeson being penalised for pushing seconds before Wayne Hatswell crashed home a volley at the far post. I wasn't really in a position to judge whether either decision was legitimate, but the latter certainly looked like the kind of shirt tugging that always goes on in Conference games.

It's disappointing that we couldn't break down a hard working but limited Alty team, and I think our line up could do with some tinkering. I don't like continuously slagging Parky, but he doesn't seem to do anything, and it seems ludicrous that Willmott is being played out of position to accomodate a blatently inferior player. Courtney may not be the most consistent, but he is surely a better bet to make things happen than the scouse baldy. It will be interesting to see whether Ling makes any changes for Saturday.

Man of the Match: Danny Crow - Lots of hard work and nice touches from a player who seems to finally be approaching top form.





Announcement of the Match: "Could Joe Bloggs please report to the money room" said the tannoy man during the first half. Perhaps we've finally found the answer to the age-old question of where the Dion money went.

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U's:0 Creepy Crawley:1

Over the last few weeks life at Cambridge United has often been described as a pantomime. So we probably shouldn't be surprised that the pantomime villains finally turned up on Tuesday in the shape of Steve Evans and Paul Raynor.

Like a fatter, uglier, version of the Chuckle Brothers, the "Blue Square Special One" and his stooge entertained the Abbey crowd with their usual comedy routine, contesting refereeing decisions with gusto, waving bits of paper around at anyone who was watching, and generally acting like a pair of knobheads.

I'd like to say that their team cheated its way to victory, but that would be unfair as Crawley kept it fairly clean for once, and were deserved victors in what was a frustrating match from a United perspective. Too many players had off days, and although we were unlucky to go in behind at half time, our second half display was more limp that a two-week old lettuce.

The only goal of the match appeared to me to be a good couple of yards offside. I was almost exactly in line as Ben Smith slipped the ball through to Jamie Cook, who seemed to be lurking behind the last defender. But the lino's flag stayed down, and Cook finished with aplomb, selling Danny Potter a dummy before clipping the ball over the grounded keeper.

United could have already been in front, with several promising moves fizzling out to nothing. Robbie Willmott was the instigator of most of these, beating his full back time and time again with pace and skill. He came closest to a goal with a thunderous free kick which crashed against the angle of post and bar, while Beesley tested the keeper with an angled shot that was palmed away for a corner.

But as time progressed the match became more and more reminiscent of the Barrow game, with United attacks breaking down at the edge of the area. Pitt and Crow were introduced as Lingy tried to shake things up, and although the former had more impact than the player he replaced (Parky), it was to no avail, and in fact Crawley came closest to a goal in the closing stages. Charles Ademeno, looking leaner and meaner than he did during his time at United, hit the woodwork twice, while Coulson hooked a goalbound effort off the line.

So yeah, not the best of days, and plenty for our new leader to ponder. Neither Carden nor Reason got to grips with Crawley's midfield trio, with Reason in particular giving away far too many free kicks. And at the back we were all over the place at times. I love Hatswell, but I don't think he copes too well with the pressure of being the senior man alongside two youngsters (Coulson and Coakley). I also think the deficiencies in his game are shown up when you take away the pace of Tonkin, who last season often swept up behind his colleague if he was done for pace. For that reason the return of our regular left back can't come soon enough, together with the addition of that much needed extra centre half. Hopefully they'll be some good news on that front later today.

Man of the Match: Robbie Willmott - Final ball still a bit iffy, but Robbie was about the only United forward who looked likely to make things happen.





Community Service Award of the Match: Paul Carden for kicking the ball at Evans at the end of the game. Shame he didn't get him in the face.

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U's:0 Bluebirds:2

A lot may have happened over the summer, but if our first match is anything to go by, on the pitch it's very much as you were.

Gary Brabin's players, coached by Gary Brabin's former assistant, put in the kind of performance Gary Brabin's Cambridge United gave us all too often last year, especially pre-Christmas. Passing in abundance, pretty football in abundance, cutting edge in, er, the opposite of abundance. All that was missing to complete the feeling of de ja vous was a big bald scouser prowling the technical area like a caged rhino.

We even had Carden wheeling out the Brabinator's old catchphrases. We "footballed them to death" apparently, and while that may well be true, it's no good if you don't score. For me the game is a good example of why we shouldn't reappoint Brabin as, without a Rendell-esque poacher, his tactics are seriously flawed. Playing with two attacking wingers means neither of the central midfielders are able to commit too far forward, and if you have strikers who either want to drop deep (Crow, Beesley, Phillips), or run the channels (Holroyd), there's never anyone in the box when we've got the ball in wide areas.

There wasn't much to report in the way of chances in a first half dominated by United. Willmott looked about our most dangerous player, linking well with the lively front pair of Beesley and Holroyd. The winger curled a shot just over the angle of post and bar, then set up Holroyd for an effort which drew a smart save from Stuart Tomlinson. We were also denied a fairly obvious looking penalty when Parky exchanged passes with Beesley and was pulled back in the box by a defender.

Referee Martin had earlier marked himself out as a pedantic knob by harshly booking Barrow's Jason Walker in the first couple of minutes for the cardinal crime of failing to retreating at a free kick. He further incensed the visitors when he sent off left back Sean Newton, who picked up a second yellow for rash challenge on Holroyd in the 52nd minute. It was a lunging tackle, but perhaps a talking to only would have been sufficient?

I only say that because United are shocking against ten men, and fell behind when Carlos Logan pinged in an excellent free kick from just outside the area. No chance Danny Potter, 1-0 to the dark side.

Reason and Gleeson shot over from distance, before Glees went one better, picking up a pass from Beesley and hitting a peach of a half volley which Tomlinson acrobatically pawed away. But all United's efforts were coming from outside the box, and you never got the feeling an equaliser was imminent.

With minutes remaining, Barrow wrapped up the match, when the busy Walker latched on to a long clearance, and tried to flick it over Josh Coulson. The ball struck the unfortunate defender on the his outstretched arm for a clear penalty, which Walker himself converted, rolling the ball past the diving Potter. 0-2.

A lot of people moaned about the referee after the game, and while he gave us virtually nothing in the second half, United were the architects of their own downfall. The sad thing is you could have probably predicted the way the game was going to go before kick off, and while we didn't play that badly, a new manager and fresh ideas are needed asap.

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Built on his excellent pre-season form with a faultless display.

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U's:0 Scousers:1

Everything seemed sparkly and new at the Abbey last night; new manager, new kit, new optimism about the forthcoming season.

There wasn't much new on the pitch though, with Martin Ling's amber army looking suspiciously like Paul Carden's amber army, and Gary Brabin's amber army before that; lots of possession, but no real cutting edge. The new manager will need to sort that out one way or another before the season starts.

Still, it was nice to hear some actual analysis of the game from our new gaffer, rather than the succession of ers and cliches we'd come to expect from his predecessor.

"I spoke to them about being a passing team and that was really the one comment I made before the game, but I think one or two of the players took me a bit too literally," noted the new man, and it's true that in the first half over-elaboration was the name of the game, with passes going back and forth across the pitch to no great effect. The back eight (for want of a better phrase) were also far too deep, meaning that, although Bees and Crow held the ball up fairly well, they had little support and didn't work the visiting keeper.

Liverpool's expensively assembled collection of European teenagers could have been out of sight by half time but for some wayward finishing and good goalkeeping from Danny Potter. An error by Rory MacAuley in the second minute gave lanky manchild Jordy Brouwer a clear run on goal, but Pottsy saved well with his legs. The same player then rattled the post when it seemed easier to score, following up an Andras Simon shot that had also been well saved.

United were better after the break, thanks in part to substitutions which saw Holroyd inject some pace up front, and the Pittster make a welcome return to the left flank. Courtney entered the field with the grin of a cheshire cat enjoying its ninth life, and immediately gave the team a bit more balance and energy. We all know that a fully focussed Pitt is an asset to the squad, so hopefully Ling will be able to get the best out of him if he stays.

Anyway, yeah, United could've taken the lead in a 20-minute purple patch at the start of the half, which saw Beesley shoot inches wide, then fire a 25-yarder just over. But once Carden and Reason departed to the bench, we lost our grip on the game, and Liverpool resumed control. The only goal was absolute peach of a free kick, struck from just outside the box by Gerado Bruner. His curling effort initially looked to be too high, but had wicked dip on it and fizzed over Potter into the net. You can only admire such technique really. 1-0.

After that the Scousers hit the post, and Potter made a couple more good saves, before Glees strode forward and unleashed a rocket which Liverpool's substitute stopper Martin Hansen palmed away at full stretch. This proved to be our last attack of note in the match, and 1-0 it finished.

United didn't play particularly badly, and the defence is looking better with every passing game. But the nagging doubts about our forward line remain, and while all five strikers in the squad are quality players, we need one of them to become the proverbial fox-in-the-box if we're to sustain a promotion challenge.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - A busy evening for United's number one, who was only beaten by a special goal.





Day trippers of the Match: The huge party of American students that filled the Habbin, all of whom brought at least one disgusting, overpriced, hot dog. I'm sure it was profitable night at the tea bars.

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U's:0 Rovers:4

I know inflation is an unavoidable problem in these credit-crunched times, but prices are spiralling dangerously out of control.

For example, when did chocolate become so expensive? You can't get any normal sized bar in Royston's WH Smith store (here at U's Blog we're not afraid to name and shame) for less than 65p, it's ridiculous.

The same issues are apparently afflicting football matches. I paid £15 to watch United play Blackburn on Tuesday night. £15! For a friendly! It seemed like a good idea at the time, but after about 20 minutes of "action" I was seriously questioning my sanity.

It would have been ok if Rovers had a few star names in their line up, but the only faces I recognised from their first half team were skipper Craig Nelson and everyone's favourite spitting llama, El Hadji Diouf. The latter went up in my estimation by taking the wind up attempts of the Habbin in good humour, even displaying his freakishly large tongue on one occasion.

From what I remember United played alright for about 20 minutes. Parky made a couple of sprightly bursts down the right, and Phillips looked his usual busy self upfront, but twice got into good positions before shooting weakly at the keeper. Generally our attacking play wasn't especially threatening, with neither of the central midfielders, Reason and Farrell, straying beyond the half way line very much. The absence of Carden, confined to the dug out, was keenly felt.

Rovers on the other hand looked dangerous every time they got near our box. Their opening goal was a bit fortunate, with Keith Andrews' free kick taking a deflection off the top of the wall and wrong footing Danny Potter. The second came via a defensive cock up, with Reason, Coulson and Hatswell contriving to present the ball to Diouf, who ran clear and slotted the ball into the net.

It was all change at half time for the visitors, who brought on an entirely new line up. United made several changes as well, and these only accentuated the gulf in class between the two sides. Jason Roberts got on the scoresheet twice with close range finishes following a couple of slick passing moves, while United didn't really have an effort on goal of note, aside from a Reason corner which nearly dipped straight in under the crossbar. Some light entertainment was provided by Blackburn's Jason Brown, usually a keeper but pressed into service on the right wing after another player went off injured. He was cheered by the travelling fans every time he touched the ball, and rewarded them with a bit of Ronaldo-esque showboating.

So yeah, for a lot of the match we looked ponderous and ineffective, and while much of this is probably down to the fact that we were up against far superior opposition, you have to worry about the depth of our squad. All we've got on the bench at the moment are kids, and as talented as they may be, our team is going to end up looking very lightweight if we have to chuck too many of them in at once. Best cross our fingers for a relatively injury-free season.

Man of the Match: Jai Reason - Tried his best to keep a grip on midfield.







Muppet of the Match: The tannoy man, for turning a simple announcement about raffle tickets into a 20 minute monologue.

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Lilywhites:2 U's:2

It may seem like a million years ago, but we actually played a football match on Saturday.

What turned out to be the Brabinator's swansong ended in a vaguely entertaining draw, with City once again looking impressive under the tutelage of Gary Roberts. If they can keep their players fit, they'll surely have another tilt at promotion from the newly named Zamaretto League.

For United the future is less certain after yesterday's events. Looking back, the starting line up was certainly one that screamed managerial defiance, with Holroyd on the left wing and world player of the year-elect Daryl McMahon on the right. The obvious flaw in this plan is that McMahon's right foot is strictly for standing on only, which meant time and time again he got the ball in space, only to check back and cross from deep, rather than surging on to the byline.

City scored first through ex-U Ashley Fuller. A quick counter attack following a United corner saw Antonio Murray feed Steve Gentle, whose cross was emphatically finished by Fuller from just outside the box. 1-0.

At the back for United, trialist Rhys Day looked like the kind of cool, commanding presence we could do with to replace Bolly, although if he has any sense he'll be getting his agent to seek out alternative employment as I type. He was certainly more impressive than Hatswell, who seems to treat pre-season friendlies with the contempt of a man who'd rather have stayed on the beach for a couple more weeks. Hats looked decidedly dodgy on a number of occasions, but I'm sure he'll pull his socks up before the season starts.

United equalised from the unlikely source of Gleeson, who went on a Carlo Alberto-esque overlapping run, playing a quick give and go with McMahon and slipping the ball past City keeper Zac Barratt from close range. 1-1 at half time should've been 2-1 to the home side, but another former United man, Dave Theobold, missed a simple headed chance at the far post just before the whistle.

Murray hardly stuck out like a player who should be at a higher level, and missed a simple chance in the second half when he got free of his marker but glanced a header wide. He made no mistake moments later though, after Josh Coulson got in a muddle and gifted him the ball in the box in front of goal. No chance Potter, 2-1.

Danny Crow was one of many United substitutes, and if his performance is anything to go by he has (unfortunately) not changed much since last season; lots of nice touches in the build up but no end product. He was denied by Barratt from close range after being set up by Carden, and could've won the match but headed a Parky cross wide with the goal gaping. There is definitely a good player in there somewhere, but if he doesn't improve his finishing I doubt he'll last long under the new regime.

In between times a more deadly striker, Holroyd, had equalised. Again it stemmed from good work by Gleeson, who reacted quickly when a Sam Ives shot was blocked, and sent over a low cross which super Chris tapped in from three yards.

I guess any conclusions that could've been drawn from the match are now null and void. It will be interesting to see how we line up against Blackburn tonight, with Cardy presumably having taken the reigns. You would imagine a few prospective managers will be in the stands as well, crowd watching could be more interesting than the match itself.

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Scored one, made another, and generally looked solid. If we don't sign another centre half, I reckon he'd do a job there too.





Banter of the Match: Day to Gleeson during the second half - "I feel like I've had five heart attacks". Pre-season fitness levels are obviously high for our prospective new number five.

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