Wednesday 28 November 2007

AOB: Football Chairmen are stupid: Part 2

Just to briefly get back on my high horse about idiotic chairmen, I will now add Derby’s new supremo, Adam Pearson, to my list.

The Rams did have one of the countries best up and coming managers in Billy Davies (pictured). His success at Motherwell, Preston, and obviously Derby, probably indicate he’s a fairly competent bloke. However, he’s been given the boot because, rather unsurprisingly, Derby are getting tonked by all and sundry in the Premiership and look set for a swift return from whence they came.

I wonder why that is? Could it be because Davies created a team that was greater than the sum of its parts, and now finds itself a bit out of its depth? I struggle to believe Mourinho, Wenger, or indeed new man Paul Jewell would be able to keep a squad containing great footballing luminaries like Andy Todd, Eddie Lewis, and Claude Davis in the top division.

I have nothing against Jewell, and hope he succeeds at Pride Park, but it seems to me the Derby board are indulging in a change akin to shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic. One only has to look at Watford, now storming away at the top of the Championship after getting relegated last year, to realise that sometimes it’s necessary to take one step back before moving forward again. The Hornets, under the guidance of Adie Boothroyd, probably got promoted quicker than they thought they would, but with a years’ experience, and armed with their hefty parachute payment, are now better set to make a go of things in the big league if they are promoted again.

Derby would have been well advised to follow suit. While Jewell is a competent manager with a good record, the inevitable changes a new appointment brings could set their club back another year or two.

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Tuesday 27 November 2007

Brewers:1 U's:2

This season is beginning to shape up rather well. United’s umpteenth 2-1 win of the campaign so far put pay to another of our promotion rivals, Burton Albion, on a freezing Friday night in Derbyshire.

As befits one of the newest grounds in the Conference, facilities at Burton’s Pirelli Stadium are pretty good. Despite not being particularly pleasing on the eye (too many breezeblocks for my liking) it would certainly not look out of place a league or two higher up the pyramid.

It wasn’t until United took to the pitch just before kick off that I realised we had a new player in the line up. It was a throwback to the pre-website days of my youth when, if a player was signed after the CEN’s deadline, you wouldn’t know anything about it until the match started.
Luckily we have those new-fangled squad numbers now, meaning it was easy enough to deduce that the new man was Paul Carden, ex-scum captain and one time Burton loanee. He replaced Daryl Knights in midfield, while Dan Gleeson returned at the expense of Courtney Pitt, with Stephen Reed switching from right to left. A final change saw Mark Albrighton make a welcome return in defence, with Gavin Hoyte dropping to the bench.

Without Pitt and Knights, United looked short of creativity going forward during an evenly matched first half. Burton (or, to give them their full name, Nigel Clough’s Burton Albion) took the lead in the 17th minute from pretty much their first attack. Aaron Webster threaded a pass between Albrighton and Gleeson for Keith Gilroy, who got to the byline and cut the ball back for Shaun Harrad to sidefoot past Potter from 12 yards.

Up to this point United had enjoyed most of the possession, but the goal seemed to spur Burton on, and Potter had to be on his mettle again to finger tip a Greaves header over. The problems were all coming down the right, where Convery was providing little cover for Gleeson, meaning Webster had pretty much a free reign to roam forward and double up with Gilroy on the beleaguered wing back. All the U’s could muster in response were long range efforts from Boylan and Convery, neither of which unduly concerned veteran Albion stopper Kevin Poole.

Apparently JQ ‘took the roof off the dressing room’ at half time, a staggering feat even for a man of his stature. It had the desired effect, with the equaliser coming five minutes after the restart. Greaves fouled Rendell about 30 yards from goal. The resulting free kick was rolled across to Reed, whose shot flicked off the head of Webster and past the wrong-footed Poole into the net.

The comeback kings had done it again, but Burton were never going to lay down and die, and shortly after the goal Potter made a terrific double save, parrying a Daryl Clare shot then somehow clawing away Harrad’s rebound effort. John McGrath also went close before the games turning point came in the 64th minute.

Clare and Mark Peters had been enjoying a running battle all match, and when the two players went up to challenge for a high ball, the prolific striker felled the big Welshman with a stray elbow. Referee Scott deemed this deliberate, and flourished a red card. From the opposite end of the pitch it was hard to tell whether this was pre-meditated or not, but the referee was in a great position to make his decision. Needless to say Burton were not amused.

And the home sides misery was compounded moments later when Scotty Rendell bagged what turned out to be the winning goal. Just before the sending off, JQ had made a double change, introducing Lemu and Pitt for Boylan and Convery. The Pittster made an immediate impact, skipping away from Andy Corbett and putting in a wonderful low cross which Rendell tapped in from about two yards.

Young Nigel threw Darren Stride on as an emergency striker, but despite winning a number of corners and free kicks, the ten men failed to test Potter again, and on the break United could and should have added to their tally. Wolleaston, who had a quiet game by his recent high standards, flashed a low shot wide, before setting up LFW for a glorious chance from six yards which he hit straight at the keeper. Right at the death big Leo created another opportunity for himself with a clever turn, but Poole was equal to his shot, parrying it away to safety.

Again, I don’t think United were at their best, but this team is so resilient that they seem to be able to get the right result regardless of performance level. We’ve now beaten every other team in the top five, and with a few scorelines going our way at the weekend, gaps are beginning to open up. For example there are now a comfortable nine points between us and the village idiots in 7th. Happy Days.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter – Lived up to his billing as one of the top keepers in the league with a series of excellent saves.







Disappointment of the Match: Burton doesn’t smell of marmite. Despite reports to the contrary, there wasn’t even the faintest aroma of tasty yeast extract-based spread in the air on Friday.

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Wednesday 21 November 2007

AOB: Darts of Pleasure

There are plenty of sports that, in this blogs view, don’t really belong in the Olympics. Synchronised swimming, ice dancing, and in fact anything else where a panel of judges pick the winner should be struck from the competition forthwith.

Top of our list to replace any of these would be Darts. While one may question the validity of a ‘sport’ where you can become world champion despite weighing over 30 stone and knocking back 25 bottles of beer a day (hello Andy ‘The Viking’ Fordham, more of whom later), we challenge anyone to watch a top Darts match and not become a fan.

At the moment, terrestrial TV viewers can catch a rare glimpse of the PDC pool of players in the Grand Slam of Darts, which is being screened on ITV. For those not in the know, Darts players have been split in two (not literally, although some of them are so big that they could probably get away with it) since the early 90’s – those affiliated to the British Darts Organisation (BDO) compete for one world championship (screened on the BBC), and those signed up to the Professional Darts Corporation (PDC) do battle in another (on Sky).

The grand slam was meant to bring everyone together to find out who is top of the tree, but in reality it is mostly PDC players with a few BDO’ers tagged on. Nevertheless, it has been an interesting tournament so far, and with the knock out stages getting underway tonight the action at the oche should be cranked up a notch. 13 time world champion Phil 'the Power' Taylor, and current champ Raymond van Barneveld are the bookies favourites, although this blog tips another Dutchman, Roland Scholten (pictured), for glory.

A number of factors combine to make darts magic: There are the players themselves, who give hope to fat blokes everywhere that a career as a professional sportsman is still not quite out of reach. There are the, ahem, interesting wives and girlfriends (DWAGS?), who are always referred to by commentators Sid Waddell and Tony Green as ‘lovely’, even if they are in fact a tattooed horror from Rotherham. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there is the tension that Darts creates. As far as this blog is concerned there is no other sport where success and failure are so finely balanced. A player can be seemingly cruising to victory, only for one missed double or a big check out from the opponent to completely turn the match on its head. This element of total unpredictability makes Darts one of the most compelling spectator sports around.

So yeah, watch the end of the Grand Slam, get hooked, then start counting the days until the World Championships in January. Fordham, now 10 stone lighter after having 18 litres of fluid drained from his lungs, is planning a comeback….

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Monday 19 November 2007

U's:2 Trickies:1

There haven’t been many instantly forgettable matches at the Abbey this season, but this was certainly one of them.

Although United’s performance wouldn’t really register on the Crap-o-meter when compared to some of last years displays, they still made heavy weather of dispensing of a hard working but dire Northwich side.

Still, three points is three points, and United were significantly under strength, minus the steadying influence of Albrighton (injured) at the heart of the back three, and the frolicking figure of Gleeson (suspended) on the right flank.

The first half was fairly uneventful. As this blog predicted on Friday, Stephen Reed tried his best out of position on the right, but his reluctance to use his right foot meant our attacking options down that side were virtually non-existent. Mark Convery returned from injury in the centre of the park, and looked off the pace throughout, choosing to launch hopeful balls forward rather than use the excellent football brain we’re told he possesses.

With Daryl Knights largely anonymous, it was left to Rob Wolleaston to once again get things moving. And it was he who created the opening goal, making an excellent diagonal run to latch onto Knights’ through ball. Advancing into the box, he sent a low cross to the far post where Rendell slid in to net his 12th of the season.

The young striker should have added a second shortly afterwards, but he somehow fired over when another Wolly centre found him two yards out with the goal gaping. If you weren’t there you’ll have to believe me when I say it was worse than Joel Grant’s miss for Aldershot last week. Never mind though, United were in the ascendancy now, and Northwich had done nothing to suggest that they might improve on their away record of no wins, no draws, and nine defeats.

But within a minute of the start of the second half, the Trickies had levelled. A straightforward long ball dissected our square looking backline, and tubby ex-U’s target Lee Steele ran through to slot past Potter, despite a desperate last ditch lunge from Morro.

To be honest it was no more than lethargic United deserved, and they continued to gift possession to the visitors, who fortunately were too inept to take advantage. United’s best chance to regain the lead fell to Lee Boylan, who found space in the box to meet Pitt’s cross but could only guide his header over the bar.

With time ticking away, JQ made a double substitution, introducing LFW and Robbie Willmott for Knights and Convery. And, not for the first time this season, the change paid almost immediate dividends. Willmott possesses electric pace, and he gave us an immediate taste of what was to come with an electrifying run which took him past three players before he was tackled.

Three minutes later, he picked up the ball wide on the right, left his marker for dead and fired in a wonderful cross which Rendell headed in from close range.

United looked more like their usual selves now, and could’ve sealed the win in the closing stages as Northwich pushed forward in search of an equaliser. First Willmott ran through on goal but, with Tynan at his mercy, seemingly couldn’t decide whether to take an early shot or go round the keeper. Eventually he did neither, and skied the ball high over the Newmarket Road End. Despite this one suspects his first United goal isn’t too far away.

Then great skill from Boylan on half way sent him scampering clear. But with LFW unmarked in the centre screaming for a pass, Boylan decided to shoot himself, and was denied by a great save from Tynan. Suffice to say the big Lemu was not amused.

JQ said in his post-match comments that we were playing with fear, and I think that’s probably true. Northwich were there for the taking and it’s a shame we couldn’t put on a better performance in front of what was our biggest crowd of the season. But of course getting the result was the most important thing, and with a couple of the absentee’s back in the fold we will hopefully be a different proposition at the Pirelli Stadium on Friday night.

Man of the Match: Rob Wolleaston – Another top class performance from our one man midfield.

Moaner of the Match: Northwich Manager Dino Maamria – Dirty Deano, so dubbed becuase of his suspect disciplinary record at Stevenage, should perhaps have his name changed to Deluded Deano given the nature of his post match comments.

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Friday 16 November 2007

Northwich

Before last weeks game with Aldershot I was feeling uncharacteristically positive. Now, looking ahead to Northwich, I'm back to my usual state of reticentness.

We should win tomorrow, there's no doubt about it. The trickies (great nickname innit) are pointless on their travels so far and will be missing their best player, Michael Carr, through suspension. But past experience tells us that United are specialists at losing these unloseable games.

But this years squad are made of sterner stuff than most, so I suppose I should have a bit more faith. It will be interesting to see how we cope without Albrighton (whose absence was conspicuous in the Halifax game he missed through suspension) and Gleeson. Gleese (pictured) has been coming in for a bit of stick lately, but for me he is still one of our most consistent performers. If he has had a dip in form recently it's probably because he's about the only player in our squad not to have a rest so far this season.


Reedy will no doubt do his best filling in tomorrow, but I do wonder whether it's a great idea to have a player who thinks his right foot is for standing on only to be playing at right back. Not that there is a long list of other candidates waiting to take his place of course. It's also a bit disappointing to see that Yeovil are considering recalling Daryl Knights due to injuries. Obviously it's their prerogative to do so, but our attacking prowess would be significantly lessened without him. Maybe we could send them Chilli instead and hope they don't notice...

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Wednesday 14 November 2007

AOB: The other villains of the MyFootballClub farce

There have already been a myriad of articles penned on yesterday’s news that the website MyFootballClub is to purchase our BSP rivals Ebbsfleet.

Criticism has so far been lain at the feet of the Ebbsfleet board (although one shouldn’t be surprised that a group of directors who thought it was ok to change their clubs name to that of a railway station has been seduced by this scheme), Will Brooks, the mastermind (sic) of MyFC, and of course the people who have paid £35 for a little piece of Medway that they can call their own.

Personally the only good thing I can see that came out of yesterday’s announcement is that they haven’t tried to buy the Mighty U’s. That the half witted chief of the PFA, Gordon Taylor, approves of MyFC (“The PFA appreciates clubs becoming closer to supporters and that is what this takeover is about,” he said yesterday, missing the point in spectacular fashion) should tell you all you need to know about this farce.

However, one set of buffoons who seem to be getting away from this whole debacle scot-free are those who control this wonderful division we share with Ebbsfleet: The Conference board.

Over the last few years this lot have proved time and time again that there is no end to their ineptitude: Their failure to deal adequately with Crawley’s repeated flouting of the rules; the seemingly random issuing of points and financial deductions; the ridiculous TV deal with Setanta which sees live matches scheduled (and unscheduled) with about half an hours notice. Now they appear to be letting the fact that a bunch of random’s are taking over one of their clubs and plan to run it like an audition for the X-Factor pass without a murmur of caution.


The Conference likes to boast that it is effectively a Fifth division of the Football League. But while it conducts its business in such an amateur fashion nothing can be further from the truth. The MyFC idea has more holes in it than your average fishing net, and it saddens me a bit that we are in a league where a) people even give things like this the time of day, and b) that they are allowed to do so by the powers that be. The sooner we get back to the relative paradise that is League Two the better.

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Monday 12 November 2007

U's:2 Shots:1

For once it was quite nice to watch an FA cup draw safe in the knowledge that we were definitely in the hat. Despite my initial disappointment at not getting Boro/Leeds/Forest, Weymouth is probably as good a tie as we could hope for when it comes to our chances of progressing to round three.

We are through to Round Two, and that home match with Weymouth, thanks to our best all around performance of the season, and no thanks to the incompetent refereeing of Gary Sutton.

Mr Sutton was ‘asked’ to step down from refereeing football league matches at the end of last season, presumably due to the kind of bizarre decision making we saw exhibited on Saturday. The stupidity of the FA when it comes to refs never ceases to amaze me: we play by the same rules in the Conference as they do in the league, so if the guy is crap then why do we have to put up with him? If he’s not good enough then he shouldn’t be refereeing at all until he’s had a spell on the sidelines watching others and learning how to be better. That may sound a bit harsh, but his shoddiness could have cost us £16,000 and a potential money-spinning third round match.

But it didn’t, so I’ll move on. It can’t be a coincidence that our recent return to winning ways has come since JQ stopped messing around with the team. The only change from the win at Torquay saw Danny Potter make a swift and welcome comeback in goal, in place of Luke McShane.

Aldershot are probably the best team we’ve played this season, and it was a relief to see top scorer John Grant, and Lewis Chalmers, he of the enormous throw, warming the bench. They did still have our nemesis of recent seasons, Nikki Bull, between the posts, and he frustrated both Wolleaston and Boylan early on with decent saves, while Daryl Knights also had a shot deflected behind.

United were making all the early running, but were dealt a blow when a clash between Albrighton, Peters, and Shots striker Joel Grant saw the U’s skipper collapse in a heap. He was stretchered off with what looked like a nasty injury, but thankfully turns out to have ‘only’ been a deep cut which required stitches. The imposing figure of Gavin Hoyte was his replacement.

We could have taken the lead shortly after this when enterprising play from Gleeson on the right saw him put in a low cross to Knights. His shot looked to be heading for the top corner before the faintest of touches from Bull deflected it onto the bar.

At this point one began to wonder whether it was going to be one of those days, as Boylan glanced a header wide and a long range Morrison blast was tipped over by Bull. Mr Sutton then decided it was time the crowd paid him some attention, and booked Wolleaston for a dive in the box when he went down under challenge from Straker. Penalty of not (it was hard to tell from where I was standing), there was certainly contact which caused Wolly to go over, so to book him for taking a fall seemed a trifle harsh to say the least.

The Shots hadn’t offered much going forward thus far, but went in front with their first shot on target. Grant flicked a long ball into the path of Johnny Dixon, who was being played onside by Morro as his defensive colleagues pushed up. The striker ran through and confidently beat Potter from just inside the box.

Although the goal was against the run of play, the visitors nearly added a second in the early minutes of the second half, with Grant missing a decent chance from just outside the box. United were soon back on the offensive though, with Reed trying his luck from distance and forcing another decent save from that man Bull. Boylan then shot tamely at the keeper with Pitt screaming for a pass unmarked to his left, but the ex-Canvey man came up trumps moments later with his third goal in successive games.

Knights was the creator, muscling Straker off the ball on the United right, and chipping in a cross which found Boylan leaping like a spring-heeled salmon between two towering defenders to nod into the net. 1-1.

The officials now seemed to be having a contest to see who could give the strangest decision. The lino on the main stand side somehow managed to flag Reed offside after an Aldershot defender headed the ball off his own line and back towards our goal (work that one out) before the referee went one better. Under pressure from Wolly, Shots sub Anthony Charles committed a clear handball in the box. Good old Mr Sutton put his whistle to his lips, pointed to the penalty spot, and, er, waved play on.

Both teams were as bemused as the crowd, and Charles stood with the ball at his feet for a couple of seconds before gratefully booting it to safety. Bull then denied Knights and Rendell, before John Grant, on as sub, shot over when well placed.

Boylan almost scored a brilliant second, exploiting some indecision from Rhys Day to nip in and flick the ball just wide with the outside of his boot. The excellent Bull then turned a dipping shot from Pitt over the cross bar, as United pressed for a second goal.

With both teams beginning to tire, JQ sent on Lemu Fortune-West in place of Rendell, who had led the line superbly despite not adding to his goal tally. This proved to be an inspired change, as with his first touch LFW profited from Bull’s first error of the day to score the winner. Reed launched a free kick into the area, and the keeper inexplicably dashed off his line to try and punch clear but got nowhere near the ball, allowing Leo to snaffle up the loose ball and trickle it into the empty net, despite the diving efforts of defender Rob Gier. The big man looked the happiest I’ve ever seen him when celebrating the goal, as he milked the applause from the ecstatic Newmarket Road End.

Chalmers was on the pitch for Aldershot now, and launching his exocet-like throws into the area at every opportunity. To their credit United’s defence coped manfully, although they were let off the hook in spectacular fashion by Joel Grant. A rare error from Peters saw him swing and miss the ball completely allowing John Grant to race into the area and cross for his namesake Joel. With Potter stranded, and just one covering defender on the line, Grant somehow managed to screw his shot across the goal and wide.

3000 Cantabridgian’s breathed a sigh of relief, and moments later the final whistle confirmed our place in the second round. Before the end Scott Davies managed to find time to get a red card for throwing the ball at Courtney as the little wingback lay prone on the ground. The silly boy.

Aside from the goal I can’t remember Aldershot troubling Potter, which is probably an indication of our dominance of the match. We seem to have got over the little sticky spell we had last month, and with Boylan, Knights and Rendell providing a dynamic cutting edge to our attack, one would hope we can make it four victories in a row when winless Northwich come to the Abbey next weekend.

Man of the Match: Daryl Knights – It was one of those days where any of the players would have made worthy choices for MOM, but Knights, who was at the heart of much of our excellent attacking play, just shaded it for me. I look forward to his loan (hopefully) being extended.







Clown of the Match: Take a bow Gary Sutton. Actually don’t: Instead go away and promise not to come back until you’ve familiarised yourself with the rules of football. And take that Nigel Winterburn look-a-like linesman with you.

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Wednesday 7 November 2007

AOB: Football Chairmen are stupid

I don’t mean our own Lee Power of course. He’s great, in a kind of shouty mockney wide-boy way.

I’m talking about the one’s who, when faced with a managerial vacancy, think: “I know, the best solution is to appoint the previous managers assistant/coach/tea lady, they’ll just pick up where their old boss left off.”

Seriously, what is up with these people? When has that ever worked? I mean, obviously there are some coaches have made the transition successfully (Nigel Adkins at Scunthorpe is a good example) but more often than not it all ends in tears. When Wigan promoted Chris Hutchings in the summer, how many football fans didn’t think that he’d be sacked before Christmas? Ditto Sammy Lee (pictured) at Bolton?

The people who appointed them have, predictably, wasted half a season of their clubs time and money, and left their new managers with a mountain to climb, when they could have just appointed a proper manager in the first place. You can’t expect someone with no managerial experience to go in at the highest level and be an instant success, it’s not realistic.

The idiot Phil Gartside has now compounded one terrible decision with another by replacing Lee with Gary Megson. That consistent failures like Megson (who as far as I can make out is living off one promotion he won ages ago with West Brom) and Bryan Robson (who is living off, er, I’ll get back to you on that one) continue to get jobs at big clubs is another mystery to me, and must be very frustrating for young managers trying to climb the ladder.

It was good to see Mark Stimpson and Lee Sinnott, both Conference managers until recently, get football league jobs last week, but one wonders whether their careers will progress any further while the big clubs continue to appoint the same old faces. Meanwhile, the favourites for the Wigan job are, naturally, Graeme Souness and Stuart Pearce. Quelle Surprise.

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Monday 5 November 2007

Gulls:1 U's:2

Once more, I have to bow to my better half’s superior football knowledge:

Her – We should go to Torquay at the weekend.

Me – Nah, it’ll cost loads, we’ll have to sit on the coach for about 12 hours, and we’re gonna get tonked.

Her – You’ll be surprised. I reckon we’ll go there and beat them.

Not that I’m unhappy to be wrong in this instance. An unexpected but great result for the boys again, one which should give our faltering promotion charge some renewed momentum. In a way it’s a shame we have to play a cup game next weekend - it would have been nice to take the confidence into a league match and build a little run of two or three wins on the bounce to cement our position in the play offs.

Also, fair play to JQ for playing three strikers against the leagues top scorers, when others (ie. me) would have been inclined to put in an extra midfielder. It was a bold move, but one which paid dividends.

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