Team of the decade

So soon it will be farewell to the noughties, a decade which has introduced us to the delights of Big Brother, Facebook, Lady Gaga, and a plethora of gadgets prefaced by the letter i.

But while it may have been a good time for social networking gurus and singers of indeterminate gender, the last ten years have not been a vintage period in the long and glorious history of Cambridge United.

Nevertheless, in between relegations, ground sales, Wembley failures, and a million managerial changes, a few talented players have donned the amber and black, so in their honour here is the U’s Blog team of the decade, lining up in a 3-5-2 formation.

Goalkeeper: Lionel Perez.
People seem to remember Perez as just being a bit of a clown, and while his many eccentricities were certainly a big part of his appeal, he was a top drawer keeper as well. Sadly a good goalie can only make a difference behind a decent defence, and while he kept us up virtually single-handedly in 2000/01, he could do nothing to stop our demise the following year. Shame that penalty against Tranmere didn’t go in.


Defender: Dan Gleeson.
One of our most consistent performers since he made his debut in back in 2003, Gleese certainly still has the potential to go on and play at a higher level. Hopefully that will be with United, and I can see him moving to centre half from his usual right back slot in the next couple of years.

Defender: Mark Peters.
Our team at the moment is crying out for a slightly younger version of Mark Peters. An unflappable presence in our first three seasons in the Conference, he could head a ball further than most mere mortals could kick it, and was the master of the tactical foul on the half way line to stop a promising opposition attack. Add to that his exploits between the sticks as emergency keeper, and you have a legendary figure.

Defender: Michael Morrison.
Another extremely consistent player, who looked at home in the first team from the moment he made his debut in 2005. Now fulfilling his undoubted potential in the Championship with Leicester City.

Right Wing: Shane Tudor.
Ok, so Tudor was a grumpy little git who had ideas above his station, and of course went off on that legendary rant about how rude the people of Cambridge are. But on the pitch you couldn’t really fault him, and in 2002/03 he was virtually unplayable as Shaggy’s swashbuckling team took Division Three by storm. Sadly injuries meant he was never the same after that, but he was one of few players to shine in the 2004/05 relegation season, netting some crucial goals including the last minute winner against Oxford.

Central Midfield: Luke Guttridge.
I never took to Guttridge at all, but like Tudor I’ll grudgingly admit he was quite good. His best year was 2003/04, when his goals were the only thing that kept us clear of a relegation battle in Division Three. Some unwise career choices since then have meant he probably won’t fulfil his promise, and I’m sure we were all secretly pleased when Danny Webb lamped him one in that game against Shrewsbury in 2004/05.

Central Midfield: Paul Wanless.
I said Perez kept us up single-handedly in 2001, but that’s a bit unfair on Wanny, whose goals also made a big difference. A last minute winner against his boyhood club Oxford was one of 11 strikes that season, and while injuries and his blatant dislike of John Beck hampered him in 2001/02, he played his part in 2002/03, memorably scoring an equaliser at Lincoln when United were down to nine men.

Central Midfield: Paul Carden.
A key player in both our failed promotion attempts, Cardy has been a bit less consistent this term, but remains one of the top midfielders in the Conference. Also deserves credit for the admirable diplomacy he showed after his best mate the Brabinator was given the boot in the summer.

Left Winger: Courtney Pitt.
As the only player to have featured in all five of our Conference seasons so far, Courts deserves to be in the team on the basis of his longevity alone. Capable of playing like Leo Messi one minute, Kingsley Mbome the next, he continues to divide opinions among U’s fans but would always be one of the first names on my team sheet.

Striker: Dave Kitson.
Bizarrely described as a “wandering gipsy” (is there any other kind?) by Paul Wanless in his LDV Vans final programme pen pictures, the ginger genius is probably the best striker I’ve seen play for United. Shame the move to Stoke hasn’t really worked out for him.




Striker: Scott Rendell.
In terms of haircuts, a Kitson/Rendell partnership would be a barber’s nightmare. Scotty isn’t a particularly good footballer, but his habit of finding space in the six yard box should be enough to help carve out a decent career, and you can’t really argue with his record of 30 goals in 55 league games for United. The best one was certainly the last – the winner against the Chavs in the play offs.

Subs: Danny Potter, Andy Duncan, Rob Wolleaston, Tom Youngs, Robbie Simpson.

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U's:2 Stags:1

Aren't last minute goals great?

There's nothing better than an injury time winner to send you home from a football match in a good mood. Conversely, there's nothing worse than going away and succumbing to a late strike. We've all been there, so it's hard not to feel a little bit sorry for the travelling Mansfield fans who were at last nights match. Only a little bit though.

United put in a display that the comeback kids of 2007/08 would have been proud of to see off the challenge of the swiftly improving Stags. Mansfield have been one of the divisions form sides since David Holdsworth took over just after Christmas, and if they continue to perform as they did last night they will surely be there or there abouts next season. Holdsworth's team play what is probably the ideal style for the Conference; strong, direct, and no-nonsense at the back, but fast and fluid in the final third. The only thing they lacked was a killer touch in front of goal, with neither Mark Stallard nor spot kick king Rob Duffy (pen) doing much in open play. The imminent arrival of everyones favourite camera licker, Daryl Clare, could make the difference in that department though.

The visitors were much the better side in the first, with United flagging, perhaps due to a combination of tiredness, and complacency following Saturday's excellent win. Danny Potter had to turn a free kick from pint size winger Ryan Williams onto the crossbar after it deflected off Hatswell, and from the resulting corner it took a good block from a United defender to thwart Scott Gardner, whose shot from 12 yards appeared to be goalbound.

Too many passes were going astray from a United perspective, and our best moments of the half both came from set pieces, with Rendell turning well but seeing a shot blocked after latching onto a Hatswell free kick, and Willmott heading wide from a Pitt corner.

But just as it looked like United were getting a foothold in the match, Mansfield scored. The referee, who seemed set on compensating for Williams' lack of height by giving him loads of free kicks, awarded another soft one near the left touchline. The winger's cross was a good one, whipped in towards the far post, where Duffy (pen) swooped to head past Potter. He seemed to quite enjoy the goal, and received an inevitable booking for his over-zealous celebration in front of the NRE.

At this time we appeared to be in some trouble, but this team seems to have forgotten how to lose at the moment, and came out for the second half in much more purposeful mood. And as against Burton, our purpose was rewarded with an early goal. Just four minutes of the half had elapsed when a nice move involving Carden and Gleeson saw the ball passed out to Willmott. He cut inside and stood up a tempting cross which a suspiciously offside looking Rendell nodded past Alan Marriott. To misquote Girls Aloud, he's just a goal machine. 1-1.

Now it was all United, with Marriott saving well from Hatswell, and seeing a Rendell volley fly wide. The Stags still looked dangerous on the break, and Nathan Arnold almost scored goal of the season when he ran from the edge of his own box, swapped passes with Jonathan D'Layrea, but shot just wide. But their attacks were becoming fewer and further between, and Reason gave us a taste of what was to come when he volleyed narrowly wide from the edge of the box.

Chris Holroyd, who put in another lively stint up front, was forced to leave the pitch with a bloody nose moments later after taking a blow to the face; hopefully there's no permanent damage done to his boyish good looks. He was replaced by the returning Parky, who came close to a goal when he met Courtney Pitt's cross only to be denied by a lunging block from Paul Mayo.

At this stage the game looked set to end in amber frustration, with Marriott pulling off a great stop to foil Reason's blast, and Rendell just failing to connect properly with a knock down from sub Danny Crow.

But as we entered the third minute of stoppage time, the Ipswich loanee saw another shot deflected behind for a corner. Carden curled the flag kick into the back post, Hats nodded the ball back into the danger zone and Reason raced in to flick the ball past Marriott. Wooooooooo, 2-1.

At almost the exact same moment somewhere in the frozen north, Barrow's Mark Boyd was scoring a wondergoal to sink Histon, a result which made our win even sweeter. With the gap between ourselves and Burton now down to a not-that-big-actually seven points, it will be interesting to see how the Brewers react tonight at Ebbsfleet. They're not really under pressure yet, but if they drop points in their upcoming fixtures against some of the divisions lesser lights, that glimmer of hope which the Brabinator is clinging onto might start to get a bit bigger. Bounce bounce!

Man of the Match: Scott Rendell - After looking off-colour on Saturday, Scotty was back to his best last night, linking play brilliantly and netting the all important equaliser.

Crap celebration of the Match: Although I don't approve of kill-joy ref's carding players for their goal celebrations, Duffy (pen)'s star jumping effort probably deserved a yellow for rubbishness alone.

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The third coming of Rendell

Apparently today is "Blue Monday". That's the most miserable day of the year, not the New Order memorial day, if you were wondering.

It began as a blue Monday for Scott Rendell, but ended as a yellow and black one, and we all know that it's much better to be yellow and black than blue.

"This is well run club that likes to do things properly," said the Brabinator, presumably while supressing a smirk. "It's great that the board have pushed the boat out to back me and bring Scott Rendell back in."

I'm not so sure myself. Part of me thinks a well run club would just operate within it's budget and not push the boat out on one player, but there you go. At least no one, least of all the Brabinator, can accuse the directors of not putting their money where their mouth is if we don't get promoted.

And I don't think any United fan could say they're sad to have Rendell's proven goal-getting abilities back in the squad. It does pose our leader an interesting selection dilemma for Thursday's game; does he stick with the front three who performed so well in the last match, or does he restore the man who has seven goals in nine games?

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Rendell shambles

Anyone hear the sounds of gunshots in the Newmarket Road area earlier? Apparently it was our boards latest attempt to shoot themselves in the foot. Reports that they initially gave the gun to Danny Crow, whose shot missed the foot and instead hit a passing pigeon, have yet to be confirmed.

I'm finding the sheer ridiculousness of Scotty's return to the Scummers difficult to comprehend. First off I should say that there's no way we should be paying a potential £50,000 (plus his hefty wages) for a loan player, however good he is, so in that sense the board have done the right thing.

I can only hope that Fry has moved the goalposts at the last minute, but even if that is true, then why announce the deal before it's finalised? Given the wording of the statement, I'd be more inclined to think the board have agreed to the transfer, and announced the deal, before reading the small print and getting cold feet. If this is the case, then WHY ANNOUNCE THE DEAL BEFORE IT'S FINALISED? After all the various faux-pas' in the summer, I thought George Rolls was beginning to learn to think before he speaks in public, but it appears we will continue to lurch from one PR shambles to another under this current regime. It amazes me that they can make such a pigs ear out of seemingly elementary things like whether a transfer has happened or not, I'm really, really cross.

Never mind though, with the temperatures set to remain sub-zero for the rest of this week (I spoke to a weatherman yesterday so I know these things) I'd say the chances of Saturday's game being on are remote at best, meaning the Brabinator has an extra week to find a Rendell replacement. I'm sure he won't have any trouble, after all cheap yet prolific strikers are easy to come by, ho hum.

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The great Christmas points give-away

What sort of firm makes its staff work on New Year's eve? Mean spirited buffoons like my employers, that's who. My (ordinarily low) motivation levels are feeling particularly drained today.

As I was away over Christmas I don't really have any strong views about the Histon and Stevenage games, other than that it appears to have been a needless waste of four points. Dodgy penalty decisions or not (someone told me yesterday that Bridgo's theatrical tumble in Sunday's game was "one of the worst penalty decisions I've ever seen") it sounds as if we had enough chances to put both games to bed, and indeed you would usually expect our miserly defence to be reliable in those situations.

You may have gathered from reading my posts that I've always been fairly optimistic about our chances of promotion, but even I'm beginning to worry that this team is lacking what is required to go up. We seem to be short of mental toughness, and whether this comes from the management or the make up of the side I don't know. Managing to hold onto Rendell is obviously a massive step in the right direction, and we can only hope that the rumours of Hatswell's departure prove to be unfounded. With Bolland almost certainly on his way out, it would be a big blow to lose our most consistant player of the year so far as well.

We can perhaps take heart from the example of Exeter, who at this time last year were sitting eighth in the table, with many supporters questioning the future of manager Paul Tisdale. For us to enjoy a similarly glorious conclusion to the season, the Brabinator will need to get a bit extra out of our talented but currently underperforming squad. Whether he is capable of doing this or not may well be the making of him as a manager.

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Barry Bull$**t strikes again?

Times must be hard over at Bridge Road.

I visited my local Budgens tonight and was greeted by a mob of youths wearing Histon FC tracksuits, who were offering to pack your shopping in exchange for chucking a few coins into their buckets. I'm all for novel ways of boosting your kitty ahead of the opening of the transfer window, but employing children is taking things a step too far if you ask me.*

Anyway, onto our real rivals, and the latest episode in the battle of the bullshitters between Barry Fry and George Rolls. Sunday's NLP regurgitated a load of stuff we already knew Re: the phantom offer for Rendell, but there was one interesting quote in amongst the usual bluster from Fry:

"George made on offer of £100,000 which my chairman rubberstamped on Sunday," revealed everyones favourite chirpy cockney character. Funny that when, two weeks before, it was widely reported that P*sh had quoted a price of £120,000 to secure Scotty's services. If the required figure has already dropped £20,000 before the transfer window is even open, I'd advise that George returns at the end of January and makes an offer of 50p - he might have a bit more success.

*This is a joke. They were probably collecting for a worthwhile cause of charity. Or Gareth Baldwin's holiday fund.

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What Scotty did next

Oh, what you gonna do, Sco-tty? You're a sweet sweet, er, boy, and it's a cruel cruel (footballing) world, a cruel a cruel world.

Yes, it seems the future of our current goal-getter in chief, Scott Rendell, is about as clear as a particularly muddy section of Histon's pitch. Where he will be plying his trade post-January 1 depends on who exactly you wish to believe.

Personally I like the Brabinator's version of things: "The ball is rolling in terms of negotiations with Scott," squeaked our leader. "When January comes and it's D-Day we'll be fighting tooth and nail to keep him at the club. He desperately wants to stay, we're desperate to keep him, he's enjoying his football again".

It's not usually like George Rolls to put a dampener on things, but he told yesterday morning's Evening News that we weren't in a position to match the price tag the scummers have slapped on young Mr Rendell's head: "We're in talks with Barry and we're doing our utmost to try to keep Scott on loan, but I can't give our fans the false hope that we might be signing him permanently.

"We're not in a position where we're going to spend £60,000 to £70,000, even if we could get them down to that - we're in the Conference and we've got to be realistic." Cheer up George, it's nearly Christmas, you never know what you might get in your stocking.

Clouding the water further is fat Barry, who today announced that the deal is dead as a dodo: "George Rolls phoned me to talk about making Scott Rendell's move permanent and made an offer which my chairman accepted," he said.

"Then George came back to say they didn't want to buy him, they just wanted to extend the loan. My chairman does not like the mickey being taken out of him, so Rendell will come back to Peterborough.

"Rendell won't be staying on loan at Cambridge - that is a one billion percent certainty," he said. Someone should probably tell the fat fool that you can't have more than 100 per cent, but given his creative approach to transfer fees, wages, etc, it's probably a bit late to teach him basic maths.

Who's telling porkies then? Well both Fry and Rolls have shown in the past that they have a fairly liberal relationship with the truth, but I'm inclined to believe that Barry is the one who's lying in this instance. He has been touting Rendell about ever since Scotty first joined us on loan, so it's fairly obvious they want to get rid, and that they're most likely going to have to take a hit in terms of the fee: In the current financial climate is a League One or Two team really going to fork out 120k for a player who has yet to prove himself at league level? I doubt it, so Barry is just trying to drum up a bit of interest in the only way he knows how.

We'll have to wait and see whether it works or not, but I suspect P*sh will be more grateful of our overtures if a couple of weeks of the transfer window pass by without any decent bids coming in. Watch this space.

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U's:1 Fleet:0

I feel like I’ve already written this report several times this season: Dominated possession, blah blah, missed a lot of chances blah blah, unadventurous opposition never looked like scoring blah blah blah.

The slight difference between Saturday’s game and the succession of 1-0’s that came before it was that United looked like a more cohesive side. Usually the defence is the only part of the team which functions as a proper unit, but during the Ebbsfleet match the midfield and attack were also linking effectively, thanks largely to the presence of one S.Rendell up front.

We can only hope that the Brabinator can keep Scotty beyond January 1, as having a player like him makes a world of difference. He held onto the ball well, brought others into play effectively, and won numerous flick-ons. And of course he scores goals. It’s all very well Brabin saying that “things haven’t been falling for us in the box”, as he did after the game, but I think it’s more to do with the fact that none of our other strikers have been getting in the sort of positions Rendell takes up.

The goal was a prime example of this. A corner from the right skimmed off a few heads to Hatswell, who turned and fired a low shot across goal that was going wide until Scotty raced in at the far post to ram it home.



United were good value for their half time advantage, and Danny Crow, who enjoyed probably his best game in a Cambridge shirt, should have given us the lead when he headed the ball past a defender, sprinted clear on goal, but hit his shot straight at Lance Cronin, who to his credit made a good reaction save.

With the defence marshalling the now-slimmed down Michael Gash adroitly, Danny Potter enjoyed a quiet afternoon, and although Fleet forced quite a few corners, none of them came to anything of note.

Most of United’s efforts were off-target, with Carden and Willmott dragging shots wide. A nice one-two between Rendell and Crow almost fashioned a chance for the latter, but he was crowded out before he could get a shot away.

The second half commenced with a Gleeson header from a corner which Cronin turned onto the bar, while Crow almost notched a superb goal following an incisive breakaway by Jardim. The winger accelerated down the left, running about 40 yards before sending over a deep cross. Carden met the ball on the half volley, sending it back across goal where Crow slid in and was inches away from connecting.

Willmott had a frustrating afternoon generally, running down more blind alleys than a myopic mouse. In the 71st minute he was replaced by the returning legend that is Courtney Pitt, much to the delight of most of the crowd. The Pittster’s first contribution was to lift a free kick over the cross bar, and he could have crowned his comeback with a goal when he raced past James Smith, brilliantly controlled a long ball but blazed his shot over the bar. Oh well, you can’t expect everything to be perfect all at once.


There was also time for Rendell to be booked for a dive, after what looked like a fairly innocent collision between himself, the keeper, and a defender, but despite throwing a few extra players forward, Ebbsfleet were unable to fashion a chance in the closing stages, and United closed out the game fairly comfortably. Just call us the Arsenal of the Conference.

Man of the Match: Scott Rendell – It was like he’d never been away.

Comment of the Match: Liam Daish tells it like it is: “We had to be brave out there and prepared to make mistakes in the final third. If myself, Alan Kimble, Paul Wilson the physio and Ian Docker had been out there in place of Cambridge's back line we would have been in control because we were too static.”

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