Blues:2 U's:0 - off our trolleys

It’s always weird when you see footballers off duty, going about the mundane tasks of their daily lives.

Earlier today I was in Royston Tesco, and who should happen to be wandering round the store, looking a bit gormless, but United winger Robbie Willmott. If I was being cruel I might say that young Willmott has spent most of his on-pitch time this season wandering around looking a bit gormless. And indeed it seems he and his team mates put in a performance barely worthy of Poundworld during last night’s defeat at Grays.

I wasn’t at the match, but judging by the radio commentary it was a fairly abysmal 90 minutes, with none of the players covering themselves in glory. And it leaves Martin Ling with a few selection posers ahead of Sunday’s encounter with the back-in-form-at-just-the-wrong-time-actually Villagers.

In the last couple of games I’ve been to, the midfield has looked weak, so I would be tempted to make changes there – perhaps ditching Willmott and Jai Reason and bringing in Sam Ives and Jordan Patrick. The problem with that is that all the CRC players are so tiny, so maybe it's time to consider Ben Farrell, who would offer a more physical option.

I’m really not sure what the solution is, but what isn’t in doubt is the kind of opposition we will be facing on Sunday. Histon will be their usual hard-working, physical selves, and if United can’t compete in that department then we’ll be in trouble.

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U's:3 Hatters:4

I removed a post from Sunday as it had garnered a lot of abuse from some touchy Luton fans. I hope this report doesn't offend the poor petals.

Well, where do you start with Saturday? With all that was going on off the pitch, it was a bit hard to concentrate on the action, but what was clear is that even by our low standards, the capitulation at the hands of ten-man Luton was spectacular and disappointing.

The Hatters are certainly the best team we've faced this season, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that, having established a two-goal first half lead, we should have been able to comfortably close out the match. The team seemed gripped by a collective feeling of nervousness and/or complacency, and this is something Lingy will have to eradicate sharp-ish.

Despite being second best for much of the first half, United somehow established a two-goal lead. While looking good on the ball, Luton appeared succeptible to pace on the counter attack, and a quick break from Bees saw him set up the Pittster, who drifted inside a challenge and cut a shot back across ex-scummer Mark Tyler and into the corner. Then 13 minutes later, Claude Gnapka's crude challenge on Tonkin led to a penalty, which Chrissy Holroyd converted despite the best efforts of Tyler, who got a hand to it but couldn't prevent the ball hitting the net.

The penalty looked a bit harsh to be honest, and Luton's irritation with the ref increased moments later when he sent off Liam Hatch, who picked up a second booking for a lunging tackle on Paul Carden.

Hatch had been Luton's most potent threat in the first period, bossing the off-colour Wayne Hatswell and winning practically every aerial duel. But in his absence his team mates really stepped up to the plate in the second half, passing the ball around crisply and hassling United into mistakes. Kevin Gallen halved the arrears with a close range finish, and Rossi Jarvis hit a spectacular equaliser, curling the ball home from the edge of the box. Then Hats sold Danny Potter short with a weak back header and let Gallen in. Although Pottsy parried his shot, the ball ran loose and Howells netted the rebound.

United rallied briefly, and Super Chris netted his 11th of the season from close range to make it 3-3 after Tyler had parried Hatswell's header. But it proved to be a perfect storm, and following more Luton pressure, Brian Saah was adjudged to have pushed Alan White in the box, and Gallen tucked away the resulting penalty. The U's huffed and puffed in the closing stages, but couldn't find a way past Tyler.

All in all it was a very disappointing performance, especially in the second half, when we failed to retain the ball for any period of time. The excellent Cardy aside, our midfield were conspicuous by their absence, and they will need to be a lot better if we are to get back to winning ways at Grays tonight.

A word on the ref too, who had an absolute shocker. Both penalties looked a bit dubious, and although the sending off of Hatch was probably correct, Gnapka should have followed him off the pitch in the second period when he cynically tripped Holroyd, an offence which would surely have met with a yellow card from the official had the Luton right back not already been booked in the first half. It was a blatent bottle job from the man in black, why can't these muppets ever show a bit of consistency?

Man of the Match: Paul Carden - Kept his head while those around him were losing theirs.

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AOB: Sven tells it like it is

I've been a fan of Sven-Goran Eriksson since he was manager of Sampdoria. As a little lad I remember being glued to Football Italia as he took a team containing Gullit, Mancini, Lombardo, and, er, David Platt, to the summit of Serie A, albeit without actually winning anything of consequence.

Laterly my admiration for Svennis has become based less on his managerial ability, and more on his knack for making vast amounts of cash for doing very little work. Witness the mahousive pay offs he's picked up in recent years after mediocre showings with England, Man City, and Mexico. The man's a genius.

He's on to another good thing now, having taken up the role of director of football at Notts County. What can there possibly be for a DoF to do at a League Two club? I assume he mostly fills his days wooing the club's female employees and going for cups of tea at Tord Grip's house. But this week he managed to come up with my favourite football quote of recent times. Asked about the mysterious way in which County are being financed, he replied;

"No, I don't know where the money comes from (...) I'm not interested in that. The important thing is that the money comes."

There we have it ladies and gentleman, modern football accurately summed up in one sentence. Keep up the good work Sven.

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U's:2 Red Dragons:0

If you talked to a Man City fan today, they'd probably argue that, after Michael Owen's winning goal in yesterday's Manchester derby, six minutes is a long time in football.

But personally I think they and manager Mark Hughes shouldn't be so ungrateful. So what if the referee's watch was being controlled by Lord Ferguson, at least they got to see their team score three goals in one match. Try going over six hours without a goal, then you've got a reason to complain. These pampered Premiership types don't even know they're born, hmph.

Anyway, yeah, United got back to winning ways on Saturday with a supremely comfortable victory over a woeful Wrexham outfit. Dragons boss Dean Saunders doesn't seem to be the brightest button, having replaced last season's underperforming bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports with, er, another bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports. Big name managers eh, they never learn.

I didn't have to wait long for Wayne Hatswell to end my goal drought. Nine minutes had elapsed when Mani, who has grown a lot since he was in The Stone Roses, chopped down Holroyd just outside the box. Hats took responsibility for the resulting free kick, driving a gently but accurate daisy cutter under the wall and into the corner. Perhaps the Chris Maxwell in the Wrexham goal should've done better, but let's not pick holes, a goal's a goal. 1-0.

Wrexham had already wasted what turned out to be their best chance of the half, with Nathan Fairhurst guiding a diving header over the bar, and other than that it was all United. Willmott drew a superb save from Maxwell with a curling free kick, while Holroyd should have tucked away a low Tonkin cross, but instead guided his shot into the grateful keeper's arms. Referee Kinesley showed himself to be a fairly competent official, but missed an off the ball kick by Mani on Willmott which could have resulted in the big defenders dismissal. Just before half time it could have been 2-0 when Brian Saah climbed to meet a corner from the left, but put his free header just wide.

The visitors were employing a 3-5-2 formation which I always think can be an effective way to play at this level. Their extra midfield man led to them having plenty of second half possession, as United retreated further and further back, with Reason and Carden joining the defenders to form what was virtually a back six. Although this led to a few heart-in-mouth moments, the sheer mass of bodies between Wrexham and Danny Potter's goal meant that Saunders men were reduced to wild efforts from distance. Eventually they switched to a 4-4-2 set up, but this just seemed to play into United's hands, with more and more space becoming available for the likes of Willmott and Holroyd to roam into.

And it was the winger who settled the game with ten minutes to go, picking up a pass from Danny Crow, and cutting in from the left flank to beat Maxwell inside his near post with a low shot. Again Robbie was a peripheral figure for much of the game, and you have to hope that the (hopefully) imminent return of Pitt will see return to the right flank where he is at his most dangerous. Beesley could have added a third at the death, but saw his shot blocked by Neil Taylor.

And so ended a game in which United were never overly stretched, but conversely never looked totally convincing. The defence is solid as ever, but in the second period we spent a lot of time on the back foot, and if we play a similar game against the better teams in the division I think we may run into problems.

Man of the Match: Brian Saah – What a signing, immaculate at the back in tandem with Hatswell.

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Another life down for Courtney

When we move house later this year, me and the missus are thinking of getting a cat. Given the events of the weekend I think it would be appropriate to name the as yet unpurchased feline Courtney.

Because surely no player in the history of football has ever had so many reprieves as Courtney Pitt. In the last couple of years he's been transferred listed, ostracised from squad, and released all together, yet somehow he remains a Cambridge United player. Meanwhile the managers who have tried to get rid of him are both currently unemployed: Martin Ling would be well advised to think twice should he consider not renewing the winger's contract at the end of the season.

In all seriousness, news of Courtney's return to the squad will surely be welcomed be even his harshest critics. I don't think anyone who has seen us play this season can possibly think he isn't a better option than Parky, who may have been a useful player once but certainly isn't one anymore.

But even leaving the scouser's shortcomings aside, we mustn't forget that two seasons ago Courtney was one of our most reliable performers. And although he didn't have the best of times last year he, like Parky, was coming back from a serious injury. Hopefully he'll soon be back in the starting line up, and providing his usual mixture of inspiration and frustration. Welcome back Courtney.

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Friendly village team update

September 1st: Histon FC launch their 2009/10 club brochure. P29, HISTON; A COMMUNITY CLUB.
"Histon continues to progress as a family-friendly club at the heart of the local community."

September 16th: Cambridge Evening News - HISTON GIVE OKAY CHANCE TO RETURN.
"Erkan Okay has been handed the opportunity to earn himself a shock return to Histon.
The defender, who parted company with the Stutes by mutual consent in January after being found guilty of assaulting a policeman in Newmarket, has signed reserve-team forms after being released by Chelmsford."

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Wombles:0 U's:0

I'll hold my hands up and take the blame for another goalless United performance.

As Danny Crow bowled past Wimbledon goalkeeper Seb Brown and advanced on the empty net 18 minutes into Saturday's game, I thought my drought was finally over. Surely it was going to be 1-0 to the Cam-ber-ridge.

But alas, I was right in Crowy's line of sight, and he must have spotted me, hesistated, and consequently lost control of the ball, and the chance was gone.

Never mind. At least the Wimbledon game was an entertaining affair, played out between two teams who looked quite evenly matched. While I wouldn't agree with Martin Ling's assessement that we were the better side throughout, we certainly had enough chances to win comfortably. Shame we didn't take any of them.

Wimbledon's ground, tucked away between several rows of houses, is a compact arena which will surely struggle to meet the needs of it's tennants should they continue to climb the pyramid. At least it's not in Selhurst or Milton Keynes I suppose. The shallow terrace allocated to the "Amber Nation" is a bit Histon-esque, but did enable a fair view on most of the pitch.

Despite the sweltering conditions, United started the match at a high tempo, closing the Dons down all over the show as they sought an early goal. The partnership between Holroyd and Crow continues to develop by the game, and the former should have given us the lead in the ninth minute. Following a spell of penalty box pin ball, Carden's shot was parried by the keeper into the path of Super Chris, but his goalbound effort was blocked on the line by Brett Johnson at the expense of a corner.

Then came Crowy's big opportunity, before a Parky volley was blocked by Jay Conroy. But by then the home side seemed to have got wise to our tactics, and were defending a bit deeper to nulify the electric pace and movement of Holroyd. By the end of the half they had carved out some good moments of their own, with Hatswell making a headed clearance under pressure from Danny Kedwell, and Tonker sliding in to clear a Luke Moore cross which had beaten Danny Potter.

We almost scored directly after the restart, with Crow spotting Brown off his line and trying an audacious Beckham style lob which the scrabbling keeper had to palm over for a corner. Holroyd also had the ball in the net, but was denied by an offside flag, and in between times Johnson headed over an open goal for Wimbledon, with Potter out of position, having come for a cross and failed to gather.

The Don's looked stronger in the closing stages, with Moore twice spurning chances to net the winner. First he was inches away from connecting with a cross from sub Jon Main, then he raced cleared of the U's back line, but took a heavy touch, allowing the alert Potter to smother the ball just inside the area.

I was a bit disappointed that Ling left it until the last ten minutes to make any changes. Neither of the wingers really performed, so why wasn't Pitt introduced? What's the point of having him on the bench if he prefers to bring on someone else (Ives) and play them out of position. And we could have done with a change up front a bit sooner, as Crow was clearly flagging in the hot conditions. A draw is by no means a bad result, but it was a winnable game, and we cannot afford to drop too many points, even at this early stage of the season.

Man of the Match: Anthony Tonkin - Several important interceptions allied to a few forays into Dons territory.

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AOB: Diving me crazy

It was a pretty good week to be an England fan, with qualification for the world cup being secured in uncharacteristically emphatic fashion. I'm looking forward to the inevitable nine-months-of-massive-hype-followed-by-crushing-disappointment already. But amidst the joy it was a shame that the fans at Wembley felt the need to boo Eduardo, presumably in response to the Croatia striker's dive in the Arsenal - Celtic Champions League game.

The booing was ironic given that I'm sure the same supporters were cheering as loudly as anyone else when Stephen Gerrard, a player not adverse to the odd dramatic fall himself, scored twice to set the Three Lions on the way to a comfortable victory. And I think the incident demonstrates the ridiculously hypocritical attitude towards diving exhibited by everyone as football. We accept so many other forms of cheating and gamesmanship as part of the sport, but for some reason reserve the right to jump on our high horses when the subject of simulation comes up.

Who among us complains when Danny Potter takes an age over a goal kick? Or if a few yards are stolen at a free kick or throw in? Or if Carden is in the ref's ear all game trying to influence his decisions? Not many I'd have thought, yet if a player dives they become the devil incarnate. Why is this? Perhaps it's because diving is percieved to be a problem introduced to the English game by Johnny Foreigner and is therefore, by definition, worse? I don't know, but it perplexes me that something so insignificant has become such a big issue in the last few weeks.

Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer it if there was no foul play in football at all, but I think we have accept that diving is part of the game now, and that if we're making a list of the problems of modern football, it should/would probably be a long way down the list.

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U's:0 Robins:0

"Now I'm back, we can only hope the players don't return to their old shot-shy ways in tonight's match against Altrincham." - Me. Yesterday.

Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut eh, because this is getting beyond a joke now. The last player I saw hit the net for United in a proper match was Scott Rendell against Stevenage in last years play offs, 360 goalless minutes ago. What possessed me to book tickets for Wimbledon on Saturday I have no idea.

It's not that we played especially badly last night, but I struggle to believe that we are capable of scoring more than one goal against anyone, let alone three, four, or seven. Forest Green, Gateshead, et al must be really, really, bad.

Alty have been waiting almost as long as me to see a U's goal, given that we haven't scored against them in our last three encounters. They returned to Abbey employing the same innovative 8-0-2 formation which successfully nulified us in the final game of last season, but could have taken the lead in the first minute, when Dale Johnson's flick found Chris Senior, who was denied by the legs of Danny Potter.

Johnson's willingness to collapse when in the vicinity of a United player won him plenty of free kicks from the penickity referee Jerden, but mostly United were on top, with early balls into the channels for Holroyd and Crow causing problems for the visiting defenders. At times last season I don't think we were direct enough, and it's good that Ling seems to be addressing this. Unfortunately in the second half the accurate distribution of the first period lapsed into high hopeful balls which were easily dealt with by Greg Young and Robbie Williams. Perhaps if the manager hadn't been absent due to illness we would have stayed on task for the whole 90 minutes.

Anyway, Crowy put in a good stint up front with some intelligent running, but missed the two best opportunities of the first period. Both came from Holroyd crosses, with the first being blocked by a defender and the second looping over the bar.

The second half followed an all-too familiar pattern, with United attacks getting more and more frantic as time progressed. We did have the ball into the net twice, but both goals were disallowed. First Parkinson strayed offside during a move which culminated in Willmott scoring from close range, then Dan Gleeson being penalised for pushing seconds before Wayne Hatswell crashed home a volley at the far post. I wasn't really in a position to judge whether either decision was legitimate, but the latter certainly looked like the kind of shirt tugging that always goes on in Conference games.

It's disappointing that we couldn't break down a hard working but limited Alty team, and I think our line up could do with some tinkering. I don't like continuously slagging Parky, but he doesn't seem to do anything, and it seems ludicrous that Willmott is being played out of position to accomodate a blatently inferior player. Courtney may not be the most consistent, but he is surely a better bet to make things happen than the scouse baldy. It will be interesting to see whether Ling makes any changes for Saturday.

Man of the Match: Danny Crow - Lots of hard work and nice touches from a player who seems to finally be approaching top form.





Announcement of the Match: "Could Joe Bloggs please report to the money room" said the tannoy man during the first half. Perhaps we've finally found the answer to the age-old question of where the Dion money went.

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Meanwhile, over at the Glassworld...

Or, given the news of JB's potential departure, should that be;

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Goals goals goals

Footballers are a spiteful bunch.

I went to our first two home games of the season, and didn't see so much as a goal, let alone a point. Did they not appreciate that I clambered off my sick bed to see us keel over at the feet of Crawley? But as soon as I jet off on my wonderful honeymoon they find the net ten times in two home games, while also picking up a useful point at Rushden. Now I'm back, we can only hope the players don't return to their old shot-shy ways in tonight's match against Altrincham. If they do, I'll happily take donations so that me and the missus can afford to stay on holiday for the rest of the season. For the good of the team of course.

Apart from the glut of goals, it's been pleasing to note we've only conceded once in the four games since Brian Saah's arrival, and I'm looking forward to seeing him in action for the first time. We seem to be getting all the "easy" games out of the way first this year, having played and beaten all four current residents of the relegation zone. So while I suspect we will not have a firm idea about our promotion chances until we've faced stronger opposition, we are at least not yet looking back on points dropped against the divisions lesser lights.

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