U's:1 Chavs:3 - Revenge of the Cooperman

I'm still angry.

Two days may have passed since the boxing day debacle, but I'm still fuming about the performance of referee Ian Cooper. Leaving the country hasn't even helped matters, so I'm hoping that venting my spleen here will enable me to calm down so I can enjoy the rest my holiday.

All football fans moan about officials, but rarely does the ref wrongly influence the result quite as much as the Cooperman did on Saturday. I'd love to hear him explain some of his decisions; even leaving aside the penalty awarded for an offence which a) wasn't an offence, and b) was apparently outside the box, how could he justify sending Hatswell off when two United players (Willmott and Carden) got bookings for similar offences?

And moreover why did he think it was a good idea to keep blowing up for minor fouls every 30 seconds? You have to wonder whether these moronic officials have ever seen football at this level before, because there is always going to be a lot of physical contact, especially against a side like Stevenage. If you keep giving random fouls for every little clash you're never going to get an entertaining or cohesive match.

We've been at the mercy of the Cooperman before; you may remember him as the official who sent off Ben Farrell at Crawley for the henious crime of falling over then getting back up. He also gave both sides baffling penalties in that match, and one wonders whether these referees who are consistently poor are ever sanctioned by the Conference?

I probably sound very bitter, and I realise that referees have a difficult job. They are bound to make mistakes, as we all do in our work, but part of their job is to keep a clear and objective mind even when a match gets a bit fiesty, as it did on Saturday and in the afforementioned Crawley match. Sadly I'm afraid Mr Cooper has shown he is incapable of doing this; too many times he was conned by the diving antics of Mssrs Odubade and Beardsley, and by the end he seemed to be giving decisions to both sides alternately, regardless of who was the aggressor. While he is so easily influenced he should not be refereeing at this level if you ask me, the incompetent buffoon.

Phew, I feel a lot better now. Hopefully United will cheer me further by picking up a decent result at Mansfield this afternoon. Though with Carden and Saah joining Hatswell on the sidelines I won't be holding my breath.

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Team of the decade

So soon it will be farewell to the noughties, a decade which has introduced us to the delights of Big Brother, Facebook, Lady Gaga, and a plethora of gadgets prefaced by the letter i.

But while it may have been a good time for social networking gurus and singers of indeterminate gender, the last ten years have not been a vintage period in the long and glorious history of Cambridge United.

Nevertheless, in between relegations, ground sales, Wembley failures, and a million managerial changes, a few talented players have donned the amber and black, so in their honour here is the U’s Blog team of the decade, lining up in a 3-5-2 formation.

Goalkeeper: Lionel Perez.
People seem to remember Perez as just being a bit of a clown, and while his many eccentricities were certainly a big part of his appeal, he was a top drawer keeper as well. Sadly a good goalie can only make a difference behind a decent defence, and while he kept us up virtually single-handedly in 2000/01, he could do nothing to stop our demise the following year. Shame that penalty against Tranmere didn’t go in.


Defender: Dan Gleeson.
One of our most consistent performers since he made his debut in back in 2003, Gleese certainly still has the potential to go on and play at a higher level. Hopefully that will be with United, and I can see him moving to centre half from his usual right back slot in the next couple of years.

Defender: Mark Peters.
Our team at the moment is crying out for a slightly younger version of Mark Peters. An unflappable presence in our first three seasons in the Conference, he could head a ball further than most mere mortals could kick it, and was the master of the tactical foul on the half way line to stop a promising opposition attack. Add to that his exploits between the sticks as emergency keeper, and you have a legendary figure.

Defender: Michael Morrison.
Another extremely consistent player, who looked at home in the first team from the moment he made his debut in 2005. Now fulfilling his undoubted potential in the Championship with Leicester City.

Right Wing: Shane Tudor.
Ok, so Tudor was a grumpy little git who had ideas above his station, and of course went off on that legendary rant about how rude the people of Cambridge are. But on the pitch you couldn’t really fault him, and in 2002/03 he was virtually unplayable as Shaggy’s swashbuckling team took Division Three by storm. Sadly injuries meant he was never the same after that, but he was one of few players to shine in the 2004/05 relegation season, netting some crucial goals including the last minute winner against Oxford.

Central Midfield: Luke Guttridge.
I never took to Guttridge at all, but like Tudor I’ll grudgingly admit he was quite good. His best year was 2003/04, when his goals were the only thing that kept us clear of a relegation battle in Division Three. Some unwise career choices since then have meant he probably won’t fulfil his promise, and I’m sure we were all secretly pleased when Danny Webb lamped him one in that game against Shrewsbury in 2004/05.

Central Midfield: Paul Wanless.
I said Perez kept us up single-handedly in 2001, but that’s a bit unfair on Wanny, whose goals also made a big difference. A last minute winner against his boyhood club Oxford was one of 11 strikes that season, and while injuries and his blatant dislike of John Beck hampered him in 2001/02, he played his part in 2002/03, memorably scoring an equaliser at Lincoln when United were down to nine men.

Central Midfield: Paul Carden.
A key player in both our failed promotion attempts, Cardy has been a bit less consistent this term, but remains one of the top midfielders in the Conference. Also deserves credit for the admirable diplomacy he showed after his best mate the Brabinator was given the boot in the summer.

Left Winger: Courtney Pitt.
As the only player to have featured in all five of our Conference seasons so far, Courts deserves to be in the team on the basis of his longevity alone. Capable of playing like Leo Messi one minute, Kingsley Mbome the next, he continues to divide opinions among U’s fans but would always be one of the first names on my team sheet.

Striker: Dave Kitson.
Bizarrely described as a “wandering gipsy” (is there any other kind?) by Paul Wanless in his LDV Vans final programme pen pictures, the ginger genius is probably the best striker I’ve seen play for United. Shame the move to Stoke hasn’t really worked out for him.




Striker: Scott Rendell.
In terms of haircuts, a Kitson/Rendell partnership would be a barber’s nightmare. Scotty isn’t a particularly good footballer, but his habit of finding space in the six yard box should be enough to help carve out a decent career, and you can’t really argue with his record of 30 goals in 55 league games for United. The best one was certainly the last – the winner against the Chavs in the play offs.

Subs: Danny Potter, Andy Duncan, Rob Wolleaston, Tom Youngs, Robbie Simpson.

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Snow joke as fixtures are put on ice (ba-dum-tish)

The annual bout of snow we seem to get in this country nowadays is manna from local newspaper heaven.

After all, why bother digging around for actual stories when you can fill pages with pictures of smiling kids on sledges, user-generated content (ie, people sending in pictures of their snowmen), and long-winded quotes from weathermen who don't really know what they're talking about. My working week is done before it's even started, hurrah

Groundsmen up and down the country weren't so pleased to welcome the waves of wintry weather which swept across the Uk last Friday, laying waste to the entire Blue Square Premier weekend programme including United's planned Friday night clash with Oxford.

In a way I was disappointed to see the game be called off as I was looking forward to seeing how we'd fare against an outfit who thus far have been comfortably the best in the division. However our Christmas schedule looks considerably less daunting now that the toughest match of the four has been taken out of the equation. Mansfield haven't been in great form recently, so I'm fairly confident we can get something there, and in the home game against Stevenage, although the away leg in Chavsville will be a very tricky proposition. Of course we'll have to play Oxford at some point, but psychologically the postponement may have been a timely one - a heavy defeat on Friday night could have set our confidence back ahead of three matches in quick succession.

Meanwhile Steve Y'Know's future with the Villagers remains about as certain as Eurostar's festive timetabling plans, with talks continuing about the size of his pay off how his situation can be resolved. It might be a good idea if somebody got Stutes chairman Tony Roach a Harry Potter outfit for Christmas, as it seems he has been busy with his magic wand since taking over:

"I’m fed up of reading about Histon being in crisis – there was a crisis when I took over, but there isn’t now," he told the CN, before adding “everyone’s working hard and working together, and there are a lot of positives at the club at the moment.” It seems that, despite their well publicised differences of opinion, Roach has inherited his predecessors penchant for spin. Plus ca change.

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U's:3 Hatters:1 - Celebration time

It's party time here at U's Blog towers. I've taken the day off work, defrosted a few sausage rolls, and will be inviting all my friends, neighbours, and acquaintances round later on for bucks fizz and cold chicken nuggets.

The reason for these lavish celebrations is that on Saturday we beat the mighty Luton Town in a match which their defender Claude Gnapka described as our "cup final". So we've won in a final!! Against Luton!! Does it get any better than this? The only disappointment was that so few people were there to see it, I think many United fans must have confused this great occasion with an FA Trophy first round game or something.

In fairness to Claude, I'm not entirely sure he's on the same planet as the rest of us, as in the same article he claims that Luton are "a team of winners", when the evidence of the season so far suggests a more accurate description would be "a team of better-than-average Non-League players who win sometimes." Still, whatever makes him happy I suppose.

I wasn't at the game myself, but by all accounts we played very well, and even if it was only the Trophy it should give the squad a bit of encouragement ahead of this tough run of fixtures we have coming up. I've mentioned before that I think we play better against better teams because there's less emphasis on us to dictate the play, and hopefully that will stand us in good stead when we come up against Oxford, Stevenage, et al.

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Steve Y'Know gets the heave ho - Fallon suspended by Histon

In the same way that listening to political debate on talkSPORT reassures me that I'm not that stupid, watching the Histon "fairytale" unravel in such hilarious fashion makes me feel a lot better about United's current situation.

Because however boring this season may have been so far, it could be a lot worse, we could be Histon. Regular readers will know I don't hold Steve Y'Know's managerial skills in particularly high regard, and that he went down a lot in my estimation when he got involved in that very public slanging match in the 07/08 season about car park spaces, and programme notes, and other such trivial matters.

But ostensibly I think he's a decent guy, and as someone who has been so central to the Villagers rise from obscurity he doesn't deserve to be treated so shabbily in public, no matter what is going on behind the scenes. If nothing else their board have scored massive PR own goal here, and I don't really see how they can remedy the situation without a permanent parting of the ways.

Whoever is in charge, the future isn't looking particularly bright for the Villagers, and I for one won't shed any tears if they disappear back from whence they came. Their handful of proper supporters may not deserve it, but I have no sympathy for the majority of head-in-the-sand, rent-a-fans who have jumped on their increasingly shaky looking band wagon in recent years, and taken great pleasure from our various catastrophes. Looks like they could soon be reaping what they have sewed.

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Wooooaaaah, we're half way there

I didn't go to Eastbourne on Saturday, but by the sounds of things it was the usual story of the team having to dig themselves out of a hole after conceding sloppy goals.

With all due respect etc etc you've got to look at it as another two points dropped against a side who have just four wins on the board this season, although as we haven't won an away game since August, they probably feel the same. Highlights again nicked from Matbro51's youtube channel, and very good highlights they are too:



Fair play to Lingy for bringing Ives in for Reason, though whether he will be brave enough to stick with a relatively untried player for the upcoming games against far superior opposition remains to be seen. Personally I think Ives deserves an extended run in the side, but would also understand if Lingy decided to opt for the more, ahem, bulky, figure of Reason.



We're now half way through the season, and to be honest so far it's been about as exciting as the average episode of Home and Away, with a top five finish looking less and less likely as the games tick by and points are squandered against mediocre opposition. Last year a total of 81 was needed to reach the play-off's, meaning we will need to improve considerably in the second half of the campaign if we are to be in with a shout of promotion. Not an impossible task, but not an easy one either, especially considering we have yet to meet three of the current leading quintet - Oxford, Stevenage, and Mansfield.

The most pleasing things about the season so far has been the progress of the youngsters - with Ives in particular already looking like a bonafide first team regular - and the extra resiliance that the side has been displaying of late. This is one area where Lingy is certainly superior to his predecessor; I often felt Brabin struggled to influence games once they were underway, whereas Ling's team talks and substitutions seem to have the desired affect more often than not. Hopefully this will be a particularly useful skill when he gots more of his own players in, be it in January or over the summer.

Still, we can leave the serious business of the league behind for a couple of weeks now and concentrate on the big prize, the FA Trophy. After all, we're only four games from Wembley...

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U's:1 Blues:0

On Tuesday night someone on the messageboard started a thread about the best games United have been involved in over the last decade.

Suffice to say that our 1-0 win over Chester will not be joining the list, but it would fit easily into the top ten worst football matches United have played, be it in the last ten years or in the history of the world. In fact, it would probably be up there in the top ten worst ways to spend two hours of your life, just above going for a drive with Tiger Woods or taking a leisurely boat trip into Iranian territorial waters.

I'd like to say I'm exagerating for comedic effect, but anyone who was there will confirm that I'm not. Suitable adjectives do not exist to describe how dreadful it was - 22 supposedly professional footballers lumping the ball back and fourth to one another with little quality or imagination on display.

In fairness both teams were depleted, Chester because of their well documented financial problems, and United due to a spate of injuries and suspensions which robbed them of the services of Gleeson, Tonkin, and Hatswell. Their CRC-bred replacements, McAuley, Coulson, and Coakley, all performed pretty well, though the full backs gave little support to the wide players when we were on the attack, meaning that Chester's five man midfield nullified the threat of Pitt and Willmott fairly comfortably.

Returning midfield duo Carden and Reason were fairly annoymous, and we looked much better when Ives joined the fray in place of the injured McAuley. I usually stick up for Reason but on this occasion I can offer no excuses for the terrible nature of his performance. I struggle to see how Lingy could justify starting him in the next game.

Meanwhile Crow and Holroyd toiled away up front with no great success, although this partly due to the paucity of the "service" being provided by their team mates. Chester had the best chances of the first half, with Owens rolling a tame shot into the arms of Potter and Chadwick doing likewise from an even better position.

United could have had a free kick in the box in first couple of minutes of part two, when Danby picked up what appeared to be a back pass under pressure from Holroyd. But after a lengthy discussion with his assistant, the ref strangely gave Chester a free kick, presumably for Super Chris's challenge on the visiting number one.

Nothing much else happened until Phillips and Marriott came on to liven things up. Despite looking a bit like a less grumpy version of Andy Murray, Maz appears to be a real prospect, and once again displayed the kind of instinctive eye for goal that has brought him so much success in the Ridgeons League. He almost netted the winner when he picked the ball up just outside the area, and sent a delicious chip over the keeper but also just over the bar.

He was eventually involved in the winner, being brought down on the left for a free kick, which Willmott took and delivered onto the head of Crowy, who beat Danby to the ball and flicked it into the net. The decision to come out for the ball looked to be a poor one from the keeper, and it was certainly a costly mistake for his team and their band of 43 travelling fans.

So yeah, we'll take the points and move swiftly on I think, there's no way we can be that bad again. Lingy's selection for Saturday will be an interesting one - if I was Ives I'd be thoroughly downhearted if I were benched again in favour of Reason, although continuing injury problems at right back may mean both are pressed into service, with Cardy on defensive duty. And with Hatswell available again too, will the boss disrupt the central defensive partnership which kept our first clean sheet in five games? Going on his previous choices, my guess is he probably will.

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