Ins and outs as Lingy shakes it all about

Much like that pesky snow and ice, the transfer window is back with a vengeance this week.

Unlike the snow it probably won't cause a national disaster, or any panic buying in the supermarkets, unless we all become addicted to Sky Sports News that is. But it does promise to keep the staff at the Abbey busy as Lingy reshapes his squad ahead of the battle for that coveted 12th place spot in the Conference. Here's a round up of the comings and goings, confirmed or otherwise, at CUFC this week.

Jon Challinor out (to Mansfield): We already knew about this one, but nevertheless it is a relief to see it go through. JC has been fairly anonymous throughout his time at United, and although he has done good stuff in the past, I suspect his career is now on a downward arc. A complete waste of £15,000 by Brabin.

Anthony Tonkin out (to Oxford): Again this has been common knowledge for a while, and I'm in two minds as to whether it's a good thing. On the one hand, Tonks has probably been our most consistent player this season, and will be difficult to replace. But do we really want to tie up a lot of our budget on an outstanding left back? Obviously in an ideal world you'd like quality players in every position, but now we are operating on a restricted budget I suspect his (presumably hefty) wages can be better used to strengthen in more important areas.

Wayne Hatswell out (to Dundalk): The news that Hats will soon be twatting 40-yard free kicks into defensive walls in the League of Ireland is unexpected post-Christmas bonus. I assumed we'd be stuck with his ageing legs until the end of the season, and given his dip in form this year it's probably the right time for him to pursue a coaching career. All the best Wayno, and thanks for memories such as this:



Luke Foster in? Fresh from his capture of Tonkin, nasty turncoat Chris Wilder was quoted on Radio Cambs this morning as saying we're in for their unwanted centre half Luke Foster. I'll confess to knowing nothing about him other than a) the fake U's used to rate him highly, and b) he fell out with the last manager who I seem to remember accused him of being a big time Charlie. Will reserve judgement on this one if it happens, but anyone's got to be better than Josh Coulson.

Matt Lockwood in? Not sure if there's anything in this or whether the link has arisen purely because the Colchester left back has worked with the Ling before and is available for loan. But if we can afford him I think he'd probably be a good addition. Although at 33 he must be past his best, he would be a senior voice in the dressing room to give the manager some back up, which you imagine would very beneficial given that Lingy doesn't have an assistant manager to call his own.

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Villagers:1 U's:1

Although there are a lot of things I'd happily accuse Gareth Baldwin of, stupidity wouldn't usually be one of them.

But in the wake of the quotes in today's CEN I'm beginning to wonder. Referring to the crowd issues last night which saw 250-300 fans locked out at Bridge Road, he said: "The decision was made by our safety officer because Cambridge sold 590 tickets, so we gave them the whole of the away end and 300 seats in the home end (...) If I'm honest, we didn't think we'd get to capacity, but once we were, Trading Standards and our safety officer said no more fans in the away end."

Baldwin's comments just about sum up why his club are a million miles away from being a professional outfit off the pitch, even if they are pretty good on it. How could anyone in their right mind think that less than 1,000 United fans would turn up on the night to watch their team, given that for a lot of them Histon is probably closer to home than the Abbey? It defies all belief or logic, and to make matters worse they clearly had no contingency plan in place. After the gates were locked they started letting United fans without colours into the home end, but soon put a stop to this, meaning a large number gathered on the hillside to watch the game instead.

So the "massive crowd" predicted by Steve Fallon turned out to be 2,500. Quelle Surprise. The only consolation I can take from having to watch the game in Histon territory (yes I was one of the colour-less few that made it in) was that their own incompetence probably cost them a few thousand quid. Never mind eh.

The absent masses didn't really miss a lot as the match itself was fairly low quality, being played as it was on a surface which made any move involving the players taking more than one touch virtually impossible. United sprung a surprise by naming last minute signing Lee Phillips in the starting line up. I'm not entirely sure that getting yet another player in is a good idea, even if Beesley is going to miss the rest of the season. I'm sure our budget is already stretched to breaking point, and with Parky set to return soon Willmott could feasibly be pressed into service up front. And if we are in the business of signing cash-chasing Conference journeymen, we could have at least pushed the boat out to get the greedy journeyman's greedy journeyman, Daryl Clare.

Phillips did little of note on his debut, bar one surging run and shot in the second half that was narrowly wide, though it would perhaps be harsh to judge him too soon, especially on such an atrocious pitch. Nothing much happened at all in the first half, save for a lot of whistling from the referee, who at one point seemed set on penalising Scott Rendell every time his feet left the ground. Heaven knows what watching Setanta pundit, and budding refereers assesor, Steve Evans made of it all.

Jack Midson shot wide when well placed for the Stutes, while Rendell deflected a wayward Gleeson shot into Danny Naisbett's ample midriff. Naisbett also clung onto a volley from Jai Reason, but the half time whistle came as a welcome relief from the tedium on the pitch, if only because it gave us the chance to be deafened by Histon's abnormally loud tannoy.

United at least seem to be able to cope with Histon now, something which could never really be said last season. The start of the second half saw us get right in their faces, and Naisbett was called into action to turn a looping header from Bolland over the bar. Then came the afforementioned Phillips chance, before Hatswell blasted a long ranger high and wide.

Little did we know that the trigger happy defender was just warming up. In the 74th minute Phillips was chopped down 30 yards from goal. The resulting free kick was punched clear by Naisbett, but the ball fell kindly for Hats, who mowed a tremendous dipping 35-yard volley back over the stranded keeper into the top of the net. 1-0.

Unfortunately we all know the Stutes are at their most dangerous in the last ten minutes, and although they looked down and out at this point, their tremendous self belief began to kick in. Free kicks, throw ins, and corners rained down on the United defence, and Antonio Murray spurned a great chance to equalise, beating Potter with an angled shot but seeing his effort come back off the post.

A goal was certainly brewing though, and when it came it was unfortunate that it again stemmed from an error by Pottsy. Our number one looked to have Langston's header under control, but instead of catching or punching effectively, he merely helped in onto the bar, and Midson was on hand to tuck in the rebound. 1-1.

At that stage the Stutes looked the only likely winners, but for all their late pressure they failed to muster another shot on target, and in the end a draw was probably a fair result. As with Saturday's game, I thought the sides were fairly well matched, and while I will never be totally confident when facing the Villagers, I think that if we do end up meeting them again in the Play-Offs we will be more than a match for them and their strong arm tactics.


Man of the Match: Wayne Hatswell - It would be harsh to not give him MotM after such a stunning goal.

Mong of the Match: Plenty to choose from in Histon, but the drunk, spitting, Stutes chav who wandered in our direction in the second half wins. Fair play to the tattooed but very polite steward who reprimanded him for "acting like a div".

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The great Christmas points give-away

What sort of firm makes its staff work on New Year's eve? Mean spirited buffoons like my employers, that's who. My (ordinarily low) motivation levels are feeling particularly drained today.

As I was away over Christmas I don't really have any strong views about the Histon and Stevenage games, other than that it appears to have been a needless waste of four points. Dodgy penalty decisions or not (someone told me yesterday that Bridgo's theatrical tumble in Sunday's game was "one of the worst penalty decisions I've ever seen") it sounds as if we had enough chances to put both games to bed, and indeed you would usually expect our miserly defence to be reliable in those situations.

You may have gathered from reading my posts that I've always been fairly optimistic about our chances of promotion, but even I'm beginning to worry that this team is lacking what is required to go up. We seem to be short of mental toughness, and whether this comes from the management or the make up of the side I don't know. Managing to hold onto Rendell is obviously a massive step in the right direction, and we can only hope that the rumours of Hatswell's departure prove to be unfounded. With Bolland almost certainly on his way out, it would be a big blow to lose our most consistant player of the year so far as well.

We can perhaps take heart from the example of Exeter, who at this time last year were sitting eighth in the table, with many supporters questioning the future of manager Paul Tisdale. For us to enjoy a similarly glorious conclusion to the season, the Brabinator will need to get a bit extra out of our talented but currently underperforming squad. Whether he is capable of doing this or not may well be the making of him as a manager.

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Borough:0 U's:3 & U's:0 Poppies:2

Like a blogging version of Tesco’s, I am today offering two match reports for the price of one.

Bank holiday weekend offered a brace of games of contrasting quality, and I’ll start by returning to happier times down on the south coast.

I actually think it would be a good idea if the Conference introduced a new rule decreeing that all away games be played in Eastbourne; what could be better than eating ice cream on the beach in the shadow of a good old fashioned pier, with the sun beating down on your face. You wouldn’t get that at Grays or Stafford, that’s for sure.

Inside the ground there was no segregation, a policy I suspect Eastbourne will review after a visit from some of the leagues more unsavoury sets of fans. But it was good fun (in a non-league kind of way) being able to wade in amongst their singing contingent, which comprised a handful of teenagers and a forlorn-looking drum and flag, the latter of which was captured during the half time interval by some cheeky U’s fans. Bless them.

Anyway, the first half was pretty one-sided, with United dominating proceedings, using the full width of the pitch to good effect. It was just the final ball that was lacking, with Jardim, Willmott, and Beesley all putting crosses in which failed to find waiting team mates.

But the result never looked in doubt once Evil had swept us into the lead with his fourth goal in as many games. Challinor worked the ball onto Beesley, who fed a perfect through pass into his strike partners feet. Big Lee took a couple of touches before guiding a low shot across the keeper into the far corner. 1-0.

Eastbourne vaguely resembled the St Albans side who spent a brief spell in the Conference a couple of years ago, knocking the ball around well but lacking any kind of defensive solidity. The second goal came moments before the break; A borough defender trod on the ball just inside his own half, and Evil pounced like a rampaging rhinoceros, surging forward and releasing Jardim. It looked as though the winger had held onto possession for too long, but in fact he timed his pass to perfection, squaring the ball to Ben Farrell, who lashed home from outside the box. 2-0.

The second half was fairly dull by comparison, with Eastbourne seeing more of the ball but doing little of note with it. Danny Potter provided us with a brief moment of excitement when he picked up a Hatswell back pass, but the resulting free kick from inside the area was blocked and cleared by the massed United ranks.

There was time for Chris Holroyd to mark a lively substitute appearance with a debut goal. Again it stemmed from an Eastbourne error which capitalised on by Beesley. His pass put Holroyd in the clear, and he beat Lee Hook with a stylish lofted finish. 3-0, job done.

Man of the Match: Lee McEvilly – At his unplayable best, and capped a good performance with a well-taken goal.







Bank holiday Monday saw Kettering arrive at the Abbey, along with a familiar face from our almost-glorious past; the dulcet tones, receding hairline, and constant mentions of Shrewsbury could only mean that Jimmy Quinn was back, making good on his pre-season promise to offer his punditary skills to Setanta.

After getting comfortable in the home dug out, shaking hands and chatting with the substitutes, JQ beat a hasty retreat pre-kick off, and spent the match watching from the Habbin. Given our lifeless performance, I can only imagine he was infiltrating the players brains, jedi-style, and encouraging them to play aimless long balls in the direction of Evil. Needless to say, the giant Poppies centre backs, Guy Branston and the brilliantly named Exodus Geohaghan, gobbled them up with ease.

Mark Cooper’s side won’t win many style points this season, but the former Tamworth manager had obviously done his homework, and his team worked hard to cut the supply to U’s wide men Jardim and debut-making Chris Jones. They were also a threat going forward, and Gareth Seddon had the best chance of a dull first half when he was denied at close range by Wayne Hatswell.

Five minutes after half time they took the lead, when former United frontman Craig Westcarr sent in a Wolleaston-esque cross/shot which eluded Danny Potter and flew in at the far post.

United had some work to do now, and Phil Bolland reacted well to a Jardim free kick, but shot straight at Lee Harper when well placed.

Any chance we had of getting back into the match evaporated in the 68th minute. Farrell raced after a loose ball, but arrived slightly late and stamped on Westcarr’s foot. The goalscorer went down in mock-agony, and referee Creighton, whose approach to card-issuing throughout the match was as erratic as a dyslexic postman at Christmas, gave the ginger-balled midfielder his marching orders. I’m not surprised the club are appealing what was a shocking decision, and I hope they are successful, not least because the only available alternative may be Darren Quinton, ho hum.

Anyway, with a man advantage the Poppies poured forward, and Chris Beardsley put the result beyond doubt when he finished from close range after fellow sub JP Marna’s fine run and cross.

Kettering deserved the three points, and it was a worrying performance from United, who never got to grips with the visitors physical approach. It is clear from the opening four matches that we can play football as well as the best of them at this level, but without a hard edge to go with it our spell at the top of the table will be as shortlived as Craig Pope’s retirement.

Man of the Match: Wayne Hatswell – no one really stood out, but for the most part 'Hats' kept his head while those around him were losing theirs.







Mutton-dressed-as-lamb of the Match: Setanta’s latest blonde bimbo reporter, who could do with a visit from Trinny and Susannah judging by the bizarre outfit she was wearing.

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U's:2 Bluebirds:1

R.E.S.P.E.C.T obviously doesn’t mean as much to Darren Sheridan as it did to Aretha Franklin.

Barrow’s joint manager can’t have received the memo about the FA’s much heralded respect the referee’s campaing, given the abuse he directed at Amy Rayner after she had sent his player off in the dying moments of Saturday’s game.

Sheridan’s frustration level was probably pretty high after seeing his side slip to a first defeat in 20 outings, as United clipped the Bluebirds wings to record a third successive win and ascend to the top of the division.

United had shown plenty of attacking flair in their first two matches and, by keeping a lively Barrow side at bay for 45 minutes, proved they have maintained the tenacity and resolve of last years squad. Although there are undoubtedly be tougher challenges ahead, it was dropping points against the “lesser” teams that cost us a title challenge last year, and it’s never a bad thing to be top of the league, even if it’s only three games in.

Lee McEvilly saw two shots fly wide of the target, and Felino Jardim firing straight at Tim Deacy in a one-sided first half hour, while Robbie Willmott, who enjoyed another impressive outing, and forced Deacy into a good save after being put clear by a clever Mark Beesley pass.

United hit the front in the 28th minute, when a Stephen Gerrard-esque cross field ball from Paul Carden found Jardim. He cut in from the left and fired in a low shot which Deacy could only palm into the path of McEvilly, who eagerly gobbled up his third goal in two games.

Barrow looked neat and tidy, and on this showing will not be following in the footsteps of relegation fodder such as Droyslden and Farsley. However, they only really threatened from set plays, with the swirling wind causing U’s keeper Danny Potter causing no end of problems

Pottsy recovered well to save from Lee Hunt, after his punch had presented the Barrow striker with a good chance, while Dan Gleeson had to clear another effort off the line after a break down in communication between Potter and Phil Bolland.

The equaliser came from a 36th minute free kick on the left, which was whipped in by Mark Boyd and saw Paul Tait climb highest to head in at the far post. The Brabinator said afterwards that he felt it should have been disallowed, but from where I was sitting the goal looked fair enough.

However, the visitors’ joy was short lived. Jardim was fouled 35 yards from goal, and Wayne Hatswell stepped up to unleash a powerful free kick which somehow found it’s way through Deacy’s hands and into the net. Not quite as spectacular as the one against Forest Green, but they all count. 2-1.

From a defensive point of view, the second half passed fairly uneventfully, with no alarms and no surprises, as Thom Yorke might say. Having said that, Bolland was lucky to stay on the field when he lunged in on Carlos Logan, but escaped with just a yellow card. Moments later the same player tugged back Nick Rogan but received only a stern ticking off from referee Amy Rayner, a decision which incensed the Barrow bench.

As United pushed for a third, McEvilly and Beesley both missed sitters, while substitute Chris Jones was denied by Deacy. And in the closing stages Barrow’s Mike Pearson picked up a second yellow card for bringing down Jardim.

So yeah, United were pretty good, without playing as well as they did against Kiddy. It’s a bit worrying that we picked up an injury though, with Carden succumbing to ankle-knack at half time, and being replaced by Ben Farrell, fresh from his narrow escape from the clutches of Histon Village. While Faz is a more than adequate replacement, if we continue to pick up injuries at this rate we’ll have run out of players by the end of September.

Man of the Match: Wayne Hatswell – United’s free kick specialist may not have had a good pre-season, but is certainly back to his best now.

Banner of the Match: One can only hope the Bluebirds are Blue effort from the Barrow fans is meant in a post-modern, ironic fashion, because otherwise I may start to believe that people from the north really are more stupid.

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