Decision time for the nation (and some footballers)

So after weeks of campaigning, posturing, and mud-slinging, today is the day the men and woman - bigoted or otherwise - of Great Britain go the polls.

Red or Blue, Gordon or David, SaBro or SamCam, one lot of lying, self-serving shysters or the other? Or even the Lib Dems? Who knows, but I for one hope the Conservatives fail miserably, if for no other reason than I want to see what the headline would be in tomorrow's Sun.

Someone who has two big decisions to make today is Dan Gleeson, and one can only hope he is more decisive at the ballot box than he is when it comes to signing a contract, otherwise he could be there all night. According to this morning's Evening News the right back is considering lucrative offers from two Conference clubs alongside the new deal offered by United.

"I'm a Cambridge lad and it's a hard decision to make. It's something I've got to carry on thinking about and I might have made a decision by the weekend," he said, hurridly stuffing the Luton Homebuyers Guide into his inside pocket. "It's not easy, because I've been at United since I was 15, apart from the year away at Notts County. And I've supported the club since I was a kid, standing in the Newmarket Road end."

Players always make these kind of wishy-washy statements at this time of year, but money usually talks in football, and - sadly - it probably will in this case. After all, what's years of standing on a terrace as a child worth when you compare it to an extra £200 per week in your pocket?

If, as has been suggested, Gleese is being offered a substantial payrise elsewhere, I for one wouldn't blame him for taking it. Realistically his career is unlikely to progress above League Two (no offence Dan if you're reading), and at 25 he is at an age where he needs to start maximising income before he retires.

Making a sidesways move is a little unambitious, but it's understandable in this case, and if he does go I'll wish him all the best. I'll be more offended if Crow or Saah, two players who are easily capable of playing in League One, join other Conference clubs. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough which way their votes have gone.

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New year stuff

Happy new year folks. My journey back through the channel tunnel seems to have transported me to a bizarre parallel universe where League One Leeds are capable of beating Man United, the BBC deem it appropriate to make the awful Colin Murray the new face of the BDO world darts championships, and Histon think they can nick three of our senior players.

Perhaps Tony Roach has made it his new year's resolution to troll United as much as possible in 2010. Not content with declaring that the Villagers are the "biggest club in Cambridge" (anyone see the slight flaw in that? Unless Histon and Impington has jumped across the A14 in my absence that is) today Stutes acting manager Uncle Fester revealed he is interested in signing up Gleeson, Willmott, and Beesley: "I’ve always been a big admirer of Beesley, Gleeson and Willmott, I’ve spoken to a director at Cambridge and made my interest known to him," he said, before adding that he had put in a call to Sir Alex to enquire about Wayne Rooney's availability, and was looking at Stephen Gerrard as a potential replacement for Josh Simpson.

If this wasn't such a transparent PR stunt I would be quite happy at the prospect of someone taking Beesley and Willmott off our hands. Still, it's good to know that the Roach magic wand has done it's work on the Villagers precarious finances, to the extent that they can now put in bids for full time players and expand their stadium's capacity to 5,200 (average attendance so far this season; 973). Obviously there's nothing to worry about at the Glassworld.

Sadly Lingy must have plenty on his mind after our 4-1 defeat at Stevenage, not least that we could go into our Trophy game against Eastbourne next week with a backline comprised entirely of players yet to hit puberty. With Saah and Hatswell suspended, and Tonks on his way to Oxford, a totally CRC-spawned defence of McAuley - Coulson - Hudson - Coakley looks a distinct possibility, acne-tastic!

However, perhaps the freezing weather will come to our aid and the game will be postponed; it's bad times when the Trophy is all you've got to play for, but it has to be our priority now, and I would rather the senior players missed a league game than this, gulp, important cup tie.

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Team of the decade

So soon it will be farewell to the noughties, a decade which has introduced us to the delights of Big Brother, Facebook, Lady Gaga, and a plethora of gadgets prefaced by the letter i.

But while it may have been a good time for social networking gurus and singers of indeterminate gender, the last ten years have not been a vintage period in the long and glorious history of Cambridge United.

Nevertheless, in between relegations, ground sales, Wembley failures, and a million managerial changes, a few talented players have donned the amber and black, so in their honour here is the U’s Blog team of the decade, lining up in a 3-5-2 formation.

Goalkeeper: Lionel Perez.
People seem to remember Perez as just being a bit of a clown, and while his many eccentricities were certainly a big part of his appeal, he was a top drawer keeper as well. Sadly a good goalie can only make a difference behind a decent defence, and while he kept us up virtually single-handedly in 2000/01, he could do nothing to stop our demise the following year. Shame that penalty against Tranmere didn’t go in.


Defender: Dan Gleeson.
One of our most consistent performers since he made his debut in back in 2003, Gleese certainly still has the potential to go on and play at a higher level. Hopefully that will be with United, and I can see him moving to centre half from his usual right back slot in the next couple of years.

Defender: Mark Peters.
Our team at the moment is crying out for a slightly younger version of Mark Peters. An unflappable presence in our first three seasons in the Conference, he could head a ball further than most mere mortals could kick it, and was the master of the tactical foul on the half way line to stop a promising opposition attack. Add to that his exploits between the sticks as emergency keeper, and you have a legendary figure.

Defender: Michael Morrison.
Another extremely consistent player, who looked at home in the first team from the moment he made his debut in 2005. Now fulfilling his undoubted potential in the Championship with Leicester City.

Right Wing: Shane Tudor.
Ok, so Tudor was a grumpy little git who had ideas above his station, and of course went off on that legendary rant about how rude the people of Cambridge are. But on the pitch you couldn’t really fault him, and in 2002/03 he was virtually unplayable as Shaggy’s swashbuckling team took Division Three by storm. Sadly injuries meant he was never the same after that, but he was one of few players to shine in the 2004/05 relegation season, netting some crucial goals including the last minute winner against Oxford.

Central Midfield: Luke Guttridge.
I never took to Guttridge at all, but like Tudor I’ll grudgingly admit he was quite good. His best year was 2003/04, when his goals were the only thing that kept us clear of a relegation battle in Division Three. Some unwise career choices since then have meant he probably won’t fulfil his promise, and I’m sure we were all secretly pleased when Danny Webb lamped him one in that game against Shrewsbury in 2004/05.

Central Midfield: Paul Wanless.
I said Perez kept us up single-handedly in 2001, but that’s a bit unfair on Wanny, whose goals also made a big difference. A last minute winner against his boyhood club Oxford was one of 11 strikes that season, and while injuries and his blatant dislike of John Beck hampered him in 2001/02, he played his part in 2002/03, memorably scoring an equaliser at Lincoln when United were down to nine men.

Central Midfield: Paul Carden.
A key player in both our failed promotion attempts, Cardy has been a bit less consistent this term, but remains one of the top midfielders in the Conference. Also deserves credit for the admirable diplomacy he showed after his best mate the Brabinator was given the boot in the summer.

Left Winger: Courtney Pitt.
As the only player to have featured in all five of our Conference seasons so far, Courts deserves to be in the team on the basis of his longevity alone. Capable of playing like Leo Messi one minute, Kingsley Mbome the next, he continues to divide opinions among U’s fans but would always be one of the first names on my team sheet.

Striker: Dave Kitson.
Bizarrely described as a “wandering gipsy” (is there any other kind?) by Paul Wanless in his LDV Vans final programme pen pictures, the ginger genius is probably the best striker I’ve seen play for United. Shame the move to Stoke hasn’t really worked out for him.




Striker: Scott Rendell.
In terms of haircuts, a Kitson/Rendell partnership would be a barber’s nightmare. Scotty isn’t a particularly good footballer, but his habit of finding space in the six yard box should be enough to help carve out a decent career, and you can’t really argue with his record of 30 goals in 55 league games for United. The best one was certainly the last – the winner against the Chavs in the play offs.

Subs: Danny Potter, Andy Duncan, Rob Wolleaston, Tom Youngs, Robbie Simpson.

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U's:0 Bluebirds:2

A lot may have happened over the summer, but if our first match is anything to go by, on the pitch it's very much as you were.

Gary Brabin's players, coached by Gary Brabin's former assistant, put in the kind of performance Gary Brabin's Cambridge United gave us all too often last year, especially pre-Christmas. Passing in abundance, pretty football in abundance, cutting edge in, er, the opposite of abundance. All that was missing to complete the feeling of de ja vous was a big bald scouser prowling the technical area like a caged rhino.

We even had Carden wheeling out the Brabinator's old catchphrases. We "footballed them to death" apparently, and while that may well be true, it's no good if you don't score. For me the game is a good example of why we shouldn't reappoint Brabin as, without a Rendell-esque poacher, his tactics are seriously flawed. Playing with two attacking wingers means neither of the central midfielders are able to commit too far forward, and if you have strikers who either want to drop deep (Crow, Beesley, Phillips), or run the channels (Holroyd), there's never anyone in the box when we've got the ball in wide areas.

There wasn't much to report in the way of chances in a first half dominated by United. Willmott looked about our most dangerous player, linking well with the lively front pair of Beesley and Holroyd. The winger curled a shot just over the angle of post and bar, then set up Holroyd for an effort which drew a smart save from Stuart Tomlinson. We were also denied a fairly obvious looking penalty when Parky exchanged passes with Beesley and was pulled back in the box by a defender.

Referee Martin had earlier marked himself out as a pedantic knob by harshly booking Barrow's Jason Walker in the first couple of minutes for the cardinal crime of failing to retreating at a free kick. He further incensed the visitors when he sent off left back Sean Newton, who picked up a second yellow for rash challenge on Holroyd in the 52nd minute. It was a lunging tackle, but perhaps a talking to only would have been sufficient?

I only say that because United are shocking against ten men, and fell behind when Carlos Logan pinged in an excellent free kick from just outside the area. No chance Danny Potter, 1-0 to the dark side.

Reason and Gleeson shot over from distance, before Glees went one better, picking up a pass from Beesley and hitting a peach of a half volley which Tomlinson acrobatically pawed away. But all United's efforts were coming from outside the box, and you never got the feeling an equaliser was imminent.

With minutes remaining, Barrow wrapped up the match, when the busy Walker latched on to a long clearance, and tried to flick it over Josh Coulson. The ball struck the unfortunate defender on the his outstretched arm for a clear penalty, which Walker himself converted, rolling the ball past the diving Potter. 0-2.

A lot of people moaned about the referee after the game, and while he gave us virtually nothing in the second half, United were the architects of their own downfall. The sad thing is you could have probably predicted the way the game was going to go before kick off, and while we didn't play that badly, a new manager and fresh ideas are needed asap.

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Built on his excellent pre-season form with a faultless display.

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Lilywhites:2 U's:2

It may seem like a million years ago, but we actually played a football match on Saturday.

What turned out to be the Brabinator's swansong ended in a vaguely entertaining draw, with City once again looking impressive under the tutelage of Gary Roberts. If they can keep their players fit, they'll surely have another tilt at promotion from the newly named Zamaretto League.

For United the future is less certain after yesterday's events. Looking back, the starting line up was certainly one that screamed managerial defiance, with Holroyd on the left wing and world player of the year-elect Daryl McMahon on the right. The obvious flaw in this plan is that McMahon's right foot is strictly for standing on only, which meant time and time again he got the ball in space, only to check back and cross from deep, rather than surging on to the byline.

City scored first through ex-U Ashley Fuller. A quick counter attack following a United corner saw Antonio Murray feed Steve Gentle, whose cross was emphatically finished by Fuller from just outside the box. 1-0.

At the back for United, trialist Rhys Day looked like the kind of cool, commanding presence we could do with to replace Bolly, although if he has any sense he'll be getting his agent to seek out alternative employment as I type. He was certainly more impressive than Hatswell, who seems to treat pre-season friendlies with the contempt of a man who'd rather have stayed on the beach for a couple more weeks. Hats looked decidedly dodgy on a number of occasions, but I'm sure he'll pull his socks up before the season starts.

United equalised from the unlikely source of Gleeson, who went on a Carlo Alberto-esque overlapping run, playing a quick give and go with McMahon and slipping the ball past City keeper Zac Barratt from close range. 1-1 at half time should've been 2-1 to the home side, but another former United man, Dave Theobold, missed a simple headed chance at the far post just before the whistle.

Murray hardly stuck out like a player who should be at a higher level, and missed a simple chance in the second half when he got free of his marker but glanced a header wide. He made no mistake moments later though, after Josh Coulson got in a muddle and gifted him the ball in the box in front of goal. No chance Potter, 2-1.

Danny Crow was one of many United substitutes, and if his performance is anything to go by he has (unfortunately) not changed much since last season; lots of nice touches in the build up but no end product. He was denied by Barratt from close range after being set up by Carden, and could've won the match but headed a Parky cross wide with the goal gaping. There is definitely a good player in there somewhere, but if he doesn't improve his finishing I doubt he'll last long under the new regime.

In between times a more deadly striker, Holroyd, had equalised. Again it stemmed from good work by Gleeson, who reacted quickly when a Sam Ives shot was blocked, and sent over a low cross which super Chris tapped in from three yards.

I guess any conclusions that could've been drawn from the match are now null and void. It will be interesting to see how we line up against Blackburn tonight, with Cardy presumably having taken the reigns. You would imagine a few prospective managers will be in the stands as well, crowd watching could be more interesting than the match itself.

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Scored one, made another, and generally looked solid. If we don't sign another centre half, I reckon he'd do a job there too.





Banter of the Match: Day to Gleeson during the second half - "I feel like I've had five heart attacks". Pre-season fitness levels are obviously high for our prospective new number five.

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U's:0 Gulls:2

So, er, yeah, I was kidding myself when I said I could handle us losing if we played alright. There is no honourable defeat in the play-off final; you either win and go home happy, or lose and fall into a black chasm of despair. There is no middle ground.

But make no mistake, we played a lot better this year than last. I guess that's a bit like saying dying by lethal injection is better than drowning, but we were evenly matched with Torquay except in the area that matters most; finishing. While the Gulls took their chances when they came along, we did what we always do when we go behind and started fannying about and trying to walk the ball into the net. Needless to say their keeper Michael Poke wasn't tested much in the second half.

I was so depressed after last years final that I didn't even do a match report, and as such didn't voice my opinions on Wembley Stadium, the soulless home of football. While it's a perfectly decent modern arena, it lacks any kind of character, and when one considers some of the truly unique stadiums built in recent years, such as the Allianz Arena in Munich, I don't think it's unreasonable to have expected more for the near £800million build cost.

Anyway, United started like a team that had enjoyed a purposeful, hype-free, pre-match build up, knocking the ball around and using the full width of the pitch. Courtney Pitt in particular was taking up some great positions on the left, but unfortunately he and Robbie Willmott seemed to have left their crossing boots on the bus. Time after time attempted centres thumped into the first defender with frustrated team mates left waiting in the centre.

Poke was only called into action once, to foil Willmott after he had wriggled free on the right, but other than that our efforts all missed the target, with a Hatswell blaster deflecting wide, Rendell shooting over, and Lee Phillips going close with a left-footer from outside the box that fizzed past the post.

Not that Adam Bartlett was having a particularly busy debut between the United sticks. He confidently grabbed a couple of crosses, but he hadn't been extended before Torquay took the lead. Poke's long clearance was flicked on by Tim Sills to Elliot Benyon, who had time and space to play in Chris Hargreaves. My blogging rival from the South West charged through the Hatswell-shapped hole in our backline, and beat Bartlett with a rising shot from 18 yards. Disaster, 1-0.

Sills had earlier not endeared himself to the United fans by catching Hatswell with a forearm smash, for which he somehow escaped a booking. If his plan was to unsettle our number six then I think it worked, as the Torquay man won the majority of their aerial duels for the rest of the match, and nearly added a second goal before half time only to be denied by a lunging tackle from Dan Gleeson.

The goal seemed to have sapped all the confidence from the United players, and this translated into the stands, where the mood soon changed from cautiously optimistic to decidedly gloomy. One particularly charming chap sitting behind me spent the entire second half yelling "this is s*** United, you've got no bottle", a statement which - though ultimately accurate - was perhaps a bit premature with the game still in the balance.

Part two started with another patch of United possession which was ultimately about as fruitful as the Kiwi tree plant on my patio (ie not very). Rendell almost connected with Pitt's chipped pass, and Gleeson drove in a cross/shot that was deflected behind, but much like the Altrincham game you never felt that a goal was imminent.

And our chances of getting back into the match evaporated on 70 minutes, when Bolly got his marching orders. Having already been booked, he needlessly flattened Benyon near the touchline and was sent off. Five minutes later it was 2-0, as Wayne Carlisle found space on the right, and landed a cross right on Sills' ugly, alien-shaped, head. The sight of Devonian celebrations at the opposite end of the pitch was no less galling than last time.

Where we go from here I don't know. With budget cuts on the way, and the future of the management team uncertain, it looks like it will be another interesting summer at the Abbey. When are the fixtures coming out?

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Solidity personified.









Rip off of the Match: A toss up between £1.90 for a bottle of water, or £5 for a programme which appears to have been copy-and-pasted together in about half an hour.

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Creepy Crawley:2 U's:2

We’ve all seen things happen on a football pitch which defy any kind of sense or logic – remember this? Or this?

Now we can add the unbelievable sending off of Ben Farrell in yesterdays match at Crawley to that list. Having been shown a yellow card in the first half, the ginger genius surged into the box in the 76th minute but was halted by a challenge from Sam Rents. Undeterred, Faz picked himself up, and looked set to put in a cross until he was stopped in his tracks by a blast on the refs whistle.

Penalty to United perhaps? Oh no, referee Ian Cooper amazingly deemed that Farrell had taken a dive, despite the fact that no one appealed and the player had picked himself up and carried on playing. A second yellow, and the inevitable red, card followed. I do feel sorry for poor old Farrell, who has now been on the end of two absolutely scandalous refereeing clangers this season which have ended in dismissal.

And unfortunately this was just one of a host of awful awful decisions by Mr Cooper, a referee so clown-like they may as well have stuck a red nose on him and called him Krusty. It’s a sad day when I find myself agreeing with Neil Warnock, who I have just seen on ITV’s The Championship declaring that “there is no respect campaign”, but sadly he’s absolutely spot on; How can the players be expected to respect these jokers when they get no respect in return? Will Mr Cooper look at the video and admit he got it wrong? I doubt it. If he does, will anything happen to him in terms of sanctions? Again, I doubt it.

Anyway, back to the beginning, and once again I have to take my hat off to poor old deprived Steve Evans, still struggling manfully against the tide of extreme poverty: “I would dearly love a budget close to that [of Nigel Clough’s Burton Albion], never mind what is being spent by the big six or seven clubs in the Blue Square Premier,” he remarks in his programme notes. In the same article he welcomes a new signing, erstwhile Weymouth top scorer Michael Malcolm, who is presumably playing for nothing other than the love of Crawley Town and the honour of working alongside Super Paulie Raynor. Bless.

United once again lined up in a 4-3-3 formation, with captain for the day Beesley in the hole looking to feed Evil and Willmott. And once again, it all looked a little disjointed, with the U’s players staying huddled tightly in the centre while Crawley exploited the space on the flanks.

First chance of the match came the way of giant striker Steve Fletcher, who found space at the far post to reach Thomas Pinault’s cross but could only direct his header into the waiting arms of Potter. His opposite number, Simon Rayner (no relation), was perhaps a bit fortunate when his sliced clearance fell to Beesley, who could only lob the spinning ball wide from 30 yards with the goal gaping.

Malcolm saw a free kick deflected over by Wayne Hatswell before Crawley took the lead. Beesley gave the ball away in midfield, and Crawley broke down the right. Forrest whipped in a good cross which spun up off Josh Coulson’s leg, allowing Jon Paul-Pittman to drive the ball past the helpless Potter from eight yards. Young Josh should have perhaps cut the ball out, but it was a tidy finish from the muscular Pittman. 1-0.

Mr Cooper was fairly quiet in the first half, although he did serve notice of what was to come by only cautioning Thomas Pinault for a nasty late lunge which left Gleeson in a heap on the touchline. One suspects it was perhaps the proximity of the incident to the Crawley bench that saved the French midfielder from a dismissal.

Anyway, the fun and games really started in the second half. United had spent the final 15 minutes of the first half and the first five of the second camped in and around the Crawley box, and won a corner in the 50th minute when Convery’s shot was deflected behind. The midfielder himself swung the corner over and the ref immediately blew his whistle and pointed to the spot. What the penalty was actually for remains unclear, but Big Lee wasn’t asking any questions, and drilled the kick high to Rayners left. 1-1.

Of course, when you get a soft penalty you always worry that the referee is going to want to even things up, and unfortunately he did just that by awarding the Red Devils an equally baffling spot kick. Rents launched a long free kick into our box, and as one of their players battled with two of ours, Mr Cooper spotted another infringement. Pinault made no mistake with the penalty, as Potter helpfully dived out of the way. 2-1.

More controversy followed as Farrell’s header appeared to be blocked on the line by the hand of Giles. Nothing doing said the Cooperman, who was now awarding a string of soft free kicks in the home sides favour, as their players went to ground, shall we say, a little easily. The only real chance they had was when Pittman got free again but fired wide with Potter at his mercy.

Then came the two sending’s off. Farrell was soon followed down the tunnel by Rents, who launched a horrific two-footed, knee-high assault on Challinor which left the midfielder with a serious looking injury. Even Cooper could hardly get that decision wrong.

Jardim replaced Challinor (a substitution which could have happened a bit earlier to be honest), and as the match ticked into seven minutes of injury time, United came up with a deserved equaliser.

Convery, who had been the subject of much abuse from yours truly throughout the game, picked up a loose ball midway inside the Crawley half, and advanced a few metres before cracking in a terrific low shot which fizzed into the corner beyond the helpless Rayner. Cue bedlam amongst the United faithful; it felt like we’d won the world cup rather than scraped a point in a Conference game, as the pent up anger of all the injustices suffered at the hands of the man in black exploded in a wave of joy.

Given the circumstances and the quality of the opposition, a draw isn't a bad result. We really need a win tomorrow night against York though, otherwise we are going to start losing touch with the leaders.

Man of the Match: Dan Gleeson - Covered a lot of ground to provide width in attack, as well as for the most part defending assiduously.

Toilets of the Match: The Broadfield Stadium is an archetypal new non-league ground, but the toilets in the away end are certainly of Premier League quality. It makes you wonder why they didn't use some of their lavatory budget on more important things, such as building a fourth stand to go along the far side of the pitch.

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