Fallon goes again, and other stuff

Not content with nicking our title of "biggest club in Cambridge", the Villagers seem intent on taking the "most shambolic team in Cambridge" crown too.

Steve Y'know's sacking, just two days after he returned to work, was such a ridiculous (and funny) event that I'm half expecting Tony Roach to tear off his face and reveal that he is actually George Rolls masquerading in a Roach suit. Rolls/Roach hasn't even bothered to come up with a new reason for firing Fallon, instead just copying and pasting the statement he made when Lingy left and changing a couple of the names:

"After resuming the role only yesterday it soon became very evident that underlying irreconcilable differences between Steve and myself and the Board would preclude the partnership ever working for the benefit of Histon FC so it was a unanimous decision of the Board of Directors to relieve him of his responsibilities with immediate effect," the Histon supremo said, as he removed the last trace of the Baldwin era from the the Glassworld Stadium.

One suspects the irreconcilable differences between the pair may be small, bald, and Uncle Fester-shaped, as Lewer has, er, stepped into the shoes of his ex-boss on several occasions in the past. It should also be noted that none of these forays into management have gone particularly well, so I wish the Villagers luck with that one, they'll probably need it.

Meanwhile, United secretary Wayne Purser is on his way, meaning there is a vacancy in the club's backroom to be filled ahead of the AGM. A job for former Histon secretary Mrs Baldwin perhaps? Certainly it's looking more and more likely that she and/or her husband will be involved with United at some point in the future.

Read more...

Steve Y'Know gets the heave ho - Fallon suspended by Histon

In the same way that listening to political debate on talkSPORT reassures me that I'm not that stupid, watching the Histon "fairytale" unravel in such hilarious fashion makes me feel a lot better about United's current situation.

Because however boring this season may have been so far, it could be a lot worse, we could be Histon. Regular readers will know I don't hold Steve Y'Know's managerial skills in particularly high regard, and that he went down a lot in my estimation when he got involved in that very public slanging match in the 07/08 season about car park spaces, and programme notes, and other such trivial matters.

But ostensibly I think he's a decent guy, and as someone who has been so central to the Villagers rise from obscurity he doesn't deserve to be treated so shabbily in public, no matter what is going on behind the scenes. If nothing else their board have scored massive PR own goal here, and I don't really see how they can remedy the situation without a permanent parting of the ways.

Whoever is in charge, the future isn't looking particularly bright for the Villagers, and I for one won't shed any tears if they disappear back from whence they came. Their handful of proper supporters may not deserve it, but I have no sympathy for the majority of head-in-the-sand, rent-a-fans who have jumped on their increasingly shaky looking band wagon in recent years, and taken great pleasure from our various catastrophes. Looks like they could soon be reaping what they have sewed.

Read more...

Meanwhile, over at the Glassworld...

Or, given the news of JB's potential departure, should that be;

Read more...

Lol, Us rckd by txt gte

The big breaking story from the weekend was the revelation in the NLP that Alan Lewer could take legal action against United after being "offered" the United managers job.

It made a nice headline for the afforementioned publication, even if the story itself had more holes in it than a large lump of emmental. The most amusing part of the whole thing was the suggestion that Chairman George sent Lewer a text saying "sorry not u" by way of informing him he didn't have the job. Presumably Ling got one saying "Gt the jb, cngrts", or something similar. Still it could've been worse - George could've done a Phil Hughes/Darren Bent and announced his decision to the world at large using Twitter. Perhaps that's something to bare in mind next time we need a new boss.

Moving onto matters at hand, and United complete their pre-season schedule tonight when they host The Villagers in the Cambs Professional Cup final, a fixture second only to the Champions League final in terms of its importance in the domestic football calendar. Or at least that's the impression you'd get if you listened to Steve Y'Know.

"It's all right having pre-season friendlies, but you need the more competitive games to work on one or two things," Y'Know told the CEN, before bizarrely adding: "Hopefully, tonight will give us the chance to fine tune and get more geared up, especially in terms of the refereeing. You can get away with one or two things in friendlies and we know we won't get away with them tonight and have to treat it properly."

Competitive game? Must be why Ling is fielding a second string line up. I'm glad to see they're taking it so seriously though, perhaps this is all part of the plan to grow the Histon brand on a global scale. Expect a four-page pull out in the paper if they win tonight.

Read more...

Sweep sweep

I may have previously suggested on here that Steve Y'Know doesn't seem to do very much at Bridge Road other than give a vaguely respectable face to the John Beck regime.

But I'm coming to realise that he does indeed fulfill an important role for the Villagers - that of chief sweeper. Whenever a problem arises that may be detrimental to their friendly village team image, he picks up his broom and helps Baldwin sweep it under the carpet. In fact, it's probably more crowded under that carpet than it is at your average Histon home game; Craig Pope, his racist remarks, and phantom retirement, are under there, as is Erkan Okay and his drunken behaviour. Now they've also made room for the case of ineligible player Ben Coker, which was highlighted in Sunday's Non-League Paper. For those that haven't seen the story, Histon were fined because Coker, who made one appearance in Stutes colours back in August, did not have the correct international clearance.

"I thought that had all be forgotten about," Y'Know told Radio Cambs this morning during a break in his busy brushing regime. This implies that it may have previously been in the public domain, something we all know is impossible given that our much loved local media rigidly stick to their policy of never printing or broadcasting anything negative about Histon FC. He then added something to the effect of: "I'm sure the FA would always follow the rules to the letter." Is that so Steve? Only you weren't so sure of that when they confirmed something that you didn't like, i.e. that Pope is a nasty racist.

I don't particularly have a problem with the way Histon have been treated in this instance; the case is obviously very different to the problems faced by Oxford, Mansfield, et al. But what does amuse me is their constant state of denial about anything they don't like. Perhaps someone should explain to the Villagers that everyone makes cock ups from time to time, and that attempts to highlight these cock-ups are not necessarily driven by some kind of shadowy agenda that is trying to bring about their demise.

I notice Baldwin is at it again on the BBC website: "It's very unfortunate, but this happened in August, clearly there are some people who would love to see Histon's play-off challenge destabilised with these stories coming out now," he said. I hope the poor little petals aren't scarred too badly by this scandalous persecution. After all, they are only a village team.

Read more...

Cliche watch

Compiling a list of all the stupid, overused, phrases in football would be a long and boring task.

The one that immediately springs to mind is “world class”; how on earth do you define this? Is it relative to the players you’re facing? Or to the great names that have gone before? It’s all very confusing, and a bit pointless.

Another good one is “must-win game”, which gets trotted out frequently by stupid pundits and managers with a limited vocabulary. How many games are actually “must-win”? Apart from those on which promotion and relegation issues directly hang, there can be very few encounters that deserve this billing.

And what happens if a “must-win game” ends in a draw? Nothing much, that’s what, as the Villagers and the Chavs found out last night after playing out a 0-0 stalemate.

“This is a must-win game for both sides,” declared Steve Y’know on Radio Cambs before kick off. Yet by the end of the match he was “quite pleased” with a point. Which is it to be Steve?

You would think that Y’know would have plenty of time to compose what he was going to say pre and post game these days, seeing as he seems to do very little other than stand on the touchline looking vacant. There was a very telling shot during the Setanta coverage which showed Histon’s manager (sic) standing quietly in the corner of the dressing room while John Beck bellowed the half time team talk. Still, they always say they’re a partnership, and I’m sure Steve plays a vital role in putting out the cones, or filling the water bottles, or something.

I watched a bit of the game and it was awful. I was especially disappointed with Stevenage, who looked very mediocre for a side on a 22-game unbeaten run. While I know it’s difficult to play any kind of decent football on that thing that passes for a pitch in the village of the damned, if we continue our recent form I see nothing to fear from either side should we meet them in the playoffs.

Other results went our way last night too, notably Torquay blowing one of their games in hand by only drawing at home to Grays. It just goes to show that it’s much better to have the points on the board at this stage of the season. Actually, that sounds like a bit of cliche, I'll just stop talking now.

Read more...

Histon Village FC - The family club

We all know that Histon FC are a lovely little village club run at no cost by an army of volunteers, and whose players are honest part-timers who hold down jobs as butchers, bakers, and candle-stick makers while playing for little more than 50p per week and the honour of walking out on the hallowed glassworld turf. In short, they are a credit to non-league football.

But events at said stadium this week have me wondering whether the marvellous Stutes are all they’re cracked up to be. Firstly, we have Cambridge City boss Gary Roberts labelling them “a bit despicable” over their handling of Josh Simpson’s potential move to the Glassworld Stadium. “I suspect that there may be an agenda that Josh can leave Cambridge City for anywhere but Histon”, warns Steve Fallon, demonstrating that he has ample room on both his shoulders for chips.

Then we have the curious case of Craig Pope, who has mysteriously accrued a four-game suspension for the start of next year. Could this perhaps, maybe, possibly have something to do with alleged racist abuse directed at LFW during the Boxing Day match last season? I couldn’t tell you for certain, as there has been no mention of his ban on the Histon website or in the press.

However, I’m sure our favourite family friendly club wouldn’t dream of intentionally sweeping something which could tarnish their squeaky-clean reputation under the carpet. So if Pope has indeed been found guilty then I’ll expect to see a statement condemning his actions in the local media in the coming days. It’s the only correct course of action that a family friendly club could take, isn’t it?

Read more...