U's 4 - 1 Haze - Growing up badly

None of us are getting any younger. Except policemen. And maybe Cliff Richard.

It was my birthday last week, and while I'm still clinging onto my 20's, I'm beginning to feel the pull of middle age. On Sunday I mowed my own lawn for the first time in my life (that's because I've only just acquired a lawn by the way, not because I usually get someone else to do it), and spent time tidying the shed, feeling a vague sense of satisfaction on completion of my tasks. It's worrying, very worrying.

But I hope that as I get older some things never change, such as the slight feeling of awe that comes with meeting a professional footballer, even a fifth tier one with questionable arm tattoos.

Because before Saturday's match with Hayes and Yeading, I got to shake hands with the great Danny Crow, and the occasion had me stumbling over my words and grinning inanely like a bashful school girl. Danny went on to prove his greatness by netting two more goals as United strolled to a comfortable victory over Hayes, but it was the performance of his strike partner, Adam Marriott, that really caught the eye.

Maz is different gravy, ketchup, mayonnaise, burger sauce, or any other condiment you can think of. He seems to [cliche]have everything in his locker[/cliche], and while he is still a bit immature as a player - as evidenced in the second half of Saturday's game when he brilliantly bamboozled three players but then tried to score from a ridiculous angle when a pass to the unmarked Simon Russell would've left the winger with a tap in - next season I think he'll be making big waves.

Other than that it was fairly routine stuff, with McAuley, Russell, and Palmer particularly standing out. Lingy's comments at the end about "peoples favourites leaving" in the close season suggest that, as expected, the end as nigh for Danny Potter, which would be a shame, but probably not a surprise given the form of Simon Brown and the need to cut costs - I would assume Pottsy is one of our higher paid players.

Elsewhere, Stevenage are in the football league, Man Utd are back in the title race, and Histon are likely survive their relegation battle due to other teams being shitter than them. Forget immigrants or knife crime, if these aren't examples of Broken Britain then I don't know what are, and I'll vote for any MP who promises to come up with a suitable solution.

*Send us your 20-word match report on the Hayes and Yeading game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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U's 3 - 1 Salisbury City; Model professionals?

There's been some great PR coming out of the club recently.

Following on from the (sadly ill-fated) Danny Crow burrito scheme is the news that Robbie Willmott and Danny Potter will be taking to the catwalk at the Grand Arcade this Friday. They couldn't have picked two more appropriate players - Potter is probably plucking his eyebrows as we speak while Robbie waxes his skinny little legs. Actually that's an awful thought, so I'm going to move swiftly on. Yuk.

But both players might want to consider full-time modeling careers, because at this rate they will find it rather difficult to force their way back into the team when they recover from their respective injuries. In Danny's absence, Simon Brown's seven appearances for the U's have coincided with our seven-game unbeaten run, which continued last night with a fairly routine 3-1 win over Salisbury last night.

And as for Willmott, U's fans will be crossing their fingers and toes that Lingy can extend Scott Neilson's stay at the Abbey. Because so far the on-loan Bradford man has been absolute dynamite, providing pace and a goal threat which we have been lacking from midfield all season. It seems unlikely Neilson will be back next term, and if he does scamper back to Valley Parade perhaps Robbie can use the former Cambridge City man as a benchmark for the kind of performances he should be contributing to the side.

Anyway, again United were far from perfect in dispatching the Whites, but played some good stuff at times after falling behind to an early piece of brilliance from Matt Tubbs. The front four linked up particularly well, stringing together a couple of excellent one-touch passing moves, and though Antonio Murray's performance was a bit in and out he did score a brilliant goal so fair play to the lad.

Ling thought we were comfortable winners, but I'm not sure I agree with that. Salisbury always looked capable of scoring on the break, but for the most part were too sh*t to take advantage. United on the other hand took three of their four main chances, with the other one hitting the underside of the bar, and that kind of clinical-ness is pleasing to see.

So still plenty for Lingy and co to work on, but if we could repeat that level of performance in the 46 games of next season I think we'd finish in or around the play-offs. Wrexham next, bring it on.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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Creepy Crawley:1 U's:0 - loan rangers needed (and 20 word match reports)

I wasn't at Crawley on Saturday and am not sure what to make of the performance.

On the one hand the radio commentators were making sound as if we were knocking the ball about with the vim and precision of Brazil circa 1970, and that we were unlucky not to win comfortably. However, a glance at the messageboard suggests most people who were in attendance weren't so impressed.

Either way, it's obvious that Lingy needs to dip into the loan market, not least because Pottsy looks set to be sidelined for eight - 10 weeks with shoulder-knack. Re-enforcements are definitely needed up front as well; I know Phillips hasn't had that many games but surely time must be running out for him - I'm not entirely sure what he contributes, as he doesn't seem to be an out-and-out target man or a goalscorer. And as much as I harbour vague hopes that the Forest Green version of Mark Beesley will turn up before the end of the season, it seems highly unlikely, and I'm a bit bemused as to why Lingy continues to use him as a non-impact sub when Adam Marriott seems to have a greater effect on games.

On the match itself, here are the latest crop of 20-word match reports, the Broadfield toilets are getting a bit of love, and rightly so;

Powderpuff in attack.
I had two tuna sandwiches.
The Broadfield toilets are good.
Tired now, after a 'nothing' game.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

Encouraging-ish
Crow needs to practise shooting
He shanked two sitters
- Ling's Awkward Smile

The Us put in a disapponting performance @ Crawley The side looked void of ideas and inspiration.D Crow had Us best chance.
- @footiedad

Russell looked good, Reason played well, Evans was loud, Crow missed a sitter, the toilets were nice. And we lost.
- @RounderBrighton

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Villagers:1 U's:1

Some things in life are inevitable.

Every year politicians make things up, chocolate bars get smaller (and more expensive), and the X-Factor winner produces the Christmas number one single, and there’s very little anyone can do about it. As a Cambridge United fan, another sure thing to add to the list is that Histon will always score a late goal.

Said goal is likely to be a scrappy affair stemming from a set piece of some description. Predictably enough, it happened again yesterday; they got an injury-time corner, the ball was headed on by one of their giant players, bobbled around, hit another giant player (Matt Langston) in the face, and ended up in the net.

It was disappointing to concede yet another late goal, but United were far from their best for two-thirds of the game, so a draw was probably a fair result. Histon dominated proceedings in a low-quality first half, played out in an atmosphere more akin to a pre-season friendly than a local derby. If you read the local press or listen to Radio Cambs you may get the impression that the Stutes are now a slick passing team akin to Brazil 1970 or Arsenal circa 2004. And while it's true to say that, in the absence of the gardening John Beck, they are a little bit less direct, the only time they really looked like scoring was from set pieces. Plus ca change.

It took vital blocks from Anthony Tonkin and Brian Saah to stop Josh Simpson and Nat Knight-Percival, while Danny Wright spurned a glorious chance, robbing Paul Carden and sprinting clear on goal, only to drag his shot wide when it looked easier to score.

Apparently Lingy gave the players a deserved roasting at half time, and they came out for part two looking much more purposeful. Nevertheless, it was still the home side who created the better chances, and a big up and under from John Kennedy set up a chance for Simpson, who was denied by a stretching save from Potter. From the resulting corner, Pottsy also had to be at his best, leaping high to palm away a header from convicted racist Craig Pope.

Simpson hit another shot straight at the U's keeper before United took control. The Pittster was in inspired form, tormenting the Histon back line with some superb dribbles which had Pope and co tied in knots. A couple of runs resulted in shots which drew great saves from Danny Naisbett, while Danny Crow had a diving header blocked, and a angled cross-cum-shot from Hatswell almost looped in at the far post.

When the breakthrough came, it was inevitably Courtney who was the provider, picking up a short corner and driving a low cross into the six yard area where the predatory Holroyd turned in his 12th goal of the season. 1-0.

It couldn't last though, despite the best efforts of Potter, who made a superb save to keep out Billy Crooks' curling free kick. From the resulting corner, Langston climbed highest to win the initial knockdown, and, well, you know the rest.

We were atrocious in the first half, but much better in the second, and hopefully we can take the latter form into our next two, winnable looking, matches.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - Made up for last seasons error at the Glassworld with a fine performance.




Debate of the Match: An argument between two of our more, er, special supporters (I won't name them, but I'm sure you can guess who they are) about the merits of Danny Crow. Needless to say it was a highly intellectual exchange.

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U's:0 Scousers:1

Everything seemed sparkly and new at the Abbey last night; new manager, new kit, new optimism about the forthcoming season.

There wasn't much new on the pitch though, with Martin Ling's amber army looking suspiciously like Paul Carden's amber army, and Gary Brabin's amber army before that; lots of possession, but no real cutting edge. The new manager will need to sort that out one way or another before the season starts.

Still, it was nice to hear some actual analysis of the game from our new gaffer, rather than the succession of ers and cliches we'd come to expect from his predecessor.

"I spoke to them about being a passing team and that was really the one comment I made before the game, but I think one or two of the players took me a bit too literally," noted the new man, and it's true that in the first half over-elaboration was the name of the game, with passes going back and forth across the pitch to no great effect. The back eight (for want of a better phrase) were also far too deep, meaning that, although Bees and Crow held the ball up fairly well, they had little support and didn't work the visiting keeper.

Liverpool's expensively assembled collection of European teenagers could have been out of sight by half time but for some wayward finishing and good goalkeeping from Danny Potter. An error by Rory MacAuley in the second minute gave lanky manchild Jordy Brouwer a clear run on goal, but Pottsy saved well with his legs. The same player then rattled the post when it seemed easier to score, following up an Andras Simon shot that had also been well saved.

United were better after the break, thanks in part to substitutions which saw Holroyd inject some pace up front, and the Pittster make a welcome return to the left flank. Courtney entered the field with the grin of a cheshire cat enjoying its ninth life, and immediately gave the team a bit more balance and energy. We all know that a fully focussed Pitt is an asset to the squad, so hopefully Ling will be able to get the best out of him if he stays.

Anyway, yeah, United could've taken the lead in a 20-minute purple patch at the start of the half, which saw Beesley shoot inches wide, then fire a 25-yarder just over. But once Carden and Reason departed to the bench, we lost our grip on the game, and Liverpool resumed control. The only goal was absolute peach of a free kick, struck from just outside the box by Gerado Bruner. His curling effort initially looked to be too high, but had wicked dip on it and fizzed over Potter into the net. You can only admire such technique really. 1-0.

After that the Scousers hit the post, and Potter made a couple more good saves, before Glees strode forward and unleashed a rocket which Liverpool's substitute stopper Martin Hansen palmed away at full stretch. This proved to be our last attack of note in the match, and 1-0 it finished.

United didn't play particularly badly, and the defence is looking better with every passing game. But the nagging doubts about our forward line remain, and while all five strikers in the squad are quality players, we need one of them to become the proverbial fox-in-the-box if we're to sustain a promotion challenge.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - A busy evening for United's number one, who was only beaten by a special goal.





Day trippers of the Match: The huge party of American students that filled the Habbin, all of whom brought at least one disgusting, overpriced, hot dog. I'm sure it was profitable night at the tea bars.

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It's nearly here...

Are you nervous yet? I myself didn't sleep very well last night, although I think that had more to do with the late dinner we had at Anatolia than any kind of Wembley-related anxiety.

Apparently some people have been taking their mind off the match by distributing an army of gnomes around the city. Whatever floats your boat I suppose - I'm just hoping that the amber army dwarfs the support from Torquay, and that Gary Brabin pixies the right team for the occasion.

The elf (sorry) of Danny Potter seems to be a bit of a concern ahead of tomorrow's match, with the club having drafted in Adam Bartlett to provide experienced cover. Obviously you'd prefer not to have to change your keeper for the most important game of the season, but Bartlett comes highly rated and I'm sure will do a decent job if called upon.

Knowing the Brabinator's predeliction for tinkering, I wouldn't put it past him to decide that now is the time to unleash his new 2-1-3-1-3 reverse Christmas tree sweeper formation. But assuming he doesn't have a brain storm, the team mostly picks itself, save for two positions: the left wing and up front.

It's probably a straight fight between the Pitt and Parky for the left flank role. I'm a big fan of Courtney, so would probably stick with him from the start, with Parky to come off the bench if required. The latter has rarely been very effective when starting a game anyway, and it having a natural left-footer offers much better balance. We can only hope that the Pittster has one of his good days if he does play.

Up front I guess Brabin is likely to stick with Rendell and Phillips, but I think that I would bring Holroyd back at the expense of the ex-Torquay striker. The Gulls defenders are big boys, and seemed to cope well with Histon's strong arm tactics in the second leg of their play-off semi final. So it would seem to me that the pace of Holroyd is more likely to trouble them than the power of Phillips. Plus the big pitch at Wembley would give super Chris plenty of space in which to operate.

Whoever plays, let's hope they perform a bit better than the shambles of last season. I think I can (just about) handle us losing again, so long as we do ourselves justice this time. Que se ra, se ra, and all that.

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