U's 4 - 1 Haze - Growing up badly

None of us are getting any younger. Except policemen. And maybe Cliff Richard.

It was my birthday last week, and while I'm still clinging onto my 20's, I'm beginning to feel the pull of middle age. On Sunday I mowed my own lawn for the first time in my life (that's because I've only just acquired a lawn by the way, not because I usually get someone else to do it), and spent time tidying the shed, feeling a vague sense of satisfaction on completion of my tasks. It's worrying, very worrying.

But I hope that as I get older some things never change, such as the slight feeling of awe that comes with meeting a professional footballer, even a fifth tier one with questionable arm tattoos.

Because before Saturday's match with Hayes and Yeading, I got to shake hands with the great Danny Crow, and the occasion had me stumbling over my words and grinning inanely like a bashful school girl. Danny went on to prove his greatness by netting two more goals as United strolled to a comfortable victory over Hayes, but it was the performance of his strike partner, Adam Marriott, that really caught the eye.

Maz is different gravy, ketchup, mayonnaise, burger sauce, or any other condiment you can think of. He seems to [cliche]have everything in his locker[/cliche], and while he is still a bit immature as a player - as evidenced in the second half of Saturday's game when he brilliantly bamboozled three players but then tried to score from a ridiculous angle when a pass to the unmarked Simon Russell would've left the winger with a tap in - next season I think he'll be making big waves.

Other than that it was fairly routine stuff, with McAuley, Russell, and Palmer particularly standing out. Lingy's comments at the end about "peoples favourites leaving" in the close season suggest that, as expected, the end as nigh for Danny Potter, which would be a shame, but probably not a surprise given the form of Simon Brown and the need to cut costs - I would assume Pottsy is one of our higher paid players.

Elsewhere, Stevenage are in the football league, Man Utd are back in the title race, and Histon are likely survive their relegation battle due to other teams being shitter than them. Forget immigrants or knife crime, if these aren't examples of Broken Britain then I don't know what are, and I'll vote for any MP who promises to come up with a suitable solution.

*Send us your 20-word match report on the Hayes and Yeading game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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Hayes & Yeading:3 U's:0 - all at sea

What did you do with your Saturday?

Mine was spent in not-so-sunny Hunstanton, which I was pleased to discover hasn’t changed at all since I holidayed there as a child; same amusement arcades, same fair ground rides, same bizarre shops – the kind which only seem to exist in Norfolk these days – selling everything from knitting needles to out of date crisps. It was like stepping back in time.

Something else which hasn’t changed since my childhood is United’s propensity to try and ruin my weekend. With all due respect etc etc there’s not really any excuse for capitulating at the hands of a part-time outfit like Hayes & Yeading, and by all accounts we were pretty dire, although these excellent video highlights would seem to indicate we created enough to chances to get something out of the game:

Anyway, I’ve been having a think about what’s going wrong so far this season, and I’ve come to the conclusion that our team is severely lacking in leadership. When you think back to the 2007/08 season, JQ’s side was full of figures who could be relied on to rally the troops when the chips were down. Say what you like about players such as Danny Brown, Mark Albrighton, or the great Mark Peters, but even if they were playing badly they could be relied on to gee the players up a bit. Who have we got in the current team who you could say the same about? Cardy? Danny Potter perhaps?

Of course, the squad isn’t that much different to last season, when we did alright, but even then I always felt we lacked a degree of resilience. If we went behind in a game, or playing badly, we struggled to turn it around, and that problem has been exacerbated so far this term.

Lingy gets the benefit of the doubt from me for now, but his talk of attitude problems will be pointless unless he makes changes. I was disappointed to see Challinor back on the bench on Saturday at the expense of Jordan Patrick or Adam Marriott - it doesn’t exactly show a great degree of trust in the young players if he’d rather have a transfer listed player in reserve. I hope his talk of being happy to blood the youngsters isn’t going to turn out to be just lip service.

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United out to avoid hairy moments at Hayes

I've had a couple of shocks to the system this week.

One was the completely unexpected, but truly marvellous, beard sported by David Beckham in England's 3-0 win over Belarus. You don't see many fully bearded footballers these days, let alone those with facial hair of a different colour to that on top of their head. It impressed watching Sunderland manager Steve Bruce so much that he decided to give the former England skipper the Man of the Match award, despite the fact that he [Beckham] was only on the field for half an hour. Well done Becks.

The other was Danny Crow's revelation that he "doesn't start scoring till October". This will come as a shock to United fans, most of whom probably didn't realise that he starts scoring at all. I did laugh when I heard Crowy labelled "CUFC's Carlos Tevez" on Radio Cambs the other day, because the similarities between the two are becoming more obvious by the week: Neither of them score many goals, but do run around a lot to no great effect, and get a lot of love from fans for it. Both are short and, er, a bit dumpy, and both have increasingly preposterous hairbands. Hopefully Crowy has no plans to join a band playing shantytown/urban music, I'm not sure the world is ready for that.

After that superb goal last week I shouldn't mock I suppose. And Carlos Crow and his team mates have a good chance to add to their respective goal tallies tomorrow when we face lowly Hayes and Yeading. With Willmott and Parky set to be sidelined, it will be interesting to see which way Lingy chooses to go; will he pick the obvious replacement, Jordan Patrick, or will he decide to play the slightly more experienced Sam Ives out of position?

For me this would seem like the ideal opportunity to blood JP against opposition who, with all due respect, are unlikely to be the strongest we encounter this season. But on the evidence of his reign so far, I think ML will opt for the safety-first option of Ives. Hayes have only picked up one point from a possible 18 in their last six games, so regardless of the line up, a United win is really the only acceptable result.

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