This, that, and the other

(Pic (c) The Guardian)

Watching England labour to an uninspiring 0-0 draw with Algeria reminded me of the frustration I often feel when playing FIFA 09 on the Wii.

When the player I'm controlling in the game moves forward, he usually has no options on because his team-mates are standing, static and dis-interested, right next to an opponent. This kind of behaviour is perhaps excusable from the pixelated characters of a video game, but less so from England's mighty heroes, who are supposedly capable of bringing the World Cup home, but on recent evidence would struggle to win the Setanta Shield.

Plenty has already been written about the Algeria match, which in terms of entertainment and quality ranked alongside the United v Chester game last season as one of the worst 90 minutes of football I've ever seen, so I won't say too much more, except that it brought to mind a quote from Pete Davies in his excellent book on Italia 90, All Played Out. Following England's draw with Ireland in that tournament, Davies remarked that, while the rest of the world were trying to put on a show, the teams from the British Isles were "stinking the place out" with their terrible football. Twenty years on it seems little has changed - we still stink.

Back home, Lingy is back from his holidays, and as you will have seen, has completed the signing of Forest Green's Conal Platt. I'm not going to pretend to know anything about him, but on the surface he would appear to be a good signing; experienced enough to know what the Conference is all about, but young enough to improve as we progress. But as a left-winger with the initials CP, he has a hard act to follow, and I hope he is up to the challenge of filling Courtney's giant shorts. Not literally of course, that would be impossible.

Over in the village of the damned, JB is licking his wounds after being gazumped by the mighty, er, Halesowen in his quest to bring in a new centre back. He has apparently now turned his attentions to players from France in a bid to unearth the new Armand One.

"Using my contacts and managerial know-how, I jumped on a plane and went and saw some players at a showcase in Paris. A couple looked like they might be able to do a job for Histon Football Club, so we're looking at the logistics of bringing them over and having another look at them," he told the CEN. Sounds like a winner to me, anyone got Kingsley Mbome's number?

Read more...

Hoooooooooooooof

I'm surely not the only one who often has Mika popping into their head when they think of Brian Saah.

The thought process usually goes something like this; Brian Saah >>> full name Big Brian Saah >>> or just Big Brian >>> is beautiful >>> I start humming the Mika hit Big Girl (you are Beautiful).

Now that the former Leyton Orient man has penned a new two-year contract, I reckon Big Brian, you are beautiful could be a new terrace anthem. Make it happen Newmarket Road End, make it happen.

Anyway, it's happy, and perhaps surprising, news that Big Brian will be donning the amber and black next year. Of the three out-of-contracters, I think that in a way his would have been most damaging departure. Although it's probably more difficult to replace a 20-goal striker like the Crow, who today completed his transfer to Luton (hiiiiisssssss), Saah is a Ling man, so if he had left us it wouldn't have said very much about our promotion chances next year, or about our manager's ability to attract the players he wants.

The football being played at the Glassworld Stadium is likely to be considerably less beautiful than our number five now that John Beck is back at the helm.

"I don't think there's another manager in the country that can do this job and offer what Histon needs," said a typically bullish Beck, after signing a two-year contract at the Glassworld.

In a way he's right: there probably aren't many managers more suited to taking the bunch of young, inexperienced, players the Villagers are likely to end up with next year and turning them into an ultra-fit, well-disciplined, football machine. However, after his last, disastrous, spell at the helm of United, it remains to be seen whether he can be successful without the steadying hand of Steve Y'Know to keep him in check and stop him from going too mental. Should make for interesting viewing either way.

Read more...

Ups and downs and ins and outs

Nothing much has happened CUFC-wise in the last week or so.

Various players are ruminating over new deals, others are seeking alternative employment, and Jez George is still walking the length and breadth of the country in the company of a plethora of minor celebrities, but other than the usual deathly calm of the close season has descended upon the Abbey.

It's somewhat busier elsewhere, with the make-up of the Conference play-off finals having been decided in the last couple of days. Alfreton face Fleetwood in the North, Bath and Woking square up in the South, and one of York or Oxford will be joining Stevenage in League Two.

York saw off Luton to make the Wembley final, and as you've probably seen on television, the Luton fans didn't take too kindly to being condemned to another season of trips to the likes of Histon and Tamworth, invading the pitch to try and get at the York fans and players.

The scenes at Kenilworth Road were quite extraordinary, but maybe they will force the Hatters hierarchy to get a grip of their problematic supporters. It may, as chairman Nick Owen has said, be a minority causing the trouble, but it's a sizable minority, and they've been at it all season, as we found out at first hand. There's no place for that kind of behaviour in modern football, and the hefty fine which should be heading their way will perhaps help to lift the collective denial which seems to afflict their more sensible supporters.

From a purely footballing perspective, it would have been better for us had Luton got promoted, as I suspect they are the only one of the four play-off sides who will be stronger next season. Still, it's quite funny that they've got to do at least another year of purgatory, and fair play to the chaps at FC Boro for this amusing little piece rubbing their noses in it.

Meanwhile, the Villagers are on the look out for a new boss, although they apparently haven't told the old boss. Good, professional, stuff from Bridge Road as usual. The brief job advert on their website doesn't give much by way of a personal specification, but presumably anyone with experience in tree surgery will shoot to the top of the short-list.

Read more...

U's release retained list & light at the end of the tunnel for the Villagers?

Since the departure of Tony Roach, it's all been a bit quiet at the Glassworld.

No lunatic ramblings about being the biggest club in Cambridge, no sackings of club legends, and no employing amateur aborists, it's all got a bit boring.

But fresh from their heroic escape from relegation (courtesy of, er, Forest Green failing to beat Grays), the Villagers are obviously in a good mood again, as they've wheeled out some other chap to make the bizarre suggestion that they might go full time next year.

"More facilities are available during the day because we don't need them to be floodlit. During the evening we need lights, which makes it more expensive and harder to find the right ones," said Alan Soraff in yesterday's CN. Ahh, so it's floodlighting costs which have got them into a financial mess, I don't why nobody has thought of this before. Instead of going full-time, perhaps they could buy all their players miners helmets with lamps on them. Then they could train anywhere, at any time, and illumination wouldn't be a problem.

Uncle Fester, who apparently still thinks he'll be in a job next season despite a record of three wins in 22 games, also chipped in: "It's easier. They eat together, work together and, to be honest, that is what builds spirit in the club." Interesting that, because Fallon and Beck never seemed to have a problem instilling team spirit into their part-time charges. Perhaps the problem lies elsewhere, hmm.

In all seriousness, going full-time has often marked the death-knell for a lot of small teams without the fanbase to support it and, lighting problems aside, I fail to see how it would make sense for the Villagers.

Over at United, the retained list came on Monday and didn't throw up any big surprises. You can't really argue with Lingy's reasoning, as outlined in this CN article, but one thing which did worry me a bit was the goalkeeping situation, with Ling explaining: "Simon [Brown] has done a great job since he came here and if he signs, I see him as a player-coach, who will also put pressure on another senior keeper."

I kind of assumed Brown would be our only custodian next season, with Laurie Walker or a similar young player providing back up. The revelation that another senior keeper could be arriving adds fuel to the rumours that Danny Naisbett is making the switch from across the A14. I'll be a bit disappointed if we've got rid of Potter to sign that useless lump, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what transpires.

Read more...

U's 2 - 0 Tamworth & pwoper nawtiness at Histon?

Who would've thought that by the end of this season we'd be the most stable football club in the county.

P*sh are searching for the fourth manager of their doomed stay in the Championship (yet Barry Fry somehow remains), City are contemplating life in Newmarket, and the Villagers are illegally chopping down trees and being investigated by the old bill over "financial irregularities."

Financial irregularities which, if you believe the line being peddled in today's CN, would, if proven, definately be the sole responsibility of the Baldwins. Definately.

Now far be it from me to defend our new chairman in waiting consultant, but it seems he and his wife have become a convenient peg on which to hang all Histon FC-related woes. If some wrong-doing has gone on at the Glassworld in the last few years then it seems unlikely that he (Baldwin) was the only one that knew about it.

Perhaps the new regime are keen to distance themselves from this because they know there's more bad news on the way. Or perhaps there's nothing in this story at all and it's just an attempt to smear the "old" order. We shall see in due course.

Anyway, on the pitch United have surely now banished any lingering relegation fears after last night's routine 2-0 win over Tamworth.

I can't really think of much to say on what was a fairly non-descript affair. No one played particularly well, or particularly badly, though as a unit we were poor in the first half, not helped by an even poorer ref. But Tamworth weren't very good either, and I always felt we'd go on to win, which we duly did. We seem to have forgotten how to lose at the moment, which is a pleasant change from earlier in the season.

Now we're safe, maybe the manager will consider giving a few more of the youngsters a run out in the first team. It would be good to see the likes of Jordan Patrick, Adam Marriott, and maybe even Luke Berry starting games between now and the end of the season.

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Read more...

20 word match report - U's 2 - 1 Villagers

Yet another home game tonight, good times. Hopefully we can pick up another win and push on up the table towards the dizzy heights of the top half.

Cardy is talking up Salisbury in his pre-match interview, but the team he's describing bear little resemblance to cynical, defensive, diving bunch that usually arrive from Sarum. Whatever, any side which is "boosted" by the return of Danny Webb should be beatable if we pull our finger out.

Looking back for a moment, here are three 20-word match reports on the Histon triumph:

Phew!
I'd forgotten what a home win was like.
The chaps came back nicely
To win, almost like JQ's days.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

I thought Histon were poor,
and I was so pleased to finally win at home,
that I forgot my flask
- Face

Deciduous village people felled by green shoots of U's young saplings.I still pine for my free burrito (thanks Danny!)
- A truly pun-tastic effort from @RounderBrighton

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Read more...

U's 2 - 1 Impington Lumberjacks

Is it just me who feels like they've woken up in 2002 today?

The national media have gone into a frenzy because David Beckham will miss the World Cup, as if the former England skipper picking up an Achilles tendon injury is a catastrophic blow to our slender chances of winning the tournament in South Africa.

I feel sorry for Becks, who always strikes me as a decent chap, but in footballing terms I reckon his absence will be about as damaging as that of Wes Brown.

Still, it would be nice to go back to 2002 in some ways; United were in the league, albeit getting thumped every week in what is now League One, while Histon were in some obscure regional division on the brink of their "fairytale" rise.

Happily the signs are that normal service could soon be resumed. On Saturday's showing the Villagers are a shadow of their former selves, while Lingy's United are beginning to resemble the kind of team which can achieve success in the Conference. Our 2-1 win, courtesy of goals from Scotty Neilson and Paul Carden, lifts us to within four points of Histon with a game in hand.

Coulson and Saah (my man of the match) were excellent at the back, and Gleeson showed what an excellent player he is when replaced the disappointing Kevin Roberts. Carden also put in his best showing for ages, dominating the middle of the park and enjoying a good tussle with their outstanding player, Glen Southam.

Scott Neilson was a lot better than at Kettering on Tuesday, and always looked menacing when he got on the ball. And up front, though Crow was quiet by his own high standards, Willock again impressed, and must be staking his claim for a contract at least until the end of the season. A word too for Antonio Murray, who made an impact from the bench and was involved in both goals.

You worry (well, not that much) for the Lumberjacks, whose new players, Southam aside, didn't look up to much. Sheringham's hopeless, brainless, penalty, amazingly awarded for a handball only the referee saw, summed up their efforts in attack, which lacked any kind of quality. If their budget is cut even further I don't see their stay in this division lasting much beyond next season, assuming they survive this time around. And in truth their pathetic support of 305 for what is supposedly a derby game doesn't really merit a place at this level of football. Not an original thought I know, but a true one none-the-less, and they contributed little to what was a very flat atmosphere.

So yeah, all in all a pleasing result from what was a very poor game. It's a bit worrying that it took a goal from them to get us going, but credit to Lingy for making a double change - bringing on Murray and Gleeson - which turned things around. Our manager has shown himself to be astute and decisive on several occasions this season when it comes to making substitutions, and that bodes well for the future.

What also pleases me is the team's resilience, having ground out three wins in the last week despite, by all accounts, not dominating any of the games. Certainly the Kettering and Histon performances have been reminiscent of Quinn-era United, and if Lingy can re-create a side in that one's image, we could be in for fun times next season.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Histon match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Read more...

Timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

It's common knowledge that Histon are all about saving money at the moment, and it seems the playing budget isn't the only thing being cut back at the Glassworld.

For the Villagers have landed themselves in hot water by chopping down a load of protected trees near their ground.

Stop laughing at the back, it's a serious business, and one which could see the cash-strapped Stutes lumbered with a £20,000 fine. To make matters worse, the perpetrators seem to have conveniently vanished.

"We had an address for them [the tree fellers] but when we tried to contact them there was no-one there. They are travellers and must have moved on. They have disappeared," a folorn sounding Tony Roach told today's CN. Travellers moving on eh, who could have forseen such a thing? I hope the Villagers got a receipt.

Histon seem to lurch from one disaster to another at the moment, with Roach, Uncle Fester, and the players contradicting each other from one day to the next. One can only think that it's karma coming round to kick them up the backside for all the gloating and smugness we have had to endure from the Glassworld in recent years, and hopefully they will be destablised enough that we can at least manage a draw in Saturday's match.

Before that United travel to Kettering tonight looking to extend our unbeaten run to five games. Is it too late for a play-off charge?

Read more...

Barrow 0 - 1 U's; Oh happy happy day

What a wonderful morning to be alive; the sun is shining, the birds are singing - or in the case of Royston's pigeons, crapping on the heads of unsuspecting shoppers - and United have finally won a match.

By the sounds of things our 1-0 triumph over the mighty Barrow wasn't the prettiest but, to quote Ian Holloway, at least we got her in the taxi to vanquish what has been a barren spell to end all barren spells.

New loanee Scott Neilson netted the winner on his debut, and much as I'm loathed to comment on a strike I didn't see, it sounds as if it was the sort of one-on-one opportunity which Robbie Willmott, the player Neilson was signed to replace, has repeatedly missed this season. To have someone in the side with a bit more composure in front of goal could make all the difference.

Reading Neilson's comments in yesterday's NLP, he doesn't sound too keen to stay longer than he has to, but with so many games in March he could be heading back to Valley Parade come the end of the month with United safely lodged in mid-table.

I know I shouldn't be getting ahead of myself, but with home games against Histon, Salisbury, and Tamworth coming up, there are points there for the taking, and if we can grind out a draw (or better) at Kettering tomorrow night the squad should be in good spirits ahead of the so-called derby next Saturday.

What sort of team Histon will be fielding remains unclear, with six of their big name players told to stay away from Saturday's match with Gateshead. "It's come to a point now when we had to take a stand and tell people that nobody is bigger than the club," laments Uncle Fester in today's CN. A noble stand, but one which could come back to haunt them if their new side doesn't gel quickly. The villagers probably still need two or three more wins to ensure they don't get relegated, and if they don't start picking up points fast we won't be the only ones looking over our shoulders.

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Barrow match. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Read more...

Trophy, turncoats and trashy television

I awoke this morning to the sound of Carlos Crow roaring a battle cry of "We can still make the play-offs."

Not because young Mr Crow was in my house at 7am you understand, that would have been a bit weird. No, it was on the radio, and although I initially thought he must have signed for another club, it turns out he was referring to United. It (finishing in the top five) all sounds a bit optimistic to me, but I suppose if Loose Women can win an award for being the best factual programme on television then anything is possible.

A more realistic prospect is the FA trophy, and United's hopes of reaching round three remain alive - albeit on life support - after Tuesday's shambolically entertaining 2-2 draw with Eastbourne. The two teams will be sick of the sight of each other by the time next weeks replay is over.

However, our yearly Trophy showdown with the Villagers may have to be cancelled due to allegations that they fielded an illegible player in their 3-0 first round victory at Maidstone. Expulsion from the competition awaits if they are found guilty at an FA hearing on Monday. I like Uncle Fester's assertion in today's CN that they'll get off the hook because "it's not like we signed David Beckham to win us the tie." That's bound to go down a treat with the FA. But perhaps if Histon do get expelled Stutes chairman Tony Roach will reassess his statement that Fallon is the most unprofessional person he has encountered in football...

Anyway, the CN also reports that, surprise surprise, Gareth Baldwin is considering an offer to come on board at United, I don't think anybody saw that coming. Personally I have mixed feelings about his potential involvement. On the one hand he undoubtedly has good commercial contacts which could be utilised to get money into the club, but on the other the way he has treated United fans over the last couple of years, particularly last season during the Glassworld lock out fiasco, has been nothing short of atrocious. You would hope that if he is appointed he will not be given carte blanche to do what he likes as Chairman George was.

Read more...

New year stuff

Happy new year folks. My journey back through the channel tunnel seems to have transported me to a bizarre parallel universe where League One Leeds are capable of beating Man United, the BBC deem it appropriate to make the awful Colin Murray the new face of the BDO world darts championships, and Histon think they can nick three of our senior players.

Perhaps Tony Roach has made it his new year's resolution to troll United as much as possible in 2010. Not content with declaring that the Villagers are the "biggest club in Cambridge" (anyone see the slight flaw in that? Unless Histon and Impington has jumped across the A14 in my absence that is) today Stutes acting manager Uncle Fester revealed he is interested in signing up Gleeson, Willmott, and Beesley: "I’ve always been a big admirer of Beesley, Gleeson and Willmott, I’ve spoken to a director at Cambridge and made my interest known to him," he said, before adding that he had put in a call to Sir Alex to enquire about Wayne Rooney's availability, and was looking at Stephen Gerrard as a potential replacement for Josh Simpson.

If this wasn't such a transparent PR stunt I would be quite happy at the prospect of someone taking Beesley and Willmott off our hands. Still, it's good to know that the Roach magic wand has done it's work on the Villagers precarious finances, to the extent that they can now put in bids for full time players and expand their stadium's capacity to 5,200 (average attendance so far this season; 973). Obviously there's nothing to worry about at the Glassworld.

Sadly Lingy must have plenty on his mind after our 4-1 defeat at Stevenage, not least that we could go into our Trophy game against Eastbourne next week with a backline comprised entirely of players yet to hit puberty. With Saah and Hatswell suspended, and Tonks on his way to Oxford, a totally CRC-spawned defence of McAuley - Coulson - Hudson - Coakley looks a distinct possibility, acne-tastic!

However, perhaps the freezing weather will come to our aid and the game will be postponed; it's bad times when the Trophy is all you've got to play for, but it has to be our priority now, and I would rather the senior players missed a league game than this, gulp, important cup tie.

Read more...

Snow joke as fixtures are put on ice (ba-dum-tish)

The annual bout of snow we seem to get in this country nowadays is manna from local newspaper heaven.

After all, why bother digging around for actual stories when you can fill pages with pictures of smiling kids on sledges, user-generated content (ie, people sending in pictures of their snowmen), and long-winded quotes from weathermen who don't really know what they're talking about. My working week is done before it's even started, hurrah

Groundsmen up and down the country weren't so pleased to welcome the waves of wintry weather which swept across the Uk last Friday, laying waste to the entire Blue Square Premier weekend programme including United's planned Friday night clash with Oxford.

In a way I was disappointed to see the game be called off as I was looking forward to seeing how we'd fare against an outfit who thus far have been comfortably the best in the division. However our Christmas schedule looks considerably less daunting now that the toughest match of the four has been taken out of the equation. Mansfield haven't been in great form recently, so I'm fairly confident we can get something there, and in the home game against Stevenage, although the away leg in Chavsville will be a very tricky proposition. Of course we'll have to play Oxford at some point, but psychologically the postponement may have been a timely one - a heavy defeat on Friday night could have set our confidence back ahead of three matches in quick succession.

Meanwhile Steve Y'Know's future with the Villagers remains about as certain as Eurostar's festive timetabling plans, with talks continuing about the size of his pay off how his situation can be resolved. It might be a good idea if somebody got Stutes chairman Tony Roach a Harry Potter outfit for Christmas, as it seems he has been busy with his magic wand since taking over:

"I’m fed up of reading about Histon being in crisis – there was a crisis when I took over, but there isn’t now," he told the CN, before adding “everyone’s working hard and working together, and there are a lot of positives at the club at the moment.” It seems that, despite their well publicised differences of opinion, Roach has inherited his predecessors penchant for spin. Plus ca change.

Read more...

Steve Y'Know gets the heave ho - Fallon suspended by Histon

In the same way that listening to political debate on talkSPORT reassures me that I'm not that stupid, watching the Histon "fairytale" unravel in such hilarious fashion makes me feel a lot better about United's current situation.

Because however boring this season may have been so far, it could be a lot worse, we could be Histon. Regular readers will know I don't hold Steve Y'Know's managerial skills in particularly high regard, and that he went down a lot in my estimation when he got involved in that very public slanging match in the 07/08 season about car park spaces, and programme notes, and other such trivial matters.

But ostensibly I think he's a decent guy, and as someone who has been so central to the Villagers rise from obscurity he doesn't deserve to be treated so shabbily in public, no matter what is going on behind the scenes. If nothing else their board have scored massive PR own goal here, and I don't really see how they can remedy the situation without a permanent parting of the ways.

Whoever is in charge, the future isn't looking particularly bright for the Villagers, and I for one won't shed any tears if they disappear back from whence they came. Their handful of proper supporters may not deserve it, but I have no sympathy for the majority of head-in-the-sand, rent-a-fans who have jumped on their increasingly shaky looking band wagon in recent years, and taken great pleasure from our various catastrophes. Looks like they could soon be reaping what they have sewed.

Read more...

AOB: Fergie Jr not too Posh to get the push

Another day, another set of amusing stories emerging from our near neighbours.

Both P*sh and the villagers seem to have been reading The art of communication according to CUFC given their latest faux pas.

Gareth Baldwin has followed the lead of our dear ex-chairman Rolls, and decided to carry out all communication by text message, much to the chagrin of Tony Roach. It's not all bad news for Histon though, as the new chairman is confident their financial difficulties will soon be a thing of the past.

"I feel very optimistic that we can get through this period and I don't think we're going to have to sell loads and loads of our players," Roach told the CN, while trying to lasso a nearby flying pig. "Our aim is to have cleared all overdue debts by January." That's alright then, they'll be able to turn down those multi-million pound offers for Danny Wright which have no doubt been flooding in over the weekend.

P*sh meanwhile are following the other golden CUFC rule and not saying anything at all about the future of their manager Darren Ferguson, despite the fact that news of his departure is about as secret as Paris Hilton's bedroom preferences.

It's hard to feel sorry for convicted wife-beater Ferguson, and given the amount of cash he's spent I wouldn't go along with those who claim him to be one of the best up and coming managers in the game. But on the other hand, the poor bloke can hardly do more than win automatic promotion in consecutive seasons. The scummers haven't had a great start, but seeing as they have very few players with Championship experience in the squad this season was never going to be a walk in the park.

Still, if you accept the money of a millionaire on an ego trip I guess you have to live with the consequences. Hopefully Barry Fry will be named caretaker, I'm sure he can keep them ticking over at the bottom of the table for a few weeks.

Read more...

Meanwhile over at the Glassworld...

What a pleasant change it is to see United going about their business quietly and efficiently, while our near neighbours have endured more departures than the government's drugs advisory panel.

I like this interview with new Histon chairman Tony Roach, where he says the Villagers will need to play decent football and attract bigger crowds to survive, but in the next breath adds that they're going to sell all their best players. Still, anyone who's seen Danny Wright play will know he's clearly a championship striker in the making, and P*sh will be getting the chequebook out in the next few days. Don't worry Stutes fans, salvation is in sight. Maybe.

Meanwhile, new pictures have emerged of the Baldwins, John Beck, and Peter Webster departing the Glassworld Stadium.

Read more...

Lincoln:1 U's:3 - Cups half full and cups half empty

A little while back, I asked my, ahem, army of Twitter followers whether they could think of a better nickname for our manager than Lingy.

My favourite response was the suggestion from @chrisozz that "If he were a wrestler I think he'd be called The Linguist."

This seems particularly apt given some of the things Martin Ling comes out with. After all, the best nicknames are often the most ironic.

"Today [Sunday's game at Lincoln] was another banana skin and we came through it with flying colours," announced our leader, taking the english language and pushing it through the mangle a couple more times for good measure. "It's a difficult place to come and you have to come and do the job and do it right and we did that today."

It was always going to be an uphill struggle for Lincoln without the presence of the legendary Terry Fleming, who dropped out of the match because playing against United would have been too emotional for him he had a prior engagement. Had the gold-toothed schemer been on the pitch, flopping his rubbish long throws into the box at every opportunity, the outcome could have been far different.

Although by the sounds of things we were below par again, I think that Sunday's match was always going to be a no-win situation for United - if you lose it's massively embarrassing, and if you win you always think you should have beaten such lowly opposition more convincingly. Nevertheless, [cliche]the main thing is that we're through to the next round[/cliche], and have a winnable looking game on the horizon against Blue Square North side Ilkeston.

Meanwhile the Villagers have come up with a cunning plan to make up for the lack of Cup income - a hastily arranged glamour friendly with, er, Peterborough reserves. Sounds like a sure-fire money spinner to me, I hope Cambridgeshire Police have been informed about the massive crowd that will no doubt be in attendance.

Presumably Steve Y'Know will also continue hawking Lanre Oyebanjo round to all and sundry: "He will go somewhere in the January window I would imagine, so we’ve got to do what’s best for us and for Lanre," a not-at-all-desparate sounding Y'Know told the CN last week after P*sh agreed to take the right back on trial. Methinks a long hard winter could be in prospect at The Glassworld

Read more...

Villagers:1 U's:1

Some things in life are inevitable.

Every year politicians make things up, chocolate bars get smaller (and more expensive), and the X-Factor winner produces the Christmas number one single, and there’s very little anyone can do about it. As a Cambridge United fan, another sure thing to add to the list is that Histon will always score a late goal.

Said goal is likely to be a scrappy affair stemming from a set piece of some description. Predictably enough, it happened again yesterday; they got an injury-time corner, the ball was headed on by one of their giant players, bobbled around, hit another giant player (Matt Langston) in the face, and ended up in the net.

It was disappointing to concede yet another late goal, but United were far from their best for two-thirds of the game, so a draw was probably a fair result. Histon dominated proceedings in a low-quality first half, played out in an atmosphere more akin to a pre-season friendly than a local derby. If you read the local press or listen to Radio Cambs you may get the impression that the Stutes are now a slick passing team akin to Brazil 1970 or Arsenal circa 2004. And while it's true to say that, in the absence of the gardening John Beck, they are a little bit less direct, the only time they really looked like scoring was from set pieces. Plus ca change.

It took vital blocks from Anthony Tonkin and Brian Saah to stop Josh Simpson and Nat Knight-Percival, while Danny Wright spurned a glorious chance, robbing Paul Carden and sprinting clear on goal, only to drag his shot wide when it looked easier to score.

Apparently Lingy gave the players a deserved roasting at half time, and they came out for part two looking much more purposeful. Nevertheless, it was still the home side who created the better chances, and a big up and under from John Kennedy set up a chance for Simpson, who was denied by a stretching save from Potter. From the resulting corner, Pottsy also had to be at his best, leaping high to palm away a header from convicted racist Craig Pope.

Simpson hit another shot straight at the U's keeper before United took control. The Pittster was in inspired form, tormenting the Histon back line with some superb dribbles which had Pope and co tied in knots. A couple of runs resulted in shots which drew great saves from Danny Naisbett, while Danny Crow had a diving header blocked, and a angled cross-cum-shot from Hatswell almost looped in at the far post.

When the breakthrough came, it was inevitably Courtney who was the provider, picking up a short corner and driving a low cross into the six yard area where the predatory Holroyd turned in his 12th goal of the season. 1-0.

It couldn't last though, despite the best efforts of Potter, who made a superb save to keep out Billy Crooks' curling free kick. From the resulting corner, Langston climbed highest to win the initial knockdown, and, well, you know the rest.

We were atrocious in the first half, but much better in the second, and hopefully we can take the latter form into our next two, winnable looking, matches.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - Made up for last seasons error at the Glassworld with a fine performance.




Debate of the Match: An argument between two of our more, er, special supporters (I won't name them, but I'm sure you can guess who they are) about the merits of Danny Crow. Needless to say it was a highly intellectual exchange.

Read more...

Friendly village team update

September 1st: Histon FC launch their 2009/10 club brochure. P29, HISTON; A COMMUNITY CLUB.
"Histon continues to progress as a family-friendly club at the heart of the local community."

September 16th: Cambridge Evening News - HISTON GIVE OKAY CHANCE TO RETURN.
"Erkan Okay has been handed the opportunity to earn himself a shock return to Histon.
The defender, who parted company with the Stutes by mutual consent in January after being found guilty of assaulting a policeman in Newmarket, has signed reserve-team forms after being released by Chelmsford."

Read more...

Meanwhile, over at the Glassworld...

Or, given the news of JB's potential departure, should that be;

Read more...

Lol, Us rckd by txt gte

The big breaking story from the weekend was the revelation in the NLP that Alan Lewer could take legal action against United after being "offered" the United managers job.

It made a nice headline for the afforementioned publication, even if the story itself had more holes in it than a large lump of emmental. The most amusing part of the whole thing was the suggestion that Chairman George sent Lewer a text saying "sorry not u" by way of informing him he didn't have the job. Presumably Ling got one saying "Gt the jb, cngrts", or something similar. Still it could've been worse - George could've done a Phil Hughes/Darren Bent and announced his decision to the world at large using Twitter. Perhaps that's something to bare in mind next time we need a new boss.

Moving onto matters at hand, and United complete their pre-season schedule tonight when they host The Villagers in the Cambs Professional Cup final, a fixture second only to the Champions League final in terms of its importance in the domestic football calendar. Or at least that's the impression you'd get if you listened to Steve Y'Know.

"It's all right having pre-season friendlies, but you need the more competitive games to work on one or two things," Y'Know told the CEN, before bizarrely adding: "Hopefully, tonight will give us the chance to fine tune and get more geared up, especially in terms of the refereeing. You can get away with one or two things in friendlies and we know we won't get away with them tonight and have to treat it properly."

Competitive game? Must be why Ling is fielding a second string line up. I'm glad to see they're taking it so seriously though, perhaps this is all part of the plan to grow the Histon brand on a global scale. Expect a four-page pull out in the paper if they win tonight.

Read more...