Players we love to hate

One of the best things about being a football fan is that it's quite acceptable to be a brazen hypocrite.

I'm sure there are loads of people out who, like me, spend most of their lives wishing misfortune to befall the majority of the England squad. But come the World Cup we put our differences aside in the hope that they might bring glory to the nation, only to start hating the over-hyped scumbags again when they inevitably get knocked out in the early stages.

Similar rules apply at club level; you can hate a player who repeatedly wrongs your team throughout his career, only to forget his long list of misdemeanors when he dons your club's colours. We haven't signed one of these since the days of big Lemu Fortune-West, so it's quite funny that Lingy has picked up two in the space of a week: Long-haired playmaker Adam Miller and everyone's favourite camera licking flat track bully Daryl Clare.

Miller always struck me as a narky, if talented, sort in his Stevenage days, and I've never really forgiven him for his snarling celebration when he netted a penalty against us at their place in 2007. Clare's crime-sheet mainly consists of regular goals scored against us and a reluctance to stay on his feet for any longer than is necessary, but you can't really sniff at his goalscoring record, which has remained consistently good despite his advancing years and regular changes of employer.

There's no doubting that both are talented additions to an already solid squad. In fact I'd have to say this is probably the strongest, most well balanced, group of players we've had since relegation: There's a good mix of youth and experience and brains and brawn, and no one area of the pitch where we look particularly short of cover. Of course plenty can, and probably will, go wrong between now and the start of the season, but I'm beginning to get genuinely excited about our prospects. Who needs the World Cup anyway?

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This, that, and the other

(Pic (c) The Guardian)

Watching England labour to an uninspiring 0-0 draw with Algeria reminded me of the frustration I often feel when playing FIFA 09 on the Wii.

When the player I'm controlling in the game moves forward, he usually has no options on because his team-mates are standing, static and dis-interested, right next to an opponent. This kind of behaviour is perhaps excusable from the pixelated characters of a video game, but less so from England's mighty heroes, who are supposedly capable of bringing the World Cup home, but on recent evidence would struggle to win the Setanta Shield.

Plenty has already been written about the Algeria match, which in terms of entertainment and quality ranked alongside the United v Chester game last season as one of the worst 90 minutes of football I've ever seen, so I won't say too much more, except that it brought to mind a quote from Pete Davies in his excellent book on Italia 90, All Played Out. Following England's draw with Ireland in that tournament, Davies remarked that, while the rest of the world were trying to put on a show, the teams from the British Isles were "stinking the place out" with their terrible football. Twenty years on it seems little has changed - we still stink.

Back home, Lingy is back from his holidays, and as you will have seen, has completed the signing of Forest Green's Conal Platt. I'm not going to pretend to know anything about him, but on the surface he would appear to be a good signing; experienced enough to know what the Conference is all about, but young enough to improve as we progress. But as a left-winger with the initials CP, he has a hard act to follow, and I hope he is up to the challenge of filling Courtney's giant shorts. Not literally of course, that would be impossible.

Over in the village of the damned, JB is licking his wounds after being gazumped by the mighty, er, Halesowen in his quest to bring in a new centre back. He has apparently now turned his attentions to players from France in a bid to unearth the new Armand One.

"Using my contacts and managerial know-how, I jumped on a plane and went and saw some players at a showcase in Paris. A couple looked like they might be able to do a job for Histon Football Club, so we're looking at the logistics of bringing them over and having another look at them," he told the CEN. Sounds like a winner to me, anyone got Kingsley Mbome's number?

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Hoooooooooooooof

I'm surely not the only one who often has Mika popping into their head when they think of Brian Saah.

The thought process usually goes something like this; Brian Saah >>> full name Big Brian Saah >>> or just Big Brian >>> is beautiful >>> I start humming the Mika hit Big Girl (you are Beautiful).

Now that the former Leyton Orient man has penned a new two-year contract, I reckon Big Brian, you are beautiful could be a new terrace anthem. Make it happen Newmarket Road End, make it happen.

Anyway, it's happy, and perhaps surprising, news that Big Brian will be donning the amber and black next year. Of the three out-of-contracters, I think that in a way his would have been most damaging departure. Although it's probably more difficult to replace a 20-goal striker like the Crow, who today completed his transfer to Luton (hiiiiisssssss), Saah is a Ling man, so if he had left us it wouldn't have said very much about our promotion chances next year, or about our manager's ability to attract the players he wants.

The football being played at the Glassworld Stadium is likely to be considerably less beautiful than our number five now that John Beck is back at the helm.

"I don't think there's another manager in the country that can do this job and offer what Histon needs," said a typically bullish Beck, after signing a two-year contract at the Glassworld.

In a way he's right: there probably aren't many managers more suited to taking the bunch of young, inexperienced, players the Villagers are likely to end up with next year and turning them into an ultra-fit, well-disciplined, football machine. However, after his last, disastrous, spell at the helm of United, it remains to be seen whether he can be successful without the steadying hand of Steve Y'Know to keep him in check and stop him from going too mental. Should make for interesting viewing either way.

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New boys, old boys, and soon-to-be old boys

It's occurred to me over the last few days that David Cameron's imminent appointment as Prime Minister is a bit like when Chairman George assumed control at CUFC.

Don't laugh, it makes sense when you think about it: Nobody was convinced putting either of them in charge was a brilliant idea to begin with, but both ascended to the top job in the absence of any better options, leaving the rest of us to cross our fingers and pray that they don't screw up too badly. That didn't really work out so well in the case of good old Mr Rolls, so we can only hope Cameron doesn't follow his lead and clumsily implement massive, unpopular, budget cuts in all departments. Oh, hang on a minute.

If only one of the political leaders had shown as much passion during their election campaign as Jez George has during his walk for change, then maybe the country wouldn't be in this mess. The term legend gets banded about a lot in football, but our director of football is one of the few truly befitting of the title.

His exploits in the name of fair funding for youth football are well documented, and the climax of his walk, last night's all star game, was a wonderful occasion. Of the old boys on show, Dion Dublin was of course sublime, and scored a marvellous goal which may or may not (I prefer may not) have been slightly choreographed. Lee Philpott, shorn of his shocking early 90s haircut, pinged the ball around with precision, while Matt Joseph, one of my favourite players of his era, still looked impressive at right back.

What will have been of more concern to U's fans is the new boys on show. I said on here before that I'm not a massive fan of Naisbitt, and unless he's significantly cheaper I fail to see the point of getting shot of Potter to make way for him. But I'll keep an open mind, as I will on our other refugee from Glassworld, Danny Wright. I don't know anything about James Jennings, the new left back, but as a former Kettering player you would assume he can mix it physically, something Aiden Palmer didn't always do, and which probably contributed to his departure.

Speaking of departures, Gleeson to Luton sounds like a done deal, though Lingy's comments today leave the door open for Crow and Big Brian to sign on the dotted line. Fingers crossed.

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Decision time for the nation (and some footballers)

So after weeks of campaigning, posturing, and mud-slinging, today is the day the men and woman - bigoted or otherwise - of Great Britain go the polls.

Red or Blue, Gordon or David, SaBro or SamCam, one lot of lying, self-serving shysters or the other? Or even the Lib Dems? Who knows, but I for one hope the Conservatives fail miserably, if for no other reason than I want to see what the headline would be in tomorrow's Sun.

Someone who has two big decisions to make today is Dan Gleeson, and one can only hope he is more decisive at the ballot box than he is when it comes to signing a contract, otherwise he could be there all night. According to this morning's Evening News the right back is considering lucrative offers from two Conference clubs alongside the new deal offered by United.

"I'm a Cambridge lad and it's a hard decision to make. It's something I've got to carry on thinking about and I might have made a decision by the weekend," he said, hurridly stuffing the Luton Homebuyers Guide into his inside pocket. "It's not easy, because I've been at United since I was 15, apart from the year away at Notts County. And I've supported the club since I was a kid, standing in the Newmarket Road end."

Players always make these kind of wishy-washy statements at this time of year, but money usually talks in football, and - sadly - it probably will in this case. After all, what's years of standing on a terrace as a child worth when you compare it to an extra £200 per week in your pocket?

If, as has been suggested, Gleese is being offered a substantial payrise elsewhere, I for one wouldn't blame him for taking it. Realistically his career is unlikely to progress above League Two (no offence Dan if you're reading), and at 25 he is at an age where he needs to start maximising income before he retires.

Making a sidesways move is a little unambitious, but it's understandable in this case, and if he does go I'll wish him all the best. I'll be more offended if Crow or Saah, two players who are easily capable of playing in League One, join other Conference clubs. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough which way their votes have gone.

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Ups and downs and ins and outs

Nothing much has happened CUFC-wise in the last week or so.

Various players are ruminating over new deals, others are seeking alternative employment, and Jez George is still walking the length and breadth of the country in the company of a plethora of minor celebrities, but other than the usual deathly calm of the close season has descended upon the Abbey.

It's somewhat busier elsewhere, with the make-up of the Conference play-off finals having been decided in the last couple of days. Alfreton face Fleetwood in the North, Bath and Woking square up in the South, and one of York or Oxford will be joining Stevenage in League Two.

York saw off Luton to make the Wembley final, and as you've probably seen on television, the Luton fans didn't take too kindly to being condemned to another season of trips to the likes of Histon and Tamworth, invading the pitch to try and get at the York fans and players.

The scenes at Kenilworth Road were quite extraordinary, but maybe they will force the Hatters hierarchy to get a grip of their problematic supporters. It may, as chairman Nick Owen has said, be a minority causing the trouble, but it's a sizable minority, and they've been at it all season, as we found out at first hand. There's no place for that kind of behaviour in modern football, and the hefty fine which should be heading their way will perhaps help to lift the collective denial which seems to afflict their more sensible supporters.

From a purely footballing perspective, it would have been better for us had Luton got promoted, as I suspect they are the only one of the four play-off sides who will be stronger next season. Still, it's quite funny that they've got to do at least another year of purgatory, and fair play to the chaps at FC Boro for this amusing little piece rubbing their noses in it.

Meanwhile, the Villagers are on the look out for a new boss, although they apparently haven't told the old boss. Good, professional, stuff from Bridge Road as usual. The brief job advert on their website doesn't give much by way of a personal specification, but presumably anyone with experience in tree surgery will shoot to the top of the short-list.

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U's release retained list & light at the end of the tunnel for the Villagers?

Since the departure of Tony Roach, it's all been a bit quiet at the Glassworld.

No lunatic ramblings about being the biggest club in Cambridge, no sackings of club legends, and no employing amateur aborists, it's all got a bit boring.

But fresh from their heroic escape from relegation (courtesy of, er, Forest Green failing to beat Grays), the Villagers are obviously in a good mood again, as they've wheeled out some other chap to make the bizarre suggestion that they might go full time next year.

"More facilities are available during the day because we don't need them to be floodlit. During the evening we need lights, which makes it more expensive and harder to find the right ones," said Alan Soraff in yesterday's CN. Ahh, so it's floodlighting costs which have got them into a financial mess, I don't why nobody has thought of this before. Instead of going full-time, perhaps they could buy all their players miners helmets with lamps on them. Then they could train anywhere, at any time, and illumination wouldn't be a problem.

Uncle Fester, who apparently still thinks he'll be in a job next season despite a record of three wins in 22 games, also chipped in: "It's easier. They eat together, work together and, to be honest, that is what builds spirit in the club." Interesting that, because Fallon and Beck never seemed to have a problem instilling team spirit into their part-time charges. Perhaps the problem lies elsewhere, hmm.

In all seriousness, going full-time has often marked the death-knell for a lot of small teams without the fanbase to support it and, lighting problems aside, I fail to see how it would make sense for the Villagers.

Over at United, the retained list came on Monday and didn't throw up any big surprises. You can't really argue with Lingy's reasoning, as outlined in this CN article, but one thing which did worry me a bit was the goalkeeping situation, with Ling explaining: "Simon [Brown] has done a great job since he came here and if he signs, I see him as a player-coach, who will also put pressure on another senior keeper."

I kind of assumed Brown would be our only custodian next season, with Laurie Walker or a similar young player providing back up. The revelation that another senior keeper could be arriving adds fuel to the rumours that Danny Naisbett is making the switch from across the A14. I'll be a bit disappointed if we've got rid of Potter to sign that useless lump, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what transpires.

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...and so we face, the final curtain (Alty 0 - 2 U's)

As another season approaches it's zenith, spare a thought for poor old Alan Green.

It must be a difficult life for 5Live commentator Green, whose job involves travelling to Football's biggest matches and watching the individual genius of players like Messi, Ronaldo, and Rooney at first hand. But apparently we don't know just how hard it is.

"This is dire" he lamented during today's Birmingham derby. "It sums up what a terrible Premiership season it has been." And he's got to endure the World Cup next month, bless his heart. If Alan is so unhappy with his lot perhaps he should do the listening public - and himself - a favour and apply his talents to another sport. Like gymnastics. Or fencing.

Mr Green is of course entitled to his opinion, but I don't think you can really appreciate dire until you've seen Andy Parkinson scurry around ineffectively for 90 minutes. And I hate to think what his comments would have been had he sat through the Chester game at the Abbey, or the Eastbourne game, or at least half a dozen other matches United have participated in during 2009/10, a season which at long last limped to a conclusion yesterday with a 2-0 win at Altrincham.

Despite our travails in the middle third of the season, like most fans I go into the summer break with a good deal of hope for next term, not least because of the emergence of Adam Marriott. Super Maz leapt from the bench again yesterday to net two goals to leave Lingy purring; "I think he'll be a product, I really believe it. Goals speak words and the kid can finish."

Goals speak words eh, profound stuff. But I do think the boss deserves credit for the way he has handled Marriott's introduction to the first team. By restricting his on-pitch time he has minimised the pressure on the striker's young shoulders, as well as hopefully keeping his feet on the ground. We've all seen young players who think they've made it before they have - Luke Guttridge being an obvious recent example - and while there will inevitably be big expectations of Marriott ahead of next year, it won't do anyone any good if he starts to believe his own hype.

The other notable aspect of Lingy's post match utterances was the possibility of him bringing in another coach. He's been speaking in glowing terms about Cardy recently, and it will be interesting to see how the dynamic between the two is affected if one of the gaffer's old muckers - Dean Smith or Kevin Nugent for example - arrive over the summer. There's no doubt having another person to sit on the bench with the boss would be an advantage, but on the other hand it could lead to a three's a crowd situation, with Carden being the odd one out...

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Altrincham game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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U's 4 - 1 Haze - Growing up badly

None of us are getting any younger. Except policemen. And maybe Cliff Richard.

It was my birthday last week, and while I'm still clinging onto my 20's, I'm beginning to feel the pull of middle age. On Sunday I mowed my own lawn for the first time in my life (that's because I've only just acquired a lawn by the way, not because I usually get someone else to do it), and spent time tidying the shed, feeling a vague sense of satisfaction on completion of my tasks. It's worrying, very worrying.

But I hope that as I get older some things never change, such as the slight feeling of awe that comes with meeting a professional footballer, even a fifth tier one with questionable arm tattoos.

Because before Saturday's match with Hayes and Yeading, I got to shake hands with the great Danny Crow, and the occasion had me stumbling over my words and grinning inanely like a bashful school girl. Danny went on to prove his greatness by netting two more goals as United strolled to a comfortable victory over Hayes, but it was the performance of his strike partner, Adam Marriott, that really caught the eye.

Maz is different gravy, ketchup, mayonnaise, burger sauce, or any other condiment you can think of. He seems to [cliche]have everything in his locker[/cliche], and while he is still a bit immature as a player - as evidenced in the second half of Saturday's game when he brilliantly bamboozled three players but then tried to score from a ridiculous angle when a pass to the unmarked Simon Russell would've left the winger with a tap in - next season I think he'll be making big waves.

Other than that it was fairly routine stuff, with McAuley, Russell, and Palmer particularly standing out. Lingy's comments at the end about "peoples favourites leaving" in the close season suggest that, as expected, the end as nigh for Danny Potter, which would be a shame, but probably not a surprise given the form of Simon Brown and the need to cut costs - I would assume Pottsy is one of our higher paid players.

Elsewhere, Stevenage are in the football league, Man Utd are back in the title race, and Histon are likely survive their relegation battle due to other teams being shitter than them. Forget immigrants or knife crime, if these aren't examples of Broken Britain then I don't know what are, and I'll vote for any MP who promises to come up with a suitable solution.

*Send us your 20-word match report on the Hayes and Yeading game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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Lingy's contract conundrum

Uncertainty hangs over the heads of many Cambridge United players at the moment like a giant cloud of volcanic ash.

The smog is likely to remain until Monday week, when Lingy will announce which of our amber heroes have been offered contracts for next season. In the mean time, because speculation is always fun and I can't think of anything enlightening to say about our meaningless 0-0 draw with Oxford, here's what I would do were I in the manager's shoes. I'm not counting Beesley, Farrell, or Courtney (sob), as Ling has already made it clear they won't be coming back.

Goalkeepers
Simon Brown - CONTRACT: Brown or Potter would both make excellent number one's for next year. But I'd plump for the former because a) he's the man in possession of the shirt, and has done very little wrong since he arrived, b) he's a Ling player, and thus represents a break from the previous regimes, and c) he brings a bit of extra experience to what will probably be a fairly young squad next year. Sadly this means that...

Danny Potter - RELEASE: I love Pottsy as much as the next person, but it's probably time for a change to freshen things up for all concerned. He remains a top keeper at this level, and should have no problem finding new employers.

Laurie Walker - CONTRACT: Or should that be non-contract? Either way, it would be good to keep him on as cheap back up to Browny.

Defenders
Already Contracted: Dave Partridge - Hard as nails centre back. Not a left back.
Blaine Hudson - Giant hot prospect

Dan Gleeson - CONTRACT: A no-brainer really, the only possible snag could be interest from league clubs.

Aiden Palmer - CONTRACT: Definitely has the talent, but for me there are question marks over his physical strength and his concentration - he seems to drift out of position from time-to-time. Worth persevering with though I think, and will benefit from a pre-season not spent at her majesty's convenience.

Josh Coulson - CONTRACT: I'd have said no until recently, but Josh has upped his game over the last couple of months.

Brian Saah - CONTRACT: Again a no-brainer assuming he doesn't get a better offer. Please stay Big Bri'.

Daryl Coakley - CONTRACT: Never let the side down when called upon. Decent back-up.

Kevin Roberts - RELEASE: Possibly a bit harsh, as I've only seen Robbo play twice, but with Gleeson and McAuley in the squad do we need another senior right back?

Midfield
Already Contracted: Paul Carden - Captain/Assistant Manager/Scouser
Robbie Willmott - Occasionally awesome, permanently petulant winger.
Luke Berry - CRC blonde bombshell.

Antonio Murray - RELEASE: Done a few good things (including that great goal against Salisbury) but not enough to justify a longer stay.

Rory McAuley - CONTRACT: Probably our young player of the season.

Jai Reason - CONTRACT: Seems to have taken Courtney's role as the player who most divides opinions among fans, but there's a good player in there if you ask me.

Simon Russell - CONTRACT: Very impressive since arriving from York, his versatility could be crucial next year.

Scott Neilson - CONTRACT (if poss): I guess it's unlikely he'll be hanging around, but would be nice if we could arrange a season-long loan or something similar. Quality player at this level.

Sam Ives - RELEASE: Good coming off the bench, but hasn't been able to influence games on his starting appearances.

Jordan Patrick - CONTRACT: Talented player from the little I've seen. Hopefully he'll get some game time in the next two fixtures.

Strikers
Danny Crow - CONTRACT: Need I say more. The only problem I forsee is that if he has a good world cup it could alert Real Madrid.

Phillips and Willock - RELEASE: Shame we can't combine these two, not least because the composite player could have the amusing name Callee Phillock. A total of two goals between them isn't good enough, we can do better.

Adam Marriott - CONTRACT: Jez George says he's the most talented young player he's worked with, and who am I to argue with the man who unearthed Robbie Simpson et al.

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Stuff

Hello all. I'm back from holiday and have returned to a country gripped by ELECTION FEVER. Sort of.

As far as I can tell this election campaign so far has been much like United's season - boring, much too long, and featuring a cast incompetents, none of whom are capable of delivering a positive outcome. Sadly the main difference is that while Lingy can ditch his underperformers in a few weeks time when their present deals expire, one of the political parties is going to be given a new five-year contract to run the country. The mind boggles.

Anyway, in my absence the Mighty U's have won a pointless game against Mansfield (highlights below, looks like it was a cracker), and lost pointless games at Gateshead and Salisbury.



Lingy has been handed his budget for next year, which he considers will put United in the top-eight of the spending league table; "I'd say it's in the top eight budgets in the Conference and I'm happy with that, although I'd say it's nearer eighth than first. In terms of 'is the amount I can spend better than when I came here?', I'd say yes," he told the CN last week.

Sticking to budgets hasn't exactly been United's forte in the last few years, but assuming we can maintain this level of spending, it sounds like a sensible basis on which to build a promotion push. The likes of Dagenham, Aldershot, and (to an extent) Burton have shown that it isn't necessarily the team with the most money that wins this league, and indeed tonight's opponents Oxford have totally lost their momentum since they made several expensive, high profile, additions to their squad in the January transfer window.

It will be interesting to see how a United side, boosted by the return from injury of Saah, Gleeson, Carden, and Crow, fares against the fake U's. We matched them when they came to the Abbey earlier in the season, and hopefully we can pick up at least another point at the Kassam.

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Come on Luton (and Kiddy 1 - 0 U's)

I miss being in the promotion shake-up; the big games, the big crowds, the decent players, the prospect of Wembley heart break.

Because while we were muddling our way to a (by all accounts dire) 1-0 defeat at Kidderminster last night, the champagne was put on ice at Broadhall Way, with Stevenage coming out on top in their top of the table clash with Oxford to put themselves in pole position for promotion to the promised land. Not that the Chavs would know anything about big crowds, seeing as only 5,700 turned up to see it. Presumably their supporters were all saving their cash for the game at The Emirates tonight.

There really is no justice in a world where Stevenage look likely to go up and we're stuck in this hole for another season. So with Oxford seemingly having blown their chances for the second time in four years, I'm forced to give my backing to that dastardly shower from Kenilworth Road. They're bang in form, and are off to destroy Broadhall Way on Saturday. Anything other than a Luton victory will surely mean it's all over, so though it pains me to say it, come on you Hatters, for the love of all that's good about football, don't let Westley win.

Back on the U's, it's a shame to see our unbeaten run come to such an abrupt halt. "We were lucky to get nil to be honest. We were out-fought and out-thought," cliched a dejected sounding Lingy afterwards.

Perhaps, with safety assured, some of the players had half an eye on Magaluf, or Kos, or whatever chav-hole footballers visit on holiday these days. If that is the case they need to buck their ideas up, especially if they don't want to find themselves unemployed come May.

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U's 3 - 0 Grays Athletic; Danny Crow-s and blues woe grows

When carving out a reputation as a football hard-man, it must help if you have a suitable name.

If you're called Nobby or Vinny for example, you already sound a little bit intimidating before you've even started, whereas if you go by the sobriquet Julian or Jeremy then you're fighting an uphill battle.

So fair play to Grays boss Julian Dicks for striding over that hurdle and making a name for himself as one of the most brutal players to grace the English game in recent years. It probably helps that he has the dead-eyed stare of a lord of the underworld - I could quite imagine him arriving at the Abbey on Saturday in a gondola made entirely of skulls.

Seeing as they're bottom of the table, you would hope Julian already knows that his team are rubbish, and if he doesn't I wouldn't want to be the one to tell him. That United managed to lose to such a shambolic outfit earlier in the season beggars belief, and there was little doubt what the result of Saturday's game would be after Carlos Crow broke the deadlock in what was an extremely dull first half.

There may have been the odd occasion last term when I was a little bit disparaging to Crowy on this blog, questioning whether he had it in him to score goals on a regular basis. But I did always have faith that he would produce the goods eventually, and his form this season, in terms of the hard work he was doing before Christmas and the goals he has been scoring since, must make him a strong contender for player of the season.

And now that we're definitely safe, you would hope Lingy will be opening contract negotiations in a bid to tie down the former Norwich man for next year. Ditto the other players who could be in demand, namely Gleeson and the ever-impressive Brian Saah.

Gleese will be missing for tonight's trip to out of form Kidderminster, where a win will send us into the unheard of territory of the top ten. Good times.

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20-word match reports - U's 2 - 0 Tamworth

I'm running a bit behind this week, sincerest apologies. But here are a couple of 20-word match reports from last Wednesday's slaying of Tamworth;

Through the rain a Crow appeared - the Lambs scattered. Ref rubbish, Lingy waved, Partridge can't cross, got soaked. Didn't mind.
- @RounderBrighton

My first flaskless match of the year was not a memorable one. Josh Coulson was excellent again - MOM for me
- Face

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Grays match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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U's 2 - 0 Tamworth & pwoper nawtiness at Histon?

Who would've thought that by the end of this season we'd be the most stable football club in the county.

P*sh are searching for the fourth manager of their doomed stay in the Championship (yet Barry Fry somehow remains), City are contemplating life in Newmarket, and the Villagers are illegally chopping down trees and being investigated by the old bill over "financial irregularities."

Financial irregularities which, if you believe the line being peddled in today's CN, would, if proven, definately be the sole responsibility of the Baldwins. Definately.

Now far be it from me to defend our new chairman in waiting consultant, but it seems he and his wife have become a convenient peg on which to hang all Histon FC-related woes. If some wrong-doing has gone on at the Glassworld in the last few years then it seems unlikely that he (Baldwin) was the only one that knew about it.

Perhaps the new regime are keen to distance themselves from this because they know there's more bad news on the way. Or perhaps there's nothing in this story at all and it's just an attempt to smear the "old" order. We shall see in due course.

Anyway, on the pitch United have surely now banished any lingering relegation fears after last night's routine 2-0 win over Tamworth.

I can't really think of much to say on what was a fairly non-descript affair. No one played particularly well, or particularly badly, though as a unit we were poor in the first half, not helped by an even poorer ref. But Tamworth weren't very good either, and I always felt we'd go on to win, which we duly did. We seem to have forgotten how to lose at the moment, which is a pleasant change from earlier in the season.

Now we're safe, maybe the manager will consider giving a few more of the youngsters a run out in the first team. It would be good to see the likes of Jordan Patrick, Adam Marriott, and maybe even Luke Berry starting games between now and the end of the season.

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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Abbey buy-back buggered

Sadly it appears the Abbey will not be coming home.

And from the press release below, it also seems that Paul Barry and Co aren't on DMJ's Christmas card list.

The CFU chairman makes a very good point in the CN today, namely that if we'd hung onto the Kitson money rather than spunking it on rubbish, unecessary signings like Challinor, McMahon, and Ainge (I added that last bit), this campaign might have had a happier ending. Anyway, full statement from the fans trust below;

CFU Ground Buy Back bid falls short

The bold attempt by Cambridge Fans United to raise the money to buy back the Abbey Stadium for Cambridge United from owners Bideawhile before the option to sell to Grosvenor Developments takes effect has run out of time.

CFU had until 2 p.m. on Wednesday 24th March to put down a deposit of £350K and to have commitments of £3.15M in place and were hoping that an “Amber Knight” would have emerged to assist them in reaching their target.

CFU Chairman, Dave Matthews Jones, said “Whilst we had tremendous support from fans and others, with expressions of interest from over 700 people, some of considerable value, we have to admit defeat on this.

"A team of people have been working really hard to put this thing together by the deadline. We firmly believe that, given extra time, we would have been able to put the funds in place, but we have been told by Bideawhile that there will be no extension of time.”

Matthews Jones continued: "I wish I could say that the club’s Board had been as supportive of the attempt as the fans, but this hasn’t been forthcoming and that is very disappointing, especially as they have had 5 years to buy the ground back, but have failed to achieve it in that time.

"We had less than 5 weeks, so it is, perhaps, not a great surprise that we couldn’t quite manage it.

"This just goes to show how brilliant the fans are and is one of the reasons I am proud to be involved with the Fans Trust. We shall be seeking to work with Grosvenor in the interests of the fans and the club."

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20 word match reports - Salisbury and Wrexham

I've had one 20-word match report for each of the last two games, so thought I would combine them into one post.

On our 3-1 win over Salisbury:

Another great result - so I've emailed Wembley about how many bags of yellow pages we are allowed to take in.
- Face (presumably typed while wearing a foam hand)

And on the 2-2 draw at Wrexham on Saturday

Point, another point, but
It felt so much better when
That lovely Marriott fired in.
Those are the best moments.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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Wrexham: 2 - 2 U's & expungement appeal

Confession time: When I was younger, I used to name Aston Villa as my second team.

I've seen the error of my ways as I've grown older, but when I was at school it seemed acceptable to have a Premiership team with whom to allign myself for the sake of easy playground banter.

I'm not sure why I chose Villa, possibly because like United they never win anything, or because of the funny name/unusual kit. Either way, the 12-year old me used to get quite happy on the rare occasion Savo Milosevic found the net.

Because of my Villa daliance, I was a big fan of Dean Saunders the player. It's a shame then that Saunders the manager is a buffoon of Lewer-esque proportions. Have a listen to this interview carried out following our 2-2 draw on Saturday, he sounds more bitter than a box of lemons.

Anyway, it sounds like it was another good comeback from the U's, and a great equaliser from young Marriott, which you can see above courtesy of youtube fottage king MatBro51. I also notice we've taken the momentous step of overtaking the "biggest club in Cambridge" in the league table, so at least this season hasn't been a complete waste of time.

Speaking of wasting time, United announced on Friday that they are one of ten clubs appealing the decision to expunge Chester from the record books, a move which has led to much righteous indignation amongst users of the CUFC messageboard.

If those within the club feel that strongly about it then it's worth a try I suppose. But seeing as the six points will make little difference to our situation either way I personally don't see the point in us joining in with Oxford, Stevenage, et al in making a fuss. I also don't like our chances of success, as surely the FA will be very reluctant to make a ruling in favour of changing the table for a third time this season.

One thing I do hope is that we're not paying for this appeal in any way. At a time when the fans are trying to find to cash to buy the ground back, I would hate to think the club are wasting their cash on an appeal which is surely doomed to failure.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Wrexham match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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U's 3 - 1 Salisbury City; Model professionals?

There's been some great PR coming out of the club recently.

Following on from the (sadly ill-fated) Danny Crow burrito scheme is the news that Robbie Willmott and Danny Potter will be taking to the catwalk at the Grand Arcade this Friday. They couldn't have picked two more appropriate players - Potter is probably plucking his eyebrows as we speak while Robbie waxes his skinny little legs. Actually that's an awful thought, so I'm going to move swiftly on. Yuk.

But both players might want to consider full-time modeling careers, because at this rate they will find it rather difficult to force their way back into the team when they recover from their respective injuries. In Danny's absence, Simon Brown's seven appearances for the U's have coincided with our seven-game unbeaten run, which continued last night with a fairly routine 3-1 win over Salisbury last night.

And as for Willmott, U's fans will be crossing their fingers and toes that Lingy can extend Scott Neilson's stay at the Abbey. Because so far the on-loan Bradford man has been absolute dynamite, providing pace and a goal threat which we have been lacking from midfield all season. It seems unlikely Neilson will be back next term, and if he does scamper back to Valley Parade perhaps Robbie can use the former Cambridge City man as a benchmark for the kind of performances he should be contributing to the side.

Anyway, again United were far from perfect in dispatching the Whites, but played some good stuff at times after falling behind to an early piece of brilliance from Matt Tubbs. The front four linked up particularly well, stringing together a couple of excellent one-touch passing moves, and though Antonio Murray's performance was a bit in and out he did score a brilliant goal so fair play to the lad.

Ling thought we were comfortable winners, but I'm not sure I agree with that. Salisbury always looked capable of scoring on the break, but for the most part were too sh*t to take advantage. United on the other hand took three of their four main chances, with the other one hitting the underside of the bar, and that kind of clinical-ness is pleasing to see.

So still plenty for Lingy and co to work on, but if we could repeat that level of performance in the 46 games of next season I think we'd finish in or around the play-offs. Wrexham next, bring it on.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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20 word match report - U's 2 - 1 Villagers

Yet another home game tonight, good times. Hopefully we can pick up another win and push on up the table towards the dizzy heights of the top half.

Cardy is talking up Salisbury in his pre-match interview, but the team he's describing bear little resemblance to cynical, defensive, diving bunch that usually arrive from Sarum. Whatever, any side which is "boosted" by the return of Danny Webb should be beatable if we pull our finger out.

Looking back for a moment, here are three 20-word match reports on the Histon triumph:

Phew!
I'd forgotten what a home win was like.
The chaps came back nicely
To win, almost like JQ's days.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

I thought Histon were poor,
and I was so pleased to finally win at home,
that I forgot my flask
- Face

Deciduous village people felled by green shoots of U's young saplings.I still pine for my free burrito (thanks Danny!)
- A truly pun-tastic effort from @RounderBrighton

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

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