Cards:0 U's:1

For me, the thing which sets football apart from all the other, inferior, sports, is the absolutely unique value which one goal can, and often does, have.

Obviously all sports have a decisive point of some kind, but usually they will have been preceded by several others; you never get a cricket match with one run, or a basketball game featuring one basket, yet you often get football matches settled by one goal, one moment of brilliance or misfortune which renders the other 89 minutes irrelevant, no matter how turgid they may have been. I can't think of any other sports where that is the case, though if you can then let me know.

So for all that Phil Gilchrist can say that his side were worthy of a point in last nights encounter, Jai Reason's solitary goal in the 82nd minute is all that really matters. United were far from their best in what was a fairly low quality game, but they did enough to keep the pressure (such as it is) on Burton.

Gilchrist might want to have a word with his keeper Danny Knowles about why he was so late getting down to Reason's 20-yard shot, which was accurate yet not very powerful, and should probably have been kept out. The dingy conditions may have been to blame, as kick off was delayed by 30 minutes due to floodlight failure, and indeed the match only went ahead under what Setanta described as "safety lights". It was quite amusing to watch Bower and Parker try and ad-lib as they faced the prospect of another live game cancellation; Bower expressed sympathy that "Cambridge haven't had a league game for 13 days", but failed to mention that his employers were responsible for lengthening this period by three days. Funny that.

Woking shaded a fairly even first half, with left winger Matt Pattison enjoying plenty of space as make-shift right back Jon Challinor went walkabout. Pattison and Liam Marum both forced Danny Potter into saves, and in between times another shot from Pattison whistled inches wide of the post with Potter rooted to the spot like a constipated statue. It wasn't all one way traffic though, and both Scott Rendell and Courtney Pitt should have done better when well placed. Chris Holroyd was also off target with a shot which would have found the net had it not faded away at the last minute.

But the home side were unable to maintain the same intensity in the second half, and United began to dominate possession, despite the fact that both Carden and Reason were having stinkers. There wasn't much in the way of goal mouth action though, and the match looked to be heading for stalemate before Reason's late intervention. The Ipswich loanee limped off shortly after his goal with a foot injury, and one can only hope this doesn't turn out to be anything serious. Woking didn't offer much in the way of a response, and United played out the final eight minutes in comfortable fashion. Now all we can do is wait and see how the Brewers respond.

Man of the Match: Phil Bolland - Setanta went for one central defensive colossus, Wayne Hatswell, as their MotM. I'll pick the other just to be contrary.





Milk Tray Man of the Match: Gary Brabin - The Brabinator always scrubs up well when he's on TV, and didn't disappoint with last nights all-black outfit.

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In, out, in, out, shake it all about

Much like a government ministers expenses claim, the turnover of players at United in the last few days has been a lot higher than expected.

Probably the most inevitable departure was that of Darren Quinton, who ceased to serve a purpose about two years ago (ie, when we started getting some half decent players). I always had high hopes for Quints in the early days, but a combination of injuries and lack of growth have probably curtailed his chances of making it as a pro. Interestingly enough, John Turner, who must be of a similar age, had the same problems, and it was perhaps a failing of our previous youth system that many of the players it produced have been unable to cope with the physical side of the game.

The same can't be said of the current CRC set up, whose players are forged in granite after a couple of years battling against the cloggers of the Ridgeons League. I don't recall ever seeing Adam Marriott, Jordan Patrick, or Sam Ives, play, but if they are of similar quality to the likes of Josh Coulson and Rory MacAuley then they'll do ok. Georgie Rolls has said on several occasions that the budget is going to be cut next term, so I guess the trio will all have a supporting role to play in what will hopefully be our glorious first season back in League Two.

Shame to see Fazzer on the way out as well, and I hope that won't be the last we see of him. Although he hasn't often stood out this year, I don't think the Brabinator has given him a fair crack of the whip, and I've seen little from either Challinor of McMahon to suggest that they are superior players. He's much too good for City anyway, and with a bit of luck he'll be back in the reckoning next term.

Thanks to Setanta's faffing, I can't make it to Woking tonight, so will be watching the match on TV instead. No need to worry about the result though, as Cards boss Phil Gilchrist has already written the match off as "unwinnable". Either that, or he's employing some very clever Alex Ferguson-style mind games: "We need to focus on what I think are the winnable games. Of course I didn’t expect us to lose in the way we did at Kidderminster, but that wasn’t a game where realistically we thought we could win because of the form they are in. It’s the same with the Cambridge United," he told the Woking News and Mail. I bet he's great at parties.

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Cliche watch

Compiling a list of all the stupid, overused, phrases in football would be a long and boring task.

The one that immediately springs to mind is “world class”; how on earth do you define this? Is it relative to the players you’re facing? Or to the great names that have gone before? It’s all very confusing, and a bit pointless.

Another good one is “must-win game”, which gets trotted out frequently by stupid pundits and managers with a limited vocabulary. How many games are actually “must-win”? Apart from those on which promotion and relegation issues directly hang, there can be very few encounters that deserve this billing.

And what happens if a “must-win game” ends in a draw? Nothing much, that’s what, as the Villagers and the Chavs found out last night after playing out a 0-0 stalemate.

“This is a must-win game for both sides,” declared Steve Y’know on Radio Cambs before kick off. Yet by the end of the match he was “quite pleased” with a point. Which is it to be Steve?

You would think that Y’know would have plenty of time to compose what he was going to say pre and post game these days, seeing as he seems to do very little other than stand on the touchline looking vacant. There was a very telling shot during the Setanta coverage which showed Histon’s manager (sic) standing quietly in the corner of the dressing room while John Beck bellowed the half time team talk. Still, they always say they’re a partnership, and I’m sure Steve plays a vital role in putting out the cones, or filling the water bottles, or something.

I watched a bit of the game and it was awful. I was especially disappointed with Stevenage, who looked very mediocre for a side on a 22-game unbeaten run. While I know it’s difficult to play any kind of decent football on that thing that passes for a pitch in the village of the damned, if we continue our recent form I see nothing to fear from either side should we meet them in the playoffs.

Other results went our way last night too, notably Torquay blowing one of their games in hand by only drawing at home to Grays. It just goes to show that it’s much better to have the points on the board at this stage of the season. Actually, that sounds like a bit of cliche, I'll just stop talking now.

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Bye bye Convers

It’s been a quiet week so far news-wise.

When The Guardian’s front page features a story about a new flavour of Pot Noodle (yes really), you know there isn’t much going on in the world.

United have not been immune to this news black hole, and seemed to have battened down the hatches and shut up shop after last Tuesday’s win at Barrow.

But today the door opened just wide enough to push Mark Convery and all his worldly possessions out onto the street, with the portly playmakers contract being cancelled by mutual consent.

“We thank Mark for his service to Cambridge United, one of the highlights of which was his goal at Stevenage last season,” said a suitably diplomatic statement on the official website. I’ve been struggling to think what the other “highlights” of Convers’ stay at the Abbey were, and so far all I’ve been able to come up with are:

a) His goal at Crawley
b) Playing quite well at Wolves
c) Er
d) That’s it

With so many midfielders on the books, it was always going to be survival of the fittest, and one thing Convery will never be is the fittest. Players who possess his natural ability usually end up at this level for a reason, be it because their body isn’t up it, they don’t look after themselves properly, or they simply can’t be bothered.

It may be by no fault of his own, but he’s proved to be a bit of a waster for best part of the last 18 months, and while he’ll probably find another club at this level ready to take him on, he’s certainly not the kind of player we need if we harbour serious intentions of returning to the league.

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AOB: Whites:2 Reds:0

I bigged up the Premier League last time I went to a top flight game, but now I’m afraid I feel the need to do the opposite (small it down?).

On Saturday I ventured up to the big smoke to take in Fulham v Man Utd, and witnessed a quite amazing display of behaviour from Cristiano Ronaldo. The Portuguese winger, undoubtedly one of the world’s best players, was at his petulant worst as his team slipped to a rare defeat at Craven Cottage, remonstrating with the referee and his assistants at every opportunity, going to ground at the slightest hint of contact, and generally being a big pansy.

He was lucky to stay on the field after a two footed lunge at Danny Murphy, which fortunately didn’t connect with the Whites skipper’s leg, and then had the temerity to whinge about the treatment he was getting from the Fulham defenders, bizarrely rolling up his shorts to show ref Phil Dowd his supposed injuries. Still, he’s used to showing a bit of leg after his lengthy flirtation with Real Madrid in the summer, ho hum.

CRonaldo’s antics aside, it was an entertaining match, although I possibly derived most of the entertainment value from Manchester United getting beaten and seeing Alex Ferguson getting increasingly agitated on touchline. I’ve been saying all season that United aren’t all that, and a central midfield containing the decrepit Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes is always going to be a bit vulnerable. The fact that they are top is more reflective of the inconsistency of the chasing pack than of the brilliance of Fergie’s boys if you ask me.

Not that Scholes had much time to influence this game, being shown a red card for palming away Bobby Zamora’s goal bound header. Ferguson, naturally, said the ref shouldn’t have given it, despite the fact that his player had both hands above his head. Murphy thumped the spot kick high into the net, McEvilly style. 1-0.

Thereafter Fulham dominated, with wingers Clint Dempsey and Simon Davies finding acres of space between the visiting backline and midfield. Davies extended Van der Sar with an angled shot, but Johnson couldn’t turn in the rebound, and then Zamora shot into the keepers arms when he perhaps should have done better.

Finding a more able partner for Andrew Johnson than the lumbering Zamora should perhaps be a priority for Fulham manager Roy Hodgson this summer, because in other departments his side looks pretty decent, particularly at the back, where keeper Mark Schwarzer and centre backs Aaron Hughes and Brede Hangeland stand strong like a trio of granite pillars.

Fergie introduced Rooney for the ineffective and lame Berbatov at half time, and the England striker immediately showed his class as United began to turn the screw. It’s the first time I’ve had the pleasure of seeing the England striker play in the flesh, and he was at the heart of everything good his side produced. In fact, his manager probably made an error by later bringing on Tevez and moving Rooney wide right, where he was much less effective.

Anyway, Schwarzer made a terrific double save to foil Rooney and Park, while Ronaldo twice put headers wide, before his lunge on Murphy which forced the influential midfielder to leave the field.

But as the ten men committed more and more players to the attack, gaps were always likely to appear, and Fulham exploited one of those in the dying moments to wrap up an improbable win. Dickson Etuhu fed Johnson, who got to the byline and pulled the ball back for substitute Zoltan Gera, who with his back to goal flicked the ball up and scored with an acrobatic volley. Gera has inexplicably remained in my fantasy team all season, so it was about time he repaid my faith in his talents. 2-0.

United’s misery was completed when Rooney, who had already been booked for tugging back Davies, was shown a second yellow for throwing the ball away in anger. Again Ferguson questioned the decision, but having seen replays I feel he can have few complaints.

So yeah, it was an interesting match, and again you couldn’t really argue with the skill on show. But on the other hand it is fair to say that the histrionics and disrespect for the referee shown by some of the players went far beyond what you would see at Blue Square Premier level. I guess you can’t have everything.

Man of the Match: Brede Hangeland – Fulham will do well to keep this calm, imposing, central defender, who was virtually unbeatable in the air all afternoon.

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Bluebirds:0 U's:2

On the odd occasion that I take my dad to a game he always makes me cringe by loudly repeating the same inane phrases.

His two favourites are "put your foot on the ball" or "look wide", both of which are skills far beyond the capability of your average Conference footballer. He's a QPR fan of the Bowles & Marsh vintage, so I suppose I can forgive him for having high expectations.

Worryingly though I've noticed that as I get older I'm going down a similar path, and regularly scream the same nonsense in the direction of the players. It's usually manager-speak bollocks like "keep your shape" or "have a word ref" or "how many more times", and while I'd like to stop I seem to be incapable of doing so. Someone please re-assure me that all football fans have their own catch phrases, I hate feeling like I'm a weirdo.

I've also taken to doing a Mourinho-esque double fist pump when we score goals, which is another thing I'm trying to eradicate for fear of giving a fellow fan an involuntary dig in the ribs. It's a bit safer in the confines of my flat (unless I'm sitting next to my girlfriend that is) so I was Jose-ing up and down the kitchen as news of Chrissie Holroyd's two goals filtered through from Barrow.

The Brabinator unsurprisingly found time to praise the travelling fans after the game: "They were brilliant again and they've made a right mess here for the stewards to clean up, so I think they've enjoyed themselves. It was a really tough fixture and it's a long way to come, and the travelling fans have shown how fanatical they are to come this far - I think they deserved to make that mess." Our leader wants to be careful about inciting fans to make a mess; as we speak he's probably being chased round Cumbria by a spade-wielding northern version of Ian Darler.

We're already five points better off than I predicted, and probably only need to win two of our last seven games to make the play-offs. If someone had offered me that back in January, when I was feeling a bit downbeat about our chances, I'd have probably been pretty pleased. Now the players can enjoy their 13-day break and hopefully come back refreshed and ready for the final push.

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Are you local?

I work in Royston, a town so strange I sometimes think the local council should tack "Vasey" onto the end of it's name, in recognition of the similarities between here and the fictional setting of the League of Gentleman.

For example, today I was walking down the High Street, minding my own business, when I noticed an old lady pushing her dog along in a buggy. No child in sight, just the dog, it was quite surreal I can assure you. When people start phoning me up asking me if my name is Dave then I'll know I'm in deep trouble.

Sadly this weirdness rarely translates into interesting stories, something which apparently can't be said for Barrow. Witness two of the top ten news items on the website of their local rag, the North West Evening Echo: Dead Cumbrian man whose dogs stood guard over his body named and Barrow babysitter flashed breasts and asked boy, 10, for sex. I can only dream of such excitement in my life.

I hope the players can adapt to such alien surroundings, and against a Bluebirds side shorn of defensive hard bastard Steve McNulty and top scorer Jason Walker, we really need to be looking at picking up another win. Burton play twice before we take to the field again against Woking, so it's imperative that we keep the gap between us from becoming too wide.

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U's:4 Vics:1

What's that I see careering past my window? It must be one of the wheels that have fallen off Burton's title challenge in the last couple of weeks.

Sadly, I suspect that the remaining wheels will be enough to help them wobble over the finishing line, and indeed it would take a massive engine failure for them not to beat Weymouth's collection of school boys and cast offs (and Stephen Reed) on Tuesday night. But the way we're playing at the moment we'll certainly be right in their slipstream as the chequered flag approaches.

That's enough with the car analogies for one day. United barely needed to leave third gear (sorry) to beat a surely-doomed Northwich side and close the gap further on the leaders. It wasn't exactly a classic performance, but four goals are four goals, and it shows how far we've come that we're now confidently beating teams like Northwich and Woking (as we should), rather than scraping past them as we were earlier in the season.

From the off it was fairly obvious that the visitors weren't very good, not least because they were fielding one of the non-leaguest looking players I've seen for a while in the rotund shape of target man Kyle Perry. What's even more shocking is that he's on the books of a professional club, Port Vale. The mind boggles.

Ryan Clarke in the Northwich goal made good early saves deny Bolland and Willmott, while Vics Lee Elam tested Danny Potter from distance with a shot which may have been heading wide anyway before our keeper turned it round the post. I didn't realise that Elam was still playing, and the formerly tricky winger looks a shadow of his former self. He's still a consumate diver though, as he proved on several occasions throughout the match.

Any thought that the visitors might cause us too many problems evapourated after we took the lead. Carden snapped into a challenge in midfield, dispossessing Crowell and sliding a pass through for Holroyd, whose lightning pace saw him reach the ball just ahead of Clarke and slam it into the net. 1-0.

Five minutes later it was 2-0. After a Pitt corner was headed against the crossbar by Bolland, Hatswell drove in a shot that Clarke couldn't hold, and Rendell, ever the predator, tucked away the rebound.

At this stage United were rampant, but Vics shocked everybody - including themselves probably - by scoring the next goal. Perry showed good agility for a big man by throwing himself to the ground just outside the box and winning a dubious free kick. From the set piece, Luke Joyce curled the ball over the wall, and saw it elude everybody and sneak in at the far post.

That certainly wasn't in the script, but normal service resumed when Rendell netted his second shortly afterwards. Again the quicksilver Holroyd was involved, picking up a pass from Robbie Willmott and sending over a low cross which left the unmarked Rendell with the simple task of slotting the ball in at the far post. That's an astonishing 14 goals for Scotty since he came back from the darkside, and he and Holroyd have now scored 15 times in the ten games they've started together. Stat-tastic eh.

Perhaps understandably, the U's took their foot off the gas a bit in the second half. No point over-extending yourself when there are tougher games on the horizon I suppose. Northwich also decided to get a bit more physical, with referee Steve Martin (presumably taking a break from the filming of Cheaper by the Dozen 987534543) failing to punish several blatent indiscretions. I'm all for referees going easy on the whistle, but when a defender is constantly putting an opposition striker in arm and head locks, it's probably time to step in.

I'm struggling to think of interesting things which happened after the break. The atmosphere was very flat, with both sets of players and fans seemingly accepting that the result was already a forgone conclusion. Parky livened things up a bit when he joined the action, extending Clarke with a near post shot that the keeper had to parry behind, and lobbing just over the bar after a sprightly run down the middle. In between, the wide man thumped home his first goal for the club, after fellow sub Jon Challinor's long throw had been flicked on by Holroyd. As the Brabinator mentions at every opportunity, having him back should be a big bonus in the run in.

Man of the Match: Chris Holroyd - Faster than a speeding bullet, and almost as deadly.

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Northwich

I hope you've all been out doing something "funny for money" to mark this years Comic Relief.

Being stuck, as I am, in a provincial office, I am sadly missing out on the wacky fun over at our headquarters, where the blokes were asked to come in dressed as women, and vice versa. Hilarious japery and capers have no doubt ensued by now, and I'm gutted to be missing out on them. Really.

United did their bit for a good cause back in August when they gave Darren Quinton a new contract for no apparent reason, so there will be little room for charity when we entertain struggling Northwich tomorrow.

"Northwich aren't conceding many goals and coming here seems to make some teams a different side because it's like a cup final for them," observed the Brabinator ahead of tomorrow's clash, presumably referring to the Setanta Shield or Cambs Invitation Cup finals. "They'll work hard, get people behind the ball and try to frustrate us, but we've just got to be patient and I'm confident we'll get a result."

It's good to know we won't be taking our lowly opponents lightly, although judging by some of our previous performances against the divisions basement dwellers, I'm not convinced his words of caution always filter through to the players. If we're going to keep a modicum of pressure on bottling Burton, three points in games like this are a must. The Brewers face an improving Salisbury City tomorrow, and although they were a total shambles when we played them before Christmas, Nick Holmes' side have picked up draws against Kidderminster and Wrexham recently, and could cause Roy Mac's boys a few problems.

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U's:2 Stags:1

Aren't last minute goals great?

There's nothing better than an injury time winner to send you home from a football match in a good mood. Conversely, there's nothing worse than going away and succumbing to a late strike. We've all been there, so it's hard not to feel a little bit sorry for the travelling Mansfield fans who were at last nights match. Only a little bit though.

United put in a display that the comeback kids of 2007/08 would have been proud of to see off the challenge of the swiftly improving Stags. Mansfield have been one of the divisions form sides since David Holdsworth took over just after Christmas, and if they continue to perform as they did last night they will surely be there or there abouts next season. Holdsworth's team play what is probably the ideal style for the Conference; strong, direct, and no-nonsense at the back, but fast and fluid in the final third. The only thing they lacked was a killer touch in front of goal, with neither Mark Stallard nor spot kick king Rob Duffy (pen) doing much in open play. The imminent arrival of everyones favourite camera licker, Daryl Clare, could make the difference in that department though.

The visitors were much the better side in the first, with United flagging, perhaps due to a combination of tiredness, and complacency following Saturday's excellent win. Danny Potter had to turn a free kick from pint size winger Ryan Williams onto the crossbar after it deflected off Hatswell, and from the resulting corner it took a good block from a United defender to thwart Scott Gardner, whose shot from 12 yards appeared to be goalbound.

Too many passes were going astray from a United perspective, and our best moments of the half both came from set pieces, with Rendell turning well but seeing a shot blocked after latching onto a Hatswell free kick, and Willmott heading wide from a Pitt corner.

But just as it looked like United were getting a foothold in the match, Mansfield scored. The referee, who seemed set on compensating for Williams' lack of height by giving him loads of free kicks, awarded another soft one near the left touchline. The winger's cross was a good one, whipped in towards the far post, where Duffy (pen) swooped to head past Potter. He seemed to quite enjoy the goal, and received an inevitable booking for his over-zealous celebration in front of the NRE.

At this time we appeared to be in some trouble, but this team seems to have forgotten how to lose at the moment, and came out for the second half in much more purposeful mood. And as against Burton, our purpose was rewarded with an early goal. Just four minutes of the half had elapsed when a nice move involving Carden and Gleeson saw the ball passed out to Willmott. He cut inside and stood up a tempting cross which a suspiciously offside looking Rendell nodded past Alan Marriott. To misquote Girls Aloud, he's just a goal machine. 1-1.

Now it was all United, with Marriott saving well from Hatswell, and seeing a Rendell volley fly wide. The Stags still looked dangerous on the break, and Nathan Arnold almost scored goal of the season when he ran from the edge of his own box, swapped passes with Jonathan D'Layrea, but shot just wide. But their attacks were becoming fewer and further between, and Reason gave us a taste of what was to come when he volleyed narrowly wide from the edge of the box.

Chris Holroyd, who put in another lively stint up front, was forced to leave the pitch with a bloody nose moments later after taking a blow to the face; hopefully there's no permanent damage done to his boyish good looks. He was replaced by the returning Parky, who came close to a goal when he met Courtney Pitt's cross only to be denied by a lunging block from Paul Mayo.

At this stage the game looked set to end in amber frustration, with Marriott pulling off a great stop to foil Reason's blast, and Rendell just failing to connect properly with a knock down from sub Danny Crow.

But as we entered the third minute of stoppage time, the Ipswich loanee saw another shot deflected behind for a corner. Carden curled the flag kick into the back post, Hats nodded the ball back into the danger zone and Reason raced in to flick the ball past Marriott. Wooooooooo, 2-1.

At almost the exact same moment somewhere in the frozen north, Barrow's Mark Boyd was scoring a wondergoal to sink Histon, a result which made our win even sweeter. With the gap between ourselves and Burton now down to a not-that-big-actually seven points, it will be interesting to see how the Brewers react tonight at Ebbsfleet. They're not really under pressure yet, but if they drop points in their upcoming fixtures against some of the divisions lesser lights, that glimmer of hope which the Brabinator is clinging onto might start to get a bit bigger. Bounce bounce!

Man of the Match: Scott Rendell - After looking off-colour on Saturday, Scotty was back to his best last night, linking play brilliantly and netting the all important equaliser.

Crap celebration of the Match: Although I don't approve of kill-joy ref's carding players for their goal celebrations, Duffy (pen)'s star jumping effort probably deserved a yellow for rubbishness alone.

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Mansfield

Much as I'm not a big fan of the Brabinator's pre and post game bore-a-thons, at least our leader doesn't yet talk about himself in the third person.

At our lowly level of football, it usually indicates that the ego of the individual in question is running riot. Steve Evans, the self appointed "Blue Square Special One", is the best example of course, but it seems that David Holdsworth, manager of tonight's opponents Mansfield, is already treading a similar path.

"He has brought into David Holdsworth and into Mansfield Town Football Club," he told the Mansfield Chad, referring to his goalkeeper Alan Marriott's decision to sign an extended contract. One suspects that the potential alternative of being unemployed was a more significant motivating factor in Marriott's decision.

But who am I to argue with Holdsworth who, judging by this video on the Mansfield official website, is quite an intimidating character. In fact, in the unlikely event that a royal rumble is ever organised between Conference managers, I'd probably back him and the Brabinator to be the last men standing. That's assuming Evans doesn't sit on all the other competitors that is.

Shares in David Holdsworth will almost certainly be on the rise if his team can end United's eight game unbeaten streak. I notice they don't concede a lot of goals, and we tend to struggle against sides who, to borrow Jose Mourinho's classic phrase, "park the bus". But it does seem that Holdsworth will be employing his favoured 4-3-3 formation, which could give United's wingers a bit of space to operate in. I guess it will be a tight game either way, so lets hope we come out on top.

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U's:2 Brewers:0

I wasn't joking when I said that I'm rubbish at predictions. But I didn't expect my forecasts to go wrong so soon, and in such emphatic style.

In what must surely be our best performance season, United dominated and dispatched the league leaders in the kind of comfortable fashion befitting a team in top form. There are numerous positives to take from yesterdays game, but for me the biggest is that the result is the culmination of five weeks of gradual improvement, both from the Brabinator in his selections and from the team on the pitch.

For long periods of the season I feel we've been the footballing equivilant of Graeme Hick; happy to dispatch terrible opponents but coming up short when faced with anyone with a bit of quality. However, if we can maintain the form of the last few weeks we'll have nothing to fear if we do make the play offs. Exciting times indeed.

Since they changed their name to Derby Manager Nigel Clough's former club Burton Albion, the Brewers have maintained their impressive pre-Christmas form, with United legend Roy McFarland picking up young Nigel's mantle. Even after yesterdays result, they'll surely wrap up the title sooner rather than later, and it's easy to see why their record is so good, as they zip about the pitch with pace and precision. Although United probably had more possession in the first half, DMNCFCBA had the better chances, with midfield baldy twins McGrath and Simpson shooting wide from outside the box, and Shaun Harrad almost finding the net with a lofted shot that required Danny Potter to athletically claw the ball over the bar.

United's best efforts came from Hatswell, who, as in the Crawley game, should have done better with a free header from close range, and Jai Reason, whose curling free kick was turned over the bar by Kevin Poole, one of the few remaining folk in world football who was playing when I first started watching United and hasn't retired yet.

If the first half was a closely fought contest, the second was totally one-sided, with Carden and Reason assuming control in midfield and pinning Burton back inside their own half. Ten minutes of pressure were rewarded with the 55th minute opener. Tonkin and Pitt worked some space down the left, and the Pittster cut inside and saw his cross take a delicious deflection to loop perfectly into the path of Rendell, who made no mistake from close range. 1-0.

Scotty was about the only United player not on his game yesterday, and one wonders whether three months of almost constant football is beginning to take it's toll, given that he spent most of 2007 on the sidelines. He could've made it 2-0 when Reason's superb through ball found him in space on the right. But after drawing Poole, his attempt at a lofted shot was uncharacteristically weak, and the veteran keeper blocked it away before his defence dealt with the rebound.

At this point Roy Mac did us a favour by withdrawing Andy Corbett and sending on striker Greg Pearson, switching to a 4-3-3 formation. But all this did was afford more space to Pitt and Willmott on the flanks, and the United domination continued. Holroyd was inches away on a couple of occasions before we doubled our lead and wrapped up the match. A Burton attack broke down, and Reason seized on the loose ball before playing a superb pass through to Willmott. Robbie's electric pace took him away from the defence, and for once he kept his cool admirably and beat Poole with a low trickler that found the far corner. 2-0.

Burton looked a broken team, and their fate was sealed when Butler lunged in on Danny Potter and was shown a red card. As he's one of my favourite players ever, I'm inclined to give Butts the benefit of the doubt and say the challenge probably only warranted a yellow, and it was a sad ending to what could be his last ever appearance at the Abbey.

All that was left was for Andy Parkinson to make his long awaited return from injury, replacing Willmott for the last five minutes. And the scouse schemer could have capped his debut with a marvellous goal, but his attempted chip from 20 yards was parried over by Poole. Oh well, you can't have everything.


Man of the Match: Jai Reason - Carden and Reason are fast becoming a formidable duo, and hopefully the Brabinator will be able to persuade his old mate Jim Magilton to let us keep the latter for the rest of the season.






Men of the Match (ii): Jez George and Matt Walker - A great effort on behalf of CUFC and young footballers in general. Lets hope their efforts result in a more level playing field for youth development.

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Burton, Butler, and Beesley

It's funny how some names resonate with footballing ineptitude, while others are only associated with the highest quality.

Has anyone decent ever played for United with the surname Robinson? On the basis of the most recent candidates, Marvin and Trevor, you would have to say not. There was also Dave Robinson, a woeful Geordie striker who had a few games for us in the dark days of the mid-90's and, er, I can't think of anymore. If you can remember any Robbo's that buck the trend, then let me know.

By contrast, if you turn up at the Abbey sporting the last name Butler then you've got more than half a chance of a decent Cambridge career. I'm too young to remember Peter Butler, but anyone who can go on to manage those giants of the Malaysian Premier League, Kentalan FA, must've had something about him as a player. Then there was Sir Steve Butler, and more latterly Martin Butler, who will be back tomorrow leading the line for Roy McFarland's Burton Albion.

Butler (M) remains one of my favourite ever United players, and the memories of him, Shaggy, and Trevor Benjamin tearing up Division Three defences are some of the best I have of my time as a United fan. But it is worth remembering that in his first season with the club he struggled, both with finding form and getting over a string of injuries.

I say this because a lot of people have been getting on Mark Beesley's back lately. Admitedly Bees, whose season is probably now over following hip surgery, has been a bit pants recently. But he is clearly a classy player, as he has shown in flashes during his United career thus far, and I hope our supporters will be patient when he returns to the fray. Players are not always instant hits when they join a club, and I think someone of his obvious talent is worth perservering with for a bit longer.

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Tweet tweet

I'm not yet totally convinced by the merits of Twitter. As someone who despises excessive status updates on Facebook, a website which is seemingly entirely dedicated to just that doesn't immediately appeal to me.

But never one to miss a good bandwagon, I've set up a U's Blog Twitter account, so if you're on Twitter and want to become one of my followers (sounds very cult-ish, doesn't it) then log on to http://twitter.com/Us_Blog.

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Come gaze into my crystal ball...

When it comes to forecasting our results I'm usually quite rubbish. I used to do the Moosenet prediction league, but could never bring myself to say that we were going to lose, even when it was blatantly obvious that defeat was on the cards, so soon gave up.

Anyway, this is the time of year when mailing lists, messageboards, and websites start to get clogged up with all and sundry trying to predict how the run in will go. Invariably they are totally wrong, because form always changes at this stage of the season; previously invincible teams on the verge of promotion get the jitters while relegation strugglers find some uncharacteristic good form. Meanwhile mid-table meanderers (usually the likes of Kidderminster or Rushden) either get into holiday mode early and switch off, and go on an impressive run as their players pull their collective finger out in a bid to earn new contracts. In short it's a bit of a mine-field for would-be Mystic Megs.

But because it's Thursday and I'm bored, here's my take on what's going to happen during the rest of the season:

Burton (H): Returning heroes Mcfarland and Butler help the league leaders hold United to a third successive stalemate. Draw

Mansfield (H): Despite the presence of renowned poacher, and ex-United trialist, Rob Duffy(pen), we'll win this fairly comfortably. Win

Barrow (A): Barrow don't lose many at home, probably because most teams are knackered after the two-day trek north. The United players won't be up for this one. Defeat

Northwich (H): We're bound to make heavy weather of the Trickies, but it'll all end happily I'm sure. Win

Woking (A): We always do so well(!) when live on Setanta. Draw

Forest Green (H): My main prediction for this match, one which I expect to be correct, is that Jim Harvey will whinge. A lot. Win

Stevenage (A): A repeat of last year would be nice, but I think this one is going to end in disappointment for our substantial travelling army. Defeat

Eastbourne (H): [cliche]If we're going to get promoted, we need to be beating teams like Eastbourne[/cliche]. Win

Kettering (A): By this stage, hopefully Kettering will be exhausted by their packed schedule. Draw

Salisbury (A): Amber nation invades Wiltshire to cheer their team into the play-offs, hurrah. Win

Altrincham (H): With nothing riding on this game, Brabin brings himself on for a 15-minute cameo, and rolls back the years by netting the winner. Maybe. Win

That run of results would leave us with exactly 80 points, and while I'm not sad enough to predict all the results for the other teams, a total of this ilk would surely be enough to secure a top-five birth. I'll look forward to being made to look a total idiot in the coming weeks.

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Villagers:1 U's:1

Although there are a lot of things I'd happily accuse Gareth Baldwin of, stupidity wouldn't usually be one of them.

But in the wake of the quotes in today's CEN I'm beginning to wonder. Referring to the crowd issues last night which saw 250-300 fans locked out at Bridge Road, he said: "The decision was made by our safety officer because Cambridge sold 590 tickets, so we gave them the whole of the away end and 300 seats in the home end (...) If I'm honest, we didn't think we'd get to capacity, but once we were, Trading Standards and our safety officer said no more fans in the away end."

Baldwin's comments just about sum up why his club are a million miles away from being a professional outfit off the pitch, even if they are pretty good on it. How could anyone in their right mind think that less than 1,000 United fans would turn up on the night to watch their team, given that for a lot of them Histon is probably closer to home than the Abbey? It defies all belief or logic, and to make matters worse they clearly had no contingency plan in place. After the gates were locked they started letting United fans without colours into the home end, but soon put a stop to this, meaning a large number gathered on the hillside to watch the game instead.

So the "massive crowd" predicted by Steve Fallon turned out to be 2,500. Quelle Surprise. The only consolation I can take from having to watch the game in Histon territory (yes I was one of the colour-less few that made it in) was that their own incompetence probably cost them a few thousand quid. Never mind eh.

The absent masses didn't really miss a lot as the match itself was fairly low quality, being played as it was on a surface which made any move involving the players taking more than one touch virtually impossible. United sprung a surprise by naming last minute signing Lee Phillips in the starting line up. I'm not entirely sure that getting yet another player in is a good idea, even if Beesley is going to miss the rest of the season. I'm sure our budget is already stretched to breaking point, and with Parky set to return soon Willmott could feasibly be pressed into service up front. And if we are in the business of signing cash-chasing Conference journeymen, we could have at least pushed the boat out to get the greedy journeyman's greedy journeyman, Daryl Clare.

Phillips did little of note on his debut, bar one surging run and shot in the second half that was narrowly wide, though it would perhaps be harsh to judge him too soon, especially on such an atrocious pitch. Nothing much happened at all in the first half, save for a lot of whistling from the referee, who at one point seemed set on penalising Scott Rendell every time his feet left the ground. Heaven knows what watching Setanta pundit, and budding refereers assesor, Steve Evans made of it all.

Jack Midson shot wide when well placed for the Stutes, while Rendell deflected a wayward Gleeson shot into Danny Naisbett's ample midriff. Naisbett also clung onto a volley from Jai Reason, but the half time whistle came as a welcome relief from the tedium on the pitch, if only because it gave us the chance to be deafened by Histon's abnormally loud tannoy.

United at least seem to be able to cope with Histon now, something which could never really be said last season. The start of the second half saw us get right in their faces, and Naisbett was called into action to turn a looping header from Bolland over the bar. Then came the afforementioned Phillips chance, before Hatswell blasted a long ranger high and wide.

Little did we know that the trigger happy defender was just warming up. In the 74th minute Phillips was chopped down 30 yards from goal. The resulting free kick was punched clear by Naisbett, but the ball fell kindly for Hats, who mowed a tremendous dipping 35-yard volley back over the stranded keeper into the top of the net. 1-0.

Unfortunately we all know the Stutes are at their most dangerous in the last ten minutes, and although they looked down and out at this point, their tremendous self belief began to kick in. Free kicks, throw ins, and corners rained down on the United defence, and Antonio Murray spurned a great chance to equalise, beating Potter with an angled shot but seeing his effort come back off the post.

A goal was certainly brewing though, and when it came it was unfortunate that it again stemmed from an error by Pottsy. Our number one looked to have Langston's header under control, but instead of catching or punching effectively, he merely helped in onto the bar, and Midson was on hand to tuck in the rebound. 1-1.

At that stage the Stutes looked the only likely winners, but for all their late pressure they failed to muster another shot on target, and in the end a draw was probably a fair result. As with Saturday's game, I thought the sides were fairly well matched, and while I will never be totally confident when facing the Villagers, I think that if we do end up meeting them again in the Play-Offs we will be more than a match for them and their strong arm tactics.


Man of the Match: Wayne Hatswell - It would be harsh to not give him MotM after such a stunning goal.

Mong of the Match: Plenty to choose from in Histon, but the drunk, spitting, Stutes chav who wandered in our direction in the second half wins. Fair play to the tattooed but very polite steward who reprimanded him for "acting like a div".

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Tonights MASSIVE derby

I've come to realise that things often get more hype than they deserve.

At the moment U2 are whoring themselves to anyone who will take them as they promote their new album, which will inevitably be jam packed with the same old turgid garbage that they have been peddling for the last 15 years. I don't dare touch my red button for fear of accidentally stumbling across footage of their "secret" rooftop gig at the BBC the other day, which imagine amounts to one long, publicly-funded, advert. Still, the cash the album brings in will enable their smug, environment-loving, frontman Bono to keep chartering private jets to fly his lucky hat around. What a hero.

Anyway, yeah, tonights derby match with Histon is getting similar treatment from the CEN; "Cambridge United and Histon are braced for the most important derby clash in their history tonight," it exclaims, without a hint of irony. Personally I find it hard to get excited about a game which probably be witnessed by less people than attended our death match with Crawley on Saturday, but there you go. Steve Y'Know is so uninspired by the game that he couldn't even be bothered to find any mud to chuck at United, instead choosing to indulge in some pointless manager-speak:

" I'm expecting a massive crowd. The way the league is set up at the moment everyone will want to be there. We're looking for a very good atmosphere," he said. Again, no discernible irony, very strange. Anyhow, hopefully the Brabinator will line up in a 4-4-2 formation for tonights game. Histon main threat is likely to come from the flanks, and the narrow shape we've adopted in recent weeks would probably afford them too much space to get in their usual barrage of crosses. Our leader's decision making has been a lot better of late, so I'm sure(ish) he'll make the right choice. Bounce bounce!

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