U's:0 Alty:0

Isn't it amazing how quickly a week's worth of hopeful optimism can drain out of you?

Such is the lot of the football fan I suppose, but at around the time Scott Rendell was defying the laws of physics by heading the ball over the bar from a position where it looked physically impossible not to score, I began to get that familiar sinking feeling. I know we only had an Victoria Beckham-sized chance of winning the thing, but it's normal to feel disappointed, isn't it?

So it was that Burton became possibly the most underwhelming champions in the history of football, despite yet another defeat. That said, the league table doesn't lie, and yesterday was an accurate encapsulation of our season to date; plenty of good approach play, but an inability to convert simple opportunities. And, as my favourite popsters Los Campesinos! put it, when the smaller picture's the same as the bigger picture you know that you're f*****.

Personally I blame the 4000 odd rent-a-fans who turned up for the day to try and grab a slice of the championship glory. One chap standing next to me was telling his mate how he used to be a Macclesfield fan until he moved down south, and that if the two teams meet in the league next season he wouldn't know who to support. Strange mindset if you ask me, but there you go, I guess it's all good money for the club and stuff like that.

From the off it was clear we were going to have plenty of possession against an Alty side for whom scoring a goal didn't seem to be a high priority. In fact the visitors often left eight men behind the ball, with Colin Little and the volatile Chris Denham left to forage alone on the counter attack. The prolific Little reminded me of one of those players you often see in five-a-side who still have the skills even though their physical powers are on the wane. Thus he looked quality when he got on the ball, but added little (hoho) to general play, meaning Wayne Hatswell was free to stride forward almost at will to join the attack.

But the occasion too often seemed to get to the players, whose attempts to walk the ball into the net were thwarted time after time. Aside from his glaring miss, Rendell had a centre palmed away by Stuart Coburn as Holroyd waited to pounce, while the roles reversed moments later when Holroyd beat Coburn, but saw his cross cleared away by Warren Peyton with the goal gaping. Several other corners and free kicks came and went, but you never got the feeling that a goal was imminant.

The one player who seemed to be enjoying the day was Coburn, who I seem to remember played a blinder against us last year too. He saved his best for the second half, turning over an effort from Reason (bizarrely the ref gave a goal kick) and finger tipping a Hatswell volley round the post. Rendell headed another good opportunity straight at the keeper when he should've done better, but by then the game was up anyway, despite the good news filtering through from Devon that the Gulls were doing us a favour.

United ended the match with six forwards on the pitch, with Pitt, Crow, and Phillips all joining the action, but it wasn't enough to beat the inspired Coburn, and for a second successive season we will face play-offs. Graham Westley's in-form Stevenage outfit wouldn't have been my opponents of choice, but we've nothing to fear from them, and a repeat of last years 2-1 success at the Lamex would do nicely thank you very much.

Man of the Match: Jai Reason - It's pleasing that both Jai and Paul Carden have been back to something like their best form in the last couple of games. Reason's passing, particularly in the first half, was a joy to behold.




Crap big game merchandise of the Match: Air Horns - Truly hideous things. Whoever invented them needs to be hunted down and taught a lesson. At least foam hands and flags are quiet enough to be ignored.