U's:2 Red Devils:1

“Effectiveness, that's a virtue in a team. Even when you don't play well, you get an end product. And that's what we're lacking.”

These are the words of Gus Hiddink, coach of Russia, after England handed them a tonking last week. If Steve Evans was as intelligent or thoughtful as the Dutchman, he might’ve said something similar after his Crawley side became the latest victims of Jimmy Quinn’s invincibles last weekend.

In fact, effective is probably the best single word to describe United’s season so far. As has often been the case in the opening weeks, the opposition (In this case Crawley) probably created more chances on Saturday, but we took ours when they came and, as any good cliché-spouting manager will tell you, that’s what football is all about.

JQ made two changes, one expected (Peters for the injured Hoyte) and one not so (Convery for the rested Pitt). Crawley of course have one of my favourite all time players, Paul Raynor (left), as their assistant manager. I remember him fondly from my youth as the man who introduced me to proper swearing, as he stood on the touchline by the Habbin shouting “for f*cks sake pass me the f*cking ball you f*cking tw*ts,” or something similar. It’s a shame he’s now employed by surely the most corrupt club in the Conference at the moment.

Darren Quinton had the first chance of the game when a clever header from Gleeson put him clear on goal. Unfortunately his shot was too close to visiting keeper Ashley Bayes, who made a fairly comfortable parry.

United had much of the early possession, but fell behind to a sucker punch goal. Tyrone Thompson lofted a free kick into the area, where Guy Madjo tumbled under an innocuous looking challenge from Mark Peters. Unfortunately ref Amy Rayner saw what no one else (including most of the Crawley players) saw, and awarded a penalty. Amidst a crescendo of boo’s, Madjo dispatched the spot kick past Danny Potter.
Rayner was displaying her usual take on the rules of football, ie no contact shall be allowed anywhere on the pitch. Both teams were tumbling around all over the show trying to take advantage of this, meaning the game was very stop-start in nature. United again took the initiative, without creating too much, while Crawley strikers Madjo and Pittman both missed glaring opportunities on the break to extend their sides lead. The closest we came was in first half stoppage time when Rendell’s header from a corner was pushed onto the bar by Bayes.

But United roared out of the blocks in the second half with two quickfire goals. The first was created by Reed, who cut onto his right foot and delivered a peach of a cross. Rendell got the faintest of flicks to take the ball away from a defender and into the path of LFW, ghosting in at the back post like a, er, big lanky ghost, to power the ball past Bayes.

The turn around was complete a couple of minutes later. A corner was half cleared to Mark Peters, who found Leo with another good cross. This time Bayes got a hand to his header, but could palm the ball out to Rob Wolleaston who knocked it in from close range.

Now United were rampant, but they couldn’t get a third goal, as the game wore on Crawley began to get closer and closer to the goal as they looked for an equaliser. Subs Vieira and Joseph-Dubois both missed good chances, while Madjo was denied by the alert Potter. There was also time for Glenn Wilson to receive his marching orders after substitute Pitt tumbled theatrically over his trailing leg.

The final action of the match saw Potter dive bravely at the feet of Madjo, securing another crucial three points. If we can go and get something at Altrincham tonight, we’ll be well set for the games against the top two coming up next week.

Man of the Match: Rob Wolleaston – A close run thing between him, Morro, and Gleeson, but Wolly’s shaded it with some energetic running and accurate passing

Chant of the Match: Courtesy of the NRE - “We are invincible, we are invincible, we are invincible, we are invincible.” Repeat till hoarse.