Cliche watch

Compiling a list of all the stupid, overused, phrases in football would be a long and boring task.

The one that immediately springs to mind is “world class”; how on earth do you define this? Is it relative to the players you’re facing? Or to the great names that have gone before? It’s all very confusing, and a bit pointless.

Another good one is “must-win game”, which gets trotted out frequently by stupid pundits and managers with a limited vocabulary. How many games are actually “must-win”? Apart from those on which promotion and relegation issues directly hang, there can be very few encounters that deserve this billing.

And what happens if a “must-win game” ends in a draw? Nothing much, that’s what, as the Villagers and the Chavs found out last night after playing out a 0-0 stalemate.

“This is a must-win game for both sides,” declared Steve Y’know on Radio Cambs before kick off. Yet by the end of the match he was “quite pleased” with a point. Which is it to be Steve?

You would think that Y’know would have plenty of time to compose what he was going to say pre and post game these days, seeing as he seems to do very little other than stand on the touchline looking vacant. There was a very telling shot during the Setanta coverage which showed Histon’s manager (sic) standing quietly in the corner of the dressing room while John Beck bellowed the half time team talk. Still, they always say they’re a partnership, and I’m sure Steve plays a vital role in putting out the cones, or filling the water bottles, or something.

I watched a bit of the game and it was awful. I was especially disappointed with Stevenage, who looked very mediocre for a side on a 22-game unbeaten run. While I know it’s difficult to play any kind of decent football on that thing that passes for a pitch in the village of the damned, if we continue our recent form I see nothing to fear from either side should we meet them in the playoffs.

Other results went our way last night too, notably Torquay blowing one of their games in hand by only drawing at home to Grays. It just goes to show that it’s much better to have the points on the board at this stage of the season. Actually, that sounds like a bit of cliche, I'll just stop talking now.