Are you local?

I work in Royston, a town so strange I sometimes think the local council should tack "Vasey" onto the end of it's name, in recognition of the similarities between here and the fictional setting of the League of Gentleman.

For example, today I was walking down the High Street, minding my own business, when I noticed an old lady pushing her dog along in a buggy. No child in sight, just the dog, it was quite surreal I can assure you. When people start phoning me up asking me if my name is Dave then I'll know I'm in deep trouble.

Sadly this weirdness rarely translates into interesting stories, something which apparently can't be said for Barrow. Witness two of the top ten news items on the website of their local rag, the North West Evening Echo: Dead Cumbrian man whose dogs stood guard over his body named and Barrow babysitter flashed breasts and asked boy, 10, for sex. I can only dream of such excitement in my life.

I hope the players can adapt to such alien surroundings, and against a Bluebirds side shorn of defensive hard bastard Steve McNulty and top scorer Jason Walker, we really need to be looking at picking up another win. Burton play twice before we take to the field again against Woking, so it's imperative that we keep the gap between us from becoming too wide.