Oxford

Everyone knows that our awful long ball style makes us a disgrace to Non-League, a festering boil on the bloated backside of the Blue Square Premier. Jim Harvey says it, Colin Walker says it, every other bitter manager whose team we’ve beaten says it, so it must be true.

With this in mind, it amused me to see the Setanta commentators bigging up Torquay - a team who for my money are several times more direct than us - at every opportunity during last nights Torquay v Aldershot match. “They always try and score goals” noted the ever-insightful Paul Parker, demonstrating that he may slowly be getting to grips with the point of football, bless.

I’ve watched Paul Buckle’s men on about four occasions now and they’ve yet to overly impress me. Their mode of play seems to involve bludgeoning anyone who happens to be in their way, either by using their superior speed or power. Not that I blame them for playing to their strengths or anything, but it’s probably no surprise that they’ve been coming unstuck recently, especially against the better teams.

Nevertheless, they have some good players, and were doing a good job of keeping Aldershot within arms reach until Scott Davies (pictured) popped up with a last gasp winner. Poxy gingers, always up to no good, except Dave Kitson that is. And Ben Farrell. And Prince Harry, who did a sterling job of protecting our great nation from those nasty little Afghans, ho hum.

Anyway, I don’t think even our most optimistic supporter, or Jimmy Quinn, could make a realistic case for us winning the league now – it’s going to take a cock up of massive proportions from the Shots to give us any kind of opportunity. So consolidation of a play off spot has to be the aim, starting with three points in tonights Varsity Derby (sic) at Oxford. Bounce Bounce!