Cambridge United Blog - U's Blog

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, good bye

2010-07-12T21:57:00.007+01:00

So far 2010 has been quite a year for endings. Labour left Downing Street after 13 years, Jack Bauer tortured his last terrorist of indeterminate Arab origin in the final series of 24, and Courtney Pitt bade the Abbey Stadium a fond farewell after five ~~glorious~~ years.

And now it is the turn of U's Blog to say adieu. I started this blog mainly because I enjoy writing about United, but also to give me some sports-writing experience in anticipation of getting a sport-related job in the future. It's paid off, though not quite in the way I expected, and as of this week I have started a new role as Sports Editor for Cambridge First. So if you live in the Cambridge area you'll still be able to read my ramblings, albeit in a more concise format with less lame attempts at humour.

Writing this blog has generally been ace, and I think the last three seasons have summed up life as a CUFC fan - and probably as a football fan in general - pretty well; fleeting moments of hope followed by ultimate crushing disappointment and bitterness. Hopefully that will all change this coming season, and I certainly believe we have the right man in place to do it - Lingy always gives the impression he knows what he's doing, which is a stark contrast to some of his predecessors, and the squad he has assembled should give us a fighting chance of a top-five finish.

So yeah, anyway, thanks to everyone who has read and/or contributed over the past three years, and I hope to make a return to blogging one day if circumstances allow. But for now it's cheerio, cheerio, cheerio.

MG
14/07/2010

Players we love to hate

2010-06-30T20:09:00.006+01:00

One of the best things about being a football fan is that it's quite acceptable to be a brazen hypocrite.

I'm sure there are loads of people out who, like me, spend most of their lives wishing misfortune to befall the majority of the England squad. But come the World Cup we put our differences aside in the hope that they might bring glory to the nation, only to start hating the over-hyped scumbags again when they inevitably get knocked out in the early stages.

Similar rules apply at club level; you can hate a player who repeatedly wrongs your team throughout his career, only to forget his long list of misdemeanors when he dons your club's colours. We haven't signed one of these since the days of big Lemu Fortune-West, so it's quite funny that Lingy has picked up two in the space of a week: Long-haired playmaker Adam Miller and everyone's favourite camera licking flat track bully Daryl Clare.

Miller always struck me as a narky, if talented, sort in his Stevenage days, and I've never really forgiven him for his snarling celebration when he netted a penalty against us at their place in 2007. Clare's crime-sheet mainly consists of regular goals scored against us and a reluctance to stay on his feet for any longer than is necessary, but you can't really sniff at his goalscoring record, which has remained consistently good despite his advancing years and regular changes of employer.

There's no doubting that both are talented additions to an already solid squad. In fact I'd have to say this is probably the strongest, most well balanced, group of players we've had since relegation: There's a good mix of youth and experience and brains and brawn, and no one area of the pitch where we look particularly short of cover. Of course plenty can, and probably will, go wrong between now and the start of the season, but I'm beginning to get genuinely excited about our prospects. Who needs the World Cup anyway?

This, that, and the other

2010-06-20T09:34:00.007+01:00

(Pic (c) The Guardian)

Watching England labour to an uninspiring 0-0 draw with Algeria reminded me of the frustration I often feel when playing FIFA 09 on the Wii.

When the player I'm controlling in the game moves forward, he usually has no options on because his team-mates are standing, static and dis-interested, right next to an opponent. This kind of behaviour is perhaps excusable from the pixelated characters of a video game, but less so from England's mighty heroes, who are supposedly capable of bringing the World Cup home, but on recent evidence would struggle to win the Setanta Shield.

Plenty has already been written about the Algeria match, which in terms of entertainment and quality ranked alongside the United v Chester game last season as one of the worst 90 minutes of football I've ever seen, so I won't say too much more, except that it brought to mind a quote from Pete Davies in his excellent book on Italia 90, All Played Out. Following England's draw with Ireland in that tournament, Davies remarked that, while the rest of the world were trying to put on a show, the teams from the British Isles were "stinking the place out" with their terrible football. Twenty years on it seems little has changed - we still stink.

Back home, Lingy is back from his holidays, and as you will have seen, has completed the signing of Forest Green's Conal Platt. I'm not going to pretend to know anything about him, but on the surface he would appear to be a good signing; experienced enough to know what the Conference is all about, but young enough to improve as we progress. But as a left-winger with the initials CP, he has a hard act to follow, and I hope he is up to the challenge of filling Courtney's giant shorts. Not literally of course, that would be impossible.

Over in the village of the damned, JB is licking his wounds after being gazumped by the mighty, er, Halesowen in his quest to bring in a new centre back. He has apparently now turned his attentions to players from France in a bid to unearth the new Armand One.

"Using my contacts and managerial know-how, I jumped on a plane and went and saw some players at a showcase in Paris. A couple looked like they might be able to do a job for Histon Football Club, so we're looking at the logistics of bringing them over and having another look at them," he told the CEN. Sounds like a winner to me, anyone got Kingsley Mbome's number?

AOB: Brave Lions of Ing-er-land 1 - 1 US Soccerball Kickers

2010-06-13T15:43:00.004+01:00

I hope you're pleased with yourself Adrian Chiles.

Sure, £1million+ (allegedly) is quite a decent yearly salary for a rotund journo who occasionally sports questionable facial hair, especially when all he has to do to earn it is sit on a sofa and make small talk with Kevin Keegan.

But is any amount of money enough to work for ITV, an organisation so incompetent that they managed to play an advert at the exact moment England's brave Stevie G was slotting home the opening goal in last night's game with the USA? What price your journalistic - and broadcasting - integrity, eh Adrian? Chiles profusely apologised for the blunder during the half time break, but he might as well have been apologising for the existence of his employers, who should never be allowed to broadcast a sporting event again. Ever.

Anyway, England's 1-1 draw with America would have been painful viewing had been shown on BBC, CNN, or Al Jazeera. Not because we played particularly badly in my opinion, but because the result was so predictable. England never know what to do when they take the lead - we've seen it time and time again in tournaments over the last few years; they start faffing about, gifting the ball back to the opposition, or lumping it long in the direction of the big man up front, and before long disappointment ensues.

If the equaliser was predictable, the manner of it was less so. Nevertheless, I would stick with Green for the Algeria match, if for no other reason than neither of the replacements are a sure thing; Hart is completely untested, and James is over-the-hill and error-prone. Capello thought Green was the best option yesterday, and I would hope he has enough courage in his convictions not to change his mind after one (admitedly costly) gaffe.

After half time I thought we were much improved, and should have gone on to win the match. We kept the ball reasonably well against awkward opposition, and created plenty of chances. Heskey, Gerrard, and Johnson were the pick of the white-shirted bunch, and again I hope the manager sticks with Mr Em, who did a good job of linking play and was certainly more impressive for much of the game than Rooney.

It wasn't perfect by any means; Lampard was annonymous, the centre-backs look like a disaster waiting to happen, and the usually peerless Capello made two left sided errors, selecting Milner then SWP when Joe Cole should have joined the fray. But with two games against less capable opposition to come, England showed enough for me to remain confident we will top the group. What happens beyond that remains to be seen.

Where there's a Will(mott) there's a way?

2010-06-05T11:35:00.004+01:00

I usually find it difficult to muster up any sympathy for Rio Ferdinand, but even I feel a little bit for the England skipper, whose dream of leading the nation to quarter final defeat in the World Cup has been wrecked by injury.

Still, with no football to worry about perhaps the Man United defender can resurrect Rio's World Cup wind ups, the prank show filmed during the 2006 finals which involved such hilarious japes as, er, pretending to kidnap David Beckham. Every cloud, eh Rio.

Another player dogged by injury recently is Robbie Willmott, but the U's winger is now back to full fitness and gave a very frank interview to BBC Cambs last week admitting that he needs to up his game.

"[Last year] I let my standards drop and it wasn't the best season for myself," he said. "A few people were getting on my back, the injury was a bit of a blessing because it meant I could evaluate everything again."

It's good to hear such reflective talk from Robbie, and it's perhaps a sign of growing maturity in a player who spent most of last term looking grumpy and disinterested. But the proof of the pudding will be whether he can back up his words with action on the pitch. I remember last season he did an interview in the programme where he admitted he needed to play better, and that he switches off sometimes during matches, and there wasn't any discernible difference in his performances after that.

For me this will be a make or break season for Willmott. When he's on his game he's an exciting player, but I still harbour serious doubts as to whether he has the footballing intelligence to make the most of his gifts. Too often his decision making is poor, and it doesn't seem to have improved over two seasons of first team football. We all saw the difference that the far more dynamic Scott Neilson made when he came into the side last season, and Willmott could do with taking a leaf out of his book if he wants his career to progress to the next level.

AOB: Warning, may contain traces of England-related optimism

2010-06-02T21:12:00.003+01:00

There's nothing like listening to talkSPORT to boost your world cup fever. Except perhaps reading the Sun, or watching Sky Sports News, who have no doubt been covering the England squad's flight to South Africa in painstaking, high definition, detail. Multiple-camera-angles-of-blokes-getting-onto-an-aircraft ahoy.

Anyway, whatever your tabloid media of choice, it's hard not to get caught up in the hysteria currently being generated around the World Cup. The press went into overdrive yesterday when Fabio Capello named his squad for the tournament, with names leaking into the public domain via Twitter like a tap with a worn-out washer.

As is often the case, in my opinion it was a lot of fuss about nothing, because Capello's selection of squad players is completely irrelevant. I didn't agree with all his decisions - I would've taken Walcott and Parker, and would have left Wright-Phillips and Carrick behind for example - but either way it's unlikely to make much difference. Is there much to choose between Wright-Phillips, Lennon, and Walcott? Not really, they've all had decent games and shocking games for England, so you wouldn't want to rely on any of them to be the difference between winning and losing the trophy.

For me it boils down to this; As usual, England can win the World Cup, but as usual they probably won't. For us to win it, we need everything to go right, and that means all our big players staying injury free and in form. There's no point Lennon playing a blinder if Rooney gets sent off, or Gerrard goes missing, or Ferdinand and Terry doze off and make some kind of catastrophic elementary error. I know it's a team game and all that, but with the squad players being much of a muchness, I don't think the selection posers that Fabio faces will be make or break.

But as I say, I think we can win it. It's not always the best team that goes to the final - look at France in 2006, or Germany in 2002. You just need to get on a run, and have a bit of fortune with the draw, referees, etc. I don't think we have a Zidane or Ballack figure to inspire us on the pitch, but we possibly have one in the dug-out. Now, where did I put my St George's flag?

Hoooooooooooooof

2010-05-21T16:26:00.007+01:00

I'm surely not the only one who often has Mika popping into their head when they think of Brian Saah.

The thought process usually goes something like this; Brian Saah >>> full name Big Brian Saah >>> or just Big Brian >>> is beautiful >>> I start humming the Mika hit Big Girl (you are Beautiful).

Now that the former Leyton Orient man has penned a new two-year contract, I reckon Big Brian, you are beautiful could be a new terrace anthem. Make it happen Newmarket Road End, make it happen.

Anyway, it's happy, and perhaps surprising, news that Big Brian will be donning the amber and black next year. Of the three out-of-contracters, I think that in a way his would have been most damaging departure. Although it's probably more difficult to replace a 20-goal striker like the Crow, who today completed his transfer to Luton (hiiiiisssssss), Saah is a Ling man, so if he had left us it wouldn't have said very much about our promotion chances next year, or about our manager's ability to attract the players he wants.

The football being played at the Glassworld Stadium is likely to be considerably less beautiful than our number five now that John Beck is back at the helm.

"I don't think there's another manager in the country that can do this job and offer what Histon needs," said a typically bullish Beck, after signing a two-year contract at the Glassworld.

In a way he's right: there probably aren't many managers more suited to taking the bunch of young, inexperienced, players the Villagers are likely to end up with next year and turning them into an ultra-fit, well-disciplined, football machine. However, after his last, disastrous, spell at the helm of United, it remains to be seen whether he can be successful without the steadying hand of Steve Y'Know to keep him in check and stop him from going too mental. Should make for interesting viewing either way.

AOB: Naming, shaming, and blaming

2010-05-19T12:34:00.006+01:00

Happy news, we're never going to have to play Stevenage Borough again.

Unfortunately this isn't because they've ceased to exist, or suffered relegation to the Herts Senior League, but because the clever bods in the Lamex Stadium boardroom have decided to remove the Borough from their name.

“Looking to the future, the directors do not believe the connotation of the word Borough in the name should be carried into the Football League," said ~~Borough~~ Stevenage chairman Phil Wallace. "It’s served us well as a non-league club in the climb up the non-league pyramid and we shall always be ‘The Boro’ in recognition of our roots, but now it’s time to look to the future."

Personally I think nothing screams Non-League quite like changing your name (see Ebbsfleet and Fleetwood) and if they really do want to improve their image I would suggest more radical action. Like removing the "Stevenage" part of their title. And moving to a nicer part of Hertfordshire. And sacking Graham Westley. And getting some new fans. Actually, thinking about it, losing the Borough bit is probably a lot easier.

Some who - effortless segue alert - probably wouldn't mind changing his name this week is Lord Triesman, who has resigned his position at the FA and with the World Cup 2018 bid team after he was caught on tape making some serious allegations about rival bids to a female associate. As football administrators go, Triesman always struck me as being a fairly decent chap. He was prepared to voice his concern on Premier League debt (a subject on which, given the Portsmouth situation, he turned out to be correct) and seemed to have a good understanding of what was going on at grassroots level.

Triesman was a bit of a birk to go blabbing to the first young woman who batted her eyelids in his direction, but I lay the blame for his departure firmly at the feet of the Daily Mail. In my opinion the Mail can be found at the root of many of the world's problems, but one thing I wouldn't usually accuse them of being is unpatriotic. But in this case they have published a story which may have done fatal damage to England's world cup bid, an event which could have really galvanised the people of "broken Britain". They really are a despicable publication, and fair play to Gary Lineker for showing his disapproval by severing all ties with them. Hopefully they'll stick to immigrant bashing and miracle cancer cures in future.

New boys, old boys, and soon-to-be old boys

2010-05-11T16:53:00.006+01:00

It's occurred to me over the last few days that David Cameron's imminent appointment as Prime Minister is a bit like when Chairman George assumed control at CUFC.

Don't laugh, it makes sense when you think about it: Nobody was convinced putting either of them in charge was a brilliant idea to begin with, but both ascended to the top job in the absence of any better options, leaving the rest of us to cross our fingers and pray that they don't screw up too badly. That didn't really work out so well in the case of good old Mr Rolls, so we can only hope Cameron doesn't follow his lead and clumsily implement massive, unpopular, budget cuts in all departments. Oh, hang on a minute.

If only one of the political leaders had shown as much passion during their election campaign as Jez George has during his walk for change, then maybe the country wouldn't be in this mess. The term legend gets banded about a lot in football, but our director of football is one of the few truly befitting of the title.

His exploits in the name of fair funding for youth football are well documented, and the climax of his walk, last night's all star game, was a wonderful occasion. Of the old boys on show, Dion Dublin was of course sublime, and scored a marvellous goal which may or may not (I prefer may not) have been slightly choreographed. Lee Philpott, shorn of his shocking early 90s haircut, pinged the ball around with precision, while Matt Joseph, one of my favourite players of his era, still looked impressive at right back.

What will have been of more concern to U's fans is the new boys on show. I said on here before that I'm not a massive fan of Naisbitt, and unless he's significantly cheaper I fail to see the point of getting shot of Potter to make way for him. But I'll keep an open mind, as I will on our other refugee from Glassworld, Danny Wright. I don't know anything about James Jennings, the new left back, but as a former Kettering player you would assume he can mix it physically, something Aiden Palmer didn't always do, and which probably contributed to his departure.

Speaking of departures, Gleeson to Luton sounds like a done deal, though Lingy's comments today leave the door open for Crow and Big Brian to sign on the dotted line. Fingers crossed.

Decision time for the nation (and some footballers)

2010-05-06T18:23:00.004+01:00

So after weeks of campaigning, posturing, and mud-slinging, today is the day the men and woman - bigoted or otherwise - of Great Britain go the polls.

Red or Blue, Gordon or David, SaBro or SamCam, one lot of lying, self-serving shysters or the other? Or even the Lib Dems? Who knows, but I for one hope the Conservatives fail miserably, if for no other reason than I want to see what the headline would be in tomorrow's Sun.

Someone who has two big decisions to make today is Dan Gleeson, and one can only hope he is more decisive at the ballot box than he is when it comes to signing a contract, otherwise he could be there all night. According to this morning's Evening News the right back is considering lucrative offers from two Conference clubs alongside the new deal offered by United.

"I'm a Cambridge lad and it's a hard decision to make. It's something I've got to carry on thinking about and I might have made a decision by the weekend," he said, hurridly stuffing the Luton Homebuyers Guide into his inside pocket. "It's not easy, because I've been at United since I was 15, apart from the year away at Notts County. And I've supported the club since I was a kid, standing in the Newmarket Road end."

Players always make these kind of wishy-washy statements at this time of year, but money usually talks in football, and - sadly - it probably will in this case. After all, what's years of standing on a terrace as a child worth when you compare it to an extra £200 per week in your pocket?

If, as has been suggested, Gleese is being offered a substantial payrise elsewhere, I for one wouldn't blame him for taking it. Realistically his career is unlikely to progress above League Two (no offence Dan if you're reading), and at 25 he is at an age where he needs to start maximising income before he retires.

Making a sidesways move is a little unambitious, but it's understandable in this case, and if he does go I'll wish him all the best. I'll be more offended if Crow or Saah, two players who are easily capable of playing in League One, join other Conference clubs. I'm sure we'll find out soon enough which way their votes have gone.

Ups and downs and ins and outs

2010-05-04T14:29:00.012+01:00

Nothing much has happened CUFC-wise in the last week or so.

Various players are ruminating over new deals, others are seeking alternative employment, and Jez George is still walking the length and breadth of the country in the company of a plethora of minor celebrities, but other than the usual deathly calm of the close season has descended upon the Abbey.

It's somewhat busier elsewhere, with the make-up of the Conference play-off finals having been decided in the last couple of days. Alfreton face Fleetwood in the North, Bath and Woking square up in the South, and one of York or Oxford will be joining Stevenage in League Two.

York saw off Luton to make the Wembley final, and as you've probably seen on television, the Luton fans didn't take too kindly to being condemned to another season of trips to the likes of Histon and Tamworth, invading the pitch to try and get at the York fans and players.

The scenes at Kenilworth Road were quite extraordinary, but maybe they will force the Hatters hierarchy to get a grip of their problematic supporters. It may, as chairman Nick Owen has said, be a minority causing the trouble, but it's a sizable minority, and they've been at it all season, as we found out at first hand. There's no place for that kind of behaviour in modern football, and the hefty fine which should be heading their way will perhaps help to lift the collective denial which seems to afflict their more sensible supporters.

From a purely footballing perspective, it would have been better for us had Luton got promoted, as I suspect they are the only one of the four play-off sides who will be stronger next season. Still, it's quite funny that they've got to do at least another year of purgatory, and fair play to the chaps at FC Boro for this amusing little piece rubbing their noses in it.

Meanwhile, the Villagers are on the look out for a new boss, although they apparently haven't told the old boss. Good, professional, stuff from Bridge Road as usual. The brief job advert on their website doesn't give much by way of a personal specification, but presumably anyone with experience in tree surgery will shoot to the top of the short-list.

U's release retained list & light at the end of the tunnel for the Villagers?

2010-04-28T07:35:00.007+01:00

Since the departure of Tony Roach, it's all been a bit quiet at the Glassworld.

No lunatic ramblings about being the biggest club in Cambridge, no sackings of club legends, and no employing amateur aborists, it's all got a bit boring.

But fresh from their heroic escape from relegation (courtesy of, er, Forest Green failing to beat Grays), the Villagers are obviously in a good mood again, as they've wheeled out some other chap to make the bizarre suggestion that they might go full time next year.

"More facilities are available during the day because we don't need them to be floodlit. During the evening we need lights, which makes it more expensive and harder to find the right ones," said Alan Soraff in yesterday's CN. Ahh, so it's floodlighting costs which have got them into a financial mess, I don't why nobody has thought of this before. Instead of going full-time, perhaps they could buy all their players miners helmets with lamps on them. Then they could train anywhere, at any time, and illumination wouldn't be a problem.

Uncle Fester, who apparently still thinks he'll be in a job next season despite a record of three wins in 22 games, also chipped in: "It's easier. They eat together, work together and, to be honest, that is what builds spirit in the club." Interesting that, because Fallon and Beck never seemed to have a problem instilling team spirit into their part-time charges. Perhaps the problem lies elsewhere, hmm.

In all seriousness, going full-time has often marked the death-knell for a lot of small teams without the fanbase to support it and, lighting problems aside, I fail to see how it would make sense for the Villagers.

Over at United, the retained list came on Monday and didn't throw up any big surprises. You can't really argue with Lingy's reasoning, as outlined in this CN article, but one thing which did worry me a bit was the goalkeeping situation, with Ling explaining: "Simon [Brown] has done a great job since he came here and if he signs, I see him as a player-coach, who will also put pressure on another senior keeper."

I kind of assumed Brown would be our only custodian next season, with Laurie Walker or a similar young player providing back up. The revelation that another senior keeper could be arriving adds fuel to the rumours that Danny Naisbett is making the switch from across the A14. I'll be a bit disappointed if we've got rid of Potter to sign that useless lump, but I guess we'll have to wait and see what transpires.

...and so we face, the final curtain (Alty 0 - 2 U's)

2010-04-25T15:05:00.006+01:00

As another season approaches it's zenith, spare a thought for poor old Alan Green.

It must be a difficult life for 5Live commentator Green, whose job involves travelling to Football's biggest matches and watching the individual genius of players like Messi, Ronaldo, and Rooney at first hand. But apparently we don't know just how hard it is.

"This is dire" he lamented during today's Birmingham derby. "It sums up what a terrible Premiership season it has been." And he's got to endure the World Cup next month, bless his heart. If Alan is so unhappy with his lot perhaps he should do the listening public - and himself - a favour and apply his talents to another sport. Like gymnastics. Or fencing.

Mr Green is of course entitled to his opinion, but I don't think you can really appreciate dire until you've seen Andy Parkinson scurry around ineffectively for 90 minutes. And I hate to think what his comments would have been had he sat through the Chester game at the Abbey, or the Eastbourne game, or at least half a dozen other matches United have participated in during 2009/10, a season which at long last limped to a conclusion yesterday with a 2-0 win at Altrincham.

Despite our travails in the middle third of the season, like most fans I go into the summer break with a good deal of hope for next term, not least because of the emergence of Adam Marriott. Super Maz leapt from the bench again yesterday to net two goals to leave Lingy purring; "I think he'll be a product, I really believe it. Goals speak words and the kid can finish."

Goals speak words eh, profound stuff. But I do think the boss deserves credit for the way he has handled Marriott's introduction to the first team. By restricting his on-pitch time he has minimised the pressure on the striker's young shoulders, as well as hopefully keeping his feet on the ground. We've all seen young players who think they've made it before they have - Luke Guttridge being an obvious recent example - and while there will inevitably be big expectations of Marriott ahead of next year, it won't do anyone any good if he starts to believe his own hype.

The other notable aspect of Lingy's post match utterances was the possibility of him bringing in another coach. He's been speaking in glowing terms about Cardy recently, and it will be interesting to see how the dynamic between the two is affected if one of the gaffer's old muckers - Dean Smith or Kevin Nugent for example - arrive over the summer. There's no doubt having another person to sit on the bench with the boss would be an advantage, but on the other hand it could lead to a three's a crowd situation, with Carden being the odd one out...

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Altrincham game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Jez begins his yomp for youth

2010-04-21T15:08:00.003+01:00

I think we all agree Jez George is a good egg.

Not content with overseeing the youth team which has produced first team players such as Willmott, McAuley, and Coulson, he has today set off on his latest "walk for change" to highlight the inqualities in youth funding received by clubs in the non-league when compared to that available to league clubs.

The unjust distribution of money has long been one of football's biggest problems, and spotters badge awarded to the poster on the CUFC messageboard who spotted this little gem in the Observer's excellent Said and Done column:

Number crunching
• £16m: New increased annual Premier League parachute payments to be made to each relegated club, up from £12m. Payments could be extended this summer from two years to four.
• £15m: annual Premier League contribution to the Football Foundation, supporting grassroots football.

So instead of investing in the grassroots game which, lest we forget, provides many of the young players who make the Premier League the spectacle that it is, they prefer to splurge more cash on badly run clubs like Portsmouth (debt: £120million and counting) who pay mediocre shite like John Utaka thousands of pounds a week and can't afford relegation as a result.

One hopes this selfish, short-sighted, approach will come back to bite the Premier League and it's members in their bloated behinds at some stage, but I'm not holding my breath.

More information on the Walk for change and the Protect Football's Future campaign can be found at; http://www.protectfootballsfuture.co.uk/

U's 4 - 1 Haze - Growing up badly

2010-04-19T15:53:00.007+01:00

None of us are getting any younger. Except policemen. And maybe Cliff Richard.

It was my birthday last week, and while I'm still clinging onto my 20's, I'm beginning to feel the pull of middle age. On Sunday I mowed my own lawn for the first time in my life (that's because I've only just acquired a lawn by the way, not because I usually get someone else to do it), and spent time tidying the shed, feeling a vague sense of satisfaction on completion of my tasks. It's worrying, very worrying.

But I hope that as I get older some things never change, such as the slight feeling of awe that comes with meeting a professional footballer, even a fifth tier one with questionable arm tattoos.

Because before Saturday's match with Hayes and Yeading, I got to shake hands with the great Danny Crow, and the occasion had me stumbling over my words and grinning inanely like a bashful school girl. Danny went on to prove his greatness by netting two more goals as United strolled to a comfortable victory over Hayes, but it was the performance of his strike partner, Adam Marriott, that really caught the eye.

Maz is different gravy, ketchup, mayonnaise, burger sauce, or any other condiment you can think of. He seems to [cliche]have everything in his locker[/cliche], and while he is still a bit immature as a player - as evidenced in the second half of Saturday's game when he brilliantly bamboozled three players but then tried to score from a ridiculous angle when a pass to the unmarked Simon Russell would've left the winger with a tap in - next season I think he'll be making big waves.

Other than that it was fairly routine stuff, with McAuley, Russell, and Palmer particularly standing out. Lingy's comments at the end about "peoples favourites leaving" in the close season suggest that, as expected, the end as nigh for Danny Potter, which would be a shame, but probably not a surprise given the form of Simon Brown and the need to cut costs - I would assume Pottsy is one of our higher paid players.

Elsewhere, Stevenage are in the football league, Man Utd are back in the title race, and Histon are likely survive their relegation battle due to other teams being shitter than them. Forget immigrants or knife crime, if these aren't examples of Broken Britain then I don't know what are, and I'll vote for any MP who promises to come up with a suitable solution.

*Send us your 20-word match report on the Hayes and Yeading game. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Lingy's contract conundrum

2010-04-16T10:53:00.009+01:00

Uncertainty hangs over the heads of many Cambridge United players at the moment like a giant cloud of volcanic ash.

The smog is likely to remain until Monday week, when Lingy will announce which of our amber heroes have been offered contracts for next season. In the mean time, because speculation is always fun and I can't think of anything enlightening to say about our meaningless 0-0 draw with Oxford, here's what I would do were I in the manager's shoes. I'm not counting Beesley, Farrell, or Courtney (sob), as Ling has already made it clear they won't be coming back.

Goalkeepers
Simon Brown - CONTRACT: Brown or Potter would both make excellent number one's for next year. But I'd plump for the former because a) he's the man in possession of the shirt, and has done very little wrong since he arrived, b) he's a Ling player, and thus represents a break from the previous regimes, and c) he brings a bit of extra experience to what will probably be a fairly young squad next year. Sadly this means that...

Danny Potter - RELEASE: I love Pottsy as much as the next person, but it's probably time for a change to freshen things up for all concerned. He remains a top keeper at this level, and should have no problem finding new employers.

Laurie Walker - CONTRACT: Or should that be non-contract? Either way, it would be good to keep him on as cheap back up to Browny.

Defenders
Already Contracted: Dave Partridge - Hard as nails centre back. Not a left back.
Blaine Hudson - Giant hot prospect

Dan Gleeson - CONTRACT: A no-brainer really, the only possible snag could be interest from league clubs.

Aiden Palmer - CONTRACT: Definitely has the talent, but for me there are question marks over his physical strength and his concentration - he seems to drift out of position from time-to-time. Worth persevering with though I think, and will benefit from a pre-season not spent at her majesty's convenience.

Josh Coulson - CONTRACT: I'd have said no until recently, but Josh has upped his game over the last couple of months.

Brian Saah - CONTRACT: Again a no-brainer assuming he doesn't get a better offer. Please stay Big Bri'.

Daryl Coakley - CONTRACT: Never let the side down when called upon. Decent back-up.

Kevin Roberts - RELEASE: Possibly a bit harsh, as I've only seen Robbo play twice, but with Gleeson and McAuley in the squad do we need another senior right back?

Midfield
Already Contracted: Paul Carden - Captain/Assistant Manager/Scouser
Robbie Willmott - Occasionally awesome, permanently petulant winger.
Luke Berry - CRC blonde bombshell.

Antonio Murray - RELEASE: Done a few good things (including that great goal against Salisbury) but not enough to justify a longer stay.

Rory McAuley - CONTRACT: Probably our young player of the season.

Jai Reason - CONTRACT: Seems to have taken Courtney's role as the player who most divides opinions among fans, but there's a good player in there if you ask me.

Simon Russell - CONTRACT: Very impressive since arriving from York, his versatility could be crucial next year.

Scott Neilson - CONTRACT (if poss): I guess it's unlikely he'll be hanging around, but would be nice if we could arrange a season-long loan or something similar. Quality player at this level.

Sam Ives - RELEASE: Good coming off the bench, but hasn't been able to influence games on his starting appearances.

Jordan Patrick - CONTRACT: Talented player from the little I've seen. Hopefully he'll get some game time in the next two fixtures.

Strikers
Danny Crow - CONTRACT: Need I say more. The only problem I forsee is that if he has a good world cup it could alert Real Madrid.

Phillips and Willock - RELEASE: Shame we can't combine these two, not least because the composite player could have the amusing name Callee Phillock. A total of two goals between them isn't good enough, we can do better.

Adam Marriott - CONTRACT: Jez George says he's the most talented young player he's worked with, and who am I to argue with the man who unearthed Robbie Simpson et al.

AOB: Paris St Germain 3 - 1 Bordeaux

2010-04-14T15:30:00.009+01:00

Erding nets PSG's second goal (photo (c) www.psgmag.net)

Even though it doesn't have the best reputation, I've always had a soft spot for the French league.

Alright, so the quality isn't really comparable with that of the English Premiership, and the propensity of managers to play 4-5-1 away from home means the goals don't always flow freely. But since Lyon's powers began to wane a couple of years ago, it has become one of Europe's most open divisions.

This season six teams are still in a shot of the title, including reigning champions Bordeaux, who I was lucky enough to see in action last Saturday night at Paris St Germain.

I half-heartedly follow the fortunes of serial-underachievers PSG, who are, as usual, bumbling along in mid-table. This represents a disappointing first season in charge for coach Antoine Kombouare, whose squad includes experienced campaigners such as Claude Makalele and Ludovic Guily.

The atmosphere inside PSG's Parc-des-Princes ground pre-match was akin to that of a funeral. Not because it was quiet you understand, but because the supporters in the Bolougne end of the ground unveiled a massive grey and black flag featuring a mysterious figure known only as Yann. As kick off approached many songs were sung mourning Yann's passing, while several white roses were also chucked onto his banner in tribute.

Mrs U's Blog and I assumed that he was some kind of sinister cult leader, until a fan in an adjacent seat informed us that he was in fact a prominent member of a hooligan groupe anglais casuale who was killed in a confrontation between the Bolougne Boys and PSG supporters from the rival Tribune Auteuil, who stand at the other end of the ground. Astonishing stuff, and something I doubt you'd see in English football these days.

Apart from the concept of supporters fighting amongst themselves, the other major difference between the English and French football experience I noticed was the amount of marijuana use within the stadium. But the game that was visible through the smokey haze was a good one; Bordeaux had the better of the early stage, passing it about neatly without really hurting PSG. But the complexion of the contest changed in the 31st minute when Girondins keeper Ulrich Rame hurtled out of the area and handled the ball under pressure from PSG striker Melvut Erding.

The stopper was shown a red card, and replacement keeper Keita's first job was to pick the ball out of the net, with Sylvan Armand's free kick taking a slight deflection and zipping over the outstretched arm of the guardien.

Guily hit the bar just before half time with an explosive volley, but after the break the ten men had the better of it, with Ligue Une's outstanding player of last season, Yohan Gourcuff, pulling the strings in midfield.

But the reigning champions still couldn't break through the home defence, and then pressed the self destruct button again in the 74th minute. Keita scuffed a clearance straight to Guillame Hoarau, who quickly laid it off to Erding. The Turk, who spent much of the match buzzing around ineffectively like a bee trapped in a jam jar, took the ball into the box before crashing a shot into the net via the underside of the bar for his 12th league goal of the season.

Bordeaux were briefly back in contention when Sane flicked in an 80th minute header from a free kick, but an almost identical goal from Hoarau in the 85th wrapped up the points of the home side. "We drink a beer for Paris, we drink a beer for Yann" sang the Bolougne Boys as the match drew to a close, though perhaps the joy was tempered by the fact that their victory handed the initiative in the title race to their bitter rivals Marseille. It should be an interesting last few weeks in Ligue Une.

Stuff

2010-04-13T10:06:00.008+01:00

Hello all. I'm back from holiday and have returned to a country gripped by ELECTION FEVER. Sort of.

As far as I can tell this election campaign so far has been much like United's season - boring, much too long, and featuring a cast incompetents, none of whom are capable of delivering a positive outcome. Sadly the main difference is that while Lingy can ditch his underperformers in a few weeks time when their present deals expire, one of the political parties is going to be given a new five-year contract to run the country. The mind boggles.

Anyway, in my absence the Mighty U's have won a pointless game against Mansfield (highlights below, looks like it was a cracker), and lost pointless games at Gateshead and Salisbury.

Lingy has been handed his budget for next year, which he considers will put United in the top-eight of the spending league table; "I'd say it's in the top eight budgets in the Conference and I'm happy with that, although I'd say it's nearer eighth than first. In terms of 'is the amount I can spend better than when I came here?', I'd say yes," he told the CN last week.

Sticking to budgets hasn't exactly been United's forte in the last few years, but assuming we can maintain this level of spending, it sounds like a sensible basis on which to build a promotion push. The likes of Dagenham, Aldershot, and (to an extent) Burton have shown that it isn't necessarily the team with the most money that wins this league, and indeed tonight's opponents Oxford have totally lost their momentum since they made several expensive, high profile, additions to their squad in the January transfer window.

It will be interesting to see how a United side, boosted by the return from injury of Saah, Gleeson, Carden, and Crow, fares against the fake U's. We matched them when they came to the Abbey earlier in the season, and hopefully we can pick up at least another point at the Kassam.

Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio

2010-04-01T15:50:00.005+01:00

I considered putting up an amusing spoof post today to mark April Fools day, but United beat me to it by announcing that Blue Square have agreed to sponsor the Conference for another three years, paying a seven figure fee for the privilege.

You'd have to be a right fool to splurge a million quid on backing a crappy league with no TV deal that no one really cares about, they can't really expect us to believe that's true. Marvin's cousin, Melvin, coming over to join Jez George on his walk seems much more plausible to me, ahem.

Anyway, U's Blog will not be updated over the next week or so as I'm going on holiday. Don't worry though, I'll be back in time for the exciting climax of the league season, stay tuned blog fans.

Come on Luton (and Kiddy 1 - 0 U's)

2010-03-31T16:50:00.004+01:00

I miss being in the promotion shake-up; the big games, the big crowds, the decent players, the prospect of Wembley heart break.

Because while we were muddling our way to a (by all accounts dire) 1-0 defeat at Kidderminster last night, the champagne was put on ice at Broadhall Way, with Stevenage coming out on top in their top of the table clash with Oxford to put themselves in pole position for promotion to the promised land. Not that the Chavs would know anything about big crowds, seeing as only 5,700 turned up to see it. Presumably their supporters were all saving their cash for the game at The Emirates tonight.

There really is no justice in a world where Stevenage look likely to go up and we're stuck in this hole for another season. So with Oxford seemingly having blown their chances for the second time in four years, I'm forced to give my backing to that dastardly shower from Kenilworth Road. They're bang in form, and are off to ~~destroy~~ Broadhall Way on Saturday. Anything other than a Luton victory will surely mean it's all over, so though it pains me to say it, come on you Hatters, for the love of all that's good about football, don't let Westley win.

Back on the U's, it's a shame to see our unbeaten run come to such an abrupt halt. "We were lucky to get nil to be honest. We were out-fought and out-thought," cliched a dejected sounding Lingy afterwards.

Perhaps, with safety assured, some of the players had half an eye on Magaluf, or Kos, or whatever chav-hole footballers visit on holiday these days. If that is the case they need to buck their ideas up, especially if they don't want to find themselves unemployed come May.

U's 3 - 0 Grays Athletic; Danny Crow-s and blues woe grows

2010-03-30T10:33:00.007+01:00

When carving out a reputation as a football hard-man, it must help if you have a suitable name.

If you're called Nobby or Vinny for example, you already sound a little bit intimidating before you've even started, whereas if you go by the sobriquet Julian or Jeremy then you're fighting an uphill battle.

So fair play to Grays boss Julian Dicks for striding over that hurdle and making a name for himself as one of the most brutal players to grace the English game in recent years. It probably helps that he has the dead-eyed stare of a lord of the underworld - I could quite imagine him arriving at the Abbey on Saturday in a gondola made entirely of skulls.

Seeing as they're bottom of the table, you would hope Julian already knows that his team are rubbish, and if he doesn't I wouldn't want to be the one to tell him. That United managed to lose to such a shambolic outfit earlier in the season beggars belief, and there was little doubt what the result of Saturday's game would be after Carlos Crow broke the deadlock in what was an extremely dull first half.

There may have been the odd occasion last term when I was a little bit disparaging to Crowy on this blog, questioning whether he had it in him to score goals on a regular basis. But I did always have faith that he would produce the goods eventually, and his form this season, in terms of the hard work he was doing before Christmas and the goals he has been scoring since, must make him a strong contender for player of the season.

And now that we're definitely safe, you would hope Lingy will be opening contract negotiations in a bid to tie down the former Norwich man for next year. Ditto the other players who could be in demand, namely Gleeson and the ever-impressive Brian Saah.

Gleese will be missing for tonight's trip to out of form Kidderminster, where a win will send us into the unheard of territory of the top ten. Good times.

20-word match reports - U's 2 - 0 Tamworth

2010-03-30T07:51:00.002+01:00

I'm running a bit behind this week, sincerest apologies. But here are a couple of 20-word match reports from last Wednesday's slaying of Tamworth;

Through the rain a Crow appeared - the Lambs scattered. Ref rubbish, Lingy waved, Partridge can't cross, got soaked. Didn't mind.
- @RounderBrighton

My first flaskless match of the year was not a memorable one. Josh Coulson was excellent again - MOM for me
- Face

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Grays match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

U's 2 - 0 Tamworth & pwoper nawtiness at Histon?

2010-03-25T17:44:00.007Z

Who would've thought that by the end of this season we'd be the most stable football club in the county.

P*sh are searching for the fourth manager of their doomed stay in the Championship (yet Barry Fry somehow remains), City are contemplating life in Newmarket, and the Villagers are illegally chopping down trees and being investigated by the old bill over "financial irregularities."

Financial irregularities which, if you believe the line being peddled in today's CN, would, if proven, definately be the sole responsibility of the Baldwins. Definately.

Now far be it from me to defend our new ~~chairman in waiting~~ consultant, but it seems he and his wife have become a convenient peg on which to hang all Histon FC-related woes. If some wrong-doing has gone on at the Glassworld in the last few years then it seems unlikely that he (Baldwin) was the only one that knew about it.

Perhaps the new regime are keen to distance themselves from this because they know there's more bad news on the way. Or perhaps there's nothing in this story at all and it's just an attempt to smear the "old" order. We shall see in due course.

Anyway, on the pitch United have surely now banished any lingering relegation fears after last night's routine 2-0 win over Tamworth.

I can't really think of much to say on what was a fairly non-descript affair. No one played particularly well, or particularly badly, though as a unit we were poor in the first half, not helped by an even poorer ref. But Tamworth weren't very good either, and I always felt we'd go on to win, which we duly did. We seem to have forgotten how to lose at the moment, which is a pleasant change from earlier in the season.

Now we're safe, maybe the manager will consider giving a few more of the youngsters a run out in the first team. It would be good to see the likes of Jordan Patrick, Adam Marriott, and maybe even Luke Berry starting games between now and the end of the season.

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Abbey buy-back buggered

2010-03-24T10:43:00.007Z

Sadly it appears the Abbey will not be coming home.

And from the press release below, it also seems that Paul Barry and Co aren't on DMJ's Christmas card list.

The CFU chairman makes a very good point in the CN today, namely that if we'd hung onto the Kitson money rather than spunking it on rubbish, unecessary signings like Challinor, McMahon, and Ainge (I added that last bit), this campaign might have had a happier ending. Anyway, full statement from the fans trust below;

CFU Ground Buy Back bid falls short

The bold attempt by Cambridge Fans United to raise the money to buy back the Abbey Stadium for Cambridge United from owners Bideawhile before the option to sell to Grosvenor Developments takes effect has run out of time.

CFU had until 2 p.m. on Wednesday 24th March to put down a deposit of £350K and to have commitments of £3.15M in place and were hoping that an “Amber Knight” would have emerged to assist them in reaching their target.

CFU Chairman, Dave Matthews Jones, said “Whilst we had tremendous support from fans and others, with expressions of interest from over 700 people, some of considerable value, we have to admit defeat on this.

"A team of people have been working really hard to put this thing together by the deadline. We firmly believe that, given extra time, we would have been able to put the funds in place, but we have been told by Bideawhile that there will be no extension of time.”

Matthews Jones continued: "I wish I could say that the club’s Board had been as supportive of the attempt as the fans, but this hasn’t been forthcoming and that is very disappointing, especially as they have had 5 years to buy the ground back, but have failed to achieve it in that time.

"We had less than 5 weeks, so it is, perhaps, not a great surprise that we couldn’t quite manage it.

"This just goes to show how brilliant the fans are and is one of the reasons I am proud to be involved with the Fans Trust. We shall be seeking to work with Grosvenor in the interests of the fans and the club."

20 word match reports - Salisbury and Wrexham

2010-03-23T20:28:00.003Z

I've had one 20-word match report for each of the last two games, so thought I would combine them into one post.

On our 3-1 win over Salisbury:

Another great result - so I've emailed Wembley about how many bags of yellow pages we are allowed to take in.
- Face (presumably typed while wearing a foam hand)

And on the 2-2 draw at Wrexham on Saturday

Point, another point, but
It felt so much better when
That lovely Marriott fired in.
Those are the best moments.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*To submit your 20-word match report on the Tamworth match tomorrow, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Wrexham: 2 - 2 U's & expungement appeal

2010-03-22T13:48:00.009Z

Confession time: When I was younger, I used to name Aston Villa as my second team.

I've seen the error of my ways as I've grown older, but when I was at school it seemed acceptable to have a Premiership team with whom to allign myself for the sake of easy playground banter.

I'm not sure why I chose Villa, possibly because like United they never win anything, or because of the funny name/unusual kit. Either way, the 12-year old me used to get quite happy on the rare occasion Savo Milosevic found the net.

Because of my Villa daliance, I was a big fan of Dean Saunders the player. It's a shame then that Saunders the manager is a buffoon of Lewer-esque proportions. Have a listen to this interview carried out following our 2-2 draw on Saturday, he sounds more bitter than a box of lemons.

Anyway, it sounds like it was another good comeback from the U's, and a great equaliser from young Marriott, which you can see above courtesy of youtube fottage king MatBro51. I also notice we've taken the momentous step of overtaking the "biggest club in Cambridge" in the league table, so at least this season hasn't been a complete waste of time.

Speaking of wasting time, United announced on Friday that they are one of ten clubs appealing the decision to expunge Chester from the record books, a move which has led to much righteous indignation amongst users of the CUFC messageboard.

If those within the club feel that strongly about it then it's worth a try I suppose. But seeing as the six points will make little difference to our situation either way I personally don't see the point in us joining in with Oxford, Stevenage, et al in making a fuss. I also don't like our chances of success, as surely the FA will be very reluctant to make a ruling in favour of changing the table for a third time this season.

One thing I do hope is that we're not paying for this appeal in any way. At a time when the fans are trying to find to cash to buy the ground back, I would hate to think the club are wasting their cash on an appeal which is surely doomed to failure.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Wrexham match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

U's 3 - 1 Salisbury City; Model professionals?

2010-03-17T16:34:00.007Z

There's been some great PR coming out of the club recently.

Following on from the (sadly ill-fated) Danny Crow burrito scheme is the news that Robbie Willmott and Danny Potter will be taking to the catwalk at the Grand Arcade this Friday. They couldn't have picked two more appropriate players - Potter is probably plucking his eyebrows as we speak while Robbie waxes his skinny little legs. Actually that's an awful thought, so I'm going to move swiftly on. Yuk.

But both players might want to consider full-time modeling careers, because at this rate they will find it rather difficult to force their way back into the team when they recover from their respective injuries. In Danny's absence, Simon Brown's seven appearances for the U's have coincided with our seven-game unbeaten run, which continued last night with a fairly routine 3-1 win over Salisbury last night.

And as for Willmott, U's fans will be crossing their fingers and toes that Lingy can extend Scott Neilson's stay at the Abbey. Because so far the on-loan Bradford man has been absolute dynamite, providing pace and a goal threat which we have been lacking from midfield all season. It seems unlikely Neilson will be back next term, and if he does scamper back to Valley Parade perhaps Robbie can use the former Cambridge City man as a benchmark for the kind of performances he should be contributing to the side.

Anyway, again United were far from perfect in dispatching the Whites, but played some good stuff at times after falling behind to an early piece of brilliance from Matt Tubbs. The front four linked up particularly well, stringing together a couple of excellent one-touch passing moves, and though Antonio Murray's performance was a bit in and out he did score a brilliant goal so fair play to the lad.

Ling thought we were comfortable winners, but I'm not sure I agree with that. Salisbury always looked capable of scoring on the break, but for the most part were too sh*t to take advantage. United on the other hand took three of their four main chances, with the other one hitting the underside of the bar, and that kind of clinical-ness is pleasing to see.

So still plenty for Lingy and co to work on, but if we could repeat that level of performance in the 46 games of next season I think we'd finish in or around the play-offs. Wrexham next, bring it on.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

20 word match report - U's 2 - 1 Villagers

2010-03-16T16:03:00.006Z

Yet another home game tonight, good times. Hopefully we can pick up another win and push on up the table towards the dizzy heights of the top half.

Cardy is talking up Salisbury in his pre-match interview, but the team he's describing bear little resemblance to cynical, defensive, diving bunch that usually arrive from Sarum. Whatever, any side which is "boosted" by the return of Danny Webb should be beatable if we pull our finger out.

Looking back for a moment, here are three 20-word match reports on the Histon triumph:

Phew!
I'd forgotten what a home win was like.
The chaps came back nicely
To win, almost like JQ's days.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

I thought Histon were poor,
and I was so pleased to finally win at home,
that I forgot my flask
- Face

Deciduous village people felled by green shoots of U's young saplings.I still pine for my free burrito (thanks Danny!)
- A truly pun-tastic effort from @RounderBrighton

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Salisbury match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

U's 2 - 1 Impington Lumberjacks

2010-03-15T13:54:00.004Z

Is it just me who feels like they've woken up in 2002 today?

The national media have gone into a frenzy because David Beckham will miss the World Cup, as if the former England skipper picking up an Achilles tendon injury is a catastrophic blow to our slender chances of winning the tournament in South Africa.

I feel sorry for Becks, who always strikes me as a decent chap, but in footballing terms I reckon his absence will be about as damaging as that of Wes Brown.

Still, it would be nice to go back to 2002 in some ways; United were in the league, albeit getting thumped every week in what is now League One, while Histon were in some obscure regional division on the brink of their "fairytale" rise.

Happily the signs are that normal service could soon be resumed. On Saturday's showing the Villagers are a shadow of their former selves, while Lingy's United are beginning to resemble the kind of team which can achieve success in the Conference. Our 2-1 win, courtesy of goals from Scotty Neilson and Paul Carden, lifts us to within four points of Histon with a game in hand.

Coulson and Saah (my man of the match) were excellent at the back, and Gleeson showed what an excellent player he is when replaced the disappointing Kevin Roberts. Carden also put in his best showing for ages, dominating the middle of the park and enjoying a good tussle with their outstanding player, Glen Southam.

Scott Neilson was a lot better than at Kettering on Tuesday, and always looked menacing when he got on the ball. And up front, though Crow was quiet by his own high standards, Willock again impressed, and must be staking his claim for a contract at least until the end of the season. A word too for Antonio Murray, who made an impact from the bench and was involved in both goals.

You worry (well, not that much) for the Lumberjacks, whose new players, Southam aside, didn't look up to much. Sheringham's hopeless, brainless, penalty, amazingly awarded for a handball only the referee saw, summed up their efforts in attack, which lacked any kind of quality. If their budget is cut even further I don't see their stay in this division lasting much beyond next season, assuming they survive this time around. And in truth their pathetic support of 305 for what is supposedly a derby game doesn't really merit a place at this level of football. Not an original thought I know, but a true one none-the-less, and they contributed little to what was a very flat atmosphere.

So yeah, all in all a pleasing result from what was a very poor game. It's a bit worrying that it took a goal from them to get us going, but credit to Lingy for making a double change - bringing on Murray and Gleeson - which turned things around. Our manager has shown himself to be astute and decisive on several occasions this season when it comes to making substitutions, and that bodes well for the future.

What also pleases me is the team's resilience, having ground out three wins in the last week despite, by all accounts, not dominating any of the games. Certainly the Kettering and Histon performances have been reminiscent of Quinn-era United, and if Lingy can re-create a side in that one's image, we could be in for fun times next season.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Histon match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Latest news on the great Abbey Stadium buyback

2010-03-11T15:21:00.004Z

Cambridge Fans United's ambitious attempt to buy back the Abbey Stadium is gathering pace, with £3.5million needed in just 13 days.

You've probably all seen the email which was sent out earlier today, but I didn't think it would do any harm to post it here in the hope that it might attract a couple of extra investors. Without wishing to sound like Bob Geldof, if you can spare the cash, please do your bit to help bring the Abbey home;

Greetings
This might sound a little like one of those spam emails from Nigeria but please read to the end before you dismiss the idea! Thank you.

Quick history lesson (for those who may not know): In 2004 Cambridge Utd were in financial trouble & sold their ground (the Abbey Stadium) to then director John Howard's company "Bideawhile". Bideawhile entered into an agreement with CUFC to lease the ground back to the club and also made an agreement that the club could buy back the Abbey at an agreed price if ever they could raise enough finance. At the present moment CUFC pay annual rent of £240,000 and this figure is subject to periodical increases.

CUFC has never managed to raise the repurchase sum and it has now been announced that Bideawhile has agreed to sell the ground to a property developer, Grosvenor Developments. Before that deal can be completed there is a notice period in which CUFC has the legal right to exercise their option to repurchase (if they can raise the funds).

Frankly, raising the required sum (£3.5M + costs) through donations in the limited timeframe is a long-shot at best. However, there may be another way which would suit the club, fans and investors alike.

The proposal is to set up a community interest company ("CIC"). The CIC would be formed by the sale of its 3,700 shares. Each share would cost £1,000 to buy. The sale of these shares would raise the sum required to buy back the ground from Bideawhile (including stamp duty and other set-up costs).

The CIC would lease the ground to Cambridge United FC at a much reduced rent. Potentially saving the club a six-figure sum each and every season. Annual profits of the CIC would be distributed amongst its shareholders. Even with a reduced rent there is an opportunity to provide an attractive return to investors, especially as many deposit accounts at banks/building societies are paying 1% or less to their savers.

Furthermore, there is the potential of capital growth - if the club were to ever relocate, default on its payments (or be liquidated) then the shareholders would still own a prime piece of Cambridge real estate. It has long been discussed that the area has enormous development potential.

Obviously setting up such a company requires legal advice and CFU have spoken with solicitors who will ensure that the CIC is set up correctly.

This is a large sum to raise. But look at it another way - 3,700 people each with £1,000 to invest, or just 740 people with £5,000 to invest and the figure seems achievable. CFU has begun circulating this information to supporters and already the response and pledges for investment is quite staggering.

CFU are taking this story to the media - locally with the likes of the Cambridge Evening News, BBC Radio Cambridgehire and Look East, and also nationally with the likes of Radio 5 Live, Football Focus, Breakfast TV and Sky Sports (remember Soccer AM's Max Rushden is a Cambridge United fan). The recent sad decline of Chester and Portsmouth has put football finance firmly in the media spotlight at the moment and this is a chance to show that fans of a relatively minor club can make a huge (positive) impact.

This is a genuine chance to make a change for good. Remember you are not being asked to "give" anything - you are being asked to invest in something you care about and thereby make a difference. The idea is for you to receive a good return on your investment, the potential of capital growth and secure the ownership of Cambridge United's ground for the benefit of the club and its supporters.

Please note that all of the above represents my understanding of the current position from discussions with the relevant parties. I don't pretend to be an expert, just a keen fan of CUFC! Discussions are ongoing between CFU and CUFC so the final details of any scheme that may go ahead could differ from those set out above. Time is running very short so if something is going to happen, it needs to happen fast!

If the scheme gets off the ground then I am happy to put my money where my mouth is on this one; hopefully you will do the same.

To register your interest in the scheme please send your contact details to cfuinbox@btinternet.com Please DO NOT send any money now - at the present time we simply require details of anyone who may be interested in the scheme.

20 word match reports - Kettering 0 - 1 U's

2010-03-11T15:07:00.002Z

If you weren't at Rockingham Road on Tuesday night, here is fottage of Danny Crow's sexy winning goal, courtesy of MatBro51;

Also, below are a couple of 20-word match reports on what was our second successive victory;

Another great win,
Now just need to play better,
Coulson was awesome
- Ling's Awkward Smile

Felt like the away 'terrace' was tarmaced by the Histon arborists... Great result though. The future is bright.
- @stevelee23

Kettering 0 - 1 U's

2010-03-10T14:51:00.008Z

What's that I see on the horizon? It must be the glorious glow of mid-table mediocrity beckoning United forward; good bye Grays, hello Hayes and Yeading. Farewell Forest Green, ahoy Altrincham. The race for 12th is back on.

Excuse the heady optimism, but I think I'm still in shock at having seen United win a match. It wasn't the prettiest of victories, and indeed we were under the cosh for much of the first half. But we showed good resolve to match a very physical Kettering side, and had a few chances to win the match in the second period before Carlos Crow finally found the net.

The victory at least went some way to justifying the £16 admission price at Rockingham Road, if indeed anything can truly justify paying that amount of money to stand on a piece of sloping concrete and watch two terrible football teams scrap it out for 90 minutes. Kettering are hopeless, and the fact that they are still in contention for the play-offs says more about the lack of quality in the Blue Square Premier than it does about Lee Harper's managerial skills.

To be fair the Poppies weren't so hopeless that they couldn't dominate the first half, as United ceded possession to their hosts time and time again. Simon Brown had to be at his best to parry away an Elliot Charles effort which took a slight deflection en route to goal, before leaping to touch a Jordan Hadfield shot over the bar. Hadfield did beat the U's keeper with a curling effort from 25 yards, but this flew just wide of the post.

United had their chances on the break, with full debutant Callum Willock putting in an impressive stint of line-leading. If he continues this kind of form Big Phill's days could be numbered. Scott Neilson wasn't so impressive, doing little of note until his lofted through ball found Danny Crow all alone just inside the area, but he dragged an angled shot across goal and wide when he really should have tested Zema's bro, Nathan Abbey, in the Kettering goal.

It was a different story in the second half, with Willock and the previously quiet Simon Russell instigating a good number of promising attacks. Kettering were still a threat, especially from set pieces, and Aiden Palmer had to clear one header from roly-poly defender Ian Roper off the line after a well worked set piece.

But it was United who claimed the only goal of the game, seconds after Abbey had made a tremendous double to stop a header from Crow, then smuggle Neilson's follow up behind for a corner. The initial flag kick from Russell was cleared back to the on-loan York man, whose centre came off a gaggle of defenders and was picked up by Crow, who controlled the ball before firing high into the net. 1-0.

Kettering put together a bit of an on-slaught in the closing stages, but Brown wasn't really troubled unduly. The only scare came, naturally enough, following a corner, which one of their substitutes blasted high over the bar from close range. Three minutes of injury time were successfully negotiated with the help of the U's travelling faithful, who provoked a foul-mouthed tirade from Poppies captain John Dempster when they kept the ball after it had gone over the advertising hoardings.

Lingy would be justified in feeling particularly smug after our recent upturn in form. Our unbeaten run has coincided with him fielding a line up predominantly made up of his own players, and we now look (mostly) solid at the back and offer a sporadic but significant threat in attack. If we continue to apply ourselves in such a fashion any lingering relegation fears will soon be vanquished.

Man of the Match: Simon Brown - Two or three excellent saves from the big stopper, who also displayed sound handling when dealing with Kettering's numerous set pieces.

*To submit your 20-word match reports on the Kettering match, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Timbeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

2010-03-09T16:54:00.006Z

It's common knowledge that Histon are all about saving money at the moment, and it seems the playing budget isn't the only thing being cut back at the Glassworld.

For the Villagers have landed themselves in hot water by chopping down a load of protected trees near their ground.

Stop laughing at the back, it's a serious business, and one which could see the cash-strapped Stutes lumbered with a £20,000 fine. To make matters worse, the perpetrators seem to have conveniently vanished.

"We had an address for them [the tree fellers] but when we tried to contact them there was no-one there. They are travellers and must have moved on. They have disappeared," a folorn sounding Tony Roach told today's CN. Travellers moving on eh, who could have forseen such a thing? I hope the Villagers got a receipt.

Histon seem to lurch from one disaster to another at the moment, with Roach, Uncle Fester, and the players contradicting each other from one day to the next. One can only think that it's karma coming round to kick them up the backside for all the gloating and smugness we have had to endure from the Glassworld in recent years, and hopefully they will be destablised enough that we can at least manage a draw in Saturday's match.

Before that United travel to Kettering tonight looking to extend our unbeaten run to five games. Is it too late for a play-off charge?

20 word match reports - Barrow 0 - 1 U's

2010-03-09T11:22:00.004Z

A couple of 20-word match reports for you on our win at Barrow. I've also added an additional one to the Oxford list which I hadn't spotted before (sorry Face!).

What an awful match
Pretty, ugly, whatever
A win is a win
- Ling's Awkward Smile

Pleased to see a win
It was unremarkable, which matters not.
The journey was long
That's by the by, eh.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*To submit your 20-word match reports on tonight's match at Kettering, email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Barrow 0 - 1 U's; Oh happy happy day

2010-03-08T11:05:00.007Z

What a wonderful morning to be alive; the sun is shining, the birds are singing - or in the case of Royston's pigeons, crapping on the heads of unsuspecting shoppers - and United have finally won a match.

By the sounds of things our 1-0 triumph over the mighty Barrow wasn't the prettiest but, to quote Ian Holloway, at least we got her in the taxi to vanquish what has been a barren spell to end all barren spells.

New loanee Scott Neilson netted the winner on his debut, and much as I'm loathed to comment on a strike I didn't see, it sounds as if it was the sort of one-on-one opportunity which Robbie Willmott, the player Neilson was signed to replace, has repeatedly missed this season. To have someone in the side with a bit more composure in front of goal could make all the difference.

Reading Neilson's comments in yesterday's NLP, he doesn't sound too keen to stay longer than he has to, but with so many games in March he could be heading back to Valley Parade come the end of the month with United safely lodged in mid-table.

I know I shouldn't be getting ahead of myself, but with home games against Histon, Salisbury, and Tamworth coming up, there are points there for the taking, and if we can grind out a draw (or better) at Kettering tomorrow night the squad should be in good spirits ahead of the so-called derby next Saturday.

What sort of team Histon will be fielding remains unclear, with six of their big name players told to stay away from Saturday's match with Gateshead. "It's come to a point now when we had to take a stand and tell people that nobody is bigger than the club," laments Uncle Fester in today's CN. A noble stand, but one which could come back to haunt them if their new side doesn't gel quickly. The villagers probably still need two or three more wins to ensure they don't get relegated, and if they don't start picking up points fast we won't be the only ones looking over our shoulders.

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Barrow match. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

20 word match reports - U's 1 - 1 Oxford

2010-03-04T15:19:00.007Z

Highlights of our draw with Oxford are on the BBC website now - you can't quite see the true sexiness of Danny Crow's nearly-goal, but none-the-less it's nice to see some proper video footage of one of our games.

And here for your perusal are a couple of 20-word match reports, courtesy of two of our tweeters:

Could of won, could of lost, would of taken a point at the start but feel a lil gutted that we didnt beat a very good Oxford.
- @jordan_worland

All about further - If Crow fell a yard further, if his shot went a yard further, a point further. Promising.
- @RounderBrighton

And a late addition;

Tonkin you legend
If only Coulson could score
Should've been a win
- Ling's Awkward Smile

And an even later addition;
U's one U's one.
I had tea in my flask rather than my normal coffee.
Is that twenty words yet?
- Face

U's:1 Oxford:1 - surreal, sublime, stalemate

2010-03-03T14:45:00.002Z

Some things go together naturally; Bangers and Mash, Chas and Dave, John Terry and the front page of the News of the World.

Some things don't. I have to say that if I was making a list of events I was unlikely to witness during my lifetime, then the sight of 80's television legend Timmy Mallett and United legend Paul Wanless kicking giant testicles at Marvin the Moose would have been quite near the top. But as anyone who was at last night's game will testify, it happened, and it was glorious. Half time entertainment will never be the same again.

The penalty shoot out wasn't the only strange thing that happened at the Abbey last night - United actually played quite well, albeit without winning the match. As Lingy said afterwards, you'd probably have taken a point beforehand, but there were chances for us to win the game against an Oxford side who are the best I've seen in the division so far this season. The way they kept the ball in the first half was exceptional, and up front their strikers Grant and Green pulled our defence all over the place.

Goalscoring hero big Brian Saah was my man of the match for a towering performance, no lingering problems with his tackle it seems, ahem. Both McAuley and Russell put in good stints in midfield, but I was disappointed in Ives, who had very little influence on the match, and Carden, who was rusty following his lay off.

Crowy ran his socks off as usual, and was denied what would have been the best goal ever scored, ever, by the agility of Ryan Clarke. If we can find him a decent partner then I think we'll be in business, and that man could be Callum Willock, who put himself about in an energetic 15-minute cameo. The same can't be said of Phillips, who again failed to make his mark, and I would consider handing the new signing a first start at Barrow on Saturday.

Ultimately it's no good talking about good performances if you don't get the points on the board, but I'm (still) confident that we're moving in the right direction. And with the games in hand we've got over the likes of Gateshead, Eastbourne, and particularly Ebbsfleet, we should be able to move away from the bottom three in the coming weeks.

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Oxford match. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under this post.

Tamworth postponement leaves United on shake-y ground

2010-03-01T15:51:00.006Z

Having awoken to bright sunshine in the town of Roy on Saturday morning, I was more than a little surprised to hear that our game with Tamworth had been postponed.

One suspects that a ref with more of a can-do attitude would have allowed it to go ahead. Certainly we have seen matches played in worse conditions in the past. But unfortunately we had the bloke (Rob Whitton) who scandalously sent off Stevenage's Daryl Murphy in the first leg of our play-off last year, and his choice to not let the match go ahead perhaps shows that his decision-making has improved little in the last nine months.

So there was nothing to do but wait with baited breath for the will they/won't they/will they/won't they/whothef***caresreally hand-shake between Wayne Bridge and England's Brave Love Rat John Terry ahead of the Chelsea - Man City game. As you probably know, they didn't, and I can't be the only one who thought it looked more than a little choreographed. I bet Wayno had been practicing his moves in the mirror all week.

The decision to postpone could be a damaging blow to United's fragile confidence, with three tough games coming up in the next ten days at home to Oxford then away to Barrow and Kettering. A nice, confidence-boosting, win over a Tamworth side whose form is nearly as bad as our own would've set the team up nicely for tomorrow night's clash with the league leaders. Plus there is the small matter of us now being in the relegation zone, which could also have a psychological impact on our poor little players. I can't see us getting anything against Oxford, but stranger things have happened I suppose.

Chester out, Howard out, Grovesnor Estates in

2010-02-26T16:43:00.006Z

As someone who has lived in rented accomodation for six years or so, I feel I've got a handle on what makes a good or bad landlord.

Good landlords communicate with you regularly, replace things when they get broken, and don't hike the rent up every five minutes. Bad landlords leave their property decorated in a 1980's fashion, don't reply to your phone messages, and disappear off the face of the earth when you've spent your whole 'effin Friday afternoon off sitting around waiting for them to show up, grrr.

But enough of my house-related woes. United will soon have new landlords following today's news that Grovesnor Estates, the property development vehicle of loaded toff the Duke of Westminster, are buying the Abbey Stadium from Evil Ginger Associates, or Bideawhile as they're more commonly known.

I've been thinking about this all afternoon, and come to the conclusion that this news can't make the situation any worse than it is already. Even if Grovesnor have some kind of big nasty plan to build Abbey Heights on the land at some stage, as long as United keep paying the rent there's not really much they can do about it. So no change there then. And it was fairly obvious that there was too much bad blood on both sides for CUFC and Bideawhile to ever work together constructively on a new stadium project. Now we have a landlord with a completely clean slate, and one who appears to have considerably more clout than a couple of two-bob estate agents from Suffolk. Perhaps a new stadium can be pursued after all.

Still, I think Paul Barry is being a bit premature when he describes Grovesnor as a "friendly landlord". Only time will tell whether that is the case.

In other news, Chester's expulsion was confirmed this morning, meaning I am now refusing to look at the league table for fear of having a heart attack. Massive game tomorrow, absolutely massive.

D-Day for Chester

2010-02-26T10:36:00.005Z

Take-over bids by dodgy-looking Danish consortiums not withstanding, we should know in the next few hours whether or not Chester are departing the Conference, taking with them six precious points earned by Lingy's amber army earlier in the season.

I'll be pretty annoyed if the Blues do get the booted out, mainly because it means the 90+ minutes spent at that awful, awful, match we won 1-0 in December will have been a complete waste of time. But putting that aside, Chester is a mess that won't get any better, and must be put out of its misery. That there is even any doubt as to whether the life-support machine is going to be switched off just goes to prove what a complete shambles the The Conference is.

Because as you probably know, the fate of the Blues has been left in the hands of the member clubs, who will meet at Rushden today to consider what to do. I like to imagine all the chairmen sitting in a row, Britain's Got Talent style, and delivering their verdict via a big illuminated red cross displayed above their head, but maybe that's just me. Certainly some chairmen I could name have about as much charm as Piers Morgan, and are almost as smug.

Mansfield have already confirmed they will be voting selfishly to keep Chester - and their points - and I would hope United will do the same, or at least abstain. After all, what else can we possibly do? It's not right, but it would be stupid for a Turkey to vote for Christmas. If Chester do survive, lets hope the Conference board grow a pair and change their own rules, because expecting members to vote objectively on the future of a competitor is patently ridiculous.

Meanwhile United will go in search of that elusive win against Tamworth tomorrow without the services of Robbie Willmott, who has apparently been ruled for the rest of the season with a knee problem. No great loss if you ask me, but it does leave United short in wide areas. According to the CN Lingy is considering whether to deploy Rory McAuley or Sam Ives on the right of midfield, but if it was me I think I'd be tempted to bring in Daryl Coakley and push Aiden Palmer up into midfield. Palmer is a tricky customer, and probably the best crosser we have, and would also give us a bit of pace which the team will lacks sans-Willmott.

Whatever the line up, a win is long overdue, and we're not likely to get a better chance than against a Tamworth side whose form is nearly as bad as our own. 'Mon United.

20 word match report - FGR:1 U's:1

2010-02-23T10:02:00.004Z

One 20-word match report this week, courtesy of haiku-maestro Ling's Awkward Smile

Crow the goal machine
We've forgotten how to win
Stop sitting so deep
- Ling's Awkward Smile

*If you'd like to submit a match report - of 20 words or less - about a future match, you can email me via cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under a recent post.

FGR:1 U's:1 - all downhill from here?

2010-02-22T17:04:00.005Z

I actually think I'd struggle to have less interest in the Winter Olympics, a competition surely designed purely for the benefit of those snowy countries (Switzerland, Norway, Austria etc) who have no chance of winning a medal at the real Olympics.

I mean, who really cares if Amy Williams has won a medal in extreme sliding, or professional sledging, or whatever that sport she does is? It's not that interesting, and while they may still be dancing on the streets of her home town Bath, I suspect the rest of us will have forgotten about Saturday's "historic moment" in a couple of weeks.

Of more concern to me is the speed at which United's season is heading downhill, like a skier who has lost his poles and is heading off-course towards a calamitous collision with some alpine trees, or a mountain goat, or (perhaps more aptly) a moose. Despite Danny Crow's goal, we were unable to hold onto our lead against lowly Forest Green, who equalised in the second half with the help of some fairly woeful defending, as you'll see below.

A point is better than nothing I suppose, but we should be able to see off teams like FGR, and the longer this winless run goes on the more and more fragile what little confidence the players have will become.

If we go on to beat Tamworth next Saturday then a return of five points from a possible nine doesn't look too bad, but any other result and amount of knives which are currently aimed at our manager is bound to increase, especially when you consider the following three matches are against Oxford (league leaders), Barrow (strong at home vs crap away) and Histon (sort-of derby match). Call me a pessimist, but if we can't get three points against bumbling-along-in-mid-table-with-nothing-much-to-play-for Tamworth, I don't fancy our chances of winning any of those next three either.

Wicked wicked, the Forest Green match is massive

2010-02-19T16:02:00.005Z

Old school joke for a Friday afternoon.

Q: Why did the monkey get lost?
A: Coz de jungle is massive

Indeed the jungle may, in the words of M Beat (feat General Levy), be massive, but our game against Forest Green tomorrow is, er, massiver, according to Lingy.

"Whether the Chester points go or not, this is no hiding from the fact that this is a massive game against a team in the bottom four," our leader told the official site, after describing it as "the biggest game of the season" so far. All well and good, but in the same interview he goes to great lengths to stress the importance of taking the pressure off the players during the run in, and I'm not really sure how these two things marry up. Surely describing a game as the biggest of the season is just putting more pressure on? Especially as we're not exactly at crisis point yet. Oh well, I'm sure he knows what he's doing, probably just wants to keep those lazy git players on their toes.

In unrelated news, Wrexham manager Dean Saunders has taken time out from his busy schedule of signing over the hill foreigners and Premier League loan players to appeal for more help in getting promoted.

He said: "As full-time clubs in the Conference we are the teams that everyone else wants to beat yet we sometimes even find ourselves at a disadvantage against part-time clubs.

"I tried to sign a player from one such club a couple of months ago who was earning £350 a week from his football, but was not interested in coming full-time with us because he was also earning £700 from his day job and I could not match that.

"It must surely be in the interests of the Football League that such clubs, hopefully back on an even keel and being run on sensible lines, are given every opportunity to strengthen and improve the quality of the competition in League Two and eventually even higher up in the pyramid."

It's an interesting point he makes, and one that, as a supporter of one of the bigger Conference clubs, I'm sure we can all feel some empathy with. After all, do Macclesfield, Accrington, et al bring more to the football league that Cambridge, Oxford, or Wrexham would? I'd say almost certainly not. But at the same time I don't know exactly what he expects anyone to do about it. Obviously it works both ways, and United or Wrexham are probably more likely to get the signature of a full-time player who might not want to go part-time due to the stigma attached.

And as much as it pains me to say it, the traditional football league clubs currently doing time in the Conference are there on merit, Luton being the only possible exception. And if the big teams are getting outshone by the small ones, they have a look at themselves rather than sit and bleat about what others can do about the situation.

New players a-go-go; Kevin Roberts and Callum Willock sign in

2010-02-17T08:15:00.002Z

With ten weeks or so of the season to go, Lingy's project to remodel the Abbey from a mock-Tudor scouse mansion into a cheaper but much classier east end flat continues apace.

*Bish* Into the skip goes that manky old Parky chest of drawers that's been repaired too many times for it to function properly.

*Bosh* And there goes the antique Hatswell sofa which used to be a favourite but is now getting worn around the edges and has seen better days.

*Clunk* and out the window flies the pointless Challinor hatstand which nobody will own up to buying because they're too embarrassed.

In their place have come a host of new items, mostly second hand, but many of which have so far proved to be much more functional (and in some cases better looking) than the furniture they replaced. Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen would be proud of the Linguist's work, and not a chunk of MDF in sight.

The latest new arrivals were delivered yesterday, in the form of Chester's highly rated utility man Kevin Roberts and Crawley's unwanted journeyman striker Callum Willock. I can't furnish you with too much information about Roberts, other than to say that a glance at the Deva Chat messageboard reveals he is one of the few players in their dwindling squad that they are sad to see the back off, with some posters speculating that he could eventually follow in the foot steps of Chris Holroyd and make the step up to League One.

Willock has never particularly impressed me when playing for other teams, and the fact that I can't find even one of his goals on youtube doesn't bode well. But hopefully he'll provide us with some physical presence in the final third, and as he's non-contract we can get rid if he turns out to be pants.

And with the arrival of two more players, one wonders whether more of the old fixtures and fittings will be forcibly removed in the coming days. Jim Harvey is back in football at Stalybridge Celtic in the Conference North, so perhaps he will take his love child Mark Beesley off our hands at least temporarily. And seeing as now have plenty of options in midfield you have to wonder whether Jai Reason would be available if the right offer came in. Certainly I would be willing to bet we haven't seen the last of the Lingy's squad renovations for this season.

U's:2 AFC Wimbledon:2 - Green shoots of recovery?

2010-02-15T13:08:00.006Z

I can't remember the last time I'm came away from a football match involving United in such a positive mood. If PM Gordon Brown had been present he would undoubtedly now be penning a speech about the worst being behind us, about the team being in the right hands, and about looking to a bright and glorious Amber future.

Whether United's upturn in fortunes is as short-lived as some of the economic "recoveries" we've experienced in the last couple of years remains to be seen, but a battling point against the Wombles is certainly a good starting point from which to ascend towards the heady heights of the top half.

For the first time Lingy was able to name a team containing a considerable number of his own players, and if the performance was indicative of what we can look forward to during the next couple of seasons of his "glorified three year plan" then I don't think anyone could complain too much. United hassled Wimbledon almost non-stop from beginning to end, even when down to ten men, and had Danny Crow or Simon Russell put away one of those late chances we would probably be basking in the glow of a hard-earned victory.

Russell looks a real find, and is making those critics (ok, that's just me then) who labelled him a useless utility player look a bit silly. He and Aiden Palmer form a very solid and dangerous combination on the left at the moment, and long may it continue. In midfield Rory McAuley gave us some much needed height, and if he can work on his passing I think he'll soon establish himself as a regular starter. Meanwhile the goals continue to flow for the Crow, and let's hope the equaliser will be making of big Phill, who seemed to gain a couple of extra gears after netting his first of the season. And I haven't even mentioned the new keeper/man mountain Simon Brown, who made a solid debut and should provide some much needed experience.

Not covering themselves in glory were Jai Reason, who sleep-walked through an anonymous 60-odd minutes after some good recent performances, and Antonio Murray, who had been quiet up until his silly sending off. From where I was sitting it looked a reckless challenge, so Antoniop can't have too many complaints about the ref's decision.

We didn't actually win the game, so I shouldn't get too carried away, but it goes to prove that we can compete with the teams at the top end of the table if we put our minds to it. A similar performance against Forest Green next Saturday will surely result in three points. Bounce bounce!

*Send me your 20-word match reports on the Wimbledon match. Email cufcblog@googlemail.com, tweet via http://twitter.com/Us_Blog, or leave a comment under this post.

Uh oh, we're in trouble, Chester's demise could burst our bubble

2010-02-09T22:20:00.012Z

Another day, another defeat to some shite team I hadn't even heard of five years ago.

Even Radio Cambridgeshire seem to realise how poor we have become, mercifully deciding to stop broadcasting live commentary of last night's 2-1 defeat at Salisbury and blaming "technical issues". Listening to 90 minutes of static would have probably been more enjoyable than the match.

At least it was only in the trophy, but with every passing defeat the pressure continues to mount on Lingy's slender shoulders. Personally I still think he'll turn it round and am unconvinced that another managerial change would be particularly constructive; you might get an improvement in the short term but the new man would encounter the same problems as the present incumbent - someone else's players, someone else's assistant manager, and no money with which to remedy either situation. Certainly bringing in a long ball merchant - the kind of manager that is usually successful in a crisis situation - like the currently unemployed Mark Cooper is unlikely to be effective with the squad we have.

And please put me right if you think I'm being a bit blaze, but I'm still confident we're in little danger of being relegated. Chester and Grays are already down, and over the course of the next 16 games there are bound to be at least two other teams who are shitter than us. However, I'll be slightly less confident if Chester go to the wall, which looks a distinct possibility after they failed to fulfill their fixture last night. As most people are probably aware, losing the six points we nicked off the Deva Stadium outfit this season would leave us just one point and two places clear of the drop zone.

For once you can't entirely blame the Conference administrators for the Chester situation - afterall they inherited this problem in the summer from the football league. However, they shouldn't have let them start the season, and having allowed them to come this far I expect they're going to give them every chance to finish it in some form or other. Blue Square have yet to renew their title sponsorship deal, and acquiring a new backer for the league would be rendered all the more difficult if it were forced to limp through to end of the season minus one member. With this in mind I don't think we should get too despondant just yet; keep the faith people, we'll be fine. Maybe.

Creepy Crawley:1 U's:0 - loan rangers needed (and 20 word match reports)

2010-02-08T16:53:00.004Z

I wasn't at Crawley on Saturday and am not sure what to make of the performance.

On the one hand the radio commentators were making sound as if we were knocking the ball about with the vim and precision of Brazil circa 1970, and that we were unlucky not to win comfortably. However, a glance at the messageboard suggests most people who were in attendance weren't so impressed.

Either way, it's obvious that Lingy needs to dip into the loan market, not least because Pottsy looks set to be sidelined for eight - 10 weeks with shoulder-knack. Re-enforcements are definitely needed up front as well; I know Phillips hasn't had that many games but surely time must be running out for him - I'm not entirely sure what he contributes, as he doesn't seem to be an out-and-out target man or a goalscorer. And as much as I harbour vague hopes that the Forest Green version of Mark Beesley will turn up before the end of the season, it seems highly unlikely, and I'm a bit bemused as to why Lingy continues to use him as a non-impact sub when Adam Marriott seems to have a greater effect on games.

On the match itself, here are the latest crop of 20-word match reports, the Broadfield toilets are getting a bit of love, and rightly so;

Powderpuff in attack.
I had two tuna sandwiches.
The Broadfield toilets are good.
Tired now, after a 'nothing' game.
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

Encouraging-ish
Crow needs to practise shooting
He shanked two sitters
- Ling's Awkward Smile

The Us put in a disapponting performance @ Crawley The side looked void of ideas and inspiration.D Crow had Us best chance.
- @footiedad

Russell looked good, Reason played well, Evans was loud, Crow missed a sitter, the toilets were nice. And we lost.
- @RounderBrighton

20 word match reports - U's:0 Salisbury:0

2010-02-04T10:48:00.003Z

A quartet of match reports for you today, two of which mention Steve Line. Very strange. Anyway here they are:

Passed on this one,
Instead, listened to Mark J.
The match sounded pretty dull,
Though also bored of Steve Line.
-Me and the Palmer, get on fine

Wasn't there last night but BBC's Steve Line told Johno he is working early breakfast for the replay. Lucky Sod!
-Ben Dunmore

Another uninspiring draw, huffed and puffed but nothing in the final third, gotta worry whose gonna get the goals.
@Jordan_Worland

Rubbish rubbish rubbish rubbish beesley sitter rubbish rubbish rubbish gleeson sitter rubbish rubbish crap whistle.
@fluffyskg

U's:0 Whites:0 - Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2010-02-03T14:36:00.005Z

For me the only two moments of note in last night's game came at the end. Neither was the full time whistle, although that did come as blessed relief. They were:

1) Learning that Brian Saah's injury is to his "private area", and required stitches. This begs all sorts of questions, most of which probably shouldn't be asked or answered on a family-friendly blog such as this. Get well soon Big Bri'.

2) While waiting for Lingy to emerge from the dressing room, a Salisbury player walked past, clapped me on the shoulder, and offered me a friendly greeting, before realising that we'd never actually met before. Quite who he thought I was I have no idea, but he seemed like a nice chap.

The game itself isn't really worth mentioning, such was its lack of any kind of quality. United tried hard, but looked powderpuff in attack, and Salisbury seemed to be playing for time for practically the whole second half.

I thought Coulson and new boy Dave Partridge played well at the back, and Reason and Crow both worked hard, but up front we had all the pace of a geriatric tortoise. There's no way 4-3-3 will work without someone like Willmott or the departed Holroyd who can run in behind and stretch the opposition defence. Beesley had a few good moments, but he's never going to be that kind of player, and neither will Phillips. In fact, it's hard to imagine what kind of player Phillips can be, he needs to find some form sharpish.

In midfield Ives appears to be badly in need of a rest, so I would hope Lingy will make some changes ahead of Saturday's trip to Crawley. With a few more players coming into the reckoning there's certainly scope to alter things a bit, perhaps going back to 4-4-2 with Willmott and Antonio Murray on the flanks. Or 4-3-3, with Carden, Reason, and Russell in midfield, and Willmott, Crow, and Murray up front. We'll have to wait and see what our leader decides.

*Send me your 20-word match reports on last nights game - cufcblog@googlemail.com, http://twitter.com/Us_Blog, or leave a comment under this post.

Deadline day shenanigans - Mark Cooper, Lisa Baldwin, Andy Parkinson, & Antonio Murray

2010-02-01T16:43:00.005Z

"Nobody has given the bloke a chance since he was appointed 10 games ago and he has had to deal with one fiasco after another. I am of course unhappy that the results have not changed but at the same time I am not ready to throw the towel in as quick as others appear to be."

Anybody who read Darragh McAnthony's hilarious rant on the P*sh website last week would quickly deduce that the Irishman is not a happy man. But his decision to part company with Mark Cooper still represents a remarkable volte face after the above comments. The scummers are now looking for their third manager of the season, and we can only hope Cooper's departure is the catalyst for the return of Barry Fry to the managerial hotseat. Baz oversaw their last relegation from the Championship, so it seems only right that he should once more take the wheel of their rapidly sinking ship.

Not that we have much room to chuckle seeing as we now have Gareth Baldwin in our midst, a man for whom the truth has always been a fluid concept. Witness his denial in the CEN last week that his wife, Lisa, would be the new U's secretary: "But Baldwin denied speculation wife Lisa would reprise her role as Histon secretary at United following Wayne Purser's resignation - if he were to join the club. He said: 'People are putting two and two together and making 27. It's nothing I'm aware of and my understanding is the club are advertising the job."

So today's news that his spouse has been appointed as Wayne Purser's successor must've been a shock to Gareth. Better communication needed in the Baldwin house perhaps. I don't doubt that we've appointed a very capable individual, and probably the best candidate available, but the timing of this decision stinks like a block of vintage roquefort.

Anyway, in terms of player movement it's been quiet as a mouse at the Abbey, with rumours that Lingy was interested in Coventry's legendary keeper Steve Ogrizivic and disgraced Chelsea skipper John Terry proving to be spurilous. We have managed to ship out Andy Parkinson and replace him ex-Histon man Antonio(p) Murray, a deal which, if you believe certain posters on the CUFC messageboard, actually happened in the summer. Very strange that it's taken him so long to arrive, but at least he's here now I suppose.

I don't really have any strong opinions on Murray, other than that his head is a bit of a funny shape, but it's unlikely he can be worse than Parky, who must go down as one of the worst bits of business for CUFC since Ollie Morah (one for the teenagers there): "He [Parkinson] has conducted himself in an exemplary manner during his time here and we all wish him well for his future career" said Lingy, failing to specify what that career might entail. I can't see it involving football myself, but all the best to Parky, who would surely have been an asset to the club were it not for that horrific injury.

From what I've read it doesn't appear that Murray is an out-and-out winger, so his arrival probably signals an intention from Lingy to persist with 4-3-3 for the time being. With so many new players available, tomorrow night's game should be an interesting one.

Chris off - Holroyd move to Brighton back on?

2010-01-29T17:23:00.006Z

It's been quite a day for revelations.

First we had Tony Blair declaring that he'd invade Iraq all over again if he had to - no surprise there perhaps. Then it was revealed that England's brave John Terry ((c) The Fiver) is the player who slapped (not literally I hope) a leading tabloid with a super-injunction to block them from printing sordid revelations about his private life. Sounds like JT will have some bridges to rebuild with his England pals, ahem.

And finally we have Chris Holroyd's on/off/on/off/on/off/zzzzzzzzzz move to Brighton, which, despite being declared dead in the water earlier today by their version of the CEN, appears to now be back on again. You gotta love local papers, haven't you? A story also appeared on our official site, then was taken down again shortly afterwards, possibly an indication of somebody jumping the gun in announcing the news. In any case, it would seem that it is finally a done deal. Maybe.

And it's probably best for all involved that Chrissy goes now. Admittedly our goal threat will be seriously depleted, but I'm not sure what sort of contribution he would have made had he been waiting around for a summer move. You may remember that Stuart Fleetwood's goal tally at Forest Green dropped off after Christmas a couple of years ago, when it became clear he would be moving on. I expect that even if a player is trying his best, subconsciously you must hang back a bit in fear of injuring yourself and ruining a potential big move.

The only problem with this saga having dragged on for so long is that Lingy now only has three days to secure a replacement. Hopefully he already has some targets in mind.

20 word match reports - Sports:0 U's:2

2010-01-27T17:07:00.006Z

Hurrah hurrah, the road to Wembley continues to be paved with gold for Lingy's amber army. As Clive Tyldesley would've undoubtedly screamed had he been commentating on last night's victory at Eastbourne; NAME. ON. THE. TROPHY. Who can possibly halt our quest for glory? Except maybe Stevenage. Or York. Or Oxford. Or some other teams.

As you can probably tell from this rambling nonsense, I wasn't at Priory Lane last night, so I will leave reporting duty to my learned friends Ling's Awkward Smile and Me and the Palmer, get on fine. Good effort chaps (or chapesses);

Haiku Review:
Eastbourne yet again
Ives and Reason hit the net
Thank god that's over
- Ling's Awkward Smile

A report which doubles as an ode to a recently-departed amber soldier:
Pity it was so cold,
I had a hat on.
The game was ok,
Two-nil to the U's!
- Me and the Palmer, get on fine

*If you'd like to submit a match report - of 20 words or less - about next Tuesday's match against Salisbury/Maidstone, or any future match, you can email me via cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under a recent post.

Hard man David Partridge wings in

2010-01-26T16:06:00.004Z

One wonders whether Lingy has a check list he goes through when looking at potential signings. Ex-Orient? Check. A chequered past? Er, Check. Then step forward new recruit David Partridge.

Obviously I'll wait and see what he's like before I get too excited, but on the face of it this looks like a good signing. An experienced centre half who's played in the Football League, and one who must be used to slumming it after spells in the Scottish and Irish leagues. If you believe his wikipedia page (and why wouldn't you?) he also appears to be a bit of a nutter, and as we've lacked a hard bastard at the back since the departure of Bolland he should slot in nicely alongside Saah. Good captaincy material to take some pressure off Carden perhaps?

Unfortunately he's not available for tonight's trophy tie at Eastbourne, which must be the biggest match of our season so far. It's a sad day when I use "trophy tie" and "biggest match of the season" in the same sentence, but if we lose we will literally have nothing left to play for this year. I'm in no hurry to get back to Wembley (or, as it was memorably described by a writer in When Saturday Comes magazine, "The Emirates with a handle"), but the revenue would be nice and it keeps the rest of the season vaguely interesting.

Good luck to any brave souls making the trip down to Eastbourne tonight, fingers crossed you don't have to endure extra time and penalties...

Black holes and revelations - the CUFC AGM and other stuff

2010-01-25T15:33:00.003Z

When was the last time you saw United score a goal from open play?

For me it was Danny Crow's late winner against Chester on December 1, nearly seven weeks ago. Seeing as the earliest I'll get to another game is next Tuesday, I will have gone two whole months without witnessing a U's goal that didn't come from the penalty spot. I sometimes wonder why I bother.

Saturday's 1-0 reverse at the hands of York City, our fifth league defeat in a row, was another frustrating, goalless, afternoon, and one that I think emphasised the importance of confidence in football. York did very little of note in the final third, but defended solidly knowing they'd get a chance sooner or later. And when they did finally get a sight of goal they took a shot and earned a bit of luck with the deflection that took Neil Barratt's effort past Danny Potter.

On the other hand, United huffed, puffed, and got nowhere, with our attacks getting more and more panicky - and less and less effective - as time progressed. We looked like a team that had run out of ideas as soon as York scored, which is a worrying sign. Lingy will have his work cut out to turn things around, but hopefully a few new signings will change the dynamic of the squad and inject a bit of that illusive confidence.

One player who may not be on his way out just yet is Super Chris, whose move to Brighton appears to have hit a snag. I suspect the striker's agent is busy whoring his client around clubs in the north west, in the hope of securing him a move nearer home. Hopefully the situation will be resolved soon either way, as we need to know where we stand.

Tonight is the Cambridge United AGM, and chairman Paul Barry will no doubt come under the microscope following the article in today's CN confirming that he'd be prepared to sell his shares in the club. Mr Barry has kept United going in the past few years with several substantial cash injections, for which we should all be grateful, but given the disastrous chairmanships of Law and Rolls, you have to question his decision making in appointing people to look after his cash.

And it's been the suggestion for a while that he doesn't want to keep putting his money into CUFC, so perhaps now is the right time for a change. Whether there is a good alternative out there is another matter, but it seems to me that the current situation, with a chairman and who is based on another continent, and whose commitment is questionable, is not one that can continue if the club is going to move forward. And with Gareth Baldwin set to be unveiled in a consultancy role (see yesterday's NLP) it should be an interesting meeting.

20-word match report - U's:0 Minstermen:1

2010-01-25T15:07:00.002Z

Today's match report - well actually two match reports - come from Ben Mynott:

Why use 20 words when three will suffice: smash and grab.

Or two more: woeful finishing.

Especially Phillips. We need a target man desperately. Farewell Hatswell & Holroyd; you've both served the club well & will get a good reception should you ever return. Ben Mynott.

*If you'd like to submit a match report - of 20 words or less - about Tuesday's Trophy replay at Eastbourne, or any future match, you can email me via cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under a recent post.

RIP Courtney's Cambridge United career - hello Simon Russell

2010-01-22T15:41:00.005Z

Today my friends is a sad day in the history of CUFC, up there with the day we sold the Abbey, the day we got relegated to the Conference, and the day we decided to appoint Steve Thompson as manager.

Because just hours ago Courtney Pitt's departure was confirmed, with the little winger joining York on loan for the rest of the season.

For me this is the first bum note Lingy has played in the transfer market so far. Courtney isn't the most consistent of players, and his ability to look like Leo Messi one minute, Kingsley Mbome the next, has always divided the opinions of supporters. But if he was brilliant all the time he clearly wouldn't be at this level, and if you look at the assist charts over the five years he has been at the club I'm sure he would always feature near the top.

Above all, his departure leaves badly us lacking what the Spanish call a "fantasy" player, someone who can come up with an unexpected moment of magic. Quite often during our stay in the Conference a Pitt run or shimmy has been the only thing to light up a dreary match, and I think now he's gone we might truly realise what a dangerous player he is at this level. All the best Courtney.

In his place we appear to have acquired a younger version of Hatswell, a blonde cockatoo by the name of Simon Russell, who played a lot last season for York when they were rubbish, but hasn't featured much since they've become decent. And when you add in the fact that Lingy himself describes the new man as "versatile" (ie not very good at anything), then the early signs don't look promising if you ask me. But I'd be a fool to write off a player before he's even pulled on an amber shirt, so let's hope he shows himself to be worthy of a longer stay.

*Don't forget I want your 20-word match reports on the York match tomorrow. Details below.

Trophy, turncoats and trashy television

2010-01-21T14:48:00.005Z

I awoke this morning to the sound of Carlos Crow roaring a battle cry of "We can still make the play-offs."

Not because young Mr Crow was in my house at 7am you understand, that would have been a bit weird. No, it was on the radio, and although I initially thought he must have signed for another club, it turns out he was referring to United. It (finishing in the top five) all sounds a bit optimistic to me, but I suppose if Loose Women can win an award for being the best factual programme on television then anything is possible.

A more realistic prospect is the FA trophy, and United's hopes of reaching round three remain alive - albeit on life support - after Tuesday's shambolically entertaining 2-2 draw with Eastbourne. The two teams will be sick of the sight of each other by the time next weeks replay is over.

However, our yearly Trophy showdown with the Villagers may have to be cancelled due to allegations that they fielded an illegible player in their 3-0 first round victory at Maidstone. Expulsion from the competition awaits if they are found guilty at an FA hearing on Monday. I like Uncle Fester's assertion in today's CN that they'll get off the hook because "it's not like we signed David Beckham to win us the tie." That's bound to go down a treat with the FA. But perhaps if Histon do get expelled Stutes chairman Tony Roach will reassess his statement that Fallon is the most unprofessional person he has encountered in football...

Anyway, the CN also reports that, surprise surprise, Gareth Baldwin is considering an offer to come on board at United, I don't think anybody saw that coming. Personally I have mixed feelings about his potential involvement. On the one hand he undoubtedly has good commercial contacts which could be utilised to get money into the club, but on the other the way he has treated United fans over the last couple of years, particularly last season during the Glassworld lock out fiasco, has been nothing short of atrocious. You would hope that if he is appointed he will not be given carte blanche to do what he likes as Chairman George was.

20 word match report - U's:2 Sports:2

2010-01-21T14:31:00.003Z

So we've received our first (but hopefully not last) 20 word match report, from Michael, who submitted it despite not actually being at the match. Seems like a very sensible strategy to me.

Didn't go! Watched City beat manure on the box. Listened to Radio Cambridgeshire for the last ten minutes. Final score 2-2. - Michael.

If you'd like to send a match report - of 20 words or less - about this Saturday's match against York, you can email me via cufcblog@googlemail.com, visit the U's Blog twitter page, or leave a comment under a recent post.

Wanted: Your 20-word match reports

2010-01-19T14:53:00.005Z

How's your trophy fever? I can hardly contain my excitement ahead of tonight's clash of the titans between the mighty U's (three wins in 16) and Eastbourne (one win in 15). If Saturday was anything to go by it's bound to be a feast of football, and Wembley is a mere, er, few games away. Believe people, believe.

Anyway, you may have noticed that I now write the match reports for home games on the official website. And as it seems unlikely anyone would want to read the same drivel twice, I want you to do my work for me and send in match reports of 20 words or less. It was something one of the fanzines did ages ago and I thought it was a cool idea, so we'll see if it works this time around. Make them funny, foul-mouthed, rhyming, or even nonsensical, I'll leave it up to you.

You can either post them as a comment under this article, email them to cufcblog@googlemail.com, or tweet them to me via @Us_Blog. I'll look forward to reading the results (if there are any) and posting them up on here tomorrow or Thursday.

U's:0 Sports:1

2010-01-18T11:34:00.005Z

Gah, can someone please put this terrible season out of it's misery; if it was a race horse it would have been shot ages ago, if it was a car it would be on the scrap heap, if it was a pop star it would be, er, David Sneddon (left).

I'm sure that's enough similies to convey my displeasure at having to witness another dire display against opposition who we would have beaten comfortably in the good old days. The performance wasn't quite as bad as that game against Chester before Christmas, but it was still pretty crap, and suffice to say I'm not particularly looking forward to having to endure another 90 minutes on Tuesday night.

I'd like to blame our young, unfamiliar, back four, but you couldn't really fault any of them. In fact the two debutants - Hudson and Palmer - were probably our outstanding players. Hudson looks a real prospect, and paired with a senior partner I think he could be a first team regular next season. Meanwhile Palmer was pretty solid and put over a number of useful crosses, although my only slight worry about him would be that he got caught upfield on a number of occasions.

Our problem was the front six, none of whom covered themselves in glory against part time opposition. Fair play to Eastbourne, who defended in numbers, but we really should have put them under more pressure. There were too many channel balls up to Crow and Holroyd, and when we did get into crossing positions, more often than not the opportunity to test Danny Knowles in the Sports goal was squandered. A note, too, on our set pieces, which were uniformly dreadful. Why are none of our players capable of whipping in a cross with height and pace ala someone like Gareth Gwillim? The tame, floated, deliveries Willmott and co persist with are never going to test any centre back worth his salt.

It's getting to the stage where I really don't care if any members of our underperforming squad leave, and that includes Holroyd, heavily linked with Brighton in the papers this morning. We're not going to get promoted, and due to the amount of shit in the division we're in no danger of being relegated either, so really the whole campaign is a total write off. I suggest we withdraw from all remaining league games and let the pools panel decide the results, we might pick up a few more points that way.

Express yourself, create the space, express yourself, don't give up the chase

2010-01-15T15:57:00.005Z

Bad news ladies and gents, the FA has confirmed that there will be no official World Cup song from the England team at this summers contest.

According to an FA spokesman, the killjoy misery guts England management "want to be fully focused on the football." Someone should perhaps tell them that the Brabinator employed a similarly joyless attitude ahead of the play-off final last season, and look what happened to him. Personally I blame Embrace, whose 2006 dirge World at Your Feet was enough to put anyone off football-related music, or music in general, for life. Someone needs to write another World in Motion, and fast.

Hopefully Lingy will have the players all singing from the same songsheet when our league campaign resumes at home to Eastbourne Borough tomorrow. With Hatswell and Saah both suspended, Blaine Hudson looks set to become the latest child to feature in our first team this term, and having seen him in pre-season I have high hopes for the CRC-graduate. I get the impression that Lingy doesn't rate Josh Coulson, and if Hudson impresses I can see him usurping his older colleague in the centre back pecking order.

The Histon circus continues to provide an interesting sideshow following the bizarre press conference given yesterday by Tony Roach. In a speech sure to do wonders for Histon's already dwindling fanbase he somehow managed to blame Steve Y'Know, Gareth Baldwin, the supporters, the local media, The Railway Vue pub, Gordon Brown, and Princess Diana for the current shambles at the Glassworld Stadium. And in an interview packed with contradictions, I particularly liked the bit where he said that Fallon would be allowed to chose his own assistant, then in the next breath added that he'd given the outgoing manager a list conditions of employment, one of which was that he had to keep Alan Lewer. Still, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

Fallon goes again, and other stuff

2010-01-13T15:35:00.003Z

Not content with nicking our title of "biggest club in Cambridge", the Villagers seem intent on taking the "most shambolic team in Cambridge" crown too.

Steve Y'know's sacking, just two days after he returned to work, was such a ridiculous (and funny) event that I'm half expecting Tony Roach to tear off his face and reveal that he is actually George Rolls masquerading in a Roach suit. Rolls/Roach hasn't even bothered to come up with a new reason for firing Fallon, instead just copying and pasting the statement he made when Lingy left and changing a couple of the names:

"After resuming the role only yesterday it soon became very evident that underlying irreconcilable differences between Steve and myself and the Board would preclude the partnership ever working for the benefit of Histon FC so it was a unanimous decision of the Board of Directors to relieve him of his responsibilities with immediate effect," the Histon supremo said, as he removed the last trace of the Baldwin era from the the Glassworld Stadium.

One suspects the irreconcilable differences between the pair may be small, bald, and Uncle Fester-shaped, as Lewer has, er, stepped into the shoes of his ex-boss on several occasions in the past. It should also be noted that none of these forays into management have gone particularly well, so I wish the Villagers luck with that one, they'll probably need it.

Meanwhile, United secretary Wayne Purser is on his way, meaning there is a vacancy in the club's backroom to be filled ahead of the AGM. A job for former Histon secretary Mrs Baldwin perhaps? Certainly it's looking more and more likely that she and/or her husband will be involved with United at some point in the future.

Orient re-union continues as Aiden Palmer signs

2010-01-11T19:02:00.007Z

For someone who supposedly set up a scouting network for Hibs while he was between jobs, Lingy's little black book seems suspiciously full of players with Leyton Orient on their CV.

Nothing wrong with that of course, just so long as we're not going to restrict ourselves entirely to ex-O's men when it comes to boosting our squad - I'd hate to think that we might end up doing something heinous like re-employing Luke Guttridge.

The arrival of left-back Aiden Palmer, formerly of Orient, Bishops Stortford, and, er, Edmonton Shankstarz, will no doubt cause much grumbling from those who believe we shouldn't be signing someone who was jailed last year for his involvement in a "bloody street battle". But personally I don't think you can deny anyone a second, or third, or 500th chance at turning their life around. What kind of society would we be if we just wrote people off when they did something wrong? Not a very nice one, that's what.

What concerns me most is whether Palmer will be able to step into the sizeable shoes of Tonks on the left side of our defence. After a quick glance at the Orient messageboard, it would seem that the answer is an emphatic maybe:

"He was awful"

"Watched him twice over the Christmas, New Year holidays when Braintree played Bishops Stortford and he was a class above everybody else.
"He'll do OK at Cambridge, there's a decent little full back in there somewhere."

"Palmer will do alright there. Did have a decent run a few years back but seemed to lose it."

"Never rated him."

So there we go. While it's not the kind of ringing endorsement they gave Saah, on the other hand he doesn't sound like a complete Trevor Robinson. It's also unlikely the Orient fans appreciate the complete rubbishness of Conference football, which allows even the most average of players to make a name for themselves. And if our new man applies himself properly, it sounds like he has the talent to do the bizzle, fo shizzle.

An ice little earner?

2010-01-08T16:18:00.006Z

The longer this wintry weather lasts, the more and more retarded the general public seem to be getting. On the radio this morning some bloke had called in to wonder why we don't deal with snow as well as countries like Norway? There are no words, really.

Even those resourceful Nordic types would have struggled to ready a pitch in time for United's match against Eastbourne tomorrow, which has long since been postponed. Not for the first time I'm find myself glad that I don't work for Radio Cambridgeshire, who have to fill a four-hour sports show tomorrow afternoon despite all the local action having been called off. I look forward to live reports from the Wisbeach and district Table Tennis club, or perhaps the Huntingdonshire Judo association. Good luck with that folks.

One suspects the rearranged date of next Tuesday for our FA Trophy showdown is a bit optimistic too, but we'll have to wait and see. And seeing as there isn't a game it leaves Lingy, Cardy, and Jez George free to continue their direct marketing campaign to flog Chris Holroyd.

"If I was a betting man, I probably wouldn't put any money on Chris being here beyond January," Cardy told Radio Cambs, while hanging a big For Sale sign around the 17-goal hitman's neck. "There’s no pressure for players to leave, but we’ve got to make sure whatever deal we do that it’s in the best interest of Cambridge United," added Jez. "But if Chris goes it won’t be for anything under our valuation unless it's gets near the end of the window and we haven't had any bids."

I might have made that last bit up, but the fact remains that the comments in the press this week make it fairly clear we want to get Holroyd off the books this month, and in that respect it makes sense to try and start a bidding war, or at least a small bidding skirmish. But there's a fine line between talking things up and looking desperate, and the United management will have to be careful that they don't make their desire to cash in on Super Chris too apparent, otherwise his value will start plummeting quicker than the temperature.

Ins and outs as Lingy shakes it all about

2010-01-06T07:48:00.005Z

Much like that pesky snow and ice, the transfer window is back with a vengeance this week.

Unlike the snow it probably won't cause a national disaster, or any panic buying in the supermarkets, unless we all become addicted to Sky Sports News that is. But it does promise to keep the staff at the Abbey busy as Lingy reshapes his squad ahead of the battle for that coveted 12th place spot in the Conference. Here's a round up of the comings and goings, confirmed or otherwise, at CUFC this week.

Jon Challinor out (to Mansfield): We already knew about this one, but nevertheless it is a relief to see it go through. JC has been fairly anonymous throughout his time at United, and although he has done good stuff in the past, I suspect his career is now on a downward arc. A complete waste of £15,000 by Brabin.

Anthony Tonkin out (to Oxford): Again this has been common knowledge for a while, and I'm in two minds as to whether it's a good thing. On the one hand, Tonks has probably been our most consistent player this season, and will be difficult to replace. But do we really want to tie up a lot of our budget on an outstanding left back? Obviously in an ideal world you'd like quality players in every position, but now we are operating on a restricted budget I suspect his (presumably hefty) wages can be better used to strengthen in more important areas.

Wayne Hatswell out (to Dundalk): The news that Hats will soon be twatting 40-yard free kicks into defensive walls in the League of Ireland is unexpected post-Christmas bonus. I assumed we'd be stuck with his ageing legs until the end of the season, and given his dip in form this year it's probably the right time for him to pursue a coaching career. All the best Wayno, and thanks for memories such as this:

Luke Foster in? Fresh from his capture of Tonkin, nasty turncoat Chris Wilder was quoted on Radio Cambs this morning as saying we're in for their unwanted centre half Luke Foster. I'll confess to knowing nothing about him other than a) the fake U's used to rate him highly, and b) he fell out with the last manager who I seem to remember accused him of being a big time Charlie. Will reserve judgement on this one if it happens, but anyone's got to be better than Josh Coulson.

Matt Lockwood in? Not sure if there's anything in this or whether the link has arisen purely because the Colchester left back has worked with the Ling before and is available for loan. But if we can afford him I think he'd probably be a good addition. Although at 33 he must be past his best, he would be a senior voice in the dressing room to give the manager some back up, which you imagine would very beneficial given that Lingy doesn't have an assistant manager to call his own.

New year stuff

2010-01-04T11:54:00.006Z

Happy new year folks. My journey back through the channel tunnel seems to have transported me to a bizarre parallel universe where League One Leeds are capable of beating Man United, the BBC deem it appropriate to make the awful Colin Murray the new face of the BDO world darts championships, and Histon think they can nick three of our senior players.

Perhaps Tony Roach has made it his new year's resolution to troll United as much as possible in 2010. Not content with declaring that the Villagers are the "biggest club in Cambridge" (anyone see the slight flaw in that? Unless Histon and Impington has jumped across the A14 in my absence that is) today Stutes acting manager Uncle Fester revealed he is interested in signing up Gleeson, Willmott, and Beesley: "I’ve always been a big admirer of Beesley, Gleeson and Willmott, I’ve spoken to a director at Cambridge and made my interest known to him," he said, before adding that he had put in a call to Sir Alex to enquire about Wayne Rooney's availability, and was looking at Stephen Gerrard as a potential replacement for Josh Simpson.

If this wasn't such a transparent PR stunt I would be quite happy at the prospect of someone taking Beesley and Willmott off our hands. Still, it's good to know that the Roach magic wand has done it's work on the Villagers precarious finances, to the extent that they can now put in bids for full time players and expand their stadium's capacity to 5,200 (average attendance so far this season; 973). Obviously there's nothing to worry about at the Glassworld.

Sadly Lingy must have plenty on his mind after our 4-1 defeat at Stevenage, not least that we could go into our Trophy game against Eastbourne next week with a backline comprised entirely of players yet to hit puberty. With Saah and Hatswell suspended, and Tonks on his way to Oxford, a totally CRC-spawned defence of McAuley - Coulson - Hudson - Coakley looks a distinct possibility, acne-tastic!

However, perhaps the freezing weather will come to our aid and the game will be postponed; it's bad times when the Trophy is all you've got to play for, but it has to be our priority now, and I would rather the senior players missed a league game than this, gulp, important cup tie.

U's:1 Chavs:3 - Revenge of the Cooperman

2009-12-28T14:54:00.008Z

I'm still angry.

Two days may have passed since the boxing day debacle, but I'm still fuming about the performance of referee Ian Cooper. Leaving the country hasn't even helped matters, so I'm hoping that venting my spleen here will enable me to calm down so I can enjoy the rest my holiday.

All football fans moan about officials, but rarely does the ref wrongly influence the result quite as much as the Cooperman did on Saturday. I'd love to hear him explain some of his decisions; even leaving aside the penalty awarded for an offence which a) wasn't an offence, and b) was apparently outside the box, how could he justify sending Hatswell off when two United players (Willmott and Carden) got bookings for similar offences?

And moreover why did he think it was a good idea to keep blowing up for minor fouls every 30 seconds? You have to wonder whether these moronic officials have ever seen football at this level before, because there is always going to be a lot of physical contact, especially against a side like Stevenage. If you keep giving random fouls for every little clash you're never going to get an entertaining or cohesive match.

We've been at the mercy of the Cooperman before; you may remember him as the official who sent off Ben Farrell at Crawley for the henious crime of falling over then getting back up. He also gave both sides baffling penalties in that match, and one wonders whether these referees who are consistently poor are ever sanctioned by the Conference?

I probably sound very bitter, and I realise that referees have a difficult job. They are bound to make mistakes, as we all do in our work, but part of their job is to keep a clear and objective mind even when a match gets a bit fiesty, as it did on Saturday and in the afforementioned Crawley match. Sadly I'm afraid Mr Cooper has shown he is incapable of doing this; too many times he was conned by the diving antics of Mssrs Odubade and Beardsley, and by the end he seemed to be giving decisions to both sides alternately, regardless of who was the aggressor. While he is so easily influenced he should not be refereeing at this level if you ask me, the incompetent buffoon.

Phew, I feel a lot better now. Hopefully United will cheer me further by picking up a decent result at Mansfield this afternoon. Though with Carden and Saah joining Hatswell on the sidelines I won't be holding my breath.

Team of the decade

2009-12-24T12:15:00.006Z

So soon it will be farewell to the noughties, a decade which has introduced us to the delights of Big Brother, Facebook, Lady Gaga, and a plethora of gadgets prefaced by the letter i.

But while it may have been a good time for social networking gurus and singers of indeterminate gender, the last ten years have not been a vintage period in the long ~~and glorious~~ history of Cambridge United.

Nevertheless, in between relegations, ground sales, Wembley failures, and a million managerial changes, a few talented players have donned the amber and black, so in their honour here is the U’s Blog team of the decade, lining up in a 3-5-2 formation.

Goalkeeper: Lionel Perez.
People seem to remember Perez as just being a bit of a clown, and while his many eccentricities were certainly a big part of his appeal, he was a top drawer keeper as well. Sadly a good goalie can only make a difference behind a decent defence, and while he kept us up virtually single-handedly in 2000/01, he could do nothing to stop our demise the following year. Shame that penalty against Tranmere didn’t go in.

Defender: Dan Gleeson.
One of our most consistent performers since he made his debut in back in 2003, Gleese certainly still has the potential to go on and play at a higher level. Hopefully that will be with United, and I can see him moving to centre half from his usual right back slot in the next couple of years.

Defender: Mark Peters.
Our team at the moment is crying out for a slightly younger version of Mark Peters. An unflappable presence in our first three seasons in the Conference, he could head a ball further than most mere mortals could kick it, and was the master of the tactical foul on the half way line to stop a promising opposition attack. Add to that his exploits between the sticks as emergency keeper, and you have a legendary figure.

Defender: Michael Morrison.
Another extremely consistent player, who looked at home in the first team from the moment he made his debut in 2005. Now fulfilling his undoubted potential in the Championship with Leicester City.

Right Wing: Shane Tudor.
Ok, so Tudor was a grumpy little git who had ideas above his station, and of course went off on that legendary rant about how rude the people of Cambridge are. But on the pitch you couldn’t really fault him, and in 2002/03 he was virtually unplayable as Shaggy’s swashbuckling team took Division Three by storm. Sadly injuries meant he was never the same after that, but he was one of few players to shine in the 2004/05 relegation season, netting some crucial goals including the last minute winner against Oxford.

Central Midfield: Luke Guttridge.
I never took to Guttridge at all, but like Tudor I’ll grudgingly admit he was quite good. His best year was 2003/04, when his goals were the only thing that kept us clear of a relegation battle in Division Three. Some unwise career choices since then have meant he probably won’t fulfil his promise, and I’m sure we were all secretly pleased when Danny Webb lamped him one in that game against Shrewsbury in 2004/05.

Central Midfield: Paul Wanless.
I said Perez kept us up single-handedly in 2001, but that’s a bit unfair on Wanny, whose goals also made a big difference. A last minute winner against his boyhood club Oxford was one of 11 strikes that season, and while injuries and his blatant dislike of John Beck hampered him in 2001/02, he played his part in 2002/03, memorably scoring an equaliser at Lincoln when United were down to nine men.

Central Midfield: Paul Carden.
A key player in both our failed promotion attempts, Cardy has been a bit less consistent this term, but remains one of the top midfielders in the Conference. Also deserves credit for the admirable diplomacy he showed after his best mate the Brabinator was given the boot in the summer.

Left Winger: Courtney Pitt.
As the only player to have featured in all five of our Conference seasons so far, Courts deserves to be in the team on the basis of his longevity alone. Capable of playing like Leo Messi one minute, Kingsley Mbome the next, he continues to divide opinions among U’s fans but would always be one of the first names on my team sheet.

Striker: Dave Kitson.
Bizarrely described as a “wandering gipsy” (is there any other kind?) by Paul Wanless in his LDV Vans final programme pen pictures, the ginger genius is probably the best striker I’ve seen play for United. Shame the move to Stoke hasn’t really worked out for him.

Striker: Scott Rendell.
In terms of haircuts, a Kitson/Rendell partnership would be a barber’s nightmare. Scotty isn’t a particularly good footballer, but his habit of finding space in the six yard box should be enough to help carve out a decent career, and you can’t really argue with his record of 30 goals in 55 league games for United. The best one was certainly the last – the winner against the Chavs in the play offs.

Subs: Danny Potter, Andy Duncan, Rob Wolleaston, Tom Youngs, Robbie Simpson.

Snow joke as fixtures are put on ice (ba-dum-tish)

2009-12-21T08:00:00.001Z

The annual bout of snow we seem to get in this country nowadays is manna from local newspaper heaven.

After all, why bother digging around for actual stories when you can fill pages with pictures of smiling kids on sledges, user-generated content (ie, people sending in pictures of their snowmen), and long-winded quotes from weathermen who don't really know what they're talking about. My working week is done before it's even started, hurrah

Groundsmen up and down the country weren't so pleased to welcome the waves of wintry weather which swept across the Uk last Friday, laying waste to the entire Blue Square Premier weekend programme including United's planned Friday night clash with Oxford.

In a way I was disappointed to see the game be called off as I was looking forward to seeing how we'd fare against an outfit who thus far have been comfortably the best in the division. However our Christmas schedule looks considerably less daunting now that the toughest match of the four has been taken out of the equation. Mansfield haven't been in great form recently, so I'm fairly confident we can get something there, and in the home game against Stevenage, although the away leg in Chavsville will be a very tricky proposition. Of course we'll have to play Oxford at some point, but psychologically the postponement may have been a timely one - a heavy defeat on Friday night could have set our confidence back ahead of three matches in quick succession.

Meanwhile Steve Y'Know's future with the Villagers remains about as certain as Eurostar's festive timetabling plans, with talks continuing about ~~the size of his pay off~~ how his situation can be resolved. It might be a good idea if somebody got Stutes chairman Tony Roach a Harry Potter outfit for Christmas, as it seems he has been busy with his magic wand since taking over:

"I’m fed up of reading about Histon being in crisis – there was a crisis when I took over, but there isn’t now," he told the CN, before adding “everyone’s working hard and working together, and there are a lot of positives at the club at the moment.” It seems that, despite their well publicised differences of opinion, Roach has inherited his predecessors penchant for spin. Plus ca change.

U's:3 Hatters:1 - Celebration time

2009-12-14T08:15:00.004Z

It's party time here at U's Blog towers. I've taken the day off work, defrosted a few sausage rolls, and will be inviting all my friends, neighbours, and acquaintances round later on for bucks fizz and cold chicken nuggets.

The reason for these lavish celebrations is that on Saturday we beat the mighty Luton Town in a match which their defender Claude Gnapka described as our "cup final". So we've won in a final!! Against Luton!! Does it get any better than this? The only disappointment was that so few people were there to see it, I think many United fans must have confused this great occasion with an FA Trophy first round game or something.

In fairness to Claude, I'm not entirely sure he's on the same planet as the rest of us, as in the same article he claims that Luton are "a team of winners", when the evidence of the season so far suggests a more accurate description would be "a team of better-than-average Non-League players who win sometimes." Still, whatever makes him happy I suppose.

I wasn't at the game myself, but by all accounts we played very well, and even if it was only the Trophy it should give the squad a bit of encouragement ahead of this tough run of fixtures we have coming up. I've mentioned before that I think we play better against better teams because there's less emphasis on us to dictate the play, and hopefully that will stand us in good stead when we come up against Oxford, Stevenage, et al.

Steve Y'Know gets the heave ho - Fallon suspended by Histon

2009-12-09T07:58:00.005Z

In the same way that listening to political debate on talkSPORT reassures me that I'm not that stupid, watching the Histon "fairytale" unravel in such hilarious fashion makes me feel a lot better about United's current situation.

Because however boring this season may have been so far, it could be a lot worse, we could be Histon. Regular readers will know I don't hold Steve Y'Know's managerial skills in particularly high regard, and that he went down a lot in my estimation when he got involved in that very public slanging match in the 07/08 season about car park spaces, and programme notes, and other such trivial matters.

But ostensibly I think he's a decent guy, and as someone who has been so central to the Villagers rise from obscurity he doesn't deserve to be treated so shabbily in public, no matter what is going on behind the scenes. If nothing else their board have scored massive PR own goal here, and I don't really see how they can remedy the situation without a permanent parting of the ways.

Whoever is in charge, the future isn't looking particularly bright for the Villagers, and I for one won't shed any tears if they disappear back from whence they came. Their handful of proper supporters may not deserve it, but I have no sympathy for the majority of head-in-the-sand, rent-a-fans who have jumped on their increasingly shaky looking band wagon in recent years, and taken great pleasure from our various catastrophes. Looks like they could soon be reaping what they have sewed.

Wooooaaaah, we're half way there

2009-12-07T14:43:00.004Z

I didn't go to Eastbourne on Saturday, but by the sounds of things it was the usual story of the team having to dig themselves out of a hole after conceding sloppy goals.

With all due respect etc etc you've got to look at it as another two points dropped against a side who have just four wins on the board this season, although as we haven't won an away game since August, they probably feel the same. Highlights again nicked from Matbro51's youtube channel, and very good highlights they are too:

Fair play to Lingy for bringing Ives in for Reason, though whether he will be brave enough to stick with a relatively untried player for the upcoming games against far superior opposition remains to be seen. Personally I think Ives deserves an extended run in the side, but would also understand if Lingy decided to opt for the more, ahem, bulky, figure of Reason.

We're now half way through the season, and to be honest so far it's been about as exciting as the average episode of Home and Away, with a top five finish looking less and less likely as the games tick by and points are squandered against mediocre opposition. Last year a total of 81 was needed to reach the play-off's, meaning we will need to improve considerably in the second half of the campaign if we are to be in with a shout of promotion. Not an impossible task, but not an easy one either, especially considering we have yet to meet three of the current leading quintet - Oxford, Stevenage, and Mansfield.

The most pleasing things about the season so far has been the progress of the youngsters - with Ives in particular already looking like a bonafide first team regular - and the extra resiliance that the side has been displaying of late. This is one area where Lingy is certainly superior to his predecessor; I often felt Brabin struggled to influence games once they were underway, whereas Ling's team talks and substitutions seem to have the desired affect more often than not. Hopefully this will be a particularly useful skill when he gots more of his own players in, be it in January or over the summer.

Still, we can leave the serious business of the league behind for a couple of weeks now and concentrate on the big prize, the FA Trophy. After all, we're only four games from Wembley...

U's:1 Blues:0

2009-12-02T16:37:00.007Z

On Tuesday night someone on the messageboard started a thread about the best games United have been involved in over the last decade.

Suffice to say that our 1-0 win over Chester will not be joining the list, but it would fit easily into the top ten worst football matches United have played, be it in the last ten years or in the history of the world. In fact, it would probably be up there in the top ten worst ways to spend two hours of your life, just above going for a drive with Tiger Woods or taking a leisurely boat trip into Iranian territorial waters.

I'd like to say I'm exagerating for comedic effect, but anyone who was there will confirm that I'm not. Suitable adjectives do not exist to describe how dreadful it was - 22 supposedly professional footballers lumping the ball back and fourth to one another with little quality or imagination on display.

In fairness both teams were depleted, Chester because of their well documented financial problems, and United due to a spate of injuries and suspensions which robbed them of the services of Gleeson, Tonkin, and Hatswell. Their CRC-bred replacements, McAuley, Coulson, and Coakley, all performed pretty well, though the full backs gave little support to the wide players when we were on the attack, meaning that Chester's five man midfield nullified the threat of Pitt and Willmott fairly comfortably.

Returning midfield duo Carden and Reason were fairly annoymous, and we looked much better when Ives joined the fray in place of the injured McAuley. I usually stick up for Reason but on this occasion I can offer no excuses for the terrible nature of his performance. I struggle to see how Lingy could justify starting him in the next game.

Meanwhile Crow and Holroyd toiled away up front with no great success, although this partly due to the paucity of the "service" being provided by their team mates. Chester had the best chances of the first half, with Owens rolling a tame shot into the arms of Potter and Chadwick doing likewise from an even better position.

United could have had a free kick in the box in first couple of minutes of part two, when Danby picked up what appeared to be a back pass under pressure from Holroyd. But after a lengthy discussion with his assistant, the ref strangely gave Chester a free kick, presumably for Super Chris's challenge on the visiting number one.

Nothing much else happened until Phillips and Marriott came on to liven things up. Despite looking a bit like a less grumpy version of Andy Murray, Maz appears to be a real prospect, and once again displayed the kind of instinctive eye for goal that has brought him so much success in the Ridgeons League. He almost netted the winner when he picked the ball up just outside the area, and sent a delicious chip over the keeper but also just over the bar.

He was eventually involved in the winner, being brought down on the left for a free kick, which Willmott took and delivered onto the head of Crowy, who beat Danby to the ball and flicked it into the net. The decision to come out for the ball looked to be a poor one from the keeper, and it was certainly a costly mistake for his team and their band of 43 travelling fans.

So yeah, we'll take the points and move swiftly on I think, there's no way we can be that bad again. Lingy's selection for Saturday will be an interesting one - if I was Ives I'd be thoroughly downhearted if I were benched again in favour of Reason, although continuing injury problems at right back may mean both are pressed into service, with Cardy on defensive duty. And with Hatswell available again too, will the boss disrupt the central defensive partnership which kept our first clean sheet in five games? Going on his previous choices, my guess is he probably will.

U's:1 Minstermen:2

2009-11-30T14:17:00.005Z

Bah, who wants to go to Stoke anyway? It's freezing cold, their fans are miserable gits, and Dave Kitson doesn't even play for them anymore. Unlucky York.

Having said that, United were the unlucky ones in a second round FA Cup game which they dominated, save for a mad three minute spell just before half time which ultimately put the visitors in round three. Highlights here, courtesy of MatBro51:

The early signs were promising, with our new young midfield pairing of Ives and McAuley showing up well in the middle of the park and the Pittster carrying on his impressive form of Tuesday night. The only disappointment was that, for all our possession and passing, we didn't force their keeper Michael Ingham into action very often. Holroyd put a header wide and a shot over after latching onto centres from Pitt, while clever play from Ives saw wriggle away from a couple of challenges in the box, but his flighted centre was just too high for Holroyd and Crow.

Part of our problem was that York looked solid as a rock at the back, and while their midfield wasn't up to much, the front pairing of Michael Rankine and Richard Brodie were giving us a lot of problems. After about ten minutes I made the mistake of reasserting my view that, based on his time at Rushden, Rankine is a "spectacularly inept" footballer. He of course rammed that back down my throat by opening the scoring in a fashion that was just plain spectacular. Chesting down a long ball from Ingham, he turned Gleeson and rattled a shot into the top corner from 25 yards. On the day I felt Potter possibly could have done better, but having seen it on tele he would've done well to save what was a really powerful effort. 0-1.

Moments later it was two. A United corner was cleared, and Brodie broke away down the left. Leaving a couple of players in his wake, he loped into the area, pursued by Willmott, who clumsily bundled him over near the edge of the box. You have to suspect that if Carden had been on the field the York top scorer would have been stopped in his tracks further up the pitch, but he dusted himself off to stroke the penalty low to the right of Potter who, as usual, helpfully dived out of the way. 0-2.

Everyone knows we're at our most dangerous when 2-0 down, and in the second period we laid siege to the visitors goal, winning numerous corners and free kicks but again failing to warm Ingham's gloves. Ives hammered a shot just wide from the edge of the area, McAuley failed to connect with a corner with the goal gaping, and then put a shot just wide at the far post.

On the rare occasions that the ball left the York half, Brodie and Rankine had taken to falling over at the merest hint of contact, a tactic which got them plenty of sympathy from baldy ref Mr Ruston. The injustice of it all eventually got too much for Hats, who crudely felled Brodie on half way and ran off grinning as he received an inevitable yellow card. Brodie was soon back on his feet, and almost put the match beyond doubt when, despite looking suspiciously offside, he raced onto a hanging through ball and poked a shot just the wrong side of the post.

By now Lingy had introduced Adam Marriott, who joined Crow and Holroyd in attack, and United kept up the pressure, halving the deficit in the 83rd minute. The goal came from the unlikely source of Tonks, who latched onto a half-cleared corner and drilled in a low half volley which found the net via the inside of the post.

It set up a tense final seven minutes, but despite a few oohs and ahhs from the crowd, we couldn't force an equalisers, and after Ingham had clutched a final corner from Willmott, Mr Ruston signalled the end of the match and York's progress into round three.

So despite playing a good deal better than they did against Rushden last Tuesday, United's cup dreams are over for another year. Never mind though, at least we've still got the Trophy...

Man of the Match: Courtney Pitt - Dangerous both on the flank and in the more central position he adopted in the second half. Had a hand in most of United's best moves.

U's:2 Diamonds:2

2009-11-25T16:46:00.006Z

The Pogues are on the radio, Iceland are flogging frozen meat products of dubious origins, and the X-Factor is chugging predictably towards a hysterical climax; it must be nearly Christmas.

So I think I'm justified in dusting off the trusty festive cliches, despite the fact it's still November. Rushden must have thought Christmas had come early when United giftwrapped them a couple of goals in a truly awful first half. But they showed good presents (sorry) of mind to pull it together in an encouraging second period.

Despite the massively variant nature of our recent performances, I'm growing in confidence that the Linguist is indeed a wise man. I liked his comments at the end of last night's game, particularly when he spoke about wanting his charges to show a bit of bravery in their play. I find it incredibly frustrating when players treat the ball like a hot potato and look to offload it at the first opportunity. If he can build a team of good characters who aren't scared of a bit of responsibility, I reckon we'll do alright.

Until that time, our participation in the race for the play-offs must be in serious doubt. It would help if we stopped giving teams above us in the table a two-goal start, and to be honest it could have been more in a first half totally dominated by the visitors. Lee Tomlin, who was the best player on the pitch by a distance, gave them the lead with a 30 yard free kick which beat the badly positioned Potter at his near post.

At this point United, the excellent Courtney Pitt aside, weren't at the races as an attacking force, but they could have equalised when the Pittster released Parky with a super through ball, but the winger blasted his shot over the bar when a square pass to the unmarked Holroyd would have left Super Chris with a tap in. I feel slightly embarrassed rubbishing Parky again, but he was absolutely woeful during his time on the pitch, contributing nothing in the final third and giving Gleese no cover when Tomlin and his full back Kurt Robinson roamed forward menacingly.

It was 2-0 just before half time thanks to Jefferson Louis, who as usual against United did little of note except score a goal. Some swift passes across the edge of the box released Mark Byrne, and he crossed for Louis to sidefoot home with the defence appealing in vain for offside.

We didn't even really look like scoring at the start of the second half, as referee Barrett began interupt the flow of the match with seemingly random blasts of his whistle. It took a moment of inspiration from the hitherto anonymous Carden to bring us back into the game. Sliding in to win a challenge in midfield, he brought the ball away from two players and lamped a 35 yard effort over the stranded Nathan Abbey. Wind assisted perhaps, but spectacular none the less, 1-2.

And four minutes later it was all square, after Crowy was brought down on the right corner of the box by Stuart. Pitt delivered the free kick, and unlike our usual set pieces it was a good one, fired into the six yard box with pace and curl, allowing Brian Saah to escape his marker and head in from close range. Comeback-tastic, 2-2.

United were in the ascendency now, but couldn't capitalise, and by the end the visitors had recovered their poise and looked the more likely scorers. But there wasn't really any other goalmouth action of note, and the match ended all square.

If they can hang on to Tomlin, Rushden look a good bet for the play-offs, so a point against them isn't a bad result, but we need to start turning draws into wins. If we are going to make the top five, I don't think we can afford to be more than six points off the pace at the turn of the year, and with a difficult looking festive programme, the results of our next two league games, against struggling Chester and Eastbourne, could shape the rest of our season.

Man of the Match: Courtney Pitt - The only player to emerge with any credit from that awful first half, he was a constant menace to the Rushden defence.

United to meet Luton again in the FA Trophy

2009-11-23T12:07:00.006Z

Meh, can't get rid of the buggers can we. Still, judging by our last two encounters it should be a good match, hopefully played out in front of a decent crowd.

And given the amount of riot police that were needed for our last encounter at the Abbey, rumour has it that Ian Darler is planning to bring in some temporary stands to house the visiting Hatters:

Hatters:2 U's:2 - wooooooooooooooo

2009-11-21T17:02:00.003Z

Hahahaha, in your face Luton. In. Your. Face.

I love you Danny Crow you sexy sexy man. That is all.

AOB: Hypocrites hammer Henry for hand ball

2009-11-19T10:56:00.007Z

I bet Thierry Henry is feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself this morning.

As he sits in the kitchen of his multi-million pound mansion, being served an expresso and a croissant by his glamorous girlfriend, and contemplates the prospect of appearing at a fourth successive world cup, I'm sure he is overwhelmed with grief that his blatant cheating has denied us the chance to see such footballing luminaries as Glenn Whelan and Darren Gibson at the finals in South Africa next year. Shame on you Thierry, shame on you.

Admitedly his indescretion in the France versus Ireland game was a fairly obvious one, but judging the hysterical reaction today you'd think he'd murdered Princess Diana then drowned a litter of puppies for good measure.

It was amusing watching Tony Cascarino getting more and more angry on Sky Sports News last night, and today he has channeled his anger into column form on the Times website: "Henry speaks so eloquently, but to me now he’ll always be insincere, a faker, someone who cares only about himself (...) They [FIFA, UEFA, The United Nations, any other regulatory body you can think of] will turn a blind eye, and another piece of football’s credibility, another little part of its soul, will quietly die."

To be fair to Tony, he admits in the piece that he is "no angel", but is the man who openly admits that he played for Ireland throughout his career despite having none of the requisite qualifications - such as being Irish - really in a position to call someone else an insincere faker?

The problem with people in football getting on their high horses is that most of them, be they players, managers, or officials, will have benefited from cheating at some point in their careers. Some incidents, such as the Hand of Henry, are more clear cut and high profile than others, but that doesn't make them any more right or wrong. And, apart from the odd exception, most of them won't have done anything to try and remedy the situation. I'm not au fait with the nuances of Ireland's World Cup Qualifying campaign, but it seems unlikely they went through the entire group stage without getting the benefit of any dodgy decisions.

"They probably won't grant it as we are minnows in world football but let's put them on the spot," said Irish justice minister Dermot Ahern this morning when calling for a rematch. Perhaps once the Irish have removed the chip from their shoulder they will realise that, to mix my metaphors, they are just going to have to suck it up and take the swings with the roundabouts.

Incidentally, I should add that it's the French we should feel the most sorry for in all this. The goal means they are stuck with the completely hopeless Raymond Domenech for at least another seven months.

U's:0 Poppies:2

2009-11-16T16:27:00.004Z

I don't know what was worse on Saturday; United losing to Kettering or Mssrs. Fry and McAnthony lording it up in our stadium as they confirmed the identity of their new manager.

Fat Barry was even on his feet celebrating when the second goal went in; presumably he's looking forward to Mark Cooper bringing a few of his giant players - and Kettering's easy-on-the-eye brand of total football - to London Road.

If that sounds like sour grapes, then that's because it is. Kettering bear more than a passing resemblance to JQ's 2007/08 United vintage; strong, physical, and hard to break down at the back, they get the ball forward quite quickly and let their skillful attackers do the rest. It's probably the ideal set up for this division, though whether Cooper will be able adapt his system for The Championship remains to be seen.

Back to United, and while I didn't think we played that badly, we struggled to impose ourselves on the Kettering giants; a lot of our possession ended with unconvincing shots from distance, and when we did get a proper chance of course it had to fall to Crowy who, as usual, was about as deadly as a viper with dentures.

I have to question a couple of Lingy's choices as well. Firstly I felt the move from 4-4-2 to 4-3-3 was a strange one, considering the success we were having against the Poppies back line was coming from the flanks. Pitt was probably our most dangerous attacker, so to remove him and Willmott in one go was a bit counter-productive, and just seemed to make the (already crowded) middle of the pitch even more congested.

Secondly, why wasn't one of Maz or JP on the bench? I imagine it was with an eye to CRC's FA Vase game, but surely the first team takes priority? I fail to see the point of having two central midfielders (Ives and Challinor) in reserve when one could have been sacrificed for a more attacking option.

Ho hum, onwards and, er, onwards. I'm not usually a pessimistic sort, but I think there's more chance of George Burley still being in a job come Saturday than us getting three points at Luton. I'll wait to be proved wrong.

AOB: Fergie Jr not too Posh to get the push

2009-11-10T14:46:00.004Z

Another day, another set of amusing stories emerging from our near neighbours.

Both P*sh and the villagers seem to have been reading The art of communication according to CUFC given their latest faux pas.

Gareth Baldwin has followed the lead of our dear ex-chairman Rolls, and decided to carry out all communication by text message, much to the chagrin of Tony Roach. It's not all bad news for Histon though, as the new chairman is confident their financial difficulties will soon be a thing of the past.

"I feel very optimistic that we can get through this period and I don't think we're going to have to sell loads and loads of our players," Roach told the CN, while trying to lasso a nearby flying pig. "Our aim is to have cleared all overdue debts by January." That's alright then, they'll be able to turn down those multi-million pound offers for Danny Wright which have no doubt been flooding in over the weekend.

P*sh meanwhile are following the other golden CUFC rule and not saying anything at all about the future of their manager Darren Ferguson, despite the fact that news of his departure is about as secret as Paris Hilton's bedroom preferences.

It's hard to feel sorry for convicted wife-beater Ferguson, and given the amount of cash he's spent I wouldn't go along with those who claim him to be one of the best up and coming managers in the game. But on the other hand, the poor bloke can hardly do more than win automatic promotion in consecutive seasons. The scummers haven't had a great start, but seeing as they have very few players with Championship experience in the squad this season was never going to be a walk in the park.

Still, if you accept the money of a millionaire on an ego trip I guess you have to live with the consequences. Hopefully Barry Fry will be named caretaker, I'm sure he can keep them ticking over at the bottom of the table for a few weeks.

U's:4 Robins:0 - Magic of the cup

2009-11-09T16:48:00.004Z

A cliche-tastic weekend of action in the "worlds greatest cup competition" saw United book a second round date with York City.

"This is what the FA Cup is all about," screamed the ITV team on more than one occasion during Northwich's win over Charlton, neglecting to mention that more often than not these so called "David v Goliath" clashes involving "potential banana skins" like Paulton Rovers end up with David getting trounced by Goliath. Still I'm sure Paulton went out and "enjoyed their cup final" against Norwich - after all there's nothing like getting beaten 7-0 to lift the spirits.

While we're on the subject, well done to ITV for keeping the romance of the cup alive and selecting an imaginative choice of live games - who would have thought they'd chose to show plucky underdogs Leeds, Norwich, and Charlton? I look forward to watching Northampton v Southampton (who could resist a battle of the Hamptons?), Kettering v Leeds, and Carlisle v Norwich in round two.

One game which is unlikely to feature on the television schedules is Cambridge v York, although if the quality of goals in that match is similar to those we scored against Ilkeston then viewers will be missing out. If you haven't already done so, check out these badboys:

Given our run of luck in cup competitions in recent years, you can't ask much more than a home tie in the next round. York are a decent outfit, but a beatable one, and this must present an excellent opportunity to progress to round three and a match with a really big team. Or P*sh.

Hol-ding on to super Chris

2009-11-05T16:41:00.005Z

I've had an enjoyable week so far chuckling at other peoples misfortunes.

Targets of my mirth have included the scummers, mired as they are deep in the relegation zone; Liverpool, for putting themselves in a position where their only striking options not named Torres are David Ngog or Andrei Voronin; Newcastle, for coming up with a worse name for their ground than the Trade Recruitment Stadium; and Histon for, er, well, where do you start. I fear that some kind of footballing karma is going to come and bite me in the ass this weekend when United make a pigs ear of dispatching Ilkeston.

And even if we do get past the Blue Square Norf'ers, bad times are surely just around the corner, as the clock is ticking down to the opening of the transfer window when Chrissy Holroyd will surely be hot footing it towards pastures new.

"I’ve got no concerns about it. We’re still two months away from the window opening, so at this moment in time it hasn’t really entered my head," the cool, calm, and collected sounding Linguist said of his top scorer, who has today been linked with a move to Bournemouth or Norwich. Admittedly this link has been ~~made up~~ unearthed by that bastion of investigative journalism The Daily Star, but you would assume there must be a fair bit of interest in our 14-goal hitman.

Personally I can't see him being a United player come February 1. Our over-budgetness is well publicised, and while it would be nice to think that if we're still in with a shout of the play-offs after Christmas we could keep hold of him until the end of the season, any decent offer will surely see the board cash in. I'm sure the player himself would welcome a move back to the north, given that he stated in his programme interview earlier this season that his favourite place in the world to be is "driving down the M6 on my way home."

In terms of cash, I guess we can expect £50k - £80k in total. I'd be happy with the latter, but suspect any fee will be nearer the former. What is for certain is that if he stays till the summer and any move goes to a tribunal, we are unlikely be looked upon favourably. It's all very well for Ling to talk about the "protection" afforded to us by Chrissy being under-24, but seeing as we essentially brought him as fully grown player I'm sure we'd be looking at a rerun of the Robbie Simpson situation.

Meanwhile over at the Glassworld...

2009-11-02T17:26:00.006Z

What a pleasant change it is to see United going about their business quietly and efficiently, while our near neighbours have endured more departures than the government's drugs advisory panel.

I like this interview with new Histon chairman Tony Roach, where he says the Villagers will need to play decent football and attract bigger crowds to survive, but in the next breath adds that they're going to sell all their best players. Still, anyone who's seen Danny Wright play will know he's clearly a championship striker in the making, and P*sh will be getting the chequebook out in the next few days. Don't worry Stutes fans, salvation is in sight. Maybe.

Meanwhile, new pictures have emerged of the Baldwins, John Beck, and Peter Webster departing the Glassworld Stadium.

U's:2 Kiddy:0 - Some observations

2009-11-02T16:43:00.005Z

I've already written a match report on Saturday's game, and I'm not inclined to inflict another one on you, so here are a few thoughts on our win over Kidderminster.

Despite achieving a comfortable victory over a team above us in the table, I still didn't come away from the match feeling that we played particularly well. In fairness I think that might have something to do with the way the Linguist sets his team up - we seem to be aiming to counter attack all the time which of course means that the opposition have a fair bit of possession - but Danny Potter was probably the busier of the two keepers, albeit that a lot of the shots he had to deal with required fairly routine saves.

For me the outstanding player from a United perspective was Jai Reason, who was back to something like his effervescent best, popping up all over the place and providing good support to the front two. Brian Saah also had a good game, putting in a number of crucial last ditch tackles, although his distribution wasn't the best, and he almost scored an Andy Duncan-style comedy own goal.

On the down side Carden was quiet, and neither of the full backs got forward much, although perhaps that's the price we have to pay for defensive solidity. Willmott's delivery from set pieces was good, but left a lot to be desired in open play, while Parky ran around a lot but didn't really influence the game at all. ML said afterwards that he did "a lot of unselfish work for the team" but do we really need a holding midfielder playing on the wing, especially in a home game where the onus is on us to dictate play?

So yeah, no Halloween frights for the U's during what was a fairly low key event. Perhaps similarly solid-but-unspectacular performances are the best we can hope for this season.

Lincoln:1 U's:3 - Cups half full and cups half empty

2009-10-27T11:18:00.007Z

A little while back, I asked my, ahem, army of Twitter followers whether they could think of a better nickname for our manager than Lingy.

My favourite response was the suggestion from @chrisozz that "If he were a wrestler I think he'd be called The Linguist."

This seems particularly apt given some of the things Martin Ling comes out with. After all, the best nicknames are often the most ironic.

"Today [Sunday's game at Lincoln] was another banana skin and we came through it with flying colours," announced our leader, taking the english language and pushing it through the mangle a couple more times for good measure. "It's a difficult place to come and you have to come and do the job and do it right and we did that today."

It was always going to be an uphill struggle for Lincoln without the presence of the legendary Terry Fleming, who dropped out of the match because ~~playing against United would have been too emotional for him~~ he had a prior engagement. Had the gold-toothed schemer been on the pitch, flopping his rubbish long throws into the box at every opportunity, the outcome could have been far different.

Although by the sounds of things we were below par again, I think that Sunday's match was always going to be a no-win situation for United - if you lose it's massively embarrassing, and if you win you always think you should have beaten such lowly opposition more convincingly. Nevertheless, [cliche]the main thing is that we're through to the next round[/cliche], and have a winnable looking game on the horizon against Blue Square North side Ilkeston.

Meanwhile the Villagers have come up with a cunning plan to make up for the lack of Cup income - a hastily arranged glamour friendly with, er, Peterborough reserves. Sounds like a sure-fire money spinner to me, I hope Cambridgeshire Police have been informed about the massive crowd that will no doubt be in attendance.

Presumably Steve Y'Know will also continue hawking Lanre Oyebanjo round to all and sundry: "He will go somewhere in the January window I would imagine, so we’ve got to do what’s best for us and for Lanre," a not-at-all-desparate sounding Y'Know told the CN last week after P*sh agreed to take the right back on trial. Methinks a long hard winter could be in prospect at The Glassworld

AOB: Conference Sponsorship news

2009-10-19T17:04:00.007+01:00

In between publishing their usual mix of homophobic bile and general scaremongering nonsense, this morning's Daily Mail found time to report this:

"There may soon be a full set of the major English professional football competitions looking for new backing such is the sponsorship crisis facing the game.
"The latest sponsors in discussion over whether to renew a title endorsement are online betting operation Blue Square, whose three-year support of the Conference divisions below the Football League will terminate at the end of the season."

Not to be outdone, The Conference's slick PR machine moved swiftly into action this afternoon with this statement:

"In light of an article published today in the Daily Mail, the Football Conference and our Title sponsor Blue Square, wish to distance ourselves from the report suggesting that Blue Square are to terminate their sponsorship at the end of this current season."

Everybody feeling reassured? Time will tell whether Blue Square feel it is worthwhile to sign up again now that the league isn't televised. But given the Conference board's long list of previous faux pas', I think it would have been appropriate to send out the following image with the press release:

Hayes & Yeading:3 U's:0 - all at sea

2009-10-19T11:46:00.001+01:00

What did you do with your Saturday?

Mine was spent in not-so-sunny Hunstanton, which I was pleased to discover hasn’t changed at all since I holidayed there as a child; same amusement arcades, same fair ground rides, same bizarre shops – the kind which only seem to exist in Norfolk these days – selling everything from knitting needles to out of date crisps. It was like stepping back in time.

Something else which hasn’t changed since my childhood is United’s propensity to try and ruin my weekend. With all due respect etc etc there’s not really any excuse for capitulating at the hands of a part-time outfit like Hayes & Yeading, and by all accounts we were pretty dire, although these excellent video highlights would seem to indicate we created enough to chances to get something out of the game:

Anyway, I’ve been having a think about what’s going wrong so far this season, and I’ve come to the conclusion that our team is severely lacking in leadership. When you think back to the 2007/08 season, JQ’s side was full of figures who could be relied on to rally the troops when the chips were down. Say what you like about players such as Danny Brown, Mark Albrighton, or the great Mark Peters, but even if they were playing badly they could be relied on to gee the players up a bit. Who have we got in the current team who you could say the same about? Cardy? Danny Potter perhaps?

Of course, the squad isn’t that much different to last season, when we did alright, but even then I always felt we lacked a degree of resilience. If we went behind in a game, or playing badly, we struggled to turn it around, and that problem has been exacerbated so far this term.

Lingy gets the benefit of the doubt from me for now, but his talk of attitude problems will be pointless unless he makes changes. I was disappointed to see Challinor back on the bench on Saturday at the expense of Jordan Patrick or Adam Marriott - it doesn’t exactly show a great degree of trust in the young players if he’d rather have a transfer listed player in reserve. I hope his talk of being happy to blood the youngsters isn’t going to turn out to be just lip service.

United out to avoid hairy moments at Hayes

2009-10-16T11:52:00.006+01:00

I've had a couple of shocks to the system this week.

One was the completely unexpected, but truly marvellous, beard sported by David Beckham in England's 3-0 win over Belarus. You don't see many fully bearded footballers these days, let alone those with facial hair of a different colour to that on top of their head. It impressed watching Sunderland manager Steve Bruce so much that he decided to give the former England skipper the Man of the Match award, despite the fact that he [Beckham] was only on the field for half an hour. Well done Becks.

The other was Danny Crow's revelation that he "doesn't start scoring till October". This will come as a shock to United fans, most of whom probably didn't realise that he starts scoring at all. I did laugh when I heard Crowy labelled "CUFC's Carlos Tevez" on Radio Cambs the other day, because the similarities between the two are becoming more obvious by the week: Neither of them score many goals, but do run around a lot to no great effect, and get a lot of love from fans for it. Both are short and, er, a bit dumpy, and both have increasingly preposterous hairbands. Hopefully Crowy has no plans to join a band playing shantytown/urban music, I'm not sure the world is ready for that.

After that superb goal last week I shouldn't mock I suppose. And Carlos Crow and his team mates have a good chance to add to their respective goal tallies tomorrow when we face lowly Hayes and Yeading. With Willmott and Parky set to be sidelined, it will be interesting to see which way Lingy chooses to go; will he pick the obvious replacement, Jordan Patrick, or will he decide to play the slightly more experienced Sam Ives out of position?

For me this would seem like the ideal opportunity to blood JP against opposition who, with all due respect, are unlikely to be the strongest we encounter this season. But on the evidence of his reign so far, I think ML will opt for the safety-first option of Ives. Hayes have only picked up one point from a possible 18 in their last six games, so regardless of the line up, a United win is really the only acceptable result.

U's:4 Eurostar:0

2009-10-12T11:57:00.009+01:00

One day our team will learn to play decent football for 90 minutes. And when that day arrives, we may have a realistic chance of promotion.

In our current state we will continue to get results against terrible teams like Ebbsfleet, and even (I'll whisper it quietly) mediocre ones like the Villagers. But you have to think that anyone half decent is going to beat us fairly comfortably, and the sluggishness which, once again, afflicted our play in the first period of Saturday's match needs to be eradicated, and fast.

And lets not make any bones about it, Ebbsfleet were terrible. It amazes me that you still hear people saying things like "the Conference is a really competitive league" and "the standard in this league is higher than ever", when it clearly isn't. There may some relatively big teams at the top of the table, but there is certainly a lot more dross at the bottom than there was a couple of years ago.

Before the game we were serenaded by a samba band, presumably brought in to welcome Fleet's absent striker, and former United loanee, Mango Vieira. It didn't inspire any of the players to do anything vaguely Brazilian in a first half lower on quality than the latest U2 album. Fleet probably had the better of things, and striker Luis Cumbers had a shot blocked by Danny Potter, while tricky winger Ismael Welsh blazed over after a typically mazy dribble. Potter was also forced into one brilliant save, clawing away a dipping shot from Scott Shulton that looked goalbound.

United had threatened sporadically from set pieces, but it came as something of a surprise when we took the lead just before half time. Jai Reason, who put in a much improved performance compared to some of his recent displays, threaded a pass through for Chris Holroyd, who reached the ball ahead of Lance Cronin, skipped past the stranded keeper, and delived a cross to the far post, where the Pittster made a predigious leap to head the ball into the unguarded net.

Judging by Courtney's bonce-rubbing celebration, he hadn't scored a header for a while, but it was just reward for his performances since returning from transfer-listed exile. The winger was at his unplayable best in the second half, displaying his full array of dribbles, tricks, and flicks. In the 53rd minute he was much too quick for Paul McCarthy, turning and being brought down by the Fleet player/coach. Super Chris, whose penalties are beginning to assume the metronomic quality of Scott Rendell's, slotted away the spot kick high to Cronin's left. 2-0.

Shortly afterwards another Pitt run and cross set up a chance for Tonks, who swept his shot over the bar from just inside the box, and after that the game descended into a lull until the final ten minutes, when United put some, perhaps undeserved, gloss on the scoreline. First Pitt was at it again, releasing Willmott with a superb defence splitting pass. Young Robbie kept his cool, held off a defender, and slotted past the keeper via the inside of the post. But the best goal was certainly the last, which stemmed from some good play from subs Sam Ives and Lee Phillips. Picking up an Ives pass, big Phil juggled the ball on the edge of the area, before unleashing a tremendous half volley which rattled the underside of the bar. The ball rebounded to Crowy on the opposite corner of the box, and he took his time and lined up a curling shot which dipped over Cronin and into the far corner. Superb strike. 4-0.

As I say, I think the final score was slightly flattering, but on their second half performance there's no doubt United were worthy winners. We can only hope this result will herald some improved consistency from Lingy's charges.

Man of the Match: Courtney Pitt - Scored one and made two to cap a sparkling performance.

Slightly homo-erotic ritual of the match: Fleet giants Leon Crooks and Darius Charles were indulging in a bout of shadow boxing just prior to kick off. It was very cute.

Abbey-ly ever after?

2009-10-08T16:29:00.003+01:00

New shirt sponsors eh? Exciting times, and although I was hoping for a return of the C&R Windows splodge, I suppose Greene King will do for now.

In other news this week, Paul Barry seems to have been enjoying the (quite good) new Channel Five show Flash Forward to the extent that it has caused him to have a preminition of his own. Fortunately it doesn't involve any of his colleagues dying, or his wife having an affair, but does feature United staying at the Abbey for at least ten years.

Our leader said: "Cambridge United is and has been at the heart of the community in Cambridge and I believe we now must focus on our current location. Of all the various football stadia I have visited around the world, my favourite ones are those right in cities.

"Fans are at the heart of the atmosphere created at stadia, and with our passionate fans, staying at and improving the Abbey would be my personal wish."

In an ideal world, I too would like to see us stay at the Abbey for ever and ever, but there's no mention in there of how we might get round the little matter of ~£2.5million which we'll have to pay the ginger one in rent over the coming decade.

Having covered our losses personally in recent years, Mr Barry should know better than most that the current situation isn't sustainable, and having done a bit of research I couldn't find one example of a club that pays a substantial rent and achieves on pitch success/stability at the same time. Oxford are obviously doing alright so far this season despite their rent, but it remains to be seen what will happen if they don't get promoted this year.

So we can only hope there is more to this statement than meets the eye. Otherwise it is difficult to see us moving forward as a club with the stadium millstone hanging round our neck.

Villagers:1 U's:1

2009-10-05T16:06:00.003+01:00

Some things in life are inevitable.

Every year politicians make things up, chocolate bars get smaller (and more expensive), and the X-Factor winner produces the Christmas number one single, and there’s very little anyone can do about it. As a Cambridge United fan, another sure thing to add to the list is that Histon will always score a late goal.

Said goal is likely to be a scrappy affair stemming from a set piece of some description. Predictably enough, it happened again yesterday; they got an injury-time corner, the ball was headed on by one of their giant players, bobbled around, hit another giant player (Matt Langston) in the face, and ended up in the net.

It was disappointing to concede yet another late goal, but United were far from their best for two-thirds of the game, so a draw was probably a fair result. Histon dominated proceedings in a low-quality first half, played out in an atmosphere more akin to a pre-season friendly than a local derby. If you read the local press or listen to Radio Cambs you may get the impression that the Stutes are now a slick passing team akin to Brazil 1970 or Arsenal circa 2004. And while it's true to say that, in the absence of the gardening John Beck, they are a little bit less direct, the only time they really looked like scoring was from set pieces. Plus ca change.

It took vital blocks from Anthony Tonkin and Brian Saah to stop Josh Simpson and Nat Knight-Percival, while Danny Wright spurned a glorious chance, robbing Paul Carden and sprinting clear on goal, only to drag his shot wide when it looked easier to score.

Apparently Lingy gave the players a deserved roasting at half time, and they came out for part two looking much more purposeful. Nevertheless, it was still the home side who created the better chances, and a big up and under from John Kennedy set up a chance for Simpson, who was denied by a stretching save from Potter. From the resulting corner, Pottsy also had to be at his best, leaping high to palm away a header from convicted racist Craig Pope.

Simpson hit another shot straight at the U's keeper before United took control. The Pittster was in inspired form, tormenting the Histon back line with some superb dribbles which had Pope and co tied in knots. A couple of runs resulted in shots which drew great saves from Danny Naisbett, while Danny Crow had a diving header blocked, and a angled cross-cum-shot from Hatswell almost looped in at the far post.

When the breakthrough came, it was inevitably Courtney who was the provider, picking up a short corner and driving a low cross into the six yard area where the predatory Holroyd turned in his 12th goal of the season. 1-0.

It couldn't last though, despite the best efforts of Potter, who made a superb save to keep out Billy Crooks' curling free kick. From the resulting corner, Langston climbed highest to win the initial knockdown, and, well, you know the rest.

We were atrocious in the first half, but much better in the second, and hopefully we can take the latter form into our next two, winnable looking, matches.

Man of the Match: Danny Potter - Made up for last seasons error at the Glassworld with a fine performance.

Debate of the Match: An argument between two of our more, er, special supporters (I won't name them, but I'm sure you can guess who they are) about the merits of Danny Crow. Needless to say it was a highly intellectual exchange.

Blues:2 U's:0 - off our trolleys

2009-09-30T15:10:00.005+01:00

It’s always weird when you see footballers off duty, going about the mundane tasks of their daily lives.

Earlier today I was in Royston Tesco, and who should happen to be wandering round the store, looking a bit gormless, but United winger Robbie Willmott. If I was being cruel I might say that young Willmott has spent most of his on-pitch time this season wandering around looking a bit gormless. And indeed it seems he and his team mates put in a performance barely worthy of Poundworld during last night’s defeat at Grays.

I wasn’t at the match, but judging by the radio commentary it was a fairly abysmal 90 minutes, with none of the players covering themselves in glory. And it leaves Martin Ling with a few selection posers ahead of Sunday’s encounter with the back-in-form-at-just-the-wrong-time-actually Villagers.

In the last couple of games I’ve been to, the midfield has looked weak, so I would be tempted to make changes there – perhaps ditching Willmott and Jai Reason and bringing in Sam Ives and Jordan Patrick. The problem with that is that all the CRC players are so tiny, so maybe it's time to consider Ben Farrell, who would offer a more physical option.

I’m really not sure what the solution is, but what isn’t in doubt is the kind of opposition we will be facing on Sunday. Histon will be their usual hard-working, physical selves, and if United can’t compete in that department then we’ll be in trouble.

U's:3 Hatters:4

2009-09-29T09:49:00.006+01:00

I removed a post from Sunday as it had garnered a lot of abuse from some touchy Luton fans. I hope this report doesn't offend the poor petals.

Well, where do you start with Saturday? With all that was going on off the pitch, it was a bit hard to concentrate on the action, but what was clear is that even by our low standards, the capitulation at the hands of ten-man Luton was spectacular and disappointing.

The Hatters are certainly the best team we've faced this season, but that shouldn't take away from the fact that, having established a two-goal first half lead, we should have been able to comfortably close out the match. The team seemed gripped by a collective feeling of nervousness and/or complacency, and this is something Lingy will have to eradicate sharp-ish.

Despite being second best for much of the first half, United somehow established a two-goal lead. While looking good on the ball, Luton appeared succeptible to pace on the counter attack, and a quick break from Bees saw him set up the Pittster, who drifted inside a challenge and cut a shot back across ex-scummer Mark Tyler and into the corner. Then 13 minutes later, Claude Gnapka's crude challenge on Tonkin led to a penalty, which Chrissy Holroyd converted despite the best efforts of Tyler, who got a hand to it but couldn't prevent the ball hitting the net.

The penalty looked a bit harsh to be honest, and Luton's irritation with the ref increased moments later when he sent off Liam Hatch, who picked up a second booking for a lunging tackle on Paul Carden.

Hatch had been Luton's most potent threat in the first period, bossing the off-colour Wayne Hatswell and winning practically every aerial duel. But in his absence his team mates really stepped up to the plate in the second half, passing the ball around crisply and hassling United into mistakes. Kevin Gallen halved the arrears with a close range finish, and Rossi Jarvis hit a spectacular equaliser, curling the ball home from the edge of the box. Then Hats sold Danny Potter short with a weak back header and let Gallen in. Although Pottsy parried his shot, the ball ran loose and Howells netted the rebound.

United rallied briefly, and Super Chris netted his 11th of the season from close range to make it 3-3 after Tyler had parried Hatswell's header. But it proved to be a perfect storm, and following more Luton pressure, Brian Saah was adjudged to have pushed Alan White in the box, and Gallen tucked away the resulting penalty. The U's huffed and puffed in the closing stages, but couldn't find a way past Tyler.

All in all it was a very disappointing performance, especially in the second half, when we failed to retain the ball for any period of time. The excellent Cardy aside, our midfield were conspicuous by their absence, and they will need to be a lot better if we are to get back to winning ways at Grays tonight.

A word on the ref too, who had an absolute shocker. Both penalties looked a bit dubious, and although the sending off of Hatch was probably correct, Gnapka should have followed him off the pitch in the second period when he cynically tripped Holroyd, an offence which would surely have met with a yellow card from the official had the Luton right back not already been booked in the first half. It was a blatent bottle job from the man in black, why can't these muppets ever show a bit of consistency?

Man of the Match: Paul Carden - Kept his head while those around him were losing theirs.

AOB: Sven tells it like it is

2009-09-25T09:19:00.005+01:00

I've been a fan of Sven-Goran Eriksson since he was manager of Sampdoria. As a little lad I remember being glued to Football Italia as he took a team containing Gullit, Mancini, Lombardo, and, er, David Platt, to the summit of Serie A, albeit without actually winning anything of consequence.

Laterly my admiration for Svennis has become based less on his managerial ability, and more on his knack for making vast amounts of cash for doing very little work. Witness the mahousive pay offs he's picked up in recent years after mediocre showings with England, Man City, and Mexico. The man's a genius.

He's on to another good thing now, having taken up the role of director of football at Notts County. What can there possibly be for a DoF to do at a League Two club? I assume he mostly fills his days wooing the club's female employees and going for cups of tea at Tord Grip's house. But this week he managed to come up with my favourite football quote of recent times. Asked about the mysterious way in which County are being financed, he replied;

"No, I don't know where the money comes from (...) I'm not interested in that. The important thing is that the money comes."

There we have it ladies and gentleman, modern football accurately summed up in one sentence. Keep up the good work Sven.

U's:2 Red Dragons:0

2009-09-21T16:18:00.003+01:00

If you talked to a Man City fan today, they'd probably argue that, after Michael Owen's winning goal in yesterday's Manchester derby, six minutes is a long time in football.

But personally I think they and manager Mark Hughes shouldn't be so ungrateful. So what if the referee's watch was being controlled by Lord Ferguson, at least they got to see their team score three goals in one match. Try going over six hours without a goal, then you've got a reason to complain. These pampered Premiership types don't even know they're born, hmph.

Anyway, yeah, United got back to winning ways on Saturday with a supremely comfortable victory over a woeful Wrexham outfit. Dragons boss Dean Saunders doesn't seem to be the brightest button, having replaced last season's underperforming bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports with, er, another bunch of premier league youngsters and dodgy foreign imports. Big name managers eh, they never learn.

I didn't have to wait long for Wayne Hatswell to end my goal drought. Nine minutes had elapsed when Mani, who has grown a lot since he was in The Stone Roses, chopped down Holroyd just outside the box. Hats took responsibility for the resulting free kick, driving a gently but accurate daisy cutter under the wall and into the corner. Perhaps the Chris Maxwell in the Wrexham goal should've done better, but let's not pick holes, a goal's a goal. 1-0.

Wrexham had already wasted what turned out to be their best chance of the half, with Nathan Fairhurst guiding a diving header over the bar, and other than that it was all United. Willmott drew a superb save from Maxwell with a curling free kick, while Holroyd should have tucked away a low Tonkin cross, but instead guided his shot into the grateful keeper's arms. Referee Kinesley showed himself to be a fairly competent official, but missed an off the ball kick by Mani on Willmott which could have resulted in the big defenders dismissal. Just before half time it could have been 2-0 when Brian Saah climbed to meet a corner from the left, but put his free header just wide.

The visitors were employing a 3-5-2 formation which I always think can be an effective way to play at this level. Their extra midfield man led to them having plenty of second half possession, as United retreated further and further back, with Reason and Carden joining the defenders to form what was virtually a back six. Although this led to a few heart-in-mouth moments, the sheer mass of bodies between Wrexham and Danny Potter's goal meant that Saunders men were reduced to wild efforts from distance. Eventually they switched to a 4-4-2 set up, but this just seemed to play into United's hands, with more and more space becoming available for the likes of Willmott and Holroyd to roam into.

And it was the winger who settled the game with ten minutes to go, picking up a pass from Danny Crow, and cutting in from the left flank to beat Maxwell inside his near post with a low shot. Again Robbie was a peripheral figure for much of the game, and you have to hope that the (hopefully) imminent return of Pitt will see return to the right flank where he is at his most dangerous. Beesley could have added a third at the death, but saw his shot blocked by Neil Taylor.

And so ended a game in which United were never overly stretched, but conversely never looked totally convincing. The defence is solid as ever, but in the second period we spent a lot of time on the back foot, and if we play a similar game against the better teams in the division I think we may run into problems.

Man of the Match: Brian Saah – What a signing, immaculate at the back in tandem with Hatswell.

Another life down for Courtney

2009-09-21T14:46:00.010+01:00

When we move house later this year, me and the missus are thinking of getting a cat. Given the events of the weekend I think it would be appropriate to name the as yet unpurchased feline Courtney.

Because surely no player in the history of football has ever had so many reprieves as Courtney Pitt. In the last couple of years he's been transferred listed, ostracised from squad, and released all together, yet somehow he remains a Cambridge United player. Meanwhile the managers who have tried to get rid of him are both currently unemployed: Martin Ling would be well advised to think twice should he consider not renewing the winger's contract at the end of the season.

In all seriousness, news of Courtney's return to the squad will surely be welcomed be even his harshest critics. I don't think anyone who has seen us play this season can possibly think he isn't a better option than Parky, who may have been a useful player once but certainly isn't one anymore.

But even leaving the scouser's shortcomings aside, we mustn't forget that two seasons ago Courtney was one of our most reliable performers. And although he didn't have the best of times last year he, like Parky, was coming back from a serious injury. Hopefully he'll soon be back in the starting line up, and providing his usual mixture of inspiration and frustration. Welcome back Courtney.

Friendly village team update

2009-09-17T09:41:00.003+01:00

September 1st: Histon FC launch their 2009/10 club brochure. P29, HISTON; A COMMUNITY CLUB.
"Histon continues to progress as a family-friendly club at the heart of the local community."

September 16th: Cambridge Evening News - HISTON GIVE OKAY CHANCE TO RETURN.
"Erkan Okay has been handed the opportunity to earn himself a shock return to Histon.
The defender, who parted company with the Stutes by mutual consent in January after being found guilty of assaulting a policeman in Newmarket, has signed reserve-team forms after being released by Chelmsford."

Wombles:0 U's:0

2009-09-14T15:47:00.002+01:00

I'll hold my hands up and take the blame for another goalless United performance.

As Danny Crow bowled past Wimbledon goalkeeper Seb Brown and advanced on the empty net 18 minutes into Saturday's game, I thought my drought was finally over. Surely it was going to be 1-0 to the Cam-ber-ridge.

But alas, I was right in Crowy's line of sight, and he must have spotted me, hesistated, and consequently lost control of the ball, and the chance was gone.

Never mind. At least the Wimbledon game was an entertaining affair, played out between two teams who looked quite evenly matched. While I wouldn't agree with Martin Ling's assessement that we were the better side throughout, we certainly had enough chances to win comfortably. Shame we didn't take any of them.

Wimbledon's ground, tucked away between several rows of houses, is a compact arena which will surely struggle to meet the needs of it's tennants should they continue to climb the pyramid. At least it's not in Selhurst or Milton Keynes I suppose. The shallow terrace allocated to the "Amber Nation" is a bit Histon-esque, but did enable a fair view on most of the pitch.

Despite the sweltering conditions, United started the match at a high tempo, closing the Dons down all over the show as they sought an early goal. The partnership between Holroyd and Crow continues to develop by the game, and the former should have given us the lead in the ninth minute. Following a spell of penalty box pin ball, Carden's shot was parried by the keeper into the path of Super Chris, but his goalbound effort was blocked on the line by Brett Johnson at the expense of a corner.

Then came Crowy's big opportunity, before a Parky volley was blocked by Jay Conroy. But by then the home side seemed to have got wise to our tactics, and were defending a bit deeper to nulify the electric pace and movement of Holroyd. By the end of the half they had carved out some good moments of their own, with Hatswell making a headed clearance under pressure from Danny Kedwell, and Tonker sliding in to clear a Luke Moore cross which had beaten Danny Potter.

We almost scored directly after the restart, with Crow spotting Brown off his line and trying an audacious Beckham style lob which the scrabbling keeper had to palm over for a corner. Holroyd also had the ball in the net, but was denied by an offside flag, and in between times Johnson headed over an open goal for Wimbledon, with Potter out of position, having come for a cross and failed to gather.

The Don's looked stronger in the closing stages, with Moore twice spurning chances to net the winner. First he was inches away from connecting with a cross from sub Jon Main, then he raced cleared of the U's back line, but took a heavy touch, allowing the alert Potter to smother the ball just inside the area.

I was a bit disappointed that Ling left it until the last ten minutes to make any changes. Neither of the wingers really performed, so why wasn't Pitt introduced? What's the point of having him on the bench if he prefers to bring on someone else (Ives) and play them out of position. And we could have done with a change up front a bit sooner, as Crow was clearly flagging in the hot conditions. A draw is by no means a bad result, but it was a winnable game, and we cannot afford to drop too many points, even at this early stage of the season.

Man of the Match: Anthony Tonkin - Several important interceptions allied to a few forays into Dons territory.

AOB: Diving me crazy

2009-09-10T20:19:00.005+01:00

It was a pretty good week to be an England fan, with qualification for the world cup being secured in uncharacteristically emphatic fashion. I'm looking forward to the inevitable nine-months-of-massive-hype-followed-by-crushing-disappointment already. But amidst the joy it was a shame that the fans at Wembley felt the need to boo Eduardo, presumably in response to the Croatia striker's dive in the Arsenal - Celtic Champions League game.

The booing was ironic given that I'm sure the same supporters were cheering as loudly as anyone else when Stephen Gerrard, a player not adverse to the odd dramatic fall himself, scored twice to set the Three Lions on the way to a comfortable victory. And I think the incident demonstrates the ridiculously hypocritical attitude towards diving exhibited by everyone as football. We accept so many other forms of cheating and gamesmanship as part of the sport, but for some reason reserve the right to jump on our high horses when the subject of simulation comes up.

Who among us complains when Danny Potter takes an age over a goal kick? Or if a few yards are stolen at a free kick or throw in? Or if Carden is in the ref's ear all game trying to influence his decisions? Not many I'd have thought, yet if a player dives they become the devil incarnate. Why is this? Perhaps it's because diving is percieved to be a problem introduced to the English game by Johnny Foreigner and is therefore, by definition, worse? I don't know, but it perplexes me that something so insignificant has become such a big issue in the last few weeks.

Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer it if there was no foul play in football at all, but I think we have accept that diving is part of the game now, and that if we're making a list of the problems of modern football, it should/would probably be a long way down the list.

U's:0 Robins:0

2009-09-09T16:03:00.004+01:00

"Now I'm back, we can only hope the players don't return to their old shot-shy ways in tonight's match against Altrincham." - Me. Yesterday.

Next time I'll just keep my mouth shut eh, because this is getting beyond a joke now. The last player I saw hit the net for United in a proper match was Scott Rendell against Stevenage in last years play offs, 360 goalless minutes ago. What possessed me to book tickets for Wimbledon on Saturday I have no idea.

It's not that we played especially badly last night, but I struggle to believe that we are capable of scoring more than one goal against anyone, let alone three, four, or seven. Forest Green, Gateshead, et al must be really, really, bad.

Alty have been waiting almost as long as me to see a U's goal, given that we haven't scored against them in our last three encounters. They returned to Abbey employing the same innovative 8-0-2 formation which successfully nulified us in the final game of last season, but could have taken the lead in the first minute, when Dale Johnson's flick found Chris Senior, who was denied by the legs of Danny Potter.

Johnson's willingness to collapse when in the vicinity of a United player won him plenty of free kicks from the penickity referee Jerden, but mostly United were on top, with early balls into the channels for Holroyd and Crow causing problems for the visiting defenders. At times last season I don't think we were direct enough, and it's good that Ling seems to be addressing this. Unfortunately in the second half the accurate distribution of the first period lapsed into high hopeful balls which were easily dealt with by Greg Young and Robbie Williams. Perhaps if the manager hadn't been absent due to illness we would have stayed on task for the whole 90 minutes.

Anyway, Crowy put in a good stint up front with some intelligent running, but missed the two best opportunities of the first period. Both came from Holroyd crosses, with the first being blocked by a defender and the second looping over the bar.

The second half followed an all-too familiar pattern, with United attacks getting more and more frantic as time progressed. We did have the ball into the net twice, but both goals were disallowed. First Parkinson strayed offside during a move which culminated in Willmott scoring from close range, then Dan Gleeson being penalised for pushing seconds before Wayne Hatswell crashed home a volley at the far post. I wasn't really in a position to judge whether either decision was legitimate, but the latter certainly looked like the kind of shirt tugging that always goes on in Conference games.

It's disappointing that we couldn't break down a hard working but limited Alty team, and I think our line up could do with some tinkering. I don't like continuously slagging Parky, but he doesn't seem to do anything, and it seems ludicrous that Willmott is being played out of position to accomodate a blatently inferior player. Courtney may not be the most consistent, but he is surely a better bet to make things happen than the scouse baldy. It will be interesting to see whether Ling makes any changes for Saturday.

Man of the Match: Danny Crow - Lots of hard work and nice touches from a player who seems to finally be approaching top form.

Announcement of the Match: "Could Joe Bloggs please report to the money room" said the tannoy man during the first half. Perhaps we've finally found the answer to the age-old question of where the Dion money went.